The year of the virgins (3 page)

Her body began to shake, her head moving backwards and forwards on his shoulder, and, although laughing himself but silently, he said, 'Shh! Shh! You let that laugh of yours rip and they'll be taking the stairs three at a time.'

Her eyes were wet as she looked into his, and she had to swallow deeply, saying, 'I promised faithfully we would go to Vatican City and to Mass every morning . . . both of us.'

'You didn't!'

'I did.'

'Oh, why didn't you tell her we'd be cuddling in bed until twelve?'

She giggled and hugged him as she said, 'Oh, Don.'

'Listen' - he pressed her gently from him - 'there's someone coming. I'll go next door and see if Stephen's asleep and you make for the door.' But as he went to move away from her he suddenly stopped and, putting

his arm swiftly around her waist, he said, 'No! by God, no! We'll do no such thing. Come on. There's a limit, and if I'd had any sense I'd have reached it a long time ago.'

But when they reached the door, defiance expressed in their faces, it was Joe who confronted them, saying quietly, 'I'm ahead of the search party. Come on you two, there's departures in the offing. They're all in the morning-room looking at the presents, but conversation has been forced.' He now asked of Annette, 'Was there a battle?' And she, shaking her head said, 'No, I left to leave the way open for more condemnation of Maria Tollett, which I imagined would be opposed by Mrs Preston because she's a close friend of theirs.'

'O ... oh! I see. But look' - he nodded at them - 'take my advice and get that look off your faces, and don't go down entwined like that because there's been a fire smouldering all day and we don't want a conflagration, do we?'

As they laughed he pushed them both before him. And when Don said, 'Come Saturday. Come Saturday,' and Annette added, 'Amen! Amen!' they would have been surprised to know that big Joe, their friend and ally, was longing for Saturday equally as much as they were, if not more.

It was just on eleven o'clock. The house was quiet. Winifred had retired to her room. Joe and Stephen were also upstairs. Lily had gone down to the lodge half an hour before, and Peggie had just said goodnight to him as she made her way to her attic room. There was only Maggie in the kitchen and he knew he'd be welcome there, and he needed that welcome. Oh, how he needed that welcome. But he couldn't take it, for his mind was in a turmoil: if he encouraged that, where would it end? The situation

in the house would become unbearable, for he wasn't a great hand at hiding his feelings.

He wasn't feeling tired. He never felt tired at night; it was always in the morning when he had to get out of bed that he felt tired.

He went into the cloakroom and took a coat from a peg and, having put it on, he went quietly from the house and on to the drive. There was an autumn nip in the air; the long dark nights would soon be upon them. And this description, he thought, had been very like his life, one long dark night. But now a fire had been lit and he longed to warm himself at it. Yet in some odd way he was feeling ashamed of his need of it.

He walked slowly down the drive. He could see, in the distance, that the gate-lights were still on. That meant Bill and Lily hadn't yet retired.

He was near the lodge when the side gate opened and Bill White stepped out, paused, then said, 'You gave me a bit of a gliff, sir.'

'Just getting a breather before turning in, Bill.'

'Your company went early.'

'Yes; yes, they did the night. It's nippy, isn't it? We'll soon have winter on us.'

'Aye, we will that, sir. I like winter meself, I'm partial to it: me feet on the fender, me pipe, and a book. I can never settle down like that in the summer somehow.'

'No; no, I can see that. There's things to be said for all seasons, I suppose.'

Bill was walking by his side now towards the open iron gates where, poised high on top of each of the two stone pillars, glowed an electric lamp, topped by a wrought-iron shade that sent the light spraying far into the middle of the road. They both stopped within the line of the gates, and

there was silence between them until Bill, in a voice scarcely above a whisper, said, 'I had to drive up Dale Street the day, sir.'

Daniel remained motionless for a moment; then slowly he turned his head and looked at the face now confronting his, and asked quietly, 'Do you often drive up Dale Street, Bill?'

'Twice before; but I never twigged then.'

'When was this? I mean, when you drove up before?'

'Last week, twice.'

'Is this just something new? You . . . you haven't been ordered anywhere else?'

'Something new, sir, although I've been questioned.'

