The Wedding Kiss (11 page)

Rose sighed, and then risked a glance at RJ.

“The setup is nearly done,” he assured her, “and I’ll help where I can with the rest of it.”

Rose nodded her thanks, because she didn’t know what to say to RJ right then. She certainly couldn’t tell him that she wasn’t going to be able to work with him in the future, not when he was already speaking to the others one-by-one, presumably about what he could help them with.

She was so stressed out that she could feel the tension rising up through every sinew until she thought her body just might fold in on itself through the sheer pressure she was putting on herself, and everyone else, to pull things off. They’d all put so much into trying to make her wedding perfect, and yet nothing seemed to be going right.

At this rate, she was going to succeed in nothing other than pushing away her closest friends.

“All right,” she said. “Drop everything. I don’t know about the rest of you, but right now, I could use a drink.”

Her staff of good friends looked at her like she’d just sprouted an extra head.

“I’m serious,” Rose said. “We’re all stressing out over this wedding, and I never wanted the chalet to be like that. So I think the best thing we can all do right now is go find a bar somewhere, relax a little, and then see if everything makes more sense after that.”

One by one, the others nodded. Tyce spoke for the group. “You know I’m always up for
that
kind of work day.”

“I know the perfect place,” Phoebe volunteered. “It isn’t very far from here.”

They walked as a group; one big family that swept Rose along as she tried to conduct a conversation with Anne about thread types...while also trying to ignore the way RJ was looking at her.

Like she meant absolutely everything to him…and he’d love her forever, just as he’d told her less than twenty-four hours ago.

“So does it make an actual difference which thread you use?” Rose asked her friend in what she hoped was an interested tone.

“Of course it makes a difference,” Anne insisted. “There’s how strong it is, and obviously the color and shine, not to mention allowing for certain kinds of stitches. But I’m sure I’ll figure out a way to have everything finished on your dress within the next two days.”

Rose didn’t notice where they were going until she looked up and saw the sign for the bar. It was the very same bar she’d once gone to with RJ when Donovan had been late to pick her up for their Valentine’s date.

The very bar where she’d kissed RJ.

Chapter Sixteen

Phoebe, Tyce, Anne and Julie were crammed into a booth while RJ was getting drinks and Rose was in the bathroom.

“Am I the only one who thinks that at this rate, those two are never going to get it together?” Phoebe asked the rest of the group.

“They
should
be together,” Anne said. “You can see how much they love one another. Well, I can, anyway.”

“We all can,” Julie agreed. “I’ve known them less time than the rest of you, but it’s obvious, isn’t it? What I don’t get is why they
still
aren’t doing anything about it. Especially when she’s about to marry the wrong man in two days!”

Tyce shook his head. “We all know how messed up things can get when you’re in love. It can be hard to see what’s right in front of you.”

Phoebe hadn’t even believed in the existence of love before Patrick came along. And now…well, it was more than just RJ being Patrick’s brother that made her want to see him happy. She wanted her friends to have what she had. A real, true, lasting love.

“Rose and RJ are our friends,” she said. “And if there’s anything we can do to help them, I think we should do it. Even if it’s a risk.”

“If I hadn’t been working for Rose at the chalet, I wouldn’t have found Whitney again.”

“And I never would have met Patrick on the dance floor, if not for Rose,” Phoebe agreed.

“I probably would
have found Gareth,” Anne said with her customary optimism, “but Rose helped me to deal with a lot of really difficult things with my parents and half-sister.”

“Me too,” Julie put in. “I mean, I know she fired me initially, but she was kind enough to give me a second chance.”

“She’s done a lot for all of us,” Tyce said. “And so has RJ.”

“I can’t believe how hard he’s working to help her this week, considering that it’s Donovan’s wedding,” Phoebe pointed out, though honestly, she knew what the Knight brothers could be like. Selfless to a fault.

“It’s
Rose’s
wedding. That’s why he’s doing it,” Anne explained, though they all knew that. “And maybe…well, maybe he’s been picturing himself as the groom, rather than Donovan.”

