They Walk (27 page)

Becky narrows her eyes, and steps closer to get a better look. Placing the clipboard on the bed, she reaches into her pocket and produces a pair of latex gloves. Once on, she prods along my temple, making me flinch.

“
This was stitched up. Did you do this?”

“
I met a nurse that took care of me. It still hurts, is that normal?” I ask almost insistently.

She drops her hands and steps back to watch me.

“
It seems to be healing properly, since it was well stitched. Did you lose consciousness at all after you hit your head?”

“
Yes, and I was told that my heart stopped for a few seconds before coming back. After that I was out for over twenty four hours.”

Her eyes go wide, before she can control her face to just looking concerned.

“
How about feeling irritable, have trouble concentrating, unable to remember things, headaches, dizziness, and blurry vision?”

“
I had and have all of that to some degree still, except for irritable. Well, maybe not very irritable I mean.”

She gives me a smile, one that I don’t have a hard time returning.

“
Well, at least you have a sense of humor, so that’s good. But it worries me that you still have these symptoms, and even more that you were unconscious for so long. If you weren’t here talking right now, I’d say you might have severe damage to your brain and maybe a bleed.”

She lets out a sigh before continuing, and I’m pretty much holding my breath.

“
But, since you up walking around and talking clearly, I’d say severe concussion if not maybe a little damage to you brain from the hit. The brain is a very sensitive thing, and it heals at its own pace.”

“
What should I do about it in the meantime though?”

“
I’d say stay off your feet, and to not doing anything too strenuous. But I have a feeling you’re not going to listen to that. I’d feel more comfortable if I could actually do an MRI on you, to be safe, but we don’t have the equipment here.”

“
I won’t be like this forever will I?” I hope it’s not forever anyway.

“
There really is no way to tell for sure, but I’d say months, if you really wanted a time frame.”

Months, I stare at her in shock because she can’t be right, can she? That doesn’t even seem fair, who knows if I’ll even live for months without being hurt.

“
Don’t worry honey, it’ll get better I promise. And in the meantime, I can give you some pain pills for your headache.”

I nod my head, and just stare at her numbly. She pats my knee, and turns away back towards her desk. She goes behind it and gigs around in the drawers before pulling out a handful of packets. Satisfied, she walks back over to me. Back in front of me, she places the packets in my hands that are just lying in my lap, and makes me squeeze them.

“
Take a packet of these pills, every six hours if you can, and go get some rest alright? And try not to get hit in the head again, it won’t end well.”

I nod again.

As I watch her go, I wonder if I’ll ever be alright.

This pain inside goes deeper than my temple, and it’s got claws that are wrapped around my very being.

Chapter Forty Eight

Once back out in the hallway, I clutch the pill packets in one hand and the flashlight in the other. Not really paying attention to the people around me, I quickly walk towards the stares and to my escape. Almost to the door, I bump into a guy I think and only mumble an apology as I stumble past. There is light coming in through the window’s at the end of the hallway now, and I probably don’t need the flashlight on. But when I finally pull open the stairwell door, it’s still pitch black inside and I know I’ll need it hear.

Taking a deep breath from the stale air, I blindly step inside.

Once inside I stumble forward to go down the steps, and everything comes crashing into me so suddenly, that I fall back and sit down. Shaking I take in great hiccups of air as my head begins to pound more violently. Dropping both the packets and the flashlight, I lift my hands to cradle my head in them. Rocking back and forth, I try to think if I can really handle all of this and I don’t just mean the chance of never fully healing.

What if I can’t even make it to the Bates College?

What if my parents are actually there and I die before I get to them?

And what if they never even know that I tried to get to them?

I can’t help feeling so useless and so totally alone, that I can’t even catch my breath. It doesn’t help my headache, and that just makes me so angry all of a sudden. What have I done to deserve all of this? The world is going to crap, and everyone in this building is struggling to survive. And for what are we fighting for? The chance to just getting killed or losing more people we care about?

Dropping my hands with a small cry, I sit up and try to force my shaking to stop.

It doesn’t work though, and it kills me that I can’t even control my own body to do what I want it to. I know I’m probably being overly dramatic, but I’ve already been through so much and it scares me to think that there is only more to come. I think back to saying goodbye to my brother Dan, and how lost he looked having to watch me leave. I know he wanted to come with me, but he didn’t want to leave Maria and I can almost understand that frustration now. I want to go and look for our parents so bad it hurts, but what if I lose the chance of truly living? They might forgive me for trying to live, but I would never forgive myself.

Even if it costs me my life, I know I have to find them one way or another.

I reach to the step below me and grab for the flashlight, and with it I pick up the tiny pill packets. After stuffing them in the pockets of my hoody, I slowly get to my feet and try to push all the weighing thoughts out of my head. Feeling like a whinny girl, I march down the rest of the stares and make my way to the door. I quickly pull it open and rush out into the bright light of the first floor lobby. I’m just closing the door behind me, and when I turn around I slam into the chest of someone. I bounce back in alarm, but strong hands grab my arms and stop me before I hit the door at my back.

Glancing up, I find myself in the arms of Hunter.

“
Easy there little lady, are you all right?” He asks as he takes his hands back, too slowly for my liking.

Gazing around the small lobby and down the hall, I notice we are somewhat alone and for some reason that doesn’t sit well with me.

“
I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have just come barreling out of the door like that, my bad.” I say as I inch away and back towards the stadium.

