This Love of Mine (Raine Series #1) (15 page)

I knew
she didn't mean the things she was saying, but it didn't hurt any less. After
what we had just done, I thought it would bring her closer to me, not push her
a million miles away.

"But
I care for you so much Kayla, doesn't that mean anything?"

"More
than you could ever know." she whispered. "But it doesn't change the
fact that, you deserve more."

"I
deserve
you.
"

"You
deserve someone who can give as much as you can. I'm just not there yet."
She started to make her way back towards her house. I had to run to catch up to
her, and I gripped her elbow, turning her around to face me.

"Damn
it Kayla, I deserve YOU! What part of that don't you get? I'm practically
begging you to give me a chance." I pushed my hands back through my hair
trying to regain my composure. "Please Kayla, just stay. Stay with me for
another week and then we can figure this all out. Don't leave me, not now, not
after what just happened." My mind was ready to explode. Who the hell was
this girl in front of me and why was she pushing me so far away when mere minutes
ago, she was all but climbing inside of me?

Her
warm, delicate hand pressed palm down against my chest, right above my heart.
And when she spoke the next string of words, my heart literally broke beneath
her touch.

"Madison,
I can't. Move on, please. I'm begging you not to come after me. If we were
meant to be, then we will find our way to one another." She pressed a
chaste kiss to my lips and then she was gone. I stood speechless and
emotionless, as I watched her disappear into the darkness. I wanted to run after
her. I wanted to hold her against me and not take no for an answer, but I
couldn't. Something inside of me had died a little bit, and I knew this was a
battle that I would never win. I pulled a smoke out of my front pocket and lit
up. With every drag, I found myself growing increasingly angry.

I was
confused, hurt, broken hearted and ready to kill that fucker
Wren
and her mother. How could the
strong girl I know, not be strong enough to stand up to the one woman who
should never be left around her daughter alone? I wanted to scream. I wanted to
hurt somebody and make it count. I started making my way towards my
grandparent's house, when I heard a truck start in the distance. I pushed
myself to keep heading towards the house, to not stop and go running after her.

I lit
another smoke with the butt end of the previous one as I stepped up onto the
back porch. I never smoked near the house, and my grandfather had always warned
me that if he ever saw me, he would have my ass. Well he could have it tonight,
he could rip me apart and tear me down, and I wouldn't give a shit. Not now.

I threw
myself into the rocking chair and propped my feet up on the railing that
wrapped around the porch. I took a long pull on my smoke and slowly let the air
out, making small rings as I exhaled. It had taken all but ten minutes for me
to completely shut down every emotion swimming inside of me. I lit up one smoke
after another and as I neared the end of my pack, I heard a loud thump come
from beside me. I didn't have to look up to know that my grandfather was
standing right next to me, with a scowl upon his face that would have any man
shaking in his boots.

"Can
I help you?" I growled.

"Can
I sit by you?"

I looked
up at my grandfather in utter shock. "Excuse me?"

"Can
I sit by you, son?" His voice was low and controlled. Not at all like the
man I was expecting to come and have a stern talkin' with me.

"Um...sure."
I pulled my feet down from the banister and pulled them into the chair,
allowing my grandfather to pass. "Is everything alright, Sir?" I was
suddenly worried and very cautious of the things coming out of my mouth. As
pissed as I was, I wasn't in any mood to hurt the one man who had given me my
life back.

"I
can see you love that girl. I may be old, but I'm not blind. I knew the minute
I told ya to stay away, that you would do the exact opposite. But, that girl
has issues beyond your range of help."

"I'm
startin' to see that, Sir. The only problem is, is I care for her more than any
other girl I have ever known." I watched as the look on my grandfather's
face went from understanding to excitement.

"Now
I reckon that was definitely not what I was expectin' to hear come from ya.
When did all this happen?"

"It
doesn't matter anymore. She's leavin' tonight with her mother, of all
people."

"I'm
sorry, what did ya say?"

My
grandfather was now in a very hyper aware position and I swear he looked as
though he was going to jump over the railing and run towards the James'
property.

"Her
momma showed up when I dropped her off tonight. She was waitin' on the porch. I
waited forever in the field for her to show up, but I watched as every light
turned off and then, well, then she showed up. She said she has to go. Her momma
told her that her grandparents called her to come get her. I dunno, Sir. I
don't fuckin' get it!" I half shouted.

"Language,
son."

"Sorry,
Sir." I flicked the end of my smoke onto the gravel drive and went to
light another.

"You
really think that's gonna help?" He was pointing at the cigarette dangling
between my fingers.

"If
this is the worst thing I do, then you should count your blessings."

"Well,
I know for a fact that the James' would never in a million years call up that
poor girl's momma and ask her to come get her. Never! She's a bad woman, has
been for years. Something ain't right with this situation, Madison. I'm gonna
call Jasper, you put that shit out and hustle your ass over to their house, now
Madison!"

I jumped
up out of my chair and started runnin' towards the hill. I wasn't sure if we
were too late, but I damn sure wasn't givin' up. I crossed the small creek and
picked up speed as I heard the engine of the truck I had heard before, rev up.
I hauled ass through the trees and when I finally made it to the property, I
jumped the fence and ran right around the side of their house towards the
drive. The truck was still sitting there with the woman in the driver side, but
no Kayla from what I could see. Instead of heading into the house to find Kayla
to reason with her, I went straight to the source and swung open the passenger
side door.

"You
ain't takin' her. You hear me?" I was trying to catch my breath, as I
glanced over at her mother.

