Three Letters (24 page)

Curious, she watched it go out of sight. Then she smiled down on Tom. ‘So, you took it back, did you? Well, that’s OK.
I didn’t need to read it anyway.’

Somehow, it felt right, that the letter should be free.

Unlike her, because as far as she could tell right now, she would never be free.

But what did it matter? The fires of Hell could be no worse than the Hell she was living here on earth.

‘B
UT
I
NEED
to come with you, Granddad. I won’t be any trouble.’

‘I don’t reckon it would be a good idea,’ Bob told Casey. ‘It’ll be painful enough for me, let alone for a young lad like you. After all that’s happened, it’s best you stay away from there.’

‘But I have to get my comics and stuff.’

‘I’ll get them for yer. And don’t worry, I’ll be careful. Anyway, I’ve already asked
Dolly if she’ll be kind enough to stay here with you while I go and sort out the other house.’

Four weeks tomorrow! thought Bob in disgust. That’s all it’s been and already the landlord’s on me back! He wants the house emptied today, or he’ll charge another month’s rent, cheeky bugger! It seems he can’t pack another family in fast enough!

Putting on his spectacles, he checked the list, which
had been delivered by the landlord. ‘Look at that! He reckons he owns the double bed, and both armchairs in the sitting room. That’s the first I’ve heard o’ that!’

‘Me too,’ Casey declared stoutly.

‘Well, I never!’ Though the situation was disappointing, Granddad Bob was secretly amused by the boy’s quick remark. ‘Yer mean to tell me, yer mam and dad never thought to inform yer as to whether
or not they owned all the furniture?’ He gave an aside wink at Dolly, who was also amused by the boy’s contribution.

‘Bless his little heart.’ She smiled at Casey. ‘You’re only trying to help, isn’t that right, sweetheart?’

‘Yes, Granddad!’ In his own little way, the boy chided, ‘You shouldn’t ask me, ’cause I were never told anything like that.’

In truth, he was surprised as anyone to learn
that the landlord owned his mam and dad’s bed, and two chairs.

‘Yer absolutely right, lad, I should not have asked you, and I’m very sorry, I must say. As it happens, though, we’re both of us in the dark, ’cause nobody told me neither.’

He gave a convincing scowl. ‘So it looks like between the two of us, we’ve no idea what furniture the landlord owns, or doesn’t own.’ He looked across at Dolly.
‘We’ve only got his word for it. Moreover, to my recollection, some landlords have been known to claim things that weren’t even theirs in the first place!’

Dolly was always a practical soul. ‘Well, Bob, if you don’t mind me saying, it seems to me that if no one knows, and as your daughter-in-law can’t be found, you’ve little choice but to accept the landlord’s claim. Then later on, if you find
out he’s lied, you can have him, good and proper!’

The old man laughed out loud. ‘What with you and the boy, I reckon I’m caught between the devil and the deep blue sea. But yer right, lass. There’s nowt I can do for now, except tek his word for it.’

‘That’s what I think an’ all!’ Casey liked to be involved in serious conversations, even though sometimes he was out of his depth. ‘Maybe Daddy
wrote it all down in his papers and stuff.’

The old man was intrigued. ‘What “papers and stuff” would that be then?’

‘The rent book, I think, and papers …’ he gave a shrug ‘… just papers. And sometimes, when Daddy was writing things down and I was waiting to play the guitar, he would put the papers into a big envelope and ask me to put it in his special place, while he got the guitar tuned and
everything.’

‘I see.’ The old man lapsed into deep thought. He couldn’t help but wonder what kind of ‘writing things down’ his son might do; especially when his income was modest and he owned next to nothing.

‘I know where it’s all kept,’ Casey persisted, ‘so you do need me to help, and Dolly can come too. She can help pack stuff into the boxes, and I know what stuff was ours. I can write on
the boxes, so everybody knows what’s inside.’

‘Oh, I see.’ Bob gave a contrived little groan. ‘Looks like I’m being nagged from all sides. All right then, we’ll all go. All three of us. Satisfied, are yer?’

‘Well, I think that’s a very good idea,’ Dolly said. ‘Thank you, Casey.’ She told the boy. ‘For a minute there, I thought I’d never be asked.’ Picking up the teapot, she poured another cup
of tea for Bob. ‘Me and the lad knew all along that you’d get it right, though, didn’t we, Casey?’ When she gave the boy a crafty wink, he understood and grinned back at her.

He liked Dolly. It was good to have her here.

‘Right, lad,’ said Bob, ‘you go and get yourself ready. And don’t forget to comb your hair properly and make yourself look decent, in case them nosy neighbours are watching.’

‘What about the guitar, Granddad?’

‘What about it?’

‘When are we taking it for the man to mend?’

‘When we get back. But listen, lad, don’t get yer hopes up, in case it’s too far gone.’

‘But you said the man was really good at mending things.’

‘I know that, son, and he is, but he’s not a genius, and if a thing is past mending, he’ll say so.’

‘But he won’t say the guitar is “past mending”,
will he, Granddad?’

‘I honestly don’t know, lad. Don’t forget that guitar took quite a battering.’

Bob had never given his grandson false hope, and he wasn’t about to give it now. ‘A guitar, like any musical instrument, is a delicate thing. Even if it got put back together, there’s no guarantee it would ever sound the same.’

‘But we have to try, Granddad. We have to!’

‘I agree. We’ll do all
we can, lad. I made you a promise on that.’

