Thin Ice 6 - Hangman & Socrates (28 page)

Finishing her prayers she rose, drying her face and preparing to leave.

“
Good afternoon Hope,” Father James greeted.

Smiling almost instantly, Hope returned his greeting.

“
How are you feeling these days,” he asked, taking her in.

She replied that she felt as well as expected most days, but had an appointment today.

“
That’s good to hear,” Father James returned still regarding her silently.

Hope wondered what was on the parish priests mind.

“
Have you forgiven your brother yet,” he asked calmly.

The frown came before she could catch herself, answering his question.

“
Hope, you must forgive him,” the Father spoke. “Not as much for his soul, as for your own,” he added gently as Hope sighed deeply and nodded absently.

“
I’ll try Father,” she replied contritely as the man smiled and left her alone.

Continuing on about her way, Hope thought about the Priest’s admonishment as she rode to the medical center and her doctor’s office.
How can I forgive that monster,
she thought as tears threatened to come once again. Carlo was the reason her niece was out in the world doing God only knew what.
If she’s even still alive,
her mind tried as Hope violently rejected the thought.

“
Lauren is fine,” she murmured after paying the cabbie and walking inside the lobby of the five-story building.

Heading to the elevator she got into the wood paneled car and pushed the number four button, ignoring the piped in music that was nuisance playing in her ears. The small ding of the elevator bell alerted Hope she’d reached her destination and she disembarked. Sighing deeply she walked into the office, greeting the receptionist at the first desk and informing her she had an appointment. Smiling back the young woman asked Hope to take a seat, letting her know they would call her back into the examination room shortly. Picking up a magazine, Hope absently scanned the various articles, her mind racing the entire time. Where was her niece? Why had Roderick left her again without a word? Why did Stefan have to die? Why wouldn’t Carlo sign the documents and avoid all the hell his daughter’s life had become? Question upon question continually assailed her senses, giving Hope a monumental headache. Finally her name was called and she rose following the nurses direction. Sitting inside the small examination room, Hope waited and prayed.

*****

Cartier wanted answers and today he was going to get them. Carlo’s health had been continually declining and he wanted to know why. Things were almost in place. As a matter of fact they’d begun to count down the days. In seven short days Leavenworth would be a distant memory, an unwanted bad taste in their mouth. Cartier needed to know that his friend and partner was going to be in shape to go with him. Stefan’s death had been a shock, but this time it wasn’t the derailment it could have been. Carlo had wisely told Cartier to have Stefan give Ernie all the contact information for the players involved. He wasn’t hearing another double cross like the one they’d suffered with Quenton. That small move had paid huge when they got word of the man’s murder. Neither Cartier nor Carlo was surprised to learn he’d been killed. Stefan had been dirty for years, and he’d made numerous enemies. He unfortunately made one that did more than just issue an idle threat. Ernie and Spank had immediately picked up where Stefan left off, making payments, securing documents to continue the process. Finally they were down to the last payoff and that one would be delivered personally by Cartier and Carlo as free men.

Walking into the recreation room where Carlo was slumped in a chair, gazing out of the window, Cartier signaled the other inmates present to leave. Scurrying quickly they all left the room, giving the men privacy.

“
What’s up Hangman,” Cartier greeted his friend.

“
Enjoying the sun and pondering life, Socrates,” Carlo returned quietly.

Sighing deeply, Cartier addressed him again. “I need to know what the hell is going on Hangman, the truth, all of it,” he told him simply.

Carlo managed to sit up in the chair and regard his partner. Looking into his eyes, he remained quiet long enough to make the atmosphere very uncomfortable. Cartier wasn’t afraid of Carlo. He never had been, but the look in his partners eyes made him afraid of the words that were about to come out of his mouth.

“
I’m dying,” Carlo said simply.

Cartier’s heart sank. He suspected there was something gravely wrong with him, but hearing him say it made it far too real.

“
What are you talking about Hangman, dying from what,” he questioned as Carlo again sighed slightly.

“
I have the big C,” he replied calmly.

Cancer, fuck,
Cartier thought behind the calm façade.

“
Who told you that shit,” he asked irritably. He was still praying that his friend had been misdiagnosed.

“
The doc ran tests, blood tests,” Carlo replied still regarding Cartier. “I thought he was gonna tell me I had AIDS,” he offered chuckling bitterly.

Cartier simply grunted, not addressing the implications.

“
What about chemo,” Cartier tried.

Carlo explained he’d done that when they first found it and had gone into remission for a while.

“
It’s back though, meaner and hungrier than ever,” he added shifting in the chair once again.

“
We are out of here in seven days man,” Cartier began. “We’ll get you to a real doctor and real treatment.”

Carlo shook his head no. “I’m going to die in this place Socrates,” he said resolutely.

“
To hell you say,” Cartier replied angrily. “I know I can’t stop death Hangman, but I’ll be fuckin’ damned if you die in this raggedy, dank ass place,” he growled.

Carlo smiled slightly and thanked him for that.

“
I need to tell you some things, Socrates,” he began speaking once more. “Who knows, after I’m done, you may decide this hell is where you want to leave me,” he finished cryptically as Cartier frowned slightly, but told him to say what was on his mind.

*****

Roderick downed the scotch and poured himself another. The walls were closing in on him and he felt helpless to escape the onslaught. Hope was of course on the forefront of his mind, wondering how she was, if she missed him. He looked around the room at the exquisitely decorated penthouse that he called home. It was his place of peace, refuge when things got rough. Roderick took in the sea blue tapestry covered wall of his living room, the feeling of serenity escaping him this time. His glance went to the built in fish tank and the dozen or so, tropical fish swimming leisurely as he watched. Still his soul was trouble and restless.
At least there are no more children to worry about,
he thought recalling the vasectomy he’d had immediately after their daughter’s birth. Roderick vowed never to hurt another woman the way he had Faatin and Hope, so he’d had the procedure. His superiors were still on his case at every turn and Roderick felt that his end was near at the DEA. Not to mention the small thing of being a murderer that was continually eating at his conscience.
Stefan Clay was straight slime,
he thought irritably, knocking back the scotch and pouring yet another.
And you’re better how,
his mind continued to assail.