Daniel gazed across the road towards the open farmland that the gate-lights just touched on, and he thought, Will she ever let up? And what a situation for this man at his side having to obey the mistress's whims while bearing allegiance to the master. His voice was thick as he muttered, 'Thanks, Bill.'

'Any time, sir.'

It was as he was about to turn and go back up the drive that a car made itself heard by its approaching rattle. He knew the sound of that car, and as it slowed opposite the gates he walked towards it, and when it stopped with a jerk he bent down and said, 'Why are you out at this time of the night, Father?'

'Oh, business, as usual. Had company?' He pointed towards the lights.

'Yes, they've all gone. Care to come in for a drink?'

'Now since you've asked me, I think I would. A few minutes ago, all I wanted was me bed. So hop in!'

Daniel turned now and shouted to Bill, 'Don't wait up, Bill. I'll see to the lights. Good-night.'

As the man called, 'Good-night, sir,' Daniel got into the car and asked of the priest, 'Where've you been to at this time of night?'

'Oh, at Tommy Kilbride's.'

'Not again! He's a hypochondriac, that fellow.'

'He was, but not this time. He doesn't know it, but he's for the hop, skip, and jump all right, and within the next couple of days or so. And you can believe me there'll not be a more surprised man when he finds himself dead. I bet he says, "Look, it's all a mistake; it's all in me mind. It's a fact; they've been sayin' it to me for years. Let me go back." And you know something? Life's funny in the tricks it plays on a man: he's imagined he's had every disease under the sun except the one that's crept on him unawares. I'm sorry for him, I am that, but he's brought it on himself; I mean the surprise he's going to get.'

'Oh, Father.' Daniel was laughing now. T bet you are wishing you could be there to see his face when he arrives. And by the way, it'll be yourself that'll be arriving and very shortly if you don't get rid of this old boneshaker.'

'I've no intention of gettin' rid of Rosie, so please don't insult her; she's a friend. Would you propose gettin' rid of all those elderly ladies with ageing bones who creak in every joint? Anyway, you've had a party or some such tonight; how did it go?'

'Oh, as usual.'

'You'll be glad when Saturday comes and is gone.'

'You've never said a truer word, Father. I certainly will that. And look, don't take . . . Rosie right to the door, else you'll have windows popping up and enquiries as to what's causing the rattle.'

A few minutes later they were both ensconced in the library. Daniel had put the bellows to the fire and it was

blazing brightly, and on a table between the chairs was a decanter of whisky and a bottle of brandy, two glasses and a jug of water.

Pointing to the bottle, Daniel said, 'I thought you might like to try this. I know brandy isn't your drink but this is something special. I had it given to me by an old customer. It's all of forty or fifty years old; it's like elixir on the tongue. I've never tasted anything to equal it before.' He now poured a good measure into the glass and handed it to the priest. And he, sipping at it, rolled it round his mouth, swallowed, then, arching his eyebrows, he said, 'Yes. My! as you say, elixir on the tongue. But still, I think I'll stick to me whisky because I wouldn't like to get a taste for this kind of thing; you might have me robbin' the poor box . . .' He lay back into the deep chair, saying quietly, 'Ah! This is nice. It's a beautiful house, you know, this. I remember coming into it first during the week that I arrived in Fellburn. The Blackburns were wooden Catholics, so to speak, and as such were never free with the bottle. A cup of tea, or a cup of coffee, and that watery, that's what you were offered. Of course they were living from hand to mouth at the time: it takes a lot of money to keep up appearances, you know, especially when you like horses.'

'You're telling me, Father, even without the horses.'

'Oh, aye.' The priest put his hand out and pushed Daniel's shoulder. 'I'm tellin' you. Anyway, how's life? Your life.'

'As bad as it could be, Father.'

'As bad as that? Well, open up.'

'Oh, you don't want a confession here the night; at least, not after being with old Tommy. And you must have listened to many the day.'

'I'm always open to confessions. But it needn't be a

confession, just a quiet crack. What's bothering you, apart from all the other things I know of ? Anyway, you haven't been to confession for some weeks, have you?'

Daniel took up his usual stance when troubled, his body bent, his elbows on his knees, his hands gripped together, and he stared into the fire as he quietly said, 'I've taken up with a woman.'

