Those Angstrom Men!. (12 page)

I am joined in this plea by several of my engineering associates. I look forward to once more reading my favourite trade magazine as it was before this merger.

That is not to imply the magazine cannot be improved. It most certainly could be, and I would be delighted to sit down with the Editor-In-Chief and show him how he could make a good trade magazine into a great trade magazine.

Yours truly,

David Angstrom

Managing Director

Angstrom Structural Engineering, a division of

Angstrom Commercial Construction

Daisy, amused at the fact that David Angstrom had assumed her to be male, replied

Dear Mr. Angstrom:

I personally made the decision to merge the two magazines based purely on the economics of publishing one magazine versus two of similar content. Neither publication supports a large market share. Economically, it makes sense to combine them.

If you feel so strongly, you can certainly purchase the rights to Construction of Commercial Buildings in Britain for One Hundred Thousand Pounds and publish it yourself.

The staff will be available for hire, and no doubt be of value to you, since you are not in the magazine business. We would be happy to print the magazine for you at a competitive rate, since an engineering company is unlikely to have that facility in-house.

Yours truly,

D. S. Fowler

Managing Director

Fowler Publications

David snorted, “Stupid twit,” and at dinner the next Sunday recounted the situation to his father and brother.

“Well, David, if you want to buy it, don’t forget we own several magazines now,” Ian said thoughtfully.

“
We certainly have the capability to take it on,” added his father. “And our own presses to print it...”

“It makes sense to me, Dad,” agr
eed Ian. “I would say with our Advertising Sales Department now being centralized, we could double the revenue.”

“If we
did take it on, I would suggest giving a free one year subscription to every structural engineer in the British Isles with an attractive five year renewal option available if they exercise it immediately,” said David, “And I’ll give the Advertising Sales Manager a list of potential advertisers.”

“That would be helpful, David,” said his father dryly.

“
I’ve always thought that the content and aim of the magazine were fine, but the Fowler’s never exploited half the possibilities to make money. I also thought they depend too much on professional journalists to write the content when they could have published a lot of articles written by leading engineers and architects...We engineering types are always ready to spout off on our favourite theories and brag about our success, and it is a trade publication after all...Why if half my friends thought they had a chance to see pictures of their projects in print, they’d buy a hundred copies to give away to future potential clients!”

Father and older brother smiled. David was better at business than he gave himself credit for.

Daisy was amazed to receive a response two days later.

Dear Mr. Fowler:

Upon discussion with the Board of Directors of Angstrom Holdings, we have decided to accept your kind offer to sell us
‘
Construction of Commercial Buildings in in Britain’
for One Hundred Thousand Pounds.

It will fit nicely within our magazine portfolio.

We will take on your staff at their present rates of compensation on a one year contract. During that time they will have the opportunity to prove their mettle. 

If you would have your legal department contact our legal department, we can expedite this purchase. I hope to publish our first edition within four months.
My brother David thanks you for this opportunity.

Yours truly,

Ian Angstrom

Managing Director

Angstrom Holdings

Daisy wondered what she had missed, the reason why Angstrom Holdings, reputed to be the elite of the elite when it came to shrewd business decisions, wanted that boring magazine. She sighed, and had her legal department contact their legal department. Transfer of ownership only took a fortnight.

She was al
so vaguely annoyed with herself that she hadn’t put David Angstrom, Engineer, together with the Angstrom Empire...she should have Googled him.

She would have asked a much higher price had she known
who she was dealing with...

She was more annoyed with herself when she got another letter three months later, enclosing a copy of
Construction of Commercial Buildings
with five times the advertising and articles by leading industry experts, including David Angstrom.

Then she read the write-
up in
Britain’s Best
disclosing that every structural engineer and architect in Great Britain had been given a free one year subscription and how already, sixty days later, over half of them had renewed for a five year period.

Daisy decided she didn’t really like David Angstrom, although she’d never met the man.

Six months later,
Wonder Women
printed their first
Most Eligible Bachelor List,
and instituted some on-line voting to pick the number one bachelor in Great Britain.

Ian Angstrom
came up fourth the first year and first the second. 

The success of the
Most Eligible Bachelor
promotion drove the magazine’s subscriptions and news stand sales sharply higher as Daisy had envisaged.

The online voting made their eEdition the most popular women’s eMagazine in Britain, with the website garnering over a million hits a day.

The business press hailed the new Managing Editor of
Wonder Women
as a genius.

Daisy
Fowler, they said, was a breath of fresh air to British women’s magazines.

David read the article, but didn’t correlate Daisy and
D.S.
as the same Fowler. 

Daisy was at a Trade and Commerce Association Luncheon one day when she saw Ian Angstrom standing with a man who must be his brother
, judging by the family resemblance. She went over, intending to say hello to Ian, when she heard the brother spouting off.

