Three Ex Presidents and James Franco (3 page)

It was time to stop acting so oblivious. Going over to the host I introduced myself and was surprised when he sacrificed one of his hands and his two eyes from their rolling to take me in and greet me in return. He smiled a pretty lazy smile, while trying to put a bit of force into his handshake. He was quite caned. "Hi, I'm Jake."

"Hi. I brought you a present. Where I come from it’s polite to arrive in someone's home bearing gifts." I took the last pill, the last yoke, from my pocket and handed it over.

Something like surprise crossed Jake’s face. He said a sincere thank you, thought about swallowing it, but then but it in half and offered me the other. I was glad of the half, but wished he'd taken it all. I wanted to kiss him before the night was out.

12.
I saw, heard and judged Jake before I met him. I was in a tutorial with him and Dom. It is true to say that Jake is a loud mouth, relishing any kind of disagreement. It’s also true to say that this turns many people off him, myself included initially.

 
            This time the issue was topical, the US election. Dom was holding forth in favour of Obama, Jake for Hillary Clinton. Not that he had any great love for Clinton, it's just that Obama was a great foil in his battle against it all. "So Obama is a leader for great change, Dom? What good is that for me? He isn't in favour of gay marriage. It's just more of the same.”

             
"Neither of them are in favour of gay marriage."

 
                "So that's ok, is it?"

             
Dom wasn't going to be pinned on that. "He voted against the war."

             
"When it didn't matter. Who was reporting a regional politician in Illinois making an easy decision when nothing hinged on it?"

             
"Where does that get us? You can only play it as it lays. When asked his opinion on the war he said he was against it."

             
"But it's not that his vote then didn't matter then. It's that it doesn't matter now. He can't just walk away from the war, he has to win it. And with his noble opposition already stated, he seems happy enough now to be talking about broadening the war into Pakistan."

             
"Nothing wrong with that, that's where the enemy is. If we're fighting a war we need to win it. Like you say, he can't just walk away now. And that's not his fault."

             
"So then we should vote for him for the things he couldn't do, not even for the things he can't do, but we're supposed to think he wants to do." Jake flung his arms in the air in very rude mock exacerbation. "He could just come out and say he favours gay marriage."

             
"Well he might not favour gay marriage." Dom didn't, so had to make this point. "But why make that an issue?"

             
"Because it would be the issue for Obama. It would be him actually standing for something. After this war any Democrat can win, I'd win, my pet dog would win the general, if he got the nomination. He can say it, but he doesn't. So we have to assume he doesn't support it. Or worse, he does, but won't say it. Because there's no revolution happening, no power moving to the people. There's a man playing the game like everyone else."

             
"So if Obama is elected you wouldn't want him to support gay marriage? Because he lied about it just to get elected?"

             
"I would support him doing that. Of course. But then he's no different to the rest of them. Afraid to actually argue with the American people and confront them with a choice of change. He's just flashing lights and rostrums then. Flashing lights of a man who wants to be elected, for one time being irrelevant in an irrelevant vote."

             
“Ya know, this country is suffering Jake. Gay marriage is not the only issue. It can't even be top ten. There's healthcare, the banks, guns, poverty, and yes, Iraq and Afghanistan."

             
"So many issues, so we should be voting for the man we trust. And by the way, civil rights issues should not have to fight for attention on a President's agenda. Allowing for gay marriage should be the President's job. The rest are the decisions. The rest are the character of the man. Which is tainted because he won't even stand up for a civil rights issue."

             
"Clinton isn't in favour of gay marriage either. Her husband introduced Don't ask, Don't tell. She was involved in that. She can't have it both ways. Either she was involved in her husband's administration, or she wasn't. Either that rests at her door, or the successes of the administration don't either."

             
"Clinton is better because she isn't a leader figure. She accepts her career is one of compromise. We know she'll sup with the devil. That's what we're voting for. With Obama, the claim he's principled is the joke. Because if he is so principled, why is he not principled on gay marriage? You have to just assume he is principled against it. It's you who can't have it both ways Dom. He's either a man of honesty and conviction or he's not. He's either in favour of civil liberties, or he's not."

I hated him. I could get over his verbosity. But I couldn't get over his arrogance. Rounding on a black man about civil liberties. Only short of bringing a rainbow flag in and waving it around, waving it in my face.

Despite this, at the end of the class I checked the register at the door for his name. Jake Bishop.

There is a difference between what we feel and what we think. I realised that rationally I should be intrigued by Jake. I also realised that my feelings of loathing were just that, feelings. Thoughts and feelings are different things. One we can control, the other we can't.

It was about time I started ignoring some of my feelings. They often can't be trusted.

13.
Where was Brandon?

While I was meeting new people he'd been at a Christian prayer meeting on campus. He went along to see what it was like and hung around for coffee.

At the reception afterwards he got talking to a pretty, preppy, perfunctory girl. It turned out they were going to the same place, Jake's party. Her brother’s party. They went together, Brandon wondering all the way if he should mention that he drank, or just get there, start drinking, and let that speak for itself. When they arrived it turned out she drank too. Much to Brandon's disappointment it also turned out that she had a boyfriend, Eric. 

This was Fiona.

"They met at a Christian prayer meeting."

That is not a yardstick to judge Brandon by. He's not really like that. He only went to see what it was like. He may have been there just to pick-up.

Fiona, on the other hand, organised the prayer meeting. Make of that what you will.

