Thornbear (Book 1) (27 page)

“But you already knew,” said Rose. “Don’t play coy.”

“Yes, Lady Rose.”

“Just Rose,” answered his mother. “If we’re to be family then we can drop the titles.”

“Family?! But…,” Alyssa had finally lost her composure, she started to rise from her chair but Elise put a hand on her shoulder, pushing her back down.

“Sit down, girl.”

Gram had his face in his hands by then, uttering a low groan.

Rose studied the young woman across from her, “Do you love my son?”

Gram opened spread his fingers so that he could see through them, unable to look away. He felt as though he had entered some terrible play, but he desperately wanted to see how it ended, no matter how painful it was to watch. Alyssa’s head was down, staring at the table in front of her.

Seeing that, his heart fell.
She can’t say it, or maybe she doesn’t believe it.

A small voice caught the silence, “Beyond hope and despite all reason, I do. I love him.”

Carissa let out a long sigh; she had been holding her breath. “Whew.”

Gram felt much the same, “May I say something?”

Three women and one girl answered as one, “No.”

“I cannot marry him, though,” announced Alyssa. “My father won’t allow it.”

“Then why would he foster you out?” asked Elise.

“That was my mother’s idea, but Father has other plans for me.”

Rose looked at her with one brow raised, “Let me worry about that.”

“There’s nothing you can do,” protested Alyssa.

“I have already sent a letter to your family, requesting permission to visit them in the spring. We can discuss it then.”

Alyssa’s face showed terror then, and she stood abruptly, “No! You can’t do that.”

“I can and have. Trust me, girl, I can be very persuasive,” said Rose.

Elise chuckled and Carissa moved to stand behind Alyssa, patting her shoulder calmly.

“Don’t worry,” said Gram’s sister. “Momma will fix it. Your father doesn’t stand a chance.”

Alyssa looked at Gram, a single tear rolling down her cheek, “I do love you.”

The others took it as a hopeful sign, but Gram felt a deep sorrow in her gaze. The words meant one thing, but behind them was another message, and it felt like a good-bye. He rose and embraced her, unable to remain at a distance from her any longer.

His mother spoke then, “Also, I must ask that you refrain from sleeping with my son anymore, at least until after we’ve spoken to your father.”

Gram whirled on her, “By all the dead gods! Is there anything you won’t say?”

Carissa was pointing at him, one hand over her mouth, “You didn’t!”

Elise began to cackle, venting her laughter like an old crone while Alyssa buried her face against Gram’s back.

“Yes, ma’am,” she said into the space between his shoulders.

Chapter 25

Two days later Gram found himself riding across the fields beyond Washbrook with Alyssa beside him. It was still morning, but just barely. The sun was rising close to its apex for the day, and soon the folks at the castle would be gathering for lunch. The two lovers had other plans, however, and the saddlebags on their mounts were packed for a pleasant picnic.

Gram had already gotten permission from Cyhan to skip his afternoon session and he was looking forward to spending some time alone with Alyssa.

“Not here,” she told him when he suggested they stop in a pleasant spot bordering the forest. “Let’s find a shady glen.” She turned her horse toward the woods.

“Sure,” he said agreeably and soon they were picking their way along shady forest lanes. Twenty minutes later they were far from any human habitation, or prying eyes.

They unpacked in a grassy spot, where the trees opened up enough to provide the earth with warm sunshine. Alyssa had brought a large blanket, which she spread on the ground to provide a place for their meal.

The cups and a jug of wine came out first, and Gram poured them each a little.

She drank hers down in a long swallow, making him raise his eyebrows, and then she set it aside, leaning in for a kiss.

He responded in kind, but pulled away a moment later. “We haven’t eaten yet.”

“That can wait.” Her eyes held an unspoken urgency.

“They asked us not to…”

She kissed him again, and he reconsidered his opinion.

It had been some time since they had been alone together, and despite his best intentions, he found himself reaching a conclusion far sooner than he might have liked. He began to pull away, but she held onto him tightly.