“...
Yes, James, I totally agree with you. It was the most stupid promotion ever. Does that Managing Editor realize the havoc she has created in the lives of those poor buggers on that
Most Eligible List?

“I mean, the things Ian had to endure...women throwing themselves at him night and day, sending him totally inappropriate packages and pictures...

“Why
, it’s a good thing that his new wife understands the publishing business, or it would have cost him the love of his life...”

...
and so and and so forth. He waxed poetic about the ignorance, bad taste and bad manners of the Managing Editor of
Wonder Women
for at least five minutes.

Daisy hung back. She
really
did not like David Angstrom now, even though he was better looking even than Ian.

What balderdash! The men loved the attention, Daisy
was certain the men loved the attention.

All men loved the attention, didn’t they? Why, she’d had two or three, or maybe four, boyfriends drop her because she didn’t give them as much attention as she paid to her business!

When she received other letters from him pointing out six mistakes in two issues of her Logic Problem magazines, she passed them on to the editor to answer.

When she got a letter complaining about the print quality of an architectural magazine she published, she began to get really fed up with David Angstrom, especially when he followed it up with a three page report on how to improve said magazine, and all the points were valid and valuable. She was even more fed up when she instituted that report and her bottom line zoomed up and up and up...

He felt like a bird of paradise up her nose. She was beginning to think that writing letters to her complaining about her magazines was David’s new hobby. She wished idly that she had a way to get her own back on this bothersome man.

Two days later,
Wonder Women
had their annual strategy meeting.

Number One on the agenda was choosing the Bachelors for the
Third Annual Most Eligible Bachelor List
.

Six hours in, eleven bachelors had been picked. The twelfth was proving difficult, to say the least. There was a three way tie in the voting around the board room table.

Inspiration struck. She had a way to get her own back at that bird of paradise stuck up her nose...

“Ladies and germs,” Daisy said above the hubbub and arguing. “Shut up. I think I have the solution.”

“Pick all three of them?” asked Sarah Vantage, the Fashion Editor hopefully.

“No. Who was the most popular Bachelor in the first two promotions?”

“That’s easy, Ian Angstrom. Too bad he got married, or we could run with him again,” said Dennis Blade, the Features Editor.

“He
has a younger single brother,” smiled Daisy, relishing the
havoc
she was about to create in the life of that annoying pest.

“What’s his name?”

“David. He’s even better looking, ladies. I saw him at a Trade Luncheon a while ago. He’s a structural engineer.  That will stand out nicely against all the athletes, actors and musicians we’re featuring this campaign. Dennis, get a background done on him and we’ll consider him the twelfth bachelor unless we turn up something very unsavory...

The next day, Daisy looked at the thumbnail dossier the Features Editor had put on her desk, with a picture of David taken at some reception or other, looking yummy in his tuxedo.

David
Simon Angstrom

Age:               Thirty

Marital Status:     Single

Dating Habits:     Successfully plays the field               

Career:            Structural Engineer, own firm

                   Director
of Angstrom Holdings

Financials:        Rich, n
ot as rich as his brother

Hobbies:          Sailing, skiing, hang gliding,
football

                  
Logic problems

                   (W
on English Logic Championship)

Daisy passed copies of the photograph and dossier around the table. The women agreed unanimously.

David Angstrom would follow his brother onto the
Most Eligible Bachelor List.

A photographer was assigned to discreetly follow David around for a three month period, without his knowledge
of course.

Tom, the freelance photojournalist who had picked up the assignment, started hanging around the pub David stopped at for the occasional drink with his mates after his football matches.

It was easy for Tom to strike up a casual friendship and get himself invited sailing on David’s thirty-two foot sloop, which gave
Wonder Women
some fantastic pictures of the engineer’s shirtless rippled torso as he leaned back, hard on the helm one sunny day.

The photo editor had copies printed for herself, and made a collage to hang on her bathroom wall, so she could drool over David in her bubble baths.

She gave copies to her best girlfriends for their birthdays.

The magazine used the sailing photos
alongside pictures Tom had snapped of David heading a ball into the net to win the local derby, dancing with a date at a nightclub, dining with another date at Gordon Ramsgate’s newest restaurant, etc. etc.

Tom did his research,
and even snapped pictures of three award-winning office buildings David had been involved in developing. The photo editor included them as well.

They ran several pictures of David’s girlfriends. David changed his girls as often as some men changed their socks...well, as often as some men cleaned their flats anyway. Tom got pictures of eight lucky women over three months, and the photo editor picked the five best looking.

The reporter who put the story together interviewed all five, who raved about David, about what a hunk he was, how considerate he was, and how they’d been sorry to see the end of the relationship.

She didn’t bother to
even try to interview David. She did interview David’s former P.A. (the current one wouldn’t talk to her), two girls who shared a flat with him while he was going to University, and a barmaid at the pub.

The reporter submitted the story to her copy editor, who gave it to Dennis, the Feature’s Editor.