The Whispers of The Sprite (The Whispers series #1) (13 page)

‘I am not expecting you to welcome me with, as you say, ‘open arms.’ I missed you so much – you can’t even imagine how much. I can’t explain why I had to travel, but I am back now and I won't be going anywhere.’

‘Gabriel, you have to go. I have been worried sick all this time and I cannot do this right now,’ I say in a breaking voice, while my mind is screaming at me to not let him go.

He is so close to me and seeing him after all these weeks makes me realise how much I love him. He is so overwhelming; the electric current that brings us together explodes around us. I have to let him go to know if he really cares. He is staring at me for a long while and I am unable to read his expression.

‘As you wish,’ he says, and vanishes as quickly as he appears, leaving me torn between grief and pain.

I force myself not to cry and curl up in my bed, wondering why I let him go. I have no future with him, yet I love him as though I do. This feeling is so intense that it’s tearing me apart. I succumb to my tears.

After minutes that seem to be dragging, I reapply makeup to cover my misery. I manage to pull myself together and walk downstairs to go with Amy. She is ready and excited to have a few drinks. We leave the house and I desperately try to hide how unhappy I really am. The temperature has dropped again. I don't mention Richard, but I am sure that she will explain the story after having few drinks. We walk to the centre of town; it’s a Wednesday night and the town isn’t busy at all. We decide to go to one of the bars by the main road. We find a table and after presenting ID we get a few cocktails. I try not to think about my conversation with Gabriel and concentrate on Amy.
 

‘I think Richard likes you more than he should,’ says Amy, looking at me uncomfortably.

I start to choke and I look at her, wondering if she is serious. The subject came up unexpected; she isn’t joking. I raise my eyebrows.
 

Amy continues, ‘I think he went out with me to get closer to you.’

‘I met him in London. It was by pure accident; I bumped into him at my local restaurant,’ I say.

‘I thought he was really interested in me, but when he came to
Pontyclun
he started asking strange questions about you.’

‘What questions?’
 
I ask, while she stares at me for a long while.

‘Like if you are really Russian, if you're seeing anyone and stuff about your mum.’

I am surprised. I was never keen on Richard, but I accepted him because of Amy.

‘Then we had a fight about it and I told him to go back to London,’ Amy tells me.

She isn’t looking at me; she is staring at her drink. I know that she has fallen for him, similarly to how I love Gabriel with all my heart.
 

‘What else was he asking you?’

‘Well … just a lot of personal questions,’ she says quietly.

Richard is obviously really interested in me, but I am not sure why.
 

‘Hmm. Don’t worry about it. I am not interested in him at all,’ I assure her. ‘So have you spoken to him since then?’

‘No, I haven’t. He was behaving really strangely. I don't want to run after him,’ she says, crossing her legs and smiling again.

I don't want to draw the subject out any more so I start to talk about our forthcoming exams. What Amy just revealed makes me think about all the bizarre events since I’ve come to Swansea. I don't believe that Richard is really interested in me. He is more intrigued about my life rather than me personally. There’s something worrisome in the way he talks to me and looks at me.
 

After a few drinks, I want to ask Amy about the unfortunate party, but I decide that it isn't the right moment. We have a few cocktails and around 11pm we leave the bar and go home. I’m glad when I slide into my bed; I am exhausted and fall asleep almost instantly.
 

The next day, Carl and Michael arrive back at the house. I ask them about their Christmases and exams, which don’t start as soon as mine. After a little catch up, I lock myself in my room and dive into the books. I’ve got two exams that I have to prepare for and my mind is not ready to start the new semester, but it's not about my misery anymore, it's about my future. I clear my mind and erase the memories of Gabriel during my revision.

A week later, I sit the exam for the Hollywood module in the sports hall. The paper isn’t as challenging as I expected and I leave half an hour before the scheduled time. Gabriel isn’t here and I think he understands why he had to stay away. I couldn’t have concentrated if he was staring at me during the exam. Apart from the tutors in the hall, I notice a number of other Sprites wandering around. The last exam is a few days later. It goes well, but not as well as the previous one. I walk home with Amy, who is crying because she forgot to answer one question and believes she will fail as a consequence.

