This Ordinary Life (20 page)

I should have never gone to Frankie's.

I pick Danny up. Everything feels normal. Not the limp after-seizure effects. He opens his eyes.

“Hey!” I whisper. “What happened? You fall asleep while playing superheroes?”

He squints at me and looks around his room. He rubs his eyes. “Mom was going to do action figures with me. But I was doing them alone and then I was really tired. We did my math first. Homework sucks. It makes me sleepy.”

“Don't say sucks,” I say. The sick feeling in the pit of my stomach spreads further, making my limbs feel heavy and exhausted. Something about this feels wrong. “Come on, let's make grilled cheese?”

Danny follows me into the kitchen. I watch him carefully, but he seems okay. He doesn't even glance toward Mom on the couch. Amazing how normal this all is for him.

“Want to eat outside?” I ask. I don't want to look at her while we eat. So many emotions are warring in me, the strongest one of all being hurt. I don't even have any anger left. I just don't get it. How she can keep doing this and not care? How she can keep putting Danny in such serious danger by not being alert and aware?

I'm running out of options to keep my brother safe.

Danny takes paper plates and a bag of chips outside. He fills water glasses for us and carries napkins.

“Such a big helper!” I say. “I'll be out in like five minutes with the sandwiches. Go ahead and do swings for a few minutes, okay?”

Danny bounds back outside and I watch him through the window. I slip my phone out of my pocket and call his neurologist. They patch me through to the on call doctor and I explain what I saw with him this morning and then what may have happened tonight. Because of the medication changes, they agree he should come in, at least for a quick, in-office EEG.

Mom is going to flip about the cost, but I make the appointment for the next afternoon. She'll be at work anyway. I'll have to find someone to give us a ride.

Danny and I eat dinner on the deck and play more games of UNO than I can count. Mom is still asleep in the same exact position on the couch when I tuck him into his bed that night.

“G
OD
, I'
D LOVE
to slap Elena. Hard.” Frankie seethes the next morning during chem lab.

“Yep. Me too. She was all apologetic this morning, of course. Remorseful, I'm going to change, blah blah blah. I didn't even respond. I'm so done with her lies.”

“I feel awful I can't drive you and Danny though. I promised my mom I'd be at the senior citizen social this afternoon. I can't back out either or I totally would.”

I nod. It's understandable. Church functions and volunteering take up a lot of Frankie's spare time, and she really likes doing that stuff with her family, which is cool.

Family. How do I get a normal one of those?

“It's fine. I'll figure it out. By the way, did you happen to catch the morning show?”

“Yeah, you were completely awesome. I didn't even know you were upset until I saw you. You didn't give any emotions away. You're totally a pro, Jazz. No doubt.”

Happiness swells in my chest, despite how tired and upset I am today. I really hope she's right. A few more days and we'll see if I have what it takes to work at a real station. I stare out the window, daydreaming about going into the city every day. I can see myself, rushing around the broadcast room, helping and contributing to Get Up and Go, riding the train by myself into the huge city as if I belong there. If I get this internship, I will belong there.

Mr. Karns calls me over. I grab my lab pages before I go and pretend like I'm actually a functioning member of Easton High School.

W
ES MEETS ME
at my house right after school.

“I totally owe you huge,” I say as I climb into his car. I buckle Danny into his booster seat in the back. This has the potential to be really weird, bringing my little brother along, booster seat and all. But Wes doesn't bat an eye.

“I will think of a way to collect on that debt.” He smiles deviously at me and I roll my eyes.

“You really have no shame do you? Even in a situation like this.”

“Aw come on. I'm kidding. Trying to lighten the mood is all. And all's well with him, I'm sure.”

His optimism buoys me almost as much as the comfort and familiar scent of his car, pine air freshener and that powder-sweet laundry detergent, which reminds me of our hug the other night.

Anyway.

“I actually owe you,” he says. “My mom was making me go to this stupid college fair thing after school. I couldn't get out of it for anything until you called. Then
voilà,
like magic, she's fine with me missing it to come help you.”