“
It’s alright, no permanent damage.” He says with a wide smile, that makes me head for the Stadium doors a little faster.

“
Mostly everyone left for breakfast, including your boy Gabe. I was just heading there myself, and I could walk you if you like.”

I stop just a step from the open Stadium doors, and looking inside I know he’s right, it’s mostly empty. There is still a guard just inside the door, and nodding at Hunter. Seeking escape, I quickly go around the door and drop the flashlight in the tote. Turning back around, Hunter is still in the same spot and grinning at me. He offers me his arm, but I just stuff my hands in my hoody pocket and start for the hallway to the main lobby.

Hunter doesn’t say anything, just walks beside me until we are almost to the hallways entrance.

“
You were coming out of the stairwell pretty fast, is everything alright?” He asks.

“
Just fine actually, I just had to ask somebody something that’s all.” I say.

As I step in front of him and am about to step into the lobby, his abrupt laugh stills me and makes me turn to him.

“
What’s so funny?” I ask him, not sure if I even want to know.

“
It’s just you look so much like my ex-girlfriend when you’re trying to keep something to yourself. You both have that same deer in headlights look, it’s funny.”

He’s shaking his head now and smiling, and I’m now actually sure I look like a deer in the headlights. What could he mean by that?

“
I’m not sure what you mean but, is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“
Oh it’s definitely a bad thing, but it’s all good.” He says still grinning as he walks around me and out into the lobby.

Now I’m the one to shake my head, but only to clear it as I follow him.

Thankfully, the lobby is full of stragglers and we have to walk with them into the rec area Stadium. I walk in behind Hunter, and am relieved when he heads for the back of the room for the tables of food. Not in the mood myself to eat, I search for where the others are sitting. Finally spotting the top of Claire’s red haired head, I walk over to their table at the side of the room. They are all already eating, and Gabe looks up as I approach. He offers me a smile, and I feel guilty for sneaking of suddenly. There is an empty seat between him and Claire.

I quickly sit down with them, feeling a little calmer now.

“
Where have you been hiding out?” Gabe asks me as he takes a bite from an already half eaten apple.

“
Just out exploring, figured we wouldn’t be here much longer and wouldn’t have the chance.” I say not as confidently as I would’ve liked.

Gabe looks up at me mid bite and shares a weird look with Claire that is lost on me. I mentally slap myself though; I really should have come up with a better cover story. I’m about to confess, when Claire claps me on the back and shakes her head.

“
That’s our Mag pie for you, always out exploring instead of getting the sleep she needs.”

I smile and nod, and when I look to Gabe he’s smiling at me too, but I can tell he doesn’t really mean it. From the way he turns away too fast, I know he’s on to me. I have a feeling I’m going to have to come clean, and I guess I should have known better. He goes back to finishing his apple though, and eventually Hunter comes over to the table and sits in an empty seat in front of me. No sooner does he sit down, is he staring at me again.

I’m really going to have to get him to stop doing that, and I wish I knew what his deal was.

Chapter Forty Nine

An hour later, when everyone was done eating, Noah decided that the four of us should get together to go over the plan for us leaving tomorrow. So we ended up in an unused office down the hall from the rec area. It’s a small sort of room, but it has a desk and a sofa in it, so it worked out for us. Well, it worked out for the guys, since I’ve been pacing the length of the room for a while and just listening to them discussing things. The room is a little too dim for reading, since we just had a couple small candles to use.

And as I made my laps, the light flickered off the walls and cast a creepy glow over the guys.

“
So what you’re saying is that they could be in any one of the dozen building out there?” Gabe asks.

The three of them are standing around the desk, where a map of campus lies. There are so many out buildings that it’s difficult to guess where anyone would go, which is why I’ve been pacing. The map is terrifying me.

“
No, what I’m saying is that they were all at the Pettengill Hall building first. If we go there, we should find something to where they went to next.” Noah says, while pointing at the map.

“
Why would you think that?” Hunter says, from where he’s been leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

Noah looks up at Hunter for a moment before glancing back at the map. Hunter has been acting normal since we walked into the room, thank goodness. I don’t know if I could handle his weird looks being thrown my way.

“
It’s just something some of the soldiers having been talking about. In case of an emergency, they have plans for evacuating to another location.” Noah says.

“
So it would be safe to assume the same could be said for Bates.” Gabe interrupts while glancing at me making my fifth lap in pacing, before turning back to Noah.

“
Exactly, I’m just hoping they left something behind for us to use. We’ll have a lot of ground to cover though.”

I block out the rest of what they say as I continue my pacing, and now I’ve upgraded to ringing my hands together in knots. I can feel the throbbing of my head behind my eyes like a distant echo, turns out pain pills work wonders. I discreetly took a couple of them after dinner and am so glad that I did. I’m just turning back to the front of the room to restart my lap when I look up and find that Gabe is leaning in the open doorway watching me. Abruptly I come to a stop and realize that the others are gone.

Dropping my hands to my side, I feel my cheeks go scarlet.

“
Hey you...” He says softly, while giving me a whisper of a smile.

Standing in the middle of the room, for some reason I feel nervous being alone with him.

I know it doesn’t make sense, but the way he stands there watching me it’s like a heat wave is pouring into the room and is directed at me. I shift back and forth on my feet, and am not sure what I should be doing. Which is ridiculous, this is Gabe not some guy I’m alone with. He smirks at me suddenly, and pushes away from the wall. Before I even can guess what he’s doing, he’s closing the door behind him and walking over to me.