Outside, I notice Gabriel in the company of Rose and a few other Sprites. Suddenly, I feel sick; I don't want to pass their group. They are laughing and she looks more beautiful than ever. My heart is pounding fast. I ignore him, but I feel his eyes on mine. I drop my eyes and pass straight through, wondering whether we ever will feel the same about each other. I can hardly respond to Amy’s rhetorical question about why life is so unfair. I am unable to look at his blue eyes. The pain that spreads in my heart is unbearable.

I want to cheer Amy up, but I am not well myself. I propose getting an early lunch to take our minds off exams. It’s early, around 12 o’clock in the afternoon, and Amy is pleased with the idea. We get to the nearest restaurant and order various dishes. The restaurant is quiet and I try to cheer Amy up, assuring her that she will pass. We decide to order white wine, hoping that the alcohol will take the edge off our bad mood. We leave a few hours later and I am feeling slightly fuzzy. Amy is in a better mood. Gabriel follows us, but as always his expression is unreadable. I want to touch him, feel his soft skin and remember the way he used to look at me, but my subconscious taps me on the back, letting me know that I can't.
                      

I sleep well until a banging noise downstairs wakes me up the next morning. I have a splitting headache. I open my eyes, wondering what time it is. The pulsing pain in my head increases. When I check my phone its 11am and I sigh, disappointed. Someone is still banging on the door downstairs. I wait a few minutes, but no one bothers to go downstairs so I have to get up. It’s Michael, who forgot his books and front door keys. He looks embarrassed when he realises that he woke me up. I find a painkiller in the drawer and go back to bed, hoping for few more hours of sleep, but when I get to my room, Amy is sitting on my bed. She looks as if she has just woken up.
 

‘What’s up?’ I say, yawning. She passes me the mobile phone.

‘It’s your mother; she says it's urgent. You didn't answer so she called me instead,’ she explains.

I take the phone from her, confused.
 

‘Hallo, Mum?’

I don't understand what she is saying; she is speaking in Russian, but she is talking so fast that it is difficult to follow. I tell her to calm down. She starts shouting that I have to come back to London as soon as possible. At the end of the conversation, she says that our house was broken into.
 

‘What happened?’ asks Amy.

‘Someone broke into our house. I have to go to London,’ I say with disbelief, not certain what actually happened. ‘I will let you know as soon as I know more.’

‘Oh my God. Do you want me to go with you?’

‘No, stay here. I will be back tomorrow,’ I say. ‘I hope they haven't taken much.’

‘Call me when you know more,’ she says, disappearing into her room.

I take a quick shower and I pack the necessary clothes. I am hoping that I won’t have to stay in London more than a day or two; the new semester starts shortly. I am not sure what happened exactly, but I hope that Mum was exaggerating when she was talking to me on the phone. I get in my car and I drive as quickly as I can. After a few hours, I reach rainy London again and when I check my phone, I have three missed calls from Mum. I notice a police car outside the house and my stomach crumbles. Mum opens the door. She looks worried but she hugs me straight away.
 

‘What happened?’ I ask and walk into the house, feeling uncertain about what I am going to see.
 

‘Someone broke in while I was at work. They didn’t take anything, but the house has been turned upside down,’ she explains.

12

She is right. The house looks as if it has been torn apart. Everything is either broken or smashed.

‘The police are still looking.’
 

‘Are you sure they didn't take anything?’ I ask.

‘Yes, as far as I can see nothing is missing. I’m afraid your room is in a terrible state,’ says Mum quietly.

I notice a police officer walking towards us. I leave him with Mum and go upstairs to check my room to see if the burglar took anything. What was the purpose of this whole break-in? I freeze for a moment when I see the state of my room. Everything is upside down. The books are thrown everywhere and so are my clothes, magazines and makeup. My furniture is in pieces and my paperwork has been scattered. I walk to my small drawer by the bed.

Before I left, I had made sure I locked it. It contained a lot of pictures from Russia, my medical records, a few bills and letters from family. I wrote a date of every meeting with Gabriel on a small calendar, but I haven’t mentioned any names in there, only dates and a few descriptions. All of that is gone. I don't understand any of this. It looks like someone was looking for something specific and obviously all my personal stuff is gone. I walk into my mother’s bedroom. Her room is a mess, but it isn’t as bad as my room. The drawers are empty. Her lingerie is lying on the floor. I can't believe what I am seeing. When I walk downstairs, the policeman is leaving.
 

