Those Lazy Sundays: A Novel of the Undead (2 page)

Andy looked over, and saw the pimply guy who had greeted him earlier glaring at them.

"I guess Jeebus doesn't like groping in the Strive parking lot.”

"Funny," Sarah replied. "Looks like the clean-up is done." She pointed across the parking lot towards a dirt path that led through the trees to the camping area, where several of the students from the cleaning crew were walking, heading towards the parking lot. Their friends soon emerged at the back of the group, and waved to them.

"You know the route, right?" Sarah asked.

Andy shrugged. "I looked at it last night. Got a GPS if I get lost."

"Great," Sarah replied. "Probably will have to stop once or twice."

"Got that taken care of too," Andy replied. "There isn't shit between here and Burlington if we take this route you know, but there's a town right at the halfway point I think we can stop at. I'm sure it's at least got a gas station or a store or something."

"Where's that?" Sarah asked.

"Town's called Allentown," Andy said. "Never heard of it. But it's a tiny Vermont town, and it's a lazy-ass Sunday, so there might not be anything open. Could be true of anywhere we go. But if it's just a bathroom break, there's always the side of the road."

Sarah crinkled her nose. "That's a lot easier for you guys, you know. You don't have to worry about squatting in a patch of poison Ivy or pissing on your shoes."

Andy shrugged again. "Hey, Mother Nature's a bitch." He laughed at his own remark, which his girlfriend didn't quite see the humor in.

"I'm sure Allentown will have something open. Either way, should be a quiet drive back."

M
IKE WAS ALREADY DRIVING BACK when his phone rang a second time. He looked at the display, and almost thought about letting it go to voicemail. But in the end, he didn't do that. He picked up the phone and answered it, knowing he wasn't going to like the conversation that was about to happen. Once Rita had told him that they'd had to end the cookout early, that there had been some kind of illness or incident, he knew it was only a matter of time before he got another call.

"Where the fuck are you?"

The greeting wasn't altogether surprising, but the edge in the voice caught him a bit off guard. The town’s mayor, Harry Andrews, was a retired stock broker who probably had more money than everyone else in the town combined. That Mike had convinced him to let his deputy, Jeff, work a full day had been a small miracle. Andrews distributed overtime pay about as often as he distributed kindness or good humor. He had managed to raise his own salary for a couple weeks’ worth of work a year to more than Mike or Jeff made all year, but then, Harry Andrews was just that kind of guy.

Even for the dickhead mayor of Allentown, though, the tone was sharp, angry and... Mike wasn't completely sure.

"I'm driving back from the lake, Harry," Mike replied. "Should be back in about a half hour."

"A half hour?" Andrews replied. "Jesus Christ, great time to decide to leave your job to a fucking Boy Scout."

"Jeff is completely capable of˗"

"He's a fucking Boy Scout!" Andrews interrupted. "Things are out of control here, Mike. I'm practically barricaded in the fucking church right now. Where the hell is your deputy, huh?"

"Barricaded in the church? Harry, what the hell are you talking about about? Rita said there was some kind of food poisoning or something. If you're sick, you need to get to the hospital."

"Sick my ass. This is some kind of insurrection, is what this is. The peasants are finally breaking out the pitchforks and torches, and my fucking mercenary is out sipping cocktails at Club Med!"

"Uhhhh... okay Harry," Miked replied. He wasn't even going to bother responding to the 'mercenary' comment. He'd been around Harry Andrews to know that once he started ranting ˗ and this was about as screwy of a rant as he'd heard ˗ no amount of reasoning would matter. Harry was the type of person who just did. He didn't think, didn't contemplate, didn't question consequences or morality or right or wrong. He just did, and anyone who got in his way was bulldozed out of the way.

"Harry I'll get there as soon as I can," Mike said, trying to assure him, but knowing it wouldn't do any good. "Hey I think I'm losing reception, I˗" Mike disconnected the call before the mayor could jump in with another comment.

His phone rang again a few seconds later ˗ it was Harry's number again ˗ but this time Mike did let it go to voicemail. He'd deal with Harry Andrews when he got into town. First he needed to get there, and it sounded like quickly. It was possible that Andrews was overreacting, but Mike felt uneasy.

The way the mayor had talked, the tone of his voice, what he said. The mayor was an asshole, but he wasn't a nut, and more importantly, he wasn't a guy who scared easily. As unlikely as Mike founded it that anything big would happen in Allentown, it sounded like whatever was happening was at least big enough to put a fright into Andrews.

