The Wolf's Call (Two-Natured London) (11 page)

Charly’s freak-out was instant
and complete. “Get it off me, get it off,” she shrieked, ineffectually swatting
at the translucent wolf that had suddenly surged out of her chest. She tried to
back away from it but the thing kept coming with her. Her back hit the
headboard of the bed and she couldn’t go further. Panic hit her and she began
to sweat. She was trapped.

“Calm
down,” Rafe said, but she heard his voice as if through a metal tube, distant
and thin. She began to thrash, trying to get the bedspread that was tangled
around her legs off so that she could flee, but it was stuck. She started to hyperventilate.

“Calm
down.”

This
time Rafe’s command had a physical effect on her. It was as if he was able to
influence her with his mere voice; she had no choice but to obey. He wrapped
strong arms around her, pulling her against his warm chest, holding her so
tightly she couldn’t move. Unlike only a moment ago, it didn’t make her feel
trapped, it made her feel safe. She held her eyes closed tightly, not wanting
to see the invader, fearing that the sight would cause her panic again.

He
held her a long time, long after her breathing had steadied and her heart rate
had returned to normal. He only eased his hold a bit so that she could lean
more comfortably against him. He stroked her back slowly, murmuring calming
words to her ear as if to a child – or an animal.

Tears
started to fall down her face at the thought. First, only one or two, but soon
she was crying in earnest, every pent-up emotion draining from her in big
convulsive sobs. Still, he held her.

She
couldn’t remember the last time she had cried like this. Had she ever cried?
Always in control of all her emotions, that’s what she had to be. She had
forgotten her rule and here she was, sobbing her heart out against the bare
chest of the most wonderful man she had ever met.

Forcing
her crying to cease, she took a deep breath and pulled away from Rafe’s
embrace. She felt cold without his arms around her, but she needed to make sure
she was back in control, for him and for herself. There was a box of tissues on
his nightstand and she reached for a wad of them and dried her eyes and blew
her nose. She didn’t want to look at Rafe. What must he think of her?

“You
fared better than I expected,” Rafe said calmly when she wouldn’t speak.

That
wasn’t anything she had expected him to say. “What?”

“You
gave me to understand that there would be severe consequences if you lost
control,” he said, almost admonishing, “but you came to heel pretty easily.”

She
risked a glance at him and saw him smile smugly for having managed to make her
look. “What are you talking about? Surely a man doesn’t want a woman to have a
meltdown right after making love to her….”

His
smiled deepened and got more self-satisfied, but he had earned it. He had been
amazing. “You surrendered your rigid control just fine in bed and nothing bad
happened.” She definitely had, with absolutely no fear, and she had been
rewarded with the most incredible orgasm of her life – the first proper one
with a man, thanks to her inability to let herself go before. “And when you did
lose it, you obeyed your alpha perfectly and calmed down.”

“My
what?” she shrieked appalled.

He
leaned towards her, a teasing glint in his blue eyes. “That’s right, lady. You
recognise me as your superior.”

The
hell she did. Her face probably betrayed her indignant anger, because he started
laughing. “Welcome to the world of shifters.”

She
sighed and dropped onto her back on the bed, pulling the bedspread over her to
cover her nakedness. He settled next to her, lying on his side, his head
propped against his hand. He didn’t mind being naked. Yet another way in which
shifters differed from humans. He had shed his clothes back at the field easily
too before shifting. Was she expected to manage the same? And was she expected
to submit to some wolf hierarchy, bowing to every man simply because he was
physically stronger? She wouldn’t scrape to her father or her boss, and she
most definitely wouldn’t scrape to anyone who didn’t deserve it.

“I’m
no one’s inferior.”

“No,
you’re not,” Rafe stated with such assurance that she felt instantly better. “You’re
a very dominant female. That’s what attracted me to you in the first place.”
His words made her heart skip a beat. “But your wolf has to prove it to others
too, should you choose to free it.”

“So
women have a prominent place in your hierarchy?” She preferred the idea of
equality, but obviously shifters depended on someone stronger controlling them
when needed. She herself had just now.

