There's a Spaceship in My Tree! (5 page)

7
Life in the Toilet

Beamer was in the bathroom when he heard the door open and Jared's laugh. One heartbeat later, Beamer was hiding in the handicapped stall, perched on top of the toilet seat.

“Yeah,” Slocum bragged, “that Henderson guy took one look at this fist and emptied his pockets into my hand.” He laughed like a hyena.

“Slocum, you taken care of the seventh graders?” asked Jeffries.

“Most of 'em,” Slocum answered. “Haven't seen that new kid though. Hey, I heard he's the dork who moved into that place on Murphy Street.”

“D'ya mean the one with — ” Jared started.

“I'd like to be there when he tries climbing up to it,” Jeffries chortled.

“In the meantime, find him,” Jared ordered. “If he's not out sick, he's gonna be.”

“Yeah,” Slocum added with another hyena laugh, “he looked pretty sick after our little talk on Monday.”

“My nose is bleedin'!” Jared yelped suddenly. “Jeffries, get me some toilet paper, quick!”

The boy bolted for one of the stalls. Unfortunately, it was the one where Beamer was hiding.

It's amazing how many things can go through your mind when you're a split second away from total annihilation. Beamer saw the latch turn. There was no place to go! Soon he would be history. No, he wasn't old enough for history — the evening paper, maybe. It'd be kind of a short obituary. He hoped his mom wouldn't give them his sixth-grade picture.
The toilet — what a way to go.

The door swung open. Beamer, who at the last second had leaped onto the door coat hook, was slammed into the stall wall. “Oof!” he gasped, the blow knocking the air out of him. Jeffries ripped off the paper in a flash and was back outside, never noticing the kid hanging there like a side of beef. Beamer sighed in relief and stepped back onto the seat.

“Here you go, dude,” Jeffries said, handing the paper to Jared.

Jared stuffed it up his nose and tilted his head back. “Hey, get some more and put some cold water on it.”

Beamer braced himself and leaped back on the coat hook as the steps approached.

“No, you jerk!” Jared ordered, “a paper towel this time. That other stuff falls apart.”

The footsteps changed direction and Beamer sighed in relief. He heard water from the faucet.

Jared dabbed at his nose a minute, then turned around. “How's it look, Slocum?”

“Pretty good,” he said, looking up Jared's nostril as if it were a periscope. “I think it's stopped.”

“Ya
think
so?” Jared flared. “I don't need
thinking
. I don't want nobody to think somebody got to me. Come on,” he said to his minions. He tossed the crumpled paper towel over his shoulder and walked out. The paper wad arched over the stall door and bounced off Beamer's head. When Beamer finally heard the door shut, he let his breath out and slid to the floor like melting candle wax.

*   *   *   *   *

Beamer picked up Michael from the nearby after-school daycare center, and they set off toward home along one of many beaten paths through the park. While Michael chattered away about the social ills of the fourth grade, Beamer kept an eye out for Jared and company. They came out into a broad clearing. For awhile they were able to hug close to the tree line. Finally, though, the forest twisted right and the way home meant that they had to launch out across the clearing.

“Wait a minute,” Beamer said, stopping to make one last check.

“What for?” Michael asked.

“Nothin'.” Beamer finished his survey. “Okay, let's go.”

Then, less than fifty steps into the clearing, they heard a shrill screech. Beamer's head whipped around. A boy erupted from another forest path about half a football field away. The long, skinny legs that knocked with each stride told Beamer it was probably Ghoulie. He was running full tilt, school papers streaming out behind him like confetti.

A moment later three other boys blew out of the same opening in hot pursuit.

Beamer's eyes popped wide. It was Jared and his clones out for the kill. “Run, Michael!” Beamer shouted to his brother, pushing him ahead.

“Hey!” Michael protested. “Stop shovin' . . .”

“Move it! I haven't got time to argue. It's life and death!!”

