Threads Of Desire (Creative Hearts Book 3) (15 page)

“Are you all right? Is this about Claire?”

Nick laughed; the sound was raw, and she felt it down in her belly. She watched him study the floor a moment. “No, Claire is the furthest thing on my mind right now.”

It was Gabby’s turn to laugh and Nick looked up at her sharply. “Come on, you have to admit, even for you that’s funny. 
Right now?
 So given our history, can I assume you’ll be thinking about Claire or whomever as soon as the sun rises?”

His eyes shot up to meet her own. “You know that’s not fair.”

“Fine,” She shot back. “But then what is happening here? Please don’t tell me it’s about me and some long-simmering feelings, because you know I’m not buying it. Remember we have history.”

His breathing was slow and deep as his words came out. “And what if I did? Why is that so hard for you to believe?”

Gabby pulled her feet back, away from where they were resting so close to his lap. She moved to get up. “I think I’m going to have to put some clothes on for this. Obviously you’re one of those guys who gets loopy when he’s gone a while without sex, and all your good reasoning ability has left your head and gone to your dick.”

She stood up, wincing only slightly when her bad foot hit the floor, and he grabbed her around her waist from where he was sitting, pulling her toward him burying his head into her stomach. “Shit, Gabby, you know that’s not true. You know what I’m feeling is real, and you know I’m fighting it just as much as you are.”

Gabby stilled, and mentally dared the tears to fall. How could she get wrapped up in him even for a moment? She pushed at Nick’s chest, surprising him and sending him reeling back on the bed as she clutched at her towel.

“You know what? I’m done. You win. I’m done fighting with you, Nick. You’ve got me here once again in the dark so why can’t you just call it what it is? A hormonal thing. A way for both of us to get what we need and move on. Beyond that, you’re not what I need, and I’m definitely not what you want.”

Nick opened his mouth to speak, but she held up her hand, stopping him.

“I’m not one of your perfect little chicks that you can parade around to add to the Nick Ross image and I never will be. I’m also not the girl who needs you to pay her a bit of attention to make her feel better, so you can keep your in-the-dark-pity-fuck ideas to yourself.” Gabby swallowed hard, taking down the tears, the hurt, the pain.

Nick looked up at her, his eyes once again unreadable. Good, maybe she’d finally done it. Finally gone and exercised the demon once and for all. Then he blinked and she could clearly see them glistening, round and large and shiny, even in the nebulous darkness of the blackout. He licked his full lips and his voice came out in a croak. “Did you ever stop to think it’s me that needs you? I’m not pitying you at all, Gabby; it’s you that should pity me.”

She closed her eyes against the emotions that slammed at her chest. Her fingers ached to reach forward and caress him, but her own better judgment stopped her. She tried to step back, fighting against the wetness that pooled between her thighs. “You need to stay here. Get back in bed,” he said low.

“No, I really need to go.”

“You, me. One of us always needs to go,” he said dryly. “So why are we both still here?”

She felt it all at once. Everything inside her went soft. “Mistakes will be made.”

He looked up at her, dark eyes meeting and holding hers. “The mistake was made long ago. You ever going to let me make it right?” His lips quirked up at one corner in a half smile half grimace as his eyes trailed down her body. “Besides the only mistake right now is you standing on that foot. Here, I brought you twenty-dollar ice. Can’t that at least get me something in return?”

She stepped forward and smacked lightly at his head. “Really, Nick, you think I’m going to put out for twenty-dollar ice?”

Nick looked thoughtful for a moment then laughed up at her, his eyes going way too serious for her comfort. “No, but I hope you’ll sit down and at least consider forgiving me for twenty-dollar ice.”

Gabby stared at him, her chest seizing up, her mind going all tilt-a-whirl, her legs going soft.

Forgiveness was something she’d never quite understood or wrapped her head around. She didn’t get the concept. Sure, she got the theory, but the practice was another thing entirely. Her heart was something she couldn’t quite control, so the act of forgiveness to her was just that, an act. In her heart of hearts, she’d love to forgive Nick for that night in the closet and those moments after when he’d dismissed her and their time together as nothing more than another notch in his belt. A mistake made, to be moved past. But it was something she’d never forget, and so she just didn’t know how to forgive.