"I
don't believe that is any of your business young man. Now I reckon you better
walk away from this truck, before I run you over with it. And trust me when I
say, I will have no regrets doing it."

"Fuck
you, lady. You think I don't know what you and her ex did to her? You are one
sick bitch, thinkin' you can do that to your own child, and then she'll just
come runnin' back to ya."

She
threw the truck in park and came barreling around the front of the hood,
straight towards me. "You little fucker. You have no idea the things I am
capable of."

"Oh
I think I do." I put my hands up, ready to fend her off if necessary.
Obviously, I would never hurt a woman, but if I could just push her off, then
we would be good. I didn't have to do that though. A few seconds later, just as
she was reaching me, a loud gun shot went off. She instantly ducked her head
and covered her ears; I on the other hand, crossed my arms across my chest and
stood staring at the cowering woman in front of me.

"Anne
Marie James, you get your ass off of my property right this instant. You hear
me little girl?"

Mr.
James' voice boomed and echoed off of every tree and vast space around us.

"She
is
my
daughter. You cannot stop me
from taking her. She's mine."

"That's
where you're wrong, honey. That broken down little girl inside doesn't belong
to you or anyone for that matter. She is a human being, not a possession. But
she will stay here, and I will fight you tooth and nail to make it stick. You
don't deserve that little girl. She has done nothin' but love you
unconditionally and you have done nothin' but beat her so far down, that she
can barely stay afloat. If you wanna fight me on this, by all means, have a go
at it. But I promise you one thing, darlin', you will regret the day you walked
back into her life. Take that as you may. Now get the hell off of my damn
property before I call the cops."

"You're
gonna regret this daddy. I promise
you
that."

I was
still standing by the side of the truck, when Anne, Kayla's mother jumped in
and sped out of there faster than anyone I had ever seen. I watched as the
taillights disappeared down the dirt road, before turning towards Jasper. His
look wasn't welcoming, but the look in his eyes was thankful. I took a step
towards him, but he quickly held up his hand, stopping me in my tracks.

"Look
son, I appreciate what you and your granddad did here tonight, but that don't
change anything with me. I don't hold anything against you personally, but I
would prefer that you stay away from my grandbaby."

I hadn't
planned on cutting him off, but I wasn't about to have this man dictate how I
spent time with his granddaughter or whether or not I could. "Sir, with
all due respect, I don't believe I can do that. See, I like her, a lot Sir, and
I'm not willing to just walk away from her. If I have to prove myself to y'all,
I have no problem with that, but I don't think I can respect your wishes and
stay away from Kayla." I stood back, waiting for his reaction.

I was
expecting him to shout at me, knock me down a few inches. Tell me I was out of
my mind and it was never going to happen, but he didn't. He just stood there
sizing me up, not saying a word. I started to get rather nervous when after
about ten minutes he still hadn't said anything.

My mind
went blank, as I started to wonder where Kayla was and where her heart was, as
far as we were concerned. When I glanced back up at Mr. James, Kayla had somehow
appeared by his side. My heart melted the minute those sky blue eyes met with
mine. I wanted so much to reach out and touch her, to hold her close to me and
never let her go. When she made no attempt to come to me, I questioned what
exactly I was doing here.

"Sir,
can I have a minute with your granddaughter, please?" My voice was
strained and I was almost certain he could hear the nervousness in my tone.

"Y'all
have ten minutes and then she needs to come inside. Don't make me have to come
back out to get her, ya hear?"

I nodded
in his direction, never taking my eyes off of Kayla. Her grandfather turned and
kissed her on the top of her head, before heading back inside his house. I
walked the couple feet that stood between her and me, but before I could completely
close the distance she was making her way down to me.

I
reached out for her hand, but she pulled back. I was confused at this point. We
had had an amazing night, and yet she was still pulling away from me at every
turn.

"Kayla,
what are you doing?" I ran my hand down my face without looking up at her.
If she was about to break my heart, I didn't want to see it portrayed on her
face.

Kayla

I knew
what I had to do, and how I needed to do it, but looking at him was making it
all the more difficult. I wasn't willing to let him leave everything behind, or
give everything up for me. As much as I had grown to cherish this man in such a
short amount of time, I still wondered what would happen if it all didn't work
out.

When my
eyes met those emerald embers, I almost lost my nerve. The desire to run into
his embrace far outweighed having to tell him that he needed to leave and
forget about me.

"Madison,
I'm not exactly sure what I am doing, but I know what you need to be doing. You
need to go to Arizona and start your training camp. I know you extended your
time to stay here with me, and I'm not okay with that. As much as I want to be
the most selfish person in the world and keep you here with me forever, I know
that you were meant for greater things. I've never seen you play baseball, but
if you play anything like you sing, then I know you're a shoo in for the
majors. I have come to care for you far too much to let you give all that
up." I took in a short breath, but before I could continue with my rant,
Madison took his chance to cut in.

"Don't
you see, Kayla? I'm not giving anything up. Why can't I have both, you and
school? It's a fairly simple solution. At least for me, it is."

My body
was drawn to him like a moth to a flame. I found myself inching closer and
closer without even realizing it, until we were face to face. I wanted so badly
to place my hand against his cheek, to feel some sort of contact, but I just
couldn't allow myself to have that much hope.

"Madison,
I'm only a senior in high school and you're off to college. As much as I would
love to go with you, I can't. You saw what happened here tonight. For cryin'
out loud, my granddaddy all but pulled a shotgun on his own daughter, just to
get her to leave me alone. Could you imagine what would have happened had Wren
shown up with her? It's too much for me to deal with, let alone somebody I am
just gettin' to know. My life isn't normal.