'Oh God in heaven! man, tell me something I don't know.'

Daniel now turned towards the priest, saying, 'Not that kind.'

'What other kind is there that you can take up with?'

'There are some good women, Father.'

'Are you aiming, Daniel, to teach a sixty-four-year-old priest the facts of life? What you seem to forget, and many more like you, is that we are men and that some of us weren't always priests. Meself, for instance, I never came into the racket until I was twenty-five.'

'Then why did you - ' and a small smile appeared on Daniel's face now as he added, 'if you knew so much?'

'Because He wouldn't let me alone.' Father Ramshaw's eyes almost disappeared under the upper lids as he looked towards the ceiling. T nearly got married when I was twenty, but He put His spoke in there. The girl's father wanted to knock me brains out and her brother threatened to break me legs if I ran away. But run I did. And, candidly, I've been doing that inside me head ever since. Well, perhaps not so much these latter years. Yet at one time, and that's not so long ago, here was somebody frightened to go to confession to the Bishop because I was brought up to believe that you sin by thought as much as by deed. But of course you don't get as much satisfaction out of the former as you do out of the latter.'

As Daniel now threw himself back into the chair, his body shaking with laughter, he said, 'Father, I don't believe a word you say.'

'That's the trouble, nobody does. They always think I'm joking; but you know the saying, There's many a true word spoken in jest. And all my jokes have a broad streak of truth in them. You can take it from me what I've just imparted to you is God's honest truth. Anyway, who's this decent woman that you're worrying about? Do I know her?'

A few seconds passed before Daniel said, "Tis Maggie.'

'Ob no! not Maggie.'

'Yes, Father. Now you see what I mean.'

'Ah well, it had to come.'

'What do you mean?' Daniel now shifted round on the couch and looked at the priest who was staring towards the fire.

'Just that. She's been for you all these years. Why do you think she's stuck here? and stuck Winifred? Because, let me tell you, it's bad enough for a man to have to put up with a woman, but for a woman to have to put up with a woman is, I should imagine, much worse, and with such a woman as Winifred. God Himself doesn't demand such devotion. And devotion of this kind is a sort of sickness, and there's a number around these quarters that's got the smit. Now, between you and me, and as if you didn't know it, Annette's mother is another one. As for her father, he's bordering on religious mania. There's moderation in all things. And you know Daniel, we've got a lot of faults, we Catholics. Oh dear God! we have that. And the main one, as I've always seen it, is to imagine that we are the sole chosen of the Almighty. Now if we could only get that out of our heads we'd be the perfect religion. But there, I could be excommunicated for voicing such an opinion, because

on the other hand there's not a more lenient or tolerant sect. Which other lot would give you leave to get drunk on your Friday night's pay, batter the wife, then arrive at confession on the Saturday night, then take Communion on the Sunday morning, before making for the club for a skinful? I tell you, we are the most tolerant of God's creatures and so we don't go in for extremes.'

'It's a pity then, Father, you couldn't have put over that point of view to Winnie some years ago.'

'Oh, me boy! I did. And I keep at it to this day, and with others of her kin. But do they take any notice? No. They would rather listen to Father Cody spouting his hellfire. Oh, believe me, Daniel, there's more thorns in the flesh than women. Why on earth did they send that young man to me? Now why am I asking the road I know? Things want tightening up around Fellburn. That's what was said in high quarters. People were forgetting there was a hell, at least that old fool Father Ramshaw had forgotten. Instead of folks being sat on hot gridirons minus their pants, that old fool was proposing a sort of nice waiting-room where the patients could just wait and think and ponder on their past life and be sorry for their misdeeds, sins, if you like; the worst, which I've always stated in plain language from the pulpit, as you know, being unkindness to one another . . . But to get back to Maggie: how did this come about after all this long time?'

Daniel again brought his body forward, and his voice low now, he said, Tt was quite simple; it seemed to be all set up. It was her day off. I gave her a lift into town. Strange, but it was the first time she'd ever been in the car with me; I mean, alone. Years ago, when she used to take Stephen out on her day off, I would drop them at her cousin's. And there we were this day, and she invited me to go in with them.