Tyce gestured towards the far side of the bar. “There’s the back exit. Anyone with me?”

Phoebe wasn’t surprised to see everyone else standing up. She did too.

“I just hope that with us leaving them alone today, these two
finally
manage to tell one another what they really feel for each other.”

Everyone murmured their agreement as they got the heck out of the bar.

* * *

As soon as Rose came back from the bathroom, she saw that the table they’d chosen was deserted. RJ was still there with six full drinks laid across the otherwise-empty table, but the others were gone.

She knew exactly why they’d abandoned her there with RJ, and for a moment, Rose felt a flash of panic.

Maybe, she tried to convince herself, it was actually a good thing. There were so many things she hadn’t said to RJ the day before, and floods of tears definitely weren’t the way she wanted to leave things between them. Maybe if they talked, they could get some closure. Rose had to believe that.

“Did they at least say goodbye,” she asked as she sat down.

“No. Clearly, they hoped that if they snuck out, we’d talk.”

“They’re right,” she said in a voice that shook a little on the two words.

“I’m sorry, Rose,” he said in a voice raw with emotion. “I know what you want from me. I know you want me to make it easy for you, but doing that is so damned hard.”

“I don’t think anything about this is easy,” Rose said.

She was so nervous suddenly that she grabbed one of the beers. She was surprised by how good it tasted, so much better than all the champagne she’d been forced to sip at the endless parties Donovan’s friends and colleagues had been throwing for them.

“I want to be everything you want me to be, Rose. Everything you need me to be. It’s just that…I can’t do that and fight for you too. And I
want
to fight for you, Rose. Because I love you.”

“Please,” Rose begged him. “Please don’t say that again.”

“Why not?” RJ demanded. “Why can’t I tell you I love you when it’s the truth?”

Rose put the beer back down on the table with such force that it sloshed over the rim and a drop slid down the side of the glass like a teardrop. “Because it makes things too complicated.”

RJ sat on the other side of the table, so handsome, so strong. Yet despite that strength, she could see how much what she was saying
—
and everything that she wasn’t
—
was hurting him.

After a few more seconds of silence, he spoke. “The situation wouldn’t be complicated if you didn’t feel anything for me. If I thought you didn’t care about me at all, then I’d walk away. But you do, Rose. I know you do.”

“Of course I do,” Rose snapped back, frustration getting the best of her tongue. “But it doesn’t change anything, does it? I’ve had feelings for you for a long time, and you never did anything about it before. Why now?”

“You were always so careful with me. Until Valentine’s Day, last year, when we were at this very same bar and you grabbed me and kissed me. Then I knew you had feelings for me, too. But you were with Donovan. So I waited for you to realize you wanted to be with me instead of him. But now...there isn’t any more time to wait.”

“That’s right,” she said. “There isn’t. You’ve had months, RJ. You should have said something after we kissed.” Her hand started to rise to her lips at the still-potent memory of their kiss, and she barely stopped it in time. “You could have said something a hundred times. Why wait until the day before my wedding?”

When he didn’t answer immediately, she started to get up. Maybe talking to him like this was a bad idea after all. Maybe their relationship just wasn’t destined to end well.

RJ grabbed her arm and caught her, pulling her back into the booth. “You know that I was married?”

“Yes, before you came to work for me.”

“What you don’t know is that my wife had an affair with my best friend. I found them together, and that hurt worse than anything ever had before. I swore to myself that I would never
ever
do to someone what they did to me.”

“So all this time
—
”

“I know you aren’t married to Donovan, but I didn’t think I could live with myself if I came between you. I didn’t want to hurt anyone, even Donovan McIntyre, the way I got hurt. It wouldn’t have been right.”

“But it’s right to do it now?” Rose asked. “So close to our wedding?”

RJ looked terribly uncomfortable, but he nodded. “I have to.”

“Why, RJ?” Rose demanded. “What’s changed?”