“Well, you're welcome too then,” I say.

“What's up, little man?” Wes looks at Danny in his rearview. Danny is super excited about riding in Wes's car and bouncing all over the place in his seat.

“Nothing! I like your car! It's really nice! Are you my sister's boyfriend now? Hey Jazzy, what happened to Sebastian? He was your boyfriend, too.”

“Whoa, Dan,” I break in. “Calm down a bit back there, bud.” I give Wes a look that means to smooth over my brother's outburst, despite the fact that I'm mortified enough to crawl under my seat right now.

Wes laughs as he changes lanes. “So, Danny. Your sister tells me you like superheroes. Who are your favorites? I have a huge collection of comics. I should show you them sometime.”

“Whoa! Really?”

“Yeah, so who do you like? Are you a Marvel or a DC guy?”

“Marvel! Of course. Iron Man is the best! Who likes DC better, anyway?”

“I do have a thing for Batman,” Wes says thoughtfully. “But mostly, yeah, Marvel is definitely better.”

“A thing for Batman?” I snort.

Wes's eyes cut to me. “Hey there. Watch it. No disrespecting The Caped Crusader.”

“Oh. My. God. Dork alert.”

D
ANNY PLAYS WITH
the toys in Dr. Bee's waiting room. I watch him carefully, as if through a microscope. Nothing seems too off about him, neurologically speaking, but after the two episodes yesterday, my nerves are stacked like a delicate house of cards. He dumps out a box puzzle on the waiting room floor and walks circles around the pieces, trying to decide where to start.

“Jazzy, look! It's superheroes!”

“Very cool.” My breath is deep and shaky as I watch him. I just want him to be okay. Cringing, I text Mom to tell her where we are. I get ready for an onslaught of yelling. I didn't tell her this morning, because I didn't want her to tell me to cancel because of money.

“So yeah,” Wes says beside me. “Your radio show was kind of awesome this morning. Not going to lie though, I was a
little
disappointed there was no dedication to me.”

“And what would that dedication be?” I laugh.

“How should I know? You're the DJ!”

I give him a small smile. “Thanks for driving us,” I say quietly. “I'm sure this is the last place you feel like being.”

“It's not so bad.”

“Whoa!” Danny yells, moving to the other side of the puzzle. “I think this puzzle has a hundred pieces!”

“See how many you can get before it's your turn with the doctor,” I answer.

Danny happily goes back to his puzzle, shimmying from one end to the other as he puts the pieces together. He seems completely like himself, I decide, my worry trying to settle. On the television behind him, the news blares about wildfires on the West Coast.

Wes reaches over and takes my hand, cupping my fingers. Not threading them with his or squeezing them or anything, but cupping them, as if we're holding something delicate and precious in the space between our palms. I look down at them, every fiber and nerve in my body hyper aware. Sitting back in my seat, I tip my head back and close my eyes, leaving my hand in his.

I
T TURNS OUT
having Wes there is pretty amazing. Danny always has a hard time sitting still when they attach all the electrodes to his head and an even harder time waiting for the one hour test to pass. Wes distracts him by naming each wire on his head for a letter of the alphabet and then searching for superheroes or villains that start with that letter. I've never seen Danny so engaged and behaved during an EEG. When the technician turns the
lights off and puts a movie on the television for Danny to lie still and watch for the remainder of the test, Wes sits next to me in the small testing room. He takes my hand again.

“Thank you,” I whisper before putting my head on his shoulder and turning toward the television and the opening scenes of Disney's
Aladdin.

What I wouldn't give for three wishes of my own.

Dr. Bee comes in shortly after the tech is done removing the nodes and cleaning Danny up.

She smiles and asks me for a recap on what happened at home to prompt today's visit, listening thoughtfully as I tell her. She looks Danny over and tests a few of his vitals before turning to me to talk. I ask if we can step into the hall to discuss the rest. Danny has enough to worry about, especially after overhearing Mom and I argue the other night. He doesn't need to hear about this stuff.