They broke into a run as Ghoulie streaked by. “What happened?” Beamer yelled.

“I lost my contribution,” he said between gasps.

“Okay,
he's
in trouble,” said Michael, breathing heavily. “So why are
we
running?”

“Because if those guys recognize me, you'll be a witness to my execution and dead meat too.”

Michael's stubby legs shifted into overdrive. A moment later the fugitive trio plunged into the middle of a football game, turning a long punt return into a messy four-way fumble. Shouts and shrieks erupted on every side.

There was no time for “Sorrys.” For that matter, Jared's troops were already giving the football team an instant replay.

Dead ahead was the park's museum surrounded by flowers and hedges. With no time for a detour, the threesome launched like awkward hurdlers over the first hedge. More of Ghoulie's papers fluttered away. Two hedges later Michael took a tumble. Beamer skidded to a halt and yanked him back up.

All three were exactly in step for the fifth hedgerow. Unfortunately, a trio of very proper middle-aged ladies stepped through a rosebush arbor right in front of them. It was not a pretty sight. The boys mowed them down like cornstalks. Actually, they didn't touch them, but the surprise was enough. The ladies recoiled — one of them backward over a side hedge, another into a bed of pansies, while the third splashed into a fountain pool.

Beamer looked behind to see Jared's head pop into view as he cleared the first hedge. With one hedge to go, the timed sprinkler system came to their rescue.

There was a yelp, and then — Phzzz! Plopp! Splatt! — their pursuers landed in a muddy skid, splattering even more yuck over the poor women.

By the time Jared's mud wamps wrestled their way out of the bog, Beamer and his crew had gained several precious seconds.

As the seventh-grade brain trust, Ghoulie quickly calculated speed, trajectory, and the distance home, factoring in approximate leg length and muscle development. He concluded, “We don't have a chance!”

To their left was the brick wall that skirted the side of the park. Murphy Street was the next block over, but to get there they had to go around the wall by way of the gate on Parkview Court.

Just then they heard a shout. It was Scilla scampering on an intercept course. “Hey! Y'all follow me!” she shouted, cocking her head toward the wall.

“Where?” Beamer gasped between gulps of breath as they veered after her.

“Just trust me,” she fired back at him.

That was easier said than done. Jared's attack force was bearing down on them. And where was Scilla leading them? Straight into a ten-foot-high wall!

Winding through a maze of trees and bushes, Scilla suddenly dived between two humongous flowering bushes. Brushing leaves and flower petals from their eyes, her three followers found themselves staring at the wall. This was
not
a good moment.

“Great!” Beamer exclaimed. “Do you supply the firing squad too?”

“Keep your pants on,” she shot back at him. She slid aside a slab of plywood so covered with glued-down rocks and dirt and weeds that it looked like part of the ground.

“A hole!” Ghoulie exclaimed.

“A
dark
hole!” Michael added with a gulp.

“Get in there, quick,” she ordered, shoving him into the hole.

“Hey!” he protested. “What about spiders? And Mom'll kill me if I get my school clothes dirty.”

“Jared will kill you if you don't!”

He dropped in and was gone.

“Yo! Geek patrol!” Jared shouted from nearby, as he thrashed through the bushes looking for them. “Come out now and maybe I won't turn you into chopped beef.”

Scilla and Beamer scurried into the hole behind Ghoulie like frightened groundhogs. Not half a breath after Scilla dragged the plywood back over the hole, Jared's head poked through the bushes to see . . . nothing.

Meanwhile the fugitives found themselves climbing down a long ladder.

“A detour through the center of the earth wasn't exactly what I had in mind,” grumbled Beamer. Suddenly a tiny light flashed in front of his eyes; then another; then a hundred. His feet stumbled onto the floor and he whirled around in bewilderment. There were lights . . . everywhere!

8
The Haunting of Murphy Street

Beamer had been in caves before, but never in one that was lit up like Christmas.