Reassured, the boy went up to get himself ready.

Once inside the bedroom, he sat before the mirror, suddenly low in spirit as he thought of what they were about to do.

‘I don’t want the landlord to take back the house, but I don’t ever want to live there again,’ Casey spoke. ‘But what if Mam wants to stay there? How can she do that, without any money
for the rent? Granddad says she’s made her choice, and that he’s sure if she needs us she’ll be in touch, but she won’t need us and she won’t ever get in touch, and I don’t know if I even want her to.’

His mind and heart were heavy with all manner of guilt and blame, and when he thought of his daddy’s loving letter, he wondered how he was able to forgive her when he was finding it so hard to
do.

‘I don’t want to go back to Henry Street, and then I do, and then I don’t,’ he muttered. He closed his eyes, remembering the last time he was in that house. In his mind’s eye he could hear Mam shouting at Daddy. Telling her bad things. He could remember her grabbing hold of him when Daddy was out of the room, and how very much she had wanted to hurt him.

Disturbed by the images in his mind,
he opened his eyes and stared at himself in the mirror. Suddenly, he imagined it was not himself looking back from the mirror, but his daddy, smiling at him, willing him to be brave. ‘I don’t know how I’ll feel when I go inside the house. I’m frightened, Daddy. I’m worried I might run away, and upset Granddad …’

For one precious, fleeting moment, Casey felt as though his daddy was right there,
in the room with him, and his presence gave him such great strength of heart that suddenly his fear was gone, and then his daddy was gone.

He tried hard to stop the tears from falling, but he could not. This time, though, unlike before, they were not sad, because he was not sad.

Eventually, he brushed the tears impatiently away. ‘I love you, Daddy.’ His fingers traced the spot where he thought
he had seen his daddy’s face, and his heart was calm again.

He would try hard to be brave, because his daddy would be there just as he had promised in the letter. He would be there to help him.

Downstairs, Bob and Dolly were talking. ‘I’m still not sure I’m doing the right thing, lass … tekking the boy back there.’

Like Bob, Dolly kept her voice low. ‘You do right to take him, Bob. From what
you told me, Henry Street is the only home he’s ever known, and to my mind, it’s best he’s allowed to say goodbye, once and for all. Y’see, Bob … in doing that, he won’t be forever hankering after what once was, or what might have been, because now, with his daddy gone – God rest his soul,’ she made the sign of the cross on herself – ‘and with his mammy gone off who knows where, Casey has no choice
but to start again. But he’ll have you, thank goodness, and I’ll be there whenever either of you need me.’

‘Oh, I see!’ Bob had come to value Dolly like he never thought he would value another woman since his dear wife was gone. He was happy in Dolly’s company, and he looked forward to having her here. And now the two of them were so familiar with each other, she felt she had the right to speak
her mind, which she did whenever she thought it necessary. ‘So, now I’m being got at from all sides, am I?’

She answered tenderly, ‘I’m not getting at you, Bob. All I’m saying is, young Casey is a sensible lad. If he feels able to deal with seeing his old house again, then why not let him? I’ll be there as well. You know I’m more than willing to lend a hand. And you know that if the lad is upset
at being back there in that house, I’ll take him out of it, while you carry on and do the necessary work.’

The old man was deeply uncomfortable about the plan. ‘I don’t know, Dolly. I’m not altogether sure it’s right for the lad to be there.’ He lowered his voice to a whisper. ‘Bad memories and all that.’

‘Well, of course it’s entirely up to you, and I really shouldn’t interfere. But have you
thought that, in order to get past the “bad memories and all that”, the lad might really need to go back and say goodbye for that one last time? It won’t be easy for you either, Bob, but between the two of you, I know you’ll get through this.’ Having witnessed first-hand the close bond between the old man and the boy, she was filled with warmth and admiration.

Bob looked up at her, and what he
saw was the kindliest, prettiest face smiling down on him; and he felt like the luckiest man on earth to have found her, especially at this time in his life. ‘Yer right, lass. The boy has a mind of his own, and if he’s sure it won’t test him too much, then we’ll tek him back, like he asked. Besides, it’ll save me a job, ’cause then he can sort out his own comics, eh?’

And so it was decided. All
three of them would go.

Some half-hour later, like three souls on a mission, they went off down the street, the boy going in front, and the two old folk coming up behind, chatting about things in general, and privately thinking about each other and the future.

The boy, however, was strongest on their minds. They knew it would be an ordeal for him to go into the house on Henry
Street.

The very same thought was running through Casey’s young mind. It was strange to think that when they left Henry Street, it would be for the last time. That little terraced house where he was brought up was very special to him, the only home he had known until a month ago.

It was only now that he came to realise the many boyish adventures he’d enjoyed in Henry Street. He’d learned to
play football on the cobbles; race a playmate from the top of the street to the bottom, and to swing round the lampposts with a makeshift wooden seat fastened to a rope, the rope carefully looped over the arm of the lamp.

It was where he first learned to ride his bicycle, with his daddy running close behind, ready to catch him if he should fall.

As he ran in front of Dolly and Granddad Bob,
he recalled many good happenings inside their house, things that made him laugh out loud. Like the time he and his daddy had been working down in the coal cellar.

The idea was to clean a small area, then they would paint the walls and partition it all off, so they could play the guitar and make music down there without bothering anyone with the noise. It would be their very own little hideaway.

First, they needed to clear away the thick layers of soot, which over the years had stuck to the damp walls like a second skin.