But she was tired. Tired of the depravation and the unexplored feelings she still had for him. Tired of hating and punishing herself for having those feelings. She didn’t know how to tell her heart to stop feeling that hate, but she also didn’t know how to stop it from feeling the love she still had for him.

Gabby smiled down at Nick. Then, taking a deep breath, she summoned that girl that ran from that closet in all that pain and whispered silently in her ear to trust her, that it would all be all right, that she would take care of her. Then she gave her lips a lick and grinned at Nick. “Kiss my foot one more time then ask me that question again.” When he gave her a questioning gaze, Gabby dropped the towel and watched Nick suck in a breath. “You want me to bring the towel back? You seem to like it,” she purred.

He gave her a swat on her behind, causing her to jump. “You do talk a lot, don’t you?”

“Is that a problem?”

He looked up into her face, his eyes twinkling by candlelight from between her breasts. “You just keep talking then. It won’t bother me a bit. I’ll be fine right here.”

Nick then proceeded to take one of her nipples into his mouth, bringing his large hand up to caress the other. Gabby uttered an unbidden gasp as his tongue took her in fully and he sucked strongly. He pulled away and looked back up at her with a quizzical expression. “Um, why so quiet?”

She felt flush, her tongue thick and heavy so she could barely make out her words. “Oh, shut up you, and just keep going.”

Nick grinned at that and ran his tongue in between her breasts, sending a shiver throughout her body. “Come,” he said, taking hold of her behind and pulling her forward toward his lap.

“Not yet,” she replied in a haze.

He laughed. “Baby, I’m good but I’m not that good. You’ve gotta give me a minute. No, I mean, come here.”

Pulling her forward he led her to straddle his lap. The silky feel of his shorts was soft and slippery against her thighs. Nick leaned back, pausing to look at her again. Gabby fought not to move, suddenly feeling open and exposed. She was grateful for the blackout and the low light of the candle. But then Nick’s voice came out, low and soft, a sweet whisper drifting to her ear: “Damn, woman you are so beautiful.”

She felt her face go hot and tears threaten at the rims of her eyes. Her chest felt tight as she blinked and tugged at the hem of Nick’s tee. “And you are way too dressed. I’m feeling like this is out of balance.”

Nick leaned back, pulled off his tee, and dropped it to the floor. He pinned her with his eyes, suddenly still and all seriousness. “Are you sure?” he asked.

No,
 her mind told her. A trillion times no. But her heart and her hormones drowned it out. She looked into Nick’s eyes, down at his wide expanse of chest, back up to his lips, and leaned in. She got close and pulled back, hovering over him a brief moment, all seriousness, just as he was. It was as if the girl from the closet was just jumping up and demanding to be heard. “It’s a blackout. Let’s consider this a special occasion.”

She saw a slight frown sweep across his brow, but then it was gone, and he came forward. Nick’s lips were soft and warm as his arms encircled her body, hard and strong. She leaned into him and felt him grow harder then he already was underneath her spread center, and in that one blissful moment when her tongue, breath, heart, and memory mingled with him she felt powerful. For the first time, she felt strong too. Strong enough to take him on.

Gabby wrapped her arms around Nick and sunk into him, tasting his sweetness, feeling his heat, gaining even more power. It was as if she were building from his strength. Breathing hard, they came apart and looked at each other. He seemed wild, or maybe it was her. She didn’t know. Suddenly Nick lifted her and threw her down on the bed.

“Don’t move.”

She smiled. “You say that a lot.”

“You’re talking again?”

She quirked a brow. “I hope not for long.”

“Me too.” Then Nick was gone, but just as quickly he was back with a handful of condoms. She could have said something about having her own in her bedside drawer, but she was enjoying watching him take charge way too much. Besides, the way she was feeling, she was ready to jump out of her skin—and jump she almost did when he dropped his shorts and underwear, revealing his massive and obvious desire to her. Her mouth dropped open and her head fell back, her curls hitting her pillow, a long sigh escaping her lips.