“Absolutely,
although dominant women with an alpha streak like you are rare. Only my niece
is that strong around here.”

She
nodded, assuming that any child of Jamie’s would be strong. Then she noticed
something. “Where did the wolf go?” Could she hope?

“I
forced it back inside you. It was freaking you out. But you should let it out
so that you can get to know it.”

“What
is it then?”

“The
aura is a smaller replica of a shifter’s beast, an expression of our second
nature, an independent yet integral part of him or her. We all have one.”

“Where’s
yours?”

“It’s
hiding within me too. It’s best you meet only one wolf at a time. Is it
communicating with you?”

She
had no idea. She focused her mind and noticed an influx of sounds and
especially scents that had been only a background noise while she had her
meltdown. They were incredibly intense, and had probably contributed to her
panic attack, but with a little concentration, she was able to discern between
them. Rafe, especially, smelled mouth-wateringly good, his bare chest only
inches from her face, but even unpleasant scents like sweat felt intriguing.
What was truly curious was that none of it was causing her to have a migraine.

“You’ve
had a shifter’s sensitivity to scents, but you haven’t been able to process
them properly,” Rafe explained when she noted it aloud. If it was true, it was
definitely a point for exploring this further. “It’s the wolf that recognises
the things that you sense.”

Okay,
time to jump off the cliff. “So how do I get it out?”

“Are
you sure you want it?” He looked worried so she gave it a proper thought. She
could actually sense that there was a sentient being sharing her consciousness
now. It was a bit incoherent still, but she understood what it wanted
perfectly.

“It
wants out.”

“Then
just relax. It’s easier to let it out than to force it to stay in. And don’t
worry. I’ll put it back if it freaks you out again.”

She
had barely thought to relax when the aura surged out again. She didn’t freak
out, but she still stared at it uneasily. “I feel like my body’s been invaded
by an alien.”

Rafe
laughed happily. “Sometimes the beast can make you feel like you’re the alien.”

She
watched her wolf curiously as it studied its surroundings with distracting
eagerness, conveying everything to her in an influx of thoughts and emotions.
It had definitely wanted out. Knowing that it was its own entity, she could
understand how it felt for having been incarcerated for decades. She felt
everything it felt.

“It’s
a bit overwhelming.”

Rafe
smiled reassuringly. “You’ll learn to keep its thoughts and emotions from
becoming too dominant.”

She
tried to process everything the wolf fed back to her, its delight, its anger,
its eagerness. Rafe hadn’t lied when he said they were creatures of emotions,
but she wasn’t sure she had the tools for handling them. No wonder he allowed
his wolf to dictate who he loved.

After
a while, the wolf calmed down enough for her to start her own observations. Its
fur looked soft and it was black like her hair. Its eyes were black too, shiny
buttons with which it studied the world with an incredibly intelligent look in
them.

“I
didn’t know they were this intelligent,” she noted.

“It’s
not human intelligence, but it has its own way of reasoning. And if yours is
half as stubborn as mine, you definitely have to reason with it.”

“How?”

“Once
it calms down a bit, you realise you can talk with it in your mind. A bit like
telepathy, but within your own head.”

It
sounded intriguing. She reached out to touch the wolf’s nose, a little over a
foot from her chest, and it snapped playfully at her fingers. In their
holographic form, they passed right through, but she snatched her hand away
anyway. Then she realised how silly that was and touched it again. It seemed to
like that.

She
sensed its joy for being free, a disconcerting feeling, as it translated to her
joy. “I think it’s trying to tell me that it’s been aware of everything through
me, but it just hasn’t been able to communicate back.” There was a familiarity
to it too. “And I think I kind of remember it. Do little children have auras
before they are able to shift?”

“Yes,
little cubs. That’s how we know. How old were you when it was blocked?” He
asked it casually, but she sensed his anger none the same. Was the wolf helping
her with that?

She
put her hand on his chest to calm him and he pressed his palm over it, holding
it fast against his steadily beating heart. “I was three or four, I think. My
parents convinced me it had only been an imaginary friend.” She suddenly
remembered how desolate she had been for losing it. How could they do this to
her and not even tell her about it afterwards? It would serve them right if she
learned how to shift and did so in front of their friends. But even as she
thought it she knew she wouldn’t do it. She wasn’t sure she would even bring it
up with them. They didn’t deserve to know how she felt.