“What is this, firefly city?” exclaimed Ghoulie, his eyes reflecting a thousand tiny lights flickering on and off.

“Wow!” chirped Michael as he jumped about trying to catch one.

“You haven't seen nothin' yet,” Scilla said as she removed an old-fashioned lamp hung on the wall. She turned a knob. There was no flame, but a large bulb suddenly glowed with a kind of liquid.

Michael touched the bulb. “Hey, it's not even warm!”

“Yeah, and the light's the same color as the light from the fireflies,” added Ghoulie.

“We can figure out this stuff later; let's just get out of here,” said Beamer, looking around nervously. “You're sure there's a way out, aren't you?”

“Of course, you ninny,” said Scilla, rolling her eyes. “It's this way.” She led them trudging through a winding passage. They could hear the distant sound of trickling water.

“This has got to be the longest shortcut in human history,” grumbled Beamer.

“Yeah, but you don't see Jared anywhere, do you?” Scilla shot back.

The passage opened up into a room the size of a large classroom, only twice as tall. Here the fireflies were even denser and portions of the walls glowed as well.

“Whoa!” gasped Ghoulie at the light show. He ran his fingers across the velvety-textured glowing stuff on the wall. “Seems to be some kind of moss.”

“Where do those go?” asked Beamer, eyeing several dark passages that led off from the room in different directions.

“Don't know, but Grandma says the whole area around the park is honeycombed with caves. This way out,” she said, leading them to a staircase carved into the rock.

“Hey!” Michael blurted as Scilla scrambled up the steps. “Did you see the letters carved in this rock? It says R.I.P.”

“R.I.P. — what?” Beamer asked with his usual little brother put-down.

“Rest in Peace, duh!” Michael retorted.

As the light from Scilla's lantern disappeared into the loft of the staircase, the others scrambled after her to escape the eerie glow of the cave.

A few minutes later Scilla pushed up a trapdoor, and they entered another place with creepy lighting. “Don't tell me, another cave?” Beamer grumbled.

“More biological illumination,” said Ghoulie with a whistle. It wasn't fireflies this time but a forest of plants that glowed in the dark.

Beamer lightly knocked on the dark wall. It clinked like glass. “We're in a greenhouse,” exclaimed Beamer, “except the windows are all blacked out.”

“This way,” chimed in Scilla as she led them toward a door at the end of the building.

“Hey, I think I saw that one move,” said Beamer. They all gathered around a bush with glowing purple flowers. Suddenly a bird with glowing wings fluttered out of the bush. They all jumped back, screaming at the same time, “
Aiiiii
!!”

Still screaming, Michael ran to the door and flung it open.

“Ouch . . . Whoa!” yelped the others who were right behind him, wincing from the sudden assault of sunlight. Then they breathed a sigh of relief . . . that is, until their eyes adjusted.

“Just exactly what planet are we on?” gulped Beamer. They were in a garden — but not like any they'd ever seen.

“Nice place,” Ghoulie gulped as he scanned the dark spires that loomed over the garden. “If you like sleeping in a casket.”

Yep, you guessed it. They were in the backyard of Parker's Castle.

“What's the next stop — the torture chamber?” Beamer rasped at Scilla.

“Keep your shirts on,” Scilla barked back at them. “The gate's over here.” She started down a path through the garden. “Just don't touch anything!” she added.

Actually Michael had already started touching everything. A plant suddenly snapped at him. “Yipes!” he yelped. “It's a man-eating garden!”

“Keep your hands to yourself,” Scilla repeated. “This isn't your everyday garden.”

“You don't say,” mocked Beamer.

Actually, it would have been beautiful if it hadn't also been so weird. Many of the plants seemed right out of
The Wizard of Oz
. There were flowers the size of a bicycle wheel, giant orchids, and walls of flowering vines. Huge and bright, they seemed to move from more than the wind. There was, however, no yellow brick road.