‘What did he say?’ I ask.

She is quiet. It takes her a while before she answers.

‘They will investigate what's happened.’

‘Has anything been stolen from your bedroom?’

‘No,’ she says, but she doesn't look at me as she speaks. She’s staring at the sofa opposite. I don't really know why she is so calm.

‘All my pictures from Russia are gone; so are my letters and everything else in the drawer,’ I explain. She doesn't respond. I presume she’s in shock so I don’t say anything else.

The bell rings and I go to see who is at the door. It’s Dmitry. He looks concerned and asks if I am okay as he walks towards Mum to hug her. I walk back upstairs to try to understand why anyone would be interested in my personal belongings. I start to clean up the mess, mainly the bed, as I have to sleep somewhere tonight.
   

‘Leave it. I am taking you both to my house tonight,’ says Dmitry.

It’s strange to have some other man in my room apart from Gabriel.

Dmitry looks genuinely worried. ‘I’ll call the cleaners tomorrow to help you with this. Do you know what was taken?’

‘Memories from Russia and pictures,’ I answer.

‘Hmm. That's odd that someone would want to break in to take some letters,’ he states, staring at me.
 

‘I know.’

I think he feels slightly awkward being in my room because he clears his throat and tells me to meet him downstairs when I am finished. I leave my precious stuff, but I pick up the rest of the photos that are lying on the floor. Memories from my childhood are slowly coming back to me. I get this hunch that someone was desperately trying to find out my deepest secrets.

I can hardly sleep that night in Dmitry's house. I toss and turn hoping to see Gabriel, but he doesn't show up. In the back of my mind, I know that he can feel my grief, but still he chooses to ignore it. My life doesn't seem to get any better.

The next morning Dmitry makes a few phone calls and an army of cleaners rush to our house. Mum is impressed with his efficiency and I am glad that we don't have to take care of this mess. It is a two-bedroom house in a quite decent area of London. We are all asking ourselves the same question: why would anyone break in if they don't want to take anything?

In the afternoon we walk to the police station to find out if they have any more information, but they still haven't got any more than yesterday. It takes us all day to get the house in the same condition as it was before. Dmitry hired five cleaners and at the end of the day, we are able to sit down in the clean kitchen to have a cup of tea. Mum insists on paying him, but he refuses to take any money from her.

The events of the last twenty-four hours alert me that I have to be more careful. All my personal items that weren't stolen are in the drawer downstairs and I make a decision to take it all back with me to Swansea. I don't want to leave Mum alone, but I have to go back to Wales as the new term is starting tomorrow.

The next morning I wake up around five in the morning and leave the house feeling exhausted. I think about my tarot reading with Herne and remember that she said that I would be travelling and that I would lose something that I value the most. My calendar where I noted all my short meetings with Gabriel has been stolen. Without mentioning any names, I am sure that it won't be useful, but I believe that someone knew about those dates.
 

As I drive back to Swansea I feel deflated. The exams are over, and I have to throw myself into the new term and start thinking about the university newspaper. I must participate in the academic paper to gain the experience that I need. Times are tough and in order to find a job that I want it isn't enough to have a degree. I check my timetable for this semester, noticing that I have Civil War and French modules.

Gabriel is waiting for me as usual when I walk to the next class. I wonder if he knows what’s happened, or if he is even aware that I was away, but his expression is unreadable. My stomach churns slightly as he looks at me. I know sooner or later I will have to tell him what’s happened in London. I miss him so much but I know it's better this way. The campus feels too busy; everyone is rushing to get to the right class on time. I pretend that I don’t see any of the Sprites walking around the campus. The library is packed, so I forget the idea of going to get a few books that I need for French. I meet Amy for lunch and tell her everything that happened in London, but we don't have much privacy as her other friends join us. I call Mum after classes; she is at work but she says that everything is all right.

The days are passing by and I am slowly getting used to my new timetable and my new routine. Gabriel keeps away from my room, but he follows me everywhere like a shadow. I know that sooner or later he will show up in my room and I will want to know why he was away for so long. Rose is still around, gazing at Gabriel when he is close. She is usually with the company of a few other Sprites. For some reason, I feel that Gabriel keeps his distance from her when he is around me. Probably he is attempting to show me that he does care about my feelings.
 

