Three Ex Presidents and James Franco (13 page)

              When I thought about the statement I realised that if it wasn't true, I at least wanted it to be true. The process of healing had begun.

The Sixth Part - The Play

60.
Act I: The play begins with me as President Buchanan, sitting in the oval office. I'm at a big desk, with an American flag behind me. The other man who I am talking to is easily recognisable as Abraham Lincoln. The tall hat, the beard, the coat and tails. The image has entered the public consciousness to such a degree that it cannot be displayed without seeming absurd. But Jake did his best to pull it off, giving his speech a strange lyrical quality which seemed appropriate. Seemed grand.

              Jake is bitterly assaulting me, telling me the Union will come to an end under my watch. I am pandering to the South, not having the courage of my convictions, being feeble. Slavery must end, and if necessary, the south must be made accept it through force.

              I tell him that democracy means not enforcing opinions upon others. The South will proceed as it wished; that was freedom. I have come around the other side of the table and am holding Jake's wrist, I'm telling him "Knowing the limits of what can be accomplished is essential to getting anything accomplished at all."

              Lincoln brushes Buchanan away, as he does so his hat falls to the ground. There is a pause as he bends to pick it up, giving dramatic effect to his parting remark: "I tell you this. History will never judge compromise well. The peoples of the future will scoff at those who rationalised who they were, and what they were. I am what I am. I'm a Republican and proud. And history will not catch me in the embrace of compromise." With that, exit Lincoln stage left.

              Act II consists of Buchanan in Wheatland. Zach plays a servant, or colleague. It isn't clear what his character was, apart from a device to avoid the scene consisting entirely of me, Buchanan, talking to myself. We are discussing the war. It becomes apparent through our discussion that Buchanan had decided not to stand for re-election and Lincoln is now President. Buchanan is bemoaning his successor's zeal. He complains that the country will disintegrate and cease to exist.

              "Have you heard from him at all?" Zach asks. “No”, is the wistful reply. At which point I look out the window and the audience can imagine Buchanan contemplating the enigma that is Lincoln. "He blames me for it all. He believes I'm weak. I've done something unconscionable to him in following my own conscience. Which I suppose is as good as any reason to hate a man. To think you do not trust his conscience." 

              "Do you think you will ever see him again?"

              "Aye. I will go to him. I will go to him if and when this blasted war is over."

              Act III. Back in the oval office. This time it’s Lincoln behind the desk. He seems to be giving Buchanan a frosty reception, disinclined to pander to Buchanan's attempts at friendliness. Buchanan congratulates him on the war effort, to which Lincoln snorts winning wars isn't something to congratulate a man for. The stand-off continues until Buchanan finally admits, "I'm sorry."

              "I know you are. But it simply isn't good enough." It’s said with a snort. I act a little stunned and Lincoln continues, "Go back to William King. Let the real men take care of things here. You were so contented to sit around and have slaves wait on you. Telling yourself that their slavery was something you could not help or change. It was the opinion of mankind that they should be slaves, and who were you to question that?"

              "The change is only coming with a great loss of life, a great suffering." Buchanan declares in his defence.

              "Would you have had it not happen at all? Is that what you are saying? If you could go back and stay on as President you would have let slavery continue?"

              "I wonder Mr President, if all men had as much desire to propagate their convictions, if we would have a country left at all."

              "Aye, it may be a worse off country I'll grant you. But a country without prejudice is a country we must all dream of having."

              "Then perhaps we will never agree. I believe in a country where prejudice is freely open for expression, as all ideas are free."

              "Yet, you would have no problem when the liberty you would grant all men, is used to constrain the liberty of the few."

              "I'm sorry that we cannot reconcile. I'm sorry for everything that happened."

              "I'm not. Knowing you has taught me something important. You have taught me what not to be."

              To my credit there was more going on than I have given in this brief description. In Act II William King arrives, and he and Buchanan discuss the financial cost of the end of slavery, King believing it to be his ruin. King seems to hold a great resentment for Lincoln, which he expresses in words which I thought might be typical for the period, 'scoundrel', 'cur' and 'bafoon'. Buchanan probes King as to whether or not his opinions of the blacks could be construed as prejudice, which King rejects, saying that it was a consequence of culture, a culture outsiders did not understand. In the interview Buchanan quotes from the Lincoln-Douglas debates which had at this stage already been mentioned in Act I. There were, in fact, many references to the politics of the period and the military tactics of the war. It was a history project after all.

              In fact, it could have been a very academic look at the ideas and mechanisations of the period, with all the dialogue being intact, if not for that kiss. I think I lost the audience at the moment of the kiss. But it wasn't planned at all.

61.
At the time I wasn't aware of anything other than the scandal of Jake taking public liberties. At the end of Act I he grabbed my face and rammed his tongue into my mouth. It was this manoeuvre, and not the scripted brushing me aside, which lead to him dropping his hat. After a moment he was turning to me and shouting about how he was a Republican and proud, while I was busy removing the hairs from his cheap fake beard from my mouth, and suddenly the scene was over. He had exited stage left.