“No, don’t stop.”

“I’m too close,” he told her, panting.

She twined her legs around his hips, urging him deeper. “I don’t care. I want this.”

“But…”

“Just this once,” she whispered into his ear. “Just today, please…”

He looked into her eyes, and a growl rose in his throat. Pressing her down he gave free rein to the primal beast within, and soon enough they were both crying out, mad with the passion of youth.

Afterward they ate some of the food she had packed, though there was far too much for the two of them to consume.

“I can’t eat all of this,” he admitted.

The expression on her face was one of terrible sadness. “I know. I think I overdid it.”

“Why the long face?”

She studied the ground, “I can’t explain it.”

“Try.”

“I love you, Gram, but I know this will come to ruin.”

“Is your father really that bad?”

A light breeze plucked at her hair. “His intentions are good, but his methods are...,” she stopped. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

He sighed, “I think I can understand that.” Leaning over, he brushed his lips across the back of her neck, sending a thrill down her spine.

“This is the last time for us,” she said bleakly.

“What does that mean?”

“We can’t be together anymore, this is the last time.”

He thought about her promise to his mother, the one they had just broken. “I guess you’re right. We shouldn’t do this anymore. But it’s just temporary, until we get your father’s permission to wed. How long before you have to be back at the castle?”

“Not until dinner time.”

“Then let’s make it count for something,” he said, and then he used his lips to express himself more directly, kissing her cheek and then tracing her jawline.

Moments later she met them with a hungry ferocity that both surprised and delighted him, and they spent the rest of the afternoon exploring the limits of their strength.

The sun was low on the horizon when they relented at last and began packing the scattered remains of their picnic back into the saddlebags. Alyssa put the food into hers.

“I’ll keep this,” she said. “I’m going to skip dinner this evening.”

Gram was disappointed, “Why?”

“I’m writing a letter to my father. I need some time alone,” she answered, though something about her tone rang false with him.

He decided not to press her on the issue and together they rode slowly out of the forest. When they emerged again into the open field she paused, “You go ahead. It’s best if they don’t see us returning together. Tongues will wag.”

“I don’t want to leave you alone,” said Gram. “What if there’s another hungry cat out there?”

She smiled, “I’m on a horse. Even a starving panther wouldn’t chance that.”

“Are you sure?”

She gave him a fierce expression, “The entire world is my weapon, what have I to fear?”

Gram frowned,
it was the same phrase Cyhan had once told him
. “Where did you hear that?”

Alyssa’s eyes widened for a second before relaxing again, “It’s something my uncle used to say. Why?”

“I just thought it was interesting. I’ll see you in the morning,” he replied.

She nodded and they split up there, taking different paths toward the castle. They could still see each other for some time, and he waved at her frequently, but eventually distance and the rolling terrain occluded his sight of her.

***

Morning came, but Alyssa was not at breakfast.

He asked Moira about her absence.

She looked at him as if he were mad. “She’s in Arundel, remember?”

“No. What are you talking about?” Gram’s heart was beating faster.

“You escorted her yesterday.”

“No, Moira, I didn’t.” he replied in alarm.

“I saw you ride out with her,” she insisted.

“Why did you think she was going to Arundel?”

“She told me so. She said Elaine invited her to stay with them for a week. Wait! Where are you going?!”

Gram was running for the stables.

There were no grooms present when he got there. They were still eating breakfast, but he didn’t need them to tell him that Alyssa’s horse wasn’t in its stall.

“Dammit, no!” he cursed, before launching into a long line of invective. He went to the tack room while he swore, taking his saddle and carrying it to Pebble. He saddled her, continuing to curse, though eventually he stopped. The mare could sense his agitation.

He rode out without a word to anyone, ignoring the friendly call from one of the gate guards. Pebble could sense his urgency and she picked a fast pace, cantering down the street through Washbrook. Once they had passed beyond the town gate he nudged her sides and she broke into a gallop.