“So
how is it that my wolf is all grown up?” she asked, trying to banish unpleasant
thoughts.

He
understood how she felt and he pulled her against his chest. She feared the
wolf would crush, but it only surged out from her side to her amazement. “It’s
grown with you. You are old enough for it.” She hoped that it wouldn’t be a
problem if she chose to release the wolf properly. She hadn’t made up her mind
about it, although her wolf held it self-evident that she would. It was odd to
have someone else thinking in her mind.

“Can I
see yours now?” she asked, saucily, making Rafe laugh. He sat up and a moment
later a beautiful light grey wolf with startlingly blue eyes appeared on his
chest. It surged forward, eager to get to know her wolf.

Her
wolf studied his closely. “I think my wolf likes your wolf,” she laughed,
watching the auras sniff each other.

“Oh,
I absolutely know my wolf likes yours,” Rafe murmured in a low voice, and when
she lifted her gaze to him, he was staring at her, dazed.

Raphael had thought he knew
what the wolf’s call meant. Turned out he had had no idea. No bloody idea at
all. The emotion that took over him the moment his wolf met Charly’s was so
overwhelming, so complete, that he couldn’t comprehend it. He could only ride
the crest of it, hoping that it would settle before he freaked out Charly
again.

Studying
Charly as she studied their wolves, he tried to make sense of this new
certainty that had taken over him. He had already made up his mind to keep her,
whether she accepted her wolf or not, although seeing her with her wolf made him
really want her to choose the life as a shifter; but he wouldn’t pressure her.
Even though he was not a romantic man, he knew the decision was based on love.
He hadn’t thought it was possible to fall in love with someone in only three
days, but it had happened. He was displaying all the classic symptoms: his
heartbeat quickened whenever she was near; he was planning their future
together on her terms; he was unable to imagine a world where she wouldn’t be
by his side….

The
call took that fledgling love instantly to another level, from stargazing to a
certainty that their relationship would work through thick and thin. That was
the overwhelming part. There was no wavering, no second-guessing or need to put
on brakes just in case they were advancing too fast. As far as he was
concerned, the rest of their lives could start right now.

But as
Rafe watched Charly, he realised she wasn’t feeling the same. She wasn’t
feeling the call. He tried to calm the panic the notion caused by reasoning
that she was only getting to know her wolf and couldn’t yet discern everything
it conveyed to her, but it was extremely hard. All he wanted to do was pull her
into his arms and never let her go. Stepping back and giving her time to figure
everything out wasn’t exactly in his wolf’s interests either, but that’s what
they had to do.

“So,
are you feeling adventurous?”

Charly
stopped studying her wolf long enough to glance at him and he felt a tinge of
jealousy for being second place in her mind. “What do you have in mind?” Her
smile was saucy enough to make him contemplate a change in his plans, but she
needed other things more than sex.

“The
full moon feast is in full swing out in the park. What better chance to study
shifters as they are?” Even as he said it he realised he didn’t want others
near her, especially other males, but he managed to ignore that emotion as
well. She needed this.

She
hesitated. “What if I freak out again?”

“You
won’t,” he said, with his most reassuring voice. “We already established that
your wolf reacts to me as it should, and Jamie is even stronger. I’ll be with
you the whole time. Nothing bad will happen. And besides, everyone is used to
new wolves, even if they are usually cubs. They won’t think badly of you even
if you do lose it a bit.”

He saw
her inner struggle and understood the cause as well. She was used to being in
control; the thought of losing it in front of witnesses frightened her. But she
was strong and she nodded, making his heart swell in pride.

Half
an hour – and a long shower with arousing studying of each other’s bodies –
later, they entered the park and headed straight towards the long tables laden
with food to collect heaping plates for themselves. “I’m starving for some
reason,” Charly confessed, laughing.