“
What the fuck ever,” Roderick growled rising and swaying on his feet.

He was good and drunk and he didn’t care. The phone rang and he frowned deeply, stumbling toward the loudly ringing instrument.

“
Hello,” Roderick managed. Listening he continued to frown. “Yes sir; tomorrow is fine,” he replied without slurring the words and alerting his boss he was drunk.

Disconnecting he began to curse again, kicking over the small coffee table in his living room. His superior wanted to meet with him tomorrow. Roderick already knew what they wanted. He was either about to get suspended, demoted, or fired. He didn’t relish any of the choices. He’d given his entire life to the DEA, losing his wife, his family and everyone that ever mattered to him in the process.
I haven’t seen my son in years, he probably hates my guts just like his brother,
Roderick pondered of Tariq. He’d contacted Emin three years ago asking about the young man. She’d told him of Tariq’s departure from her home, getting a place of his own. Last she’d heard Hasaan was living with him.
I hope he’s not strung out on that shit too,
Roderick continued to muse, making a silent vow to find the young man and observe his activities. He knew in his heart it was far too late for apologies and reconciliations, but Roderick at least wanted to know his blood was all right.
What about your daughter, how long are you going to lie to her too,
his mind wailed as the liquor tore down his defenses.

Roderick began to weep aloud. Sobbing deeply as he thought about the shambles his life had turned into. “Fucking Carlo Cisneros and Cartier Lemmings,” he shouted loudly, hurling the empty glass in his hands into the wall and hearing it shatter. All of his nightmares began the day he said yes to that assignment and approached the beautiful woman leaving the exclusive downtown Chicago boutique that fateful day almost eight years ago. For the first time in his life since joining the police force, Roderick Aames was facing the reality that he was soon to be just Aarick Taylor, civilian once again. His gut told him it was over. They’d been digging and digging making sure they stacked the deck well with evidence to dismiss him. He knew the game; hell, he’d done it to more than one of his own fellow colleagues. Sighing deeply Roderick picked up the bottle and headed into his bedroom closing the door, drawing the curtains, and shutting out the world as he opened the bottle and turned it up, drinking deeply until it was empty and he fell back onto the bed, passed out.

*****

Hope was numb as she walked the streets enjoying the crisp air, inhaling deeply. Her physician had confirmed her worst fears and told her the cancer had indeed returned, even more aggressive than before.
Now what,
Hope continued to brood, stopping at a small café and going inside. Sitting she ordered a small bowl of soup and a cup of coffee. Though she had many regrets about her life, Lauren was by far the biggest.
Please God, if you would just allow me the time to find my niece, to see her and tell her how very much I love her,
she prayed silently, wiping the tear away quickly that escaped and rolled down her cheek. Hope replayed her interaction with Carlo again and again, wondering how she could have missed the signs of his abuse toward the girl.
Don’t forget he closed you and everyone else out of his life for years after Lauren’s 12
^th
birthday,
her mind recalled. Hope sighed deeply still blaming herself in part for the abuse. She should have pushed harder, asked more questions, Hope continued to think in hindsight. The server interrupted her thought asking if she wanted a refill. Thanking her Hope watched her walk away as her mind began to spin again.

This time it was Roderick that permeated her thoughts.
He could have said goodbye,
she thought growing slightly angry. Still she had only herself to blame yet again, Hope chastised.
I should have never let him back into my life, my heart, or my bed,
he continued to brood as her heart continued to scream its undying love for him.

“
To hell with him,” she murmured aloud, sipping her coffee now.

As angry as she was with him, he was still Piper’s father and for that much alone Hope would always love Roderick Aames.
That wasn’t even his real name,
she thought once again, her mind traveling back to the fateful day she learned the truth about him. Unfortunately she’d been so distraught; she couldn’t recall the name she’d seen on the badge. There was no way for her to find him again unless he decided to show up on her door step.

“
Hmph, I may not be there to answer it,” Hope again mumbled, her illness taking center stage in her mind yet another time.

Sighing deeply, Hope drained her cup, paid her check and rose heading back out into the day. She made her way to the church once again. Walking up the concrete steps, Hope stopped right in front of the large cathedral taking in every nuance of the structure before looking up toward the partly cloudy sky, the patches of blue supporting the brightly shining sun that graced everyone beneath it with its warmth.

“
Before I leave this life,” Hope said softly adding nothing more as she lowered her head and continued on inside the church and straight to the altar, falling on her knees and praying anew.

26

Atlanta had changed a lot in the years that he’d been away Roderick thought as he rode. He’d flown in this afternoon after the meeting with his superiors three days ago. Not wanting to think about that at all, he changed his thoughts and continued to take in the scenery. Emin had given him the last known address she had for Tariq and he thanked her for her kindness in caring for his son all the years that she had.
“How are you really Aarick,” she’d asked quietly looking deeply into his eyes. Forcing a smile, he told her he was fine, just desperate to find his son. Emin nodded her understanding, though her eyes told him she didn’t believe him, she didn’t push.
Sighing deeply Roderick turned onto Cascade and began looking for the address he’d written down. Frowning he couldn’t say he was pleased about the neighborhood his son had chosen to call home. There was the usual urban blight present in the form of closed stores, young and old men hanging out on street corners. He saw a few obviously homeless people pushing their carts up and down the busy streets, several customized old fords and Chevy’s, music blasting as they passed through.