14.
They arrived in the house the same time as I entered Jake's room. Brandon only had to endure an introduction to the boyfriend, Eric's assorted friends having left for the Station, the student bar. I was getting merrily stoned, enjoying the attention I was receiving from Jake. If Jake liked me or not I couldn't tell, but he couldn't help but be intrigued by this foreigner arriving with gifts. He just needed to figure out I was the real gift.

Someone in the room hushed us, "What was that? There was a crash." All that could be heard was the Bop-whumma-whumma-bop of the music. Conversation resumed. The second time there was no need for someone to hush us to attention. There was an unmistakable crash. And then screaming voices.

Jake leapt up with surprising speed and control, and raced out the door. By the time the rest of us had managed to follow, nearly everyone at the party had crowded towards the disturbance. I couldn't get down the stairs, which was a sea of bodies, so I looked on, like everyone else. Looked on at Eric rammed against the fridge in the kitchen, being held in place by a snarling James.

15.
James's forearm, swollen to an impossible size, was holding Eric in place by the throat. Eric for his part wasn't squirming, concentrating instead on wheezing breaths. The spit he couldn't swallow congealed and dropped out of his mouth as he snarled, "Get...th fuc...off me." He punctuated the request with a fist to the side of James's head, which seemed to have no effect. Instead James just stood there, his eyes seeming to bulge more than even his muscles.

Jake, who had managed to get down beside them was freaking out. He said: "Man, man. This is really freaking me out." He was directing his attention at James, who didn't respond, just continued to stare malevolently into Eric's face. "Calm down man, calm down," Jake was almost screaming. Realising this he repeated himself in a much softer voice and proceeded to gently stroke James's back. "It’s no big deal man. Just calm down, just calm down."

Jake continued softly trying to restore order, being watched hopefully by Eric, while James continued to stare. Brandon was standing there, immobile, stunned. Fiona stood beside him, stony faced.

While the flames of this situation die down and Jake successfully both pacifies and removes James, I'll fill you in on what had happened. I wasn't aware at the time, but Eric on meeting Brandon had encouraged him to join in his drinking game. His friends having left, he needed new takers. Even though he was trying to convince himself there was no hope, Brandon was still in the mindset of trying to impress Fiona. So he declined. Eric became a little more insistent. After his third time of asking, Dom had intervened.

"Let the man alone," Dom had shouted. Eric told him to mind his own business. "Really, I mean it, let the man alone," Dom insisted.

"Listen Dom. Don't give me your brother fruit of Islam shit. Don't pontificate. My man Brandon is going to play the game. He wants to."

At this stage, Brandon had decided to take part, to calm the situation. Dom was having none of it: "Don't be afraid of him man," he was talking to Brandon now. "If you don't want to you don't have to."

Fiona was trying to calm the situation too. But Eric was of no mind to give in: "Listen," he said, directing his attention back to Brandon, "Even your faggot friend did it. You're not going to be outdone by a faggot are you?" It was the sneering manner in which he said this, not the words themselves, which struck everyone as being the most severe.

Certainly, it had had an effect on James. At this remark he jumped at Eric. Which pretty much brings us up to speed.

16.
After everything had calmed down to some degree, that is after James had been cajoled out the door, I met Fiona. She was busy standing beside Eric. Not fussing over him or chastising him, just soberly and silently standing there. Brandon introduced me. She did a good job of appearing unflustered and offered a smile and a hello. Eric was doing a poorer job of acting nonchalant.

Eric grabbed me by the shoulder and looked almost hysterically into my eyes. "I'm really sorry. I'm just...dunno. I'm just so sorry." At this point I thought he was saying sorry to me for disrupting the party. I hadn't heard him calling me a faggot. I just enjoyed his arms on me.

"Who was that fucking guy?" Eric asked. I didn't really know. But I was asking myself the same question. "He kept saying the weirdest thing to me, ‘You wanna fuck this up for me, you wanna fuck this up for me?' Over and over again. It’s all he said. Fuck what up?" I stood listening, as Eric put his battered pride back together, verbalising the process. "I will do now. That fucker. I'll fuck his shit up for him, fucking psycho. Who the fuck does he think he is?"

As we stood there, Fiona took no interest in her boyfriend's mental turmoil. Jake arrived back from wherever he'd brought James. He exchanged a nod with Eric, who was about to say something, but thought better of it. "Hi Fiona," he hugged her intimately. "Shaken?"

"Of course not, just another typical night in Jake’s," she laughed unconvincingly. When Jake introduced himself to Brandon I felt a small but concentrated knife of jealousy. I always got it when Brandon met other gay men. "Let’s go back in and keep the party going," Fiona suggested at which point the three moved towards another room. Brandon ushered me to follow.

"Just one moment." I was still listening to Eric fume. I thought he might rant himself out. But if anything his energy was increasing. Flecks of spittle were again beginning to congeal on his lips. At one point he decided to look for Dom, but it seemed he'd wisely vanished.

Finishing his beer he said he had to leave. He instructed me to follow the other three and to “Keep your mate's hands off my girlfriend. Do what you like with your own hands. Jake might be game." This last remark was said with as friendly a smile as he could muster. For some reason he then hugged me affectionately and kissed me playfully on the cheek. "No hard feelings. You're a good guy." And with that he was out the door.

17.
The Fighting Irish. It is possible that when Ireland lost her best and brightest, to famine and emigration, she also lost her fightiest.

 
             The people who were left behind fought no major wars. Did not see the battlefields of Gettysburg or D-Day. We became experts in guerrilla warfare, but ignored large conflicts. As though the gene for great struggles had sailed across the Atlantic.