“Shifters
burn much more energy than humans,” he explained, adding another piece of
chicken to her plate despite her protests. She was too thin as it was, and with
her body now using much more energy as the wolf took its share, she might waste
away if he didn’t take care of her.

The
most riotous part of the feast, the shifting, was already over. Only the cubs
remained in wolf form, running around the large park and the surrounding woods,
unwilling to shift back. Their joyous behaviour was a far cry from the sulky
teenagers most of them were in human form, and along with the children who were
still unable to shift, they formed a boisterous group. Rafe and Charly paused
to watch their antics, laughing when they managed to steal food from someone’s
plate. Then Jamie approached them. He was Rafe’s alpha and the only male
stronger than him, so his wolf instantly considered him the biggest threat to
his claim of Charly. Not since his youth had he felt so great a need to lash
out and attack his brother. If Charly hadn’t been standing so close to him,
calming him with her presence, he might have acted on the impulse.

Jamie
recognised the signs and didn’t come too close. But even the smile he gave
Charly made Rafe growl, earning him an admonishing glance from her. “Welcome to
Greenwood clan, Charlotte. I hope you’ll consider us your clan whether you
choose to unblock your wolf or not. You’ll always have a place here.”

She
seemed touched by his words and she nodded, unable to speak. Rafe placed his
free hand on her shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. “No one here will force
you to unblock the wolf. We might want you to be one of us, but we also know it
won’t be easy. But we’re here for you.”

Now
she had tears in her eyes. They caused wolf and man so much distress that he
had to lean over and kiss them away. She gave him a watery smile. “I never used
to cry this much before.”

“The
emotions will settle soon enough. Your wolf has three decades worth of them
bottled up.”

Nate,
Ken, and Kieran, the unmated males Charly had met earlier, approached them
next, but Rafe didn’t allow them near, halting them with a snarl. They greeted
her from afar, welcoming her. Rafe could see they wanted to tease him about
her, but they wisely kept their words to themselves. There would be time enough
for good-natured bantering at his expense when he wasn’t so on edge.

But he
couldn’t lock Charly up, and if she were to become one of them, she would have
to know about them. She was staring at all the auras in wonder, all of them
different, like their human hosts, clearly eager to study them closer. So he
steered her towards the mated females, judging them to be the most harmless of
the lot.

The
women were all very nice to Charly, giving her a warm welcome, but their auras
had ideas of their own. Charly’s wolf might have been newly released, but it
was exactly as dominant as Rafe had thought, and all their females were
submissive. Charly stared in dismay as her wolf snapped its teeth at every wolf
they met, trying to establish its superiority to them and succeeding. “I’m
usually much better behaved,” she said, aghast, after her wolf had nipped yet
another wolf on its muzzle, causing the other wolf to retreat.

“Don’t worry,” Helen, the middle-aged woman thus treated
said, smiling. “We’re all born to wolf hierarchy. We’re used to this. Once your
wolf has found its place, it’ll behave better.” It took some more convincing
from her and the other women before Charly was able to relax. Their
good-natured calmness was exactly what she needed, and little by little her
wolf settled down too. Rafe smiled at Helen warmly, pleased that everything was
going so well. And then the trouble came calling.

Charly noticed Rafe tense
briefly, and then he moved to meet a leggy blonde in tight leather pants and a
very low-cut top who had just hailed him from across the yard. Shrieking in
delight, the woman rushed to him and wrapped herself around him, pressing her
ample breasts tightly against his chest, and the bastard hugged her back.

Charly
had never been particularly jealous in her relationships, but now a deep rage
surged through her, as uncontrollable as all her other emotions since Rafe had
come into her life. If she had doubted her feelings towards him, there was no
second guessing anymore, her possessiveness was so all-encompassing. Woman and
wolf both agreed that he belonged to them and they didn’t share.

Ours.

A
growl rose from deep inside her, much lower than her normal voice, but the
sound was so natural it didn’t even startle her. She just walked to the
embracing pair. Her wolf surged forward in her chest, urging her to attack the
intruder, and that was exactly what she did the moment the bitch unwrapped
herself from Rafe.