“Today's test looks okay,” she says once we're in the hall. “There's still a lot of abnormalities, but it's the way his EEGs normally look. Nothing looks worse, certainly.”

You have to love a trip to the neurologist. Abnormal brain activity that doesn't look worse is actually good news. Relief washes over me.

“So that's good, then?”

“As good as it gets right now,” she says. “The new medicine is doing its job. Keep an eye on him, but also try to relax a bit too. He's in good hands and on good medicine. You know, Jasmine, you're taking a lot on yourself and it's really difficult for some people, even some adults, to handle. Where is your mom in all this?”

My stomach folds in on itself, the moment worse than a radio interview gone bad.

“She does what she can,” I say. Then, because I am a minor and I don't want anyone to report us or something, I put on a
big smile. “My mom works a lot, so I help out when I can. She's a single mother, so she has to work hard to support us financially. So I don't mind helping out with Danny whenever she needs a hand, even though she hates to miss appointments and stuff.”

The lies roll out of my mouth one after the other. Yuck.

Dr. Bee narrows her eyes and hands me a pamphlet. “Check out some of these web sites. They have good resources for care-givers. We also have a once-a-month support group at the hospital, too.”

She opens the door and walks back into the testing room. Danny and Wes lean over Wes's phone, reading what looks like a graphic novel eBook.

“Mr. McEnroe?” Dr. Bee says. “I didn't realize that was you.”

“Hey Doc.”

She smiles at me and looks between us. “I'm glad you have a friend to help, Jasmine. And Danny?”

My brother looks up at her, eyes flicking down to Wes's screen more than paying attention to her.

“You did awesome today. So I'll see you in a few months? Keep up the good work and have a great summer!”

Danny bounds through the waiting room, holding Wes's hand. “Can I see some of your comics today?”

“I don't know about today, but soon. Ask your sister when I can come over again.”

“Miss Torres?” The receptionist calls as we're leaving the office.

“Hang on, Danny. Can you wait on that bench?”

Wes walks back to the little window with me, his hand on the small of my back.

The woman's eyes bounce between Wes and me. “Miss Torres? I ran your copay through the payment on file, but it wasn't sufficient for today's visit. You owe us forty-five dollars for today.”

“Oh. Um. I don't have the money on me. Mom usually puts it on her debit card.”

She turns a paper toward me. “Is that this card with the end numbers 7245?”

“I think so.”

She lowers her voice. “The card was declined. I can take cash, check or another card.”

This is so not happening right now. I look around the crowded waiting room and cringe. In the hallway, Danny races up and down the tiles, sneakers screeching.

“Can you bill us?” I whisper.

“I'm afraid not. We have to collect the copay today. The rest of the charges for your coinsurance for the test will be billed.”

“Here, I got it.” Beside me, Wes pulls out his wallet.

“No. You are so not paying for this.”

“It's no problem.”

I take a deep breath and contemplate the open wallet in Wes's hand, the receptionist's expectant look and Danny, still running up and down the hall.

“Jazzy!” he calls, an irritated whine starting to creep into his voice. “What's taking so long?”

The receptionist's eyebrows raise with impatience.

I really don't have a choice. I watch as Wes hands over cash to the receptionist, wincing when she gives him the receipt.

“You didn't have to,” I whisper as we walk away from the window. “Anyway, I'll pay you back.”

“It's no problem, really,” he says. “You can pay me back if you really want, but you don't have to. Unless it's in kisses.” He wiggles his eyebrows, trying to distract me, but I feel like total crap. I'm such a loser. A loser with a mom that sucks.

He bumps his shoulder into mine. “Knock it off. Where's your sunny smile?”

I roll my eyes. “You are so corny. And inappropriate. But thank you.”

“That's what friends are for.” Wes holds the door open for me. Up ahead, Danny hits the elevator button, pressing his full weight into it like he has some kind of elevator calling superpower or something.

“Yes!” I say to Wes. “Friends. So you finally admit the limits of our relationship.”

Wes shrugs, a grin starting to turn the corners of his mouth up. “I can play along as well as you can. And anyway, I got you smiling again, didn't I?”