He glanced at the speedometer, and pressed harder on the gas pedal. Then he flipped on his radio and scanned through the stations until he found one that was on a news update. He didn't find it helpful. The disc jockey mentioned the early end of the cookout and the possible food poisoning, but that was it. Whatever Harry Andrews was seeing, it hadn't gotten to the news yet.

He left the radio on just in case. Before he got into town, he would pull into a restaurant or rest stop somewhere and change into his police uniform. Jeff had laughed at him when he'd brought it with him on his one day off, and he had thought about just leaving it at home as both Jeff and Rita suggested. They'd both wondered how he could truly feel like he was getting a day off when he was driving a police car, and carrying his uniform in the trunk. He'd responded that once he got on the lake and started fishing, his car and what was inside it wouldn't matter. As long as he didn't get any calls, it would feel like a real day off.

So much for that.

“I
T IS BEAUTIFUL out here.” Kate brushed a lock of light brown shoulder-length hair from her face, adjusted her glasses on her nose, and gazed out the window. The scenery had been the same for miles along the winding two-lane road: old farmhouses and dilapidated barns that looked like they’d been abandoned for a century, one gas-pump towns that ended before you could say “East Bumfuck,” rolling hills, isolated country homes, and trees. Lots and lots of trees. Some of them had already started to turn the brilliant oranges and yellows that would blaze across the Vermont, countryside in a couple of weeks.

“I suppose it’s nice to do this once in a while, while we have time. And it’s only three hours longer than the regular route,” Kyle said, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

Kyle’s girlfriend, Mary, elbowed him in the ribs playfully.

“It
is
pretty. It’s like looking at a postcard or something.”

“Yeah, the back of one,” Kyle remarked. Mary glared through his goofy grin, his mouth stretched wide beneath his large, Romanesque nose. Kyle leaned in and pecked her on the cheek before she could move out of the way. She pretended to wipe it off, rubbing her fingers on the skinny thigh of her jeans for good measure. Mary was thin – really thin – and had long brown hair that reached below her waist.

“Okay kids, enough of the couple’s quarrel in the back seat. If you want some alone time, we can pull over. Plenty of room in the woods!” A beefy hand grabbed something from below the radio and whipped it into the middle seat of the dark green mini-van. It hit Kyle in the face and fell to the floor by his feet.

He picked up the small, black square and held it up. Thankfully, it was unopened.

“Andy, I'm not sure I want to ask but, why is there a condom in the front seat of your van?” Kyle asked.

Andy, who had been at the wheel for the entire trip, grinned. His grin faded when he looked to his right and saw Sarah's glare, but widened again.

 “And magnum? Really?”

Andy glanced at Sarah gain, her big blue eyes still frozen in an icy glare.

“I—“ Andy began.

“Not unless he’s cheating on me with another guy,” Sarah cut in. The rest of the group broke out in laughter.

“Ouch,” Kyle said.

“Okay, it was a gag by the guys on the hockey team. They covered the van in condoms.”

“Do I want to know why?” Sarah asked.

Andy thought about it for a moment, and hesitated. “No, probably not. But don’t worry, it’s nothing like that.” He took Sarah’s hand, leaned to the side, and kissed it gently.

“God, you guys are obnoxious,” Sarah said.

“I think this was a little less awkward when we were just talking about the scenery,” Mary said.

“Well, at least Jack sure seems to be enjoying it.” Kate pointed to the guy next to her, his shaved head resting on the headrest as he slept soundly. His mouth was open and a thin glaze of drool coated his chin.

“How long’s he been out?” Kyle asked.

“A half hour or so.”

“I don’t blame him,” Sarah said. “I’ve been trying not to pass out myself.”

"So we took the scenic route so you could all sleep through it?" Andy asked.

Sarah ignored the comment and leaned against the door, resting her head on the window momentarily, her long blond hair pressed against the glass. She tried to stretch her legs but ran out of room, pushing herself up off the seat to stretch her muscles a little bit more. She was taller than everyone else in the car except for Andy, which was typical for her. She had always been the tallest girl in her class growing up – and taller than most of the boys, too.  

Sarah yawned, a contagion that spread through the car.

Kyle leaned forward, his chin resting on the shoulder of the driver’s seat.

“Andy, you need me to take over driving for a while?”