Or at
least her wolf did, the human half being a bit more civilized. It bit its
holographic teeth tightly into the other wolf’s muzzle, taking it by surprise.
Earlier, her wolf had put other wolves to their places with mere nips, so
Charly was satisfied, expecting the bitch to keel too.

It
didn’t happen.

“What
the hell?”

The
blonde’s white wolf with amber eyes didn’t wait for her, but attacked, trying
to take Charly’s wolf by its throat. And the woman wasn’t far behind. A second
later, both of her hands shifted to paws and she charged at Charly too.

The
two women were surprisingly similarly built and equally tall, but the lean
muscles in the stranger’s arms indicated far greater strength than what Charly
possessed, even without paws giving her the advantage. But Charly was beyond
caring how much she might hurt. She had to get rid of the interloper.

Only,
the fight never happened. Before the bitch had so much as swiped her paws at
Charly, Rafe had thrown himself between them, breaking up the fight between
the wolves as well. “Enough,” he commanded sharply, his voice laden with such
power that the wolves flinched and retreated. The other woman pressed her head
down too, but only for a moment.

“The
bitch attacked me,” she growled, her eyes full of menace.

“I.
Said. Enough.” This time his low command froze both women. He waited a moment
to make sure he was being obeyed, taking in the wolves’ submissive stances.
Then he turned to Charly and pulled her to him, wrapping his arm around her.
She leaned against him, glad for the show of support. Her wolf believed they
had won.

“Charly,
please meet my niece, Harriet, Jamie’s daughter. Harry, this is Charlotte
Thornton, my mate.”

The
mysterious Harry froze for a heartbeat. Then her face melted into a smile that
made her look a more delicate version of Jamie with long, wheat-blonde hair.
Not that it was easy for Charly to believe they were father and daughter, even
knowing how old Jamie was, because Harry looked to be her own age and Jamie
seemed about forty.

But
she got even more bewildered when Harry pulled her into a hug, the change in
her demeanour complete. “Welcome to the family.”

Charly
stiffened for a heartbeat before relaxing into Harry’s embrace. This was going
too fast. It was one thing to be welcomed to the clan, but that Harry would
assume Charly was family was too much. As if guessing she was about to baulk,
or fearing she would freak out again, Rafe tightened his hold of her. To the
outsiders it probably seemed like a warm embrace between lovers, but Charly
knew he couldn’t possibly have meant his words. He would have said something to
her in private in that case. He had only made his claim to diffuse the tense
situation.

She
didn’t want to embarrass him in front of his family and friends, however, so
she just smiled and accepted the felicitations other clan members were offering
them. Rafe accepted their well-wishes with pride, as if things were progressing
in the usual fashion. Charly’s wolf didn’t question his announcement either.

But
the human who was used to making decisions concerning her life found this to be
overwhelming. A bit surreal even. Here she was with a man she barely knew, who
claimed he would keep her for the rest of her life, without asking her opinion
about it, and with a new entity inside her that seemed to agree with him. She
felt like an outsider in her own life all of a sudden.

The
sense of detachment followed her the rest of the night. Her face smiled and her
mouth said nice things to people, and once her wolf calmed down she dared to
approach people on her own even. But all the while she felt like it was someone
else doing these things. She didn’t recognise herself anymore.

It
wasn’t until the night was turning to morning that the feast dwindled down,
children having left earlier, and everyone retired to bed. Rafe took her hand
and led her to his bedroom, as if she belonged there. Part of her knew she did,
his hand feeling perfect in hers, but she halted him at the door nonetheless.

“I
don’t think I can do this,” she said, tiredness making her voice more curt than
she intended.

Rafe
looked hurt and a bit angry too, but he nodded. “I understand you need to
process everything on your own. You can have all the time you need. But you
will sleep in my room. I’ll find another place.”

She
wanted to tell him he could stay in his room as long as he didn’t expect
anything from her, but she was too tired so she just nodded and disappeared
into the bathroom. When she emerged again, he was gone. She spent the rest of
the night tossing and turning, arguing with her wolf who told her that driving
their mate away was the biggest mistake of her life.

The
human was beginning to agree.