              Immediately afterwards I thought Jake's indiscretion would be forgiven. But the reaction of those in attendance clearly showed there was little sympathy in the room.

              Brandon seemed sanguine after the play. He had the reticent air he put on when he knew he should speak but was afraid he would offend. I guessed that Fiona didn't like it, and her opinion had had this effect on Brandon. He just smiled and told me well done. It was an interesting take. Then he laughed and said he had to have dinner with Fiona and would catch up with me later.

              Eric laughed too. Uproariously. He patted me on the back and told me quite directly I was mad. But crazy in a good way.

              Dom told me I should be ashamed. The Great Emancipator should be treated with respect. It was disgraceful that I should come to this country and seek to pour scorn on their national heroes. When I tried to defend myself he stormed away.

              My lecturer told me in no uncertain terms that this would be the only night of the performance, and he wished to see me the very next day.

              Zach told me not to worry, he smiled and said it was fun while it lasted, and suggested we go off and get stoned.

              We looked around for Jake, but he was gone. So we left together.

62.
When Jake kissed me, when the words about how he was proud of what he was, were looked at again, it was clear that they were directed at me personally. I was a failure for being in love with Brandon, for fawning over Eric, for not joining his sperm adventure. And, spitefully, he had used a very public forum and my academic career as a means to send me a parting blow.

              I was discussing this with Zach, while I allowed the joint to slowly dull my brain.

              The conversation with Jake, months previously, came back to me. He'd told me these things. He'd told me academics had suggested Lincoln was gay. I should have seen this coming.

              Fiona knew what it meant, so probably did Brandon now. Eric knew. Dom knew. The lecturers knew. Even Zach knew what was really going on. This explained everything. The words ‘I’m a Republican and proud’ echoed in my ears as the true significance of the remark became clear. The words came after the kiss. So everyone had actually heard, ‘I’m gay and proud’, the famous mantra.

              The shock at Jake's subterfuge eventually subsided and was replaced with anxiety at the enormity of what had just happened. A descendant of Buchanan had come to town, availing of its hospitality, and while here had outed his ancestor and the nation's most loved icon to boot.

              I asked Zach what I should do.

              "Nothing," he said. "No offence to your writing skills or Jake's stunt, but I think the memory of Lincoln will remain intact. Though," he laughed, “if the student paper asks where the idea came from, you'll have to decide if you'll tell the truth."

              "The truth?"

              "That you got the idea from Bill Clinton."

63.
So that’s what was presented on stage. Buchanan and Lincoln barely knew each other. They may not have even met as far as I knew. The play couldn't be seen as a viable theory, of them as former lovers, in search of support. But that didn't stop people taking it extremely seriously. I was about to learn that doing something that is offensive and doing something which could be seen as offensive is often treated as the same thing.

              In most western cultures it’s still libellous to say someone is gay. Newspapers are liable to massive fines if they say it and can't prove it. This seems absurd to me. Saying someone is gay is no different to saying they are left handed. It’s a neutral comment. The law disagrees. To libel someone is to say something which lowers them in the estimation of the average person. And, so the theory goes, saying someone who is gay lowers them in people's estimation. Presumably they want everyone to think they are straight (and may actually be straight), or they won't sue. So the paper saying they are in fact gay is in effect saying they are a liar.

              My problem isn't with this logic. Papers can't go around saying people are liars. My problem is with why anyone would make a big deal out of it. A paper says a celebrity is gay and they sue. Why? Why not leave it be, and joke about its hilarity at dinner parties? Allowing people the recourse of the law to make a big deal out of something like that just makes it all a big deal.

              There is something wrong with the world when saying someone is gay is seen as an accusation, rather than a suggestion. Say a politician is incompetent, arrogant and stupid, but by no means say he could be gay.

              Was Lincoln gay? Are you gay?

              Chances are you aren't. Chances are he wasn't. But that’s not the point. The point is there should be no problem with me saying he was and you are. And if you are going to be offended with that type of logic chances are you haven't read this far anyway.

64.
Speaking of Jake, the play had greatly excited him. The play, as performed, that is, not exactly the play as written. A few days later I was back in his house, his foot soldiers still coming and going, with him very animatedly telling me how much he'd adored it.

              He wanted to take it on tour. College authorities had banned any further performances on campus. There had been a disciplinary hearing. Thankfully all that was decided was that I could write an essay to receive credits instead. In such a litigious country it was perhaps as severe as they could be.

              I didn't want to antagonise the situation any further. And I said so. Allowing it to go on tour would draw more attention to me.

              This didn't present much of a problem to Jake, my name could be taken off it. It could be changed. In fact it could be totally re-written to be about public reaction to its performance. Only parts of the play need be intact, its focus could instead be the homophobia of college authorities, of society.