RJ didn’t say anything for a second or two, but then he looked her in the eyes, and Rose could see without having to be told just how much he wanted her.

How much he
needed
her.

From time to time, she’d thought that he was letting too much of what he felt for her show through at work, but now she realized just what an amazing job he had been doing of holding back what he felt all this time.

The intensity of what Rose saw in his eyes was almost frightening. Except that it was RJ, and nothing about him could ever frighten her, because if there was one man in the world who would rather die than hurt her, it was RJ.

“What changed?” he repeated softly. “That’s simple, Rose. I realized that what hurts a lot worse than anything my ex did to me is not being with you. It hurts like hell to stand there on the sidelines every day while you’re with Donovan, while he’s trying to turn you into someone you’re not.”

“Donovan loves me,” Rose said, and she believed that he did. Still, Donovan had never looked at her with anywhere near the burning intensity she could see in RJ’s eyes. Her fiancé was always so restrained, so controlled.

“Not like I do. And I know you don’t want to hear it, but I’m going to keep saying it, Rose. I love you. I want to be with you. And I’m saying it now because it’s our last chance.”

Oh my god, Rose thought at she paused to really let his words of love sink in, was she actually
considering
leaving Donovan and being with RJ?

No, she couldn’t.

What kind of woman would back out of her own wedding now?

RJ had said he didn’t want to be a man who broke up a relationship. Well, Rose couldn’t imagine being a woman who walked out with so many people depending on her.

Everything was set. The guests, the venue, even the gluten-free cake that Julie was likely already preparing. Not only did Donovan expect her to say “I do” to him on Saturday, but his family and friends would be horrified if she stood him up.

Walking out not only wouldn’t be right, but it would be exactly what people like Vanessa McIntyre would expect from the poor girl from the wrong side of the tracks who didn’t know how to behave. Who fled at the first sign of trouble the way her father had, when he’d left Rose and her mother to fend for themselves so many years ago.

Rose had worked her entire life to stop being that girl. She couldn’t go back to being her now.

Not even for RJ.

“I can’t do it,” Rose said. “I can’t just throw away my wedding like this. If you’d come to me months ago, then maybe, but now…now it’s too late. It’s far too late.”

He sat there staring at her, obviously trying to work out what to say to make her change her mind. The trouble was, there wasn’t anything he could say. Because it wasn’t about how she felt now.

It was about what was right. And that wasn’t going to change.

“Please don’t hate me,” Rose asked him, even though she knew she had no right to make that request anymore.

The look on RJ’s face would have broken her heart, if it wasn’t already crushed to smithereens.

“I could never hate you. I could never do anything but love you.” He closed his eyes for a brief moment, before re-opening them and saying, “I can’t keep working at the Rose Chalet, being near you every day knowing that there’s no chance for us. I’ll stay on until you can find someone to replace me, but I can’t keep standing in the wings watching another man live the life I want with you, Rose. I just can’t.”

She felt like every part of her would tear apart, one cell at a time, at the thought of not seeing him every day.

“I know,” she whispered.

Just like that, it was done.

Chapter Seventeen

Somehow Rose made it through to the following night when her friends whisked her off in a limousine for her bachelorette party.

“I love limos,” Julie said.

“Me too,” Phoebe said, “especially the free treats and drinks. Who wants what?”

Rose sat there quietly. She wasn’t in the right mood for partying. Not that they were exactly going out clubbing. Maybe an evening at the exclusive spa they had booked would make her feel better about everything that had happened with RJ. Or not.

On the other hand, it probably would
make her look her best for her wedding the next day. That was a good thing, right? At least assuming that they had everything in place for there to be a wedding.

“How can we leave the chalet when there’s still so much to get done before tomorrow?”

Anne leaned across to touch her arm, her expression one of concern. No one had asked Rose about her conversation with RJ at the bar. Then again, Rose knew it was perfectly clear what had happened by not only her distraught expression when she’d come back, but also because RJ hadn’t returned to the chalet with her.