Together, man and horse raced through the open countryside until he found the last place he was sure he had seen her, before she had passed from view. Dismounting, he began to search the area, while Pebble blew loudly, trying to recover her wind. He led the mare behind him while he searched.

The ground was soft, but he found no tracks. Forcing himself to be calm, he left Pebble and began to move in slow circles, working his way outward until at last he spotted a faint half circle impression.
There.
He went back to Pebble, and taking her reins in hand, walked with her to the spot.

He stood there for a while, letting his eyes take in the scenery, trying to get a feel for it. Following a half-day old trace through an open field wouldn’t be easy, even when it involved something as heavy as a horse. He found several more tracks before the ground became too hard to have taken a good print.

From there it was half intuition and half experience.
Look for what isn’t there.
In places the grass was bent, but he could never be completely sure it wasn’t something else that had caused it. He pushed his doubts aside and kept pressing on. At one point he lost sight of any trace of her, but he came to a small stream shortly after. Walking along one side of it, he eventually found the place they had crossed, where deep hoof prints scored the thick mud.

He crossed there and picked up the trail on the other side, but it didn’t become any easier after that. He struggled with his patience, knowing that haste would cause him to lose any hope of following her, but all the while in the back of his mind, he knew she was moving ever farther away. He couldn’t possibly track her as quickly as she would be moving, even if she chose a casual pace.

The day wore on, but he refused to give up. The horse’s path led him into the valley, leaving the road behind and meandering into the lush grass that sloped gently down toward the Glenmae River. Her course made little sense. It didn’t lead toward Arundel or Lancaster. In places it circled and it appeared as though the horse had stopped for long periods.

It was late afternoon when he spotted the horse. It was walking slowly, moving in his direction.

Alyssa was nowhere to be seen.

She abandoned the horse.

Despair seized his heart. At some point she had separated from the animal, leaving it to create a false trail for her. “Probably when she crossed the road,” he said to himself. Her light feet would have left little sign there, and the horse would have been tempted by the thick grass leading to the river. Otherwise it might have turned back for home sooner, possibly giving her away or raising an alarm when it returned rider-less.

Ignoring the horse he mounted Pebble and urged her into a gallop, riding back to where the trail had crossed the Arundel-Lancaster road. Once there he continued in the direction of Arundel. Alyssa was from Gododdin, and if she had intended to go home, that would be the only direction to take.

He had no hope of tracking her on the hard packed earth of the road, so he rode swiftly, silently, hoping he wouldn’t pass some sign of her as he went. He had already lost a lot of time.

Gram followed the road throughout the rest of the afternoon and into the evening. Hoping that she hadn’t abandoned the road and taken a cross country route. He would miss her then.

Darkness fell and he resumed walking, leading Pebble behind him. He stayed quiet, and the only sound was that of Pebble’s shod hooves striking the dry ground. His only hope was that he might see a light in the darkness, or catch some sound of her if she had made camp.

There was no moon that night, and only the light of the stars served to provide enough illumination for him to keep to the road. He walked on, refusing to give up, and when the sun rose again in the morning, it found him still plodding along, weary and worn. He was past Arundel now, and the road turned north to cross the Glenmae River and enter the mountains on its way to Gododdin.

With the return of the sun he mounted again and rode Pebble at an easy pace. They stopped at the river and he gave the mare some time to drink there before moving on. He reached the mountains before dark and stopped.

This is ridiculous.
She was well ahead of him, assuming he had even chosen the correct direction. It was also quite clear that she had planned her disappearance. Her words the day before had been very clear. He just hadn’t been listening.

She had even packed extra food to start the journey. There had been enough left to last her a few days if she ate sparingly. In contrast to that, he had no food at all, and Pebble, though willing, had had nothing but a few short minutes to graze throughout the day.

If he wished to pursue her further he would have to graze his horse, or find a farmer willing to spare him some grain. He would also need food.