Surprisingly, Richard arrives back on scene. He is back with Amy after weeks of absence. When I arrive home one day, he is in the living room cuddling with her. Amy looks embarrassed when she sees me but I don't say anything. I just pass them by and lock myself in my room. I avoid him as much as I can. I don't question Amy on why they are dating again and recently she has been avoiding me as well; I presume that it’s because she doesn’t want to talk about taking Richard back. After weeks of not seeing Gabriel, I can no longer take being apart from him. He is close to me but so far away at the same time.

The winter still doesn’t want to let the spring through. I wake up in the middle of the night in cold, harsh February, feeling thirsty. The room is chilly and I don't want to get up, but I have to get to the kitchen to get a drink. My throat is dry. I look at my phone and I realise that it is half past 3 in the morning – it’s the time when Gabriel used to visit me. I hear a movement in the corner of the room and I freeze. After a few seconds, I realise that the only person that I can expect is the man I love.

‘Ania,’ he whispers and my heart reacts instantly.

Gabriel appears, standing in front of me, and when my eyes get used to the darkness I gasp, locking my eyes on his silhouette.
 

‘What are you doing here?’ I ask with a shaky voice.

‘I needed to talk to you.’

I recognise his firm tone and his tall posture. I gaze at his body, remembering his touch. I switch on the small lamp on the side drawer. My heart is pounding and the electric current travels through my body. I don't know what to say. I have so many questions, but I don't know where to start. My anger fades away and I have to make this work and rein in my emotions.
 

‘Sit down,’ I whisper.

I am afraid that he will disappear again. He comes closer to me and crouches by me on the bed. My throat is dry and my body tenses. I dare to lift my eyes and look at him. He doesn’t say anything for a long time, but his blue eyes are full of lust again. I blush, wondering if he is feeling that familiar wave of electricity between us. After a few minutes, he lifts his stunning eyes and looks deeply into mine.

‘I want to share the nights with you and make an effort to get to know you. I can’t be apart from you any longer,’ he says, touching my cheek and I shiver, remembering his gentle, warm touch.

I open my mouth, but I am speechless. It takes me a while to adjust to what he’s just said. I don't believe that it’s really happening. My heart is beating so fast and I can sense that his breathing is harder than usual. The man I desire and nearly gave up on has just told me that he wants to be with me even if it doesn't make sense. I am angry – I want to tell him how much he hurt me by leaving me alone for all these weeks without any explanation. I wish that he could experience the pain in my heart. I want to tell him to leave, to humiliate him the same way he humiliated me, but my heart screams to me.
 

‘I can’t live without you. I have tried,’ I whisper, unable to move.

He is staring at me with his blue eyes and his hands slip into my hair.

‘I’m sorry,’ he says and drops his eyes.

I inhale his familiar scent, using all my senses to enjoy this moment. I planned this in my mind so differently. I wrap myself into his firm body and I can smell the rain in his tangled hair. In this moment, I am happy.

‘Gabriel, let's not talk about it anymore.’

‘I will try to make you happy,’ he begins. ‘I will be with you in the night.’

He reassures me that he wants to try to make this work. Maybe he has put aside his pride and followed his heart to make me happy. I am forbidden to him and I can't love him, but I choose to be with him.

‘Please don't. I know you keep saying that we don't have any future, but what would happen if you told others about me?’ I say.

I can feel his body tense instantly, but he doesn't respond. His eyes look strange. He is afraid.

‘I would have to die.’

‘Death for talking to me – for seeing me?’ I begin to question him again. ‘This is not human.’

‘We are not humans. The one that I am supposed to love is already chosen for me even if my soul belongs to someone else,’ he answers in a husky tone.
         

‘Gabriel, someone broke into my house in London. My mother's papers have been stolen. I had written dates of when I had met you, but wrote no names,’ I explain. ‘And remember that party where Amy was attacked? I met the French student that she was with and he told me that he saw someone in the garden that night.’

He arches his eyebrows slightly and he stares at the window. I can never guess what’s going through his mind.