“Nah, I’m fine man,” Andy replied, glancing into the rearview mirror and shifting slightly in his seat. “Think I’ll pull over at the next store to stretch out a bit, maybe grab a drink. We'll be in Allentown in a few minutes.”

“That sounds good,” said Sarah. “I’m getting a little hungry. It's probably a good time for a rest stop. That's where you planned on stopping anyway."

The five of them continued chatting as Andy looked around for a place to stop. After a few more minutes of driving, they came upon an old two-story barn that had “General Store” painted in chipped, old-fashioned, red letters across a wooden sign that hung over a glass door. A single, ancient gas pump with a rolling meter was mounted on a concrete slab in front of the store. Andy glanced at the van’s gas gauge, relieved to note that it was still over three-quarters full. He wasn’t sure if gas pumps that old even worked with modern cars.

He pulled into the wide parking lot and parked the van a space over from a maroon four-door sedan, the only other car in the lot.

"Looks like this place is open," Andy said. "Might as well stop here."

“Should we wake him up?” Kate asked, pointing at Jack, who was still out cold.

Andy shrugged.

“Just leave him. If he wakes up, he’ll figure it out.”

They exited the van and took a few moments in the parking lot to stretch their limbs. Mary slid the door shut carefully to avoid waking their friend, a gesture Andy negated by slamming his own door. Jack stirred, but didn’t open his eyes.

Andy stepped up to the entrance of the store, glanced at the spiderweb of cracks in the middle of the door’s bottom pane of glass, and pulled it open. A set of bells on the top of the doorframe jingled in greeting. He stepped aside and held the door for his friends.

The inside of the store had clearly been renovated to not look like a barn. Though the floor was wooden and uneven, probably the original, the roof was low and paneled like a modern office building. The counter was by the front door, and three wide aisles spanned the length of the building, with a beer and drink cooler on the wall to the right, and cooler storing cold cuts and other perishables on the opposite wall.

Kyle stopped just inside the door and looked around. It was completely quiet, not even the sound of a radio or television breaking the silence. There was nobody behind the counter, and no other customers that he could see.

“Guess they’re not too worried about shop-lifters around here,” Andy mumbled, and made a bee-line for the drink cooler. Sarah, Mary and Kate followed behind him, browsing the limited inventory of boxed snacks, potato chips and pastries. Kyle took a few more steps into the store and peered over the counter.

There was nothing there.

He shrugged and walked across the store to join Mary, who was perusing a metal rack filled with potato chips, and put his arms around her waist. She grabbed a tube of regular Pringles from the shelf and spun it around to read the back. Kyle glanced over his shoulder at the counter again.

“Lot of calories in that,” Mary said, replacing the Pringles on the rack.

“What’s that?”

“Nothing,” she said. “Think I’ll get some Wheat Thins. That okay with you?”

“Yeah, sure,” Kyle replied, his mind elsewhere. He walked behind Mary, who stopped and grabbed a box of the crackers from the shelf. They returned to the front of the store, where Andy, Sarah and Kate were already standing by the counter with their items.

“Where do you suppose the other customer is?” Kyle asked, almost rhetorically.

“What other customer,” Andy replied, placing a twenty ounce bottle of Pepsi next to the lottery machine. “I don’t think they get many customers here.”

“There’s a car outside…” Kyle said, motioning toward the entrance.

“Could belong to the clerk.”

“Yeah,” Kyle said, and then added, “Seems like a pretty nice car for a minimum wage earner.”

Andy glanced at him quizzically. “Okay then. The car belongs to a rich guy who is banging the store clerk on the side. They’re upstairs fucking right now.”

Kyle laughed uneasily. Sarah poked her boyfriend in the ribs playfully, the small bag of Doritos she was carrying crinkling as he gave her a playful swat back.

Andy leaned forward, looking for a bell.

Not finding one, he bellowed loudly, “Excuse me! We’d like some service please!”

They waited. And no one came.

“If you don’t mind taking a five minute break, we’ll buy our stuff and you can keep doing… whatever it is you’re doing!” he yelled, raising his voice even more.

“Weird,” Kate said.

“Let’s just leave the money on the counter. I’m sure they’ll be fine with that,” Andy suggested, looking at the rest of them.

Mary looked around the store hesitantly. “I’m sure they wouldn’t mind getting the money, but…” she trailed off.

Andy looked at his friends, who all looked uncertain about the situation. It wasn’t just the money. Something didn’t
feel
right, and they all knew it.