“What, nothing flip to say, Miss Russell?”

Gabby looked back down and bit her bottom lip. “No, Mr. Ross. I think you have me speechless for once.”

He grinned at that, obviously pleased at himself. “Good. Let’s keep it that way for a bit, shall we? Now, what were you saying about kissing that foot?”

Nick started at her feet and kissed up her ankles, going to her calves and to a sensitive spot behind her knee that—oh hell—Gabby hadn’t even known she had. By the time he made his slow and lovely ascent up her legs to between her thighs, Gabby’s knuckles were sore from clutching the covers so tightly and she was so excited, she knew the bed sheets must be soaked.

Jeez, the man hadn’t even gotten to her real spot and she was already begging for him to have mercy. She wanted him inside her 
now
, but no, he was still teasing, intent on making it last. It seemed he had it in his mind that he would do everything in his power to make their brief time in the closet nothing more than a distant memory.

If only it were so easy.

His blew out a warm breath and it rippled along her body, bringing life to her nerve endings. Suddenly she was both fire and ice all at once. He wasn’t even touching her, and her nipples were more sensitive than they had ever been. She felt his warm kiss on her right hip and sighed. Her mind was reeling. For someone so large, he was still so gentle. It was amazing.

His hands came up and finally he brushed gently across her nipple, sending her back arching toward his touch. She wanted more. She wanted all of him. She swallowed, ready to tell him to just take her. Fill her. 
Now
. But then he shifted and kissed her tenderly on her most intimate spot. It was like a spark from heaven shooting through her body. Her eyes fluttered back, and she thought she would pass out. Gabby writhed, moving back from the shock, but he held her, going deeper. Tonguing, kissing, loving her full lower lips just as he had the ones above. Gabby’s breathing grew shallow. She was so close. She knew she was there, right on the edge. Then he did it. Damn Nick and his quick-assed tongue. Just one more lick and then a flick in just that spot, and her fingers were digging deep into his shoulders and she was gone. Riding high, taking off on a rocket. Going on a trip that she vowed she’d never take again.

Her heart thundered the same way. Did the same flip and double back. She got the same feeling of floating, of being above herself. That magical feeling of the two of them connecting, like she’d never had with anyone before or since. Her eyes shot open, and Nick was there above her.

She looked into his dark eyes. The dread, the shame, was threatening to return. She couldn’t let it. She wouldn’t let it.

Nick stared at her now with questioning eyes. “Last time, darling—are you sure? You have to tell me you’re sure.” Then he smiled. It was an unsure smile. Not the cocky know-it-all he was, but more of the unsure man she was starting to get glimpses of.

She leaned forward and kissed again him, softly this time, tasting herself, her own decision on his lips. “Yeah, I’m sure. Neither one of us are kids anymore. And like I said, this is a special occasion. It’s not every day the lights go out on the city.”

• • •

Nick pulled back. Worry pricked at him while desire coursed through him like a lightning storm. Gabby had said yes, but still he wasn’t sure. Sure, that flip little mouth of hers acted all self-assured and said yes, but her eyes told another story. He was about to protest. God, he couldn’t believe that he was going to be the one to pump the breaks, but after her words about being the girl in the dark, he didn’t dare make a wrong step and take a chance on potentially breaking her heart again. He was rock hard and wanted nothing more than to sink himself into those luscious curves of hers, but the stakes were just too high. The emotions still too raw. He saw it in her eyes, heard it in her voice—the distrust was still there. Telling her to wait was right there on the tip of his tongue, when Gabby reached over and, ever so smoothly, picked up one of the condoms.

“Now.” She ripped open the package with her teeth, and his cock got impossibly harder. Holy hell. 
Now.
 His heart went wild. If he didn’t come inside her, he was going to come just looking at her. Shit, how much longer could he wait? He’d wanted her again ever since he’d stupidly walked away from her all those years ago. How could he be even thinking of pulling back now?