Thyla (20 page)

When you saw us coming, you began to sprint towards us, your hand rising up in greeting. ‘Vinnie! Tessa!’ you called out. When you reached us, you wrapped your arms around me. ‘Oh, thank God. Thank
God
, Tessa! I thought I lost you! Vinnie, where did you find her?’ you asked, turning to Isaac with your arms still tightly around me. You didn’t wait for him to reply. ‘What happened to her? Why was she out there?’

‘I was out there because I was Thyla,’ I said quickly, before Isaac could come up with some lie to deceive you. ‘That’s what they’re called. The creatures in the book. I’m one of them. We both are.’

You gasped, looking up at Isaac. ‘What do you mean you
both
are? Tess, really! She’s joking, isn’t she, Vinnie?’

But something in his expression told you everything you needed to know.

Your face became pale. The freckles seeming to darken, showing like specks of dirt on a marble floor. ‘No, hang on. Wait. I …’ You looked like you wanted to run. Your hands were raised up, and your head was shaking.

‘I can’t deal with this,’ you said. ‘It’s too much. I … I need to go. I need to
think.’

‘Connolly, I’m still the same. We’re still the same!’ I protested.

I looked quickly at Isaac, afraid of what I would see. I expected him to be angry – his eyes blazing, his jaw grinding. Instead, I was surprised to see that he looked calm, even relieved.

‘Rache, nothing has changed,’ he said.

The way his voice sounded surprised me almost more than anything I had seen that day.

It was soft. It was kind. It was
tender.

You still looked as though you wanted to run, your body tilted half away from us.

But you weren’t running. You had stopped. You were listening.

‘Have you
always
been?’ you asked, softly.

‘Yeah, for about a hundred and sixty years.’

‘Why did you never
tell
me?’

You looked as though you might cry and suddenly I understood the tenderness in Isaac’s voice. I’d never noticed it before. But now it was there, painted vividly on the faces of my two friends: in the softness in Isaac’s eyes; in the way you were biting your lip, your eyebrows furrowed.

‘I never told you because I thought you wouldn’t understand.’

‘I
don’t
understand,’ you whispered. ‘But maybe I
will
. In time. I’ll try. That’s all I can promise, Vinnie.’

‘Right. Good. Excellent. Well, we’ll talk about that later,’ he grunted, his voice shifting abruptly to his usual growly tone.

‘Where have you been?’ you asked again, your voice turning from tender to accusing. ‘Where did you take her? Vinnie, what is going on?’

‘There are … dangers here,’ Isaac said, carefully.

‘At this school? Has this got something to do with those other missing girls? Because you said that case had been solved and they were safe. And I know that Cat … oh, Vinnie! Has this got something to do with Cat?’

‘No!’ Isaac said, quickly. ‘This has nothing to do with Cat. Nothing to do with you. You need to keep away, Rachel. You need to stay
away
from all of this.’

You looked exasperated. ‘Vinnie, why on Earth would you let Tessa come to this school, if you knew it would be dangerous for her?’

Isaac cleared his throat. ‘Well, Lord wanted Tessa to come here and he’s … he’s such a powerful businessman, Rache. You know that we must be
seen
to be doing what he wants.’

Isaac gave me a meaningful look – a look that said ‘don’t say a word’, and I didn’t need to ask why. He was trying to protect you. He was trying to keep you from knowing about Lord because he knew if you did, you’d be in danger. In any case, I felt too nauseated to say anything. I knew Lord had provided the money for me to come to Cascade Falls, but he had
suggested
I come here?

Why?

‘And … look, Rache,’ Isaac went on, ‘I
did
know that there were Sarcos here – but they are Sarcos I have come to trust.’

‘Sarcos?’ you said, wiping a shaky hand over your face, your eyes closing as though you were very tired. ‘Vinnie, I don’t know what a
Sarco
is.’

Isaac looked at me and then back to you.

‘I will explain,’ he said, softly. ‘I’ll explain everything. But not now. All you need to know for now is that the Sarcos were here to protect the girls. And our pack does nightly patrols here for the same reason, as we have done since the school was built. I thought Tess would be safer here than anywhere, with our protection.’

‘Okay,’ you said. ‘
Maybe
that’s okay. I don’t know.’

‘It was
necessary
, Rache,’ Isaac said. ‘Please leave it at that for now, yeah?’

You nodded.

‘Now, Rache,’ said Isaac, clearing his throat. ‘There is something else I need to tell you. Something else happened out there, in the bush …’

I heard Isaac tell you about Ms Hindmarsh. I heard the little cry you gave, and saw his hand reach out to touch your shoulder as you struggled against tears. I saw it all, Connolly. But at the same time, it felt as though I was a thousand miles away, and the words were just far-off specks on the horizon.

My body was tired: aching, seizing, shifting and humming. It felt as though all my joints were somehow loose and floppy. Like my limbs were made from porridge.

It felt like my brain was too full of words, memories, ideas and emotions.

Sara was dead.

Ms Hindmarsh was dead.

Mr Beagle was dead.

Rhiannah was gone –
taken.

I was a shapeshifter. I was immortal. Isaac was immortal.

And Perrin was … I could see his face. I
adored
his face. It filled my mind. But he was a
Sarco.

It was too much. It was –

Blackness hit me like a rock thrown at my head, and I was wrapped in shadows.

The lights were so bright they were like darkness. My eyes watered. It felt as though they were bleeding.

I opened my mouth, and what I wanted to be a scream came out as a whimper.

I pushed my eyes closed again, then opened them immediately. My mind was an even scarier place to be than the outside world.

I remembered.

I remembered
everything.

I am Tessa. I am a Thyla. I used to be human, a very long time ago. My mother was a prisoner. Her name was Dora Geeves. She was from England. She was transported to Tasmania and imprisoned in the female factory when she was pregnant with me. I lived in the Female Factory most of my life, apart from those few years at boarding school, when I learned to be a lady: a skill I had little use for later in life, but one of which I was intensely proud. After boarding school, the Factory became my world again. I knew how things worked there. I was tough. I was strong. I did not cry. I did not let the Flash Mob see my weakness. They were the mean women, the violent ones, the ones who refused to bow to the system. I admired them, but I hated their cruelty. I would not be like them. I would not become one of the Flash Mob. My mother was not as a strong as I was. She joined them. She said she did it to protect me. I said she was insane. She paid for her decision with her life. The Flash Mob women were the first to go. Lord and his men took them first, because they were the lowest of the low. They were the ones who certainly had no family back home to miss them. They took them and they killed them and they ate their hearts and they bathed in their blood.

I was always rebellious, in my own little way. I’m sorry, Connolly. I know you wished that I would never rebel, but I always have. I could never just sit meekly and watch injustices being committed. And sometimes, I just yearned for some small freedom. I was always safe, though. I knew the boundaries. I was sensible. I often sneaked out of my dormitory at night-time and sat in the moonlight. I liked the moon. I liked the feeling of it on my skin. Later, Isaac would tell me more about the moon: about its cycles; about how I was most powerful when it was full and weakest when it was fingernail thin.

But I knew none of that yet, as I sat in the moonlight in the grounds of the Female Factory. I knew none of that when I saw Isaac change for the first time.

When my mother was taken by Lord’s men, I begged Isaac to let me be a shapeshifter too. I knew it was the only way I would be powerful enough to avenge my mother’s death. He didn’t want to, at first. He wanted me to stay human; to stay
weak
and powerless. He said he would protect me. I wore him down. I begged him. He relented. He saw there would be no other way. And he saw I was strong and determined. He saw I would be a good fighter.

For a hundred and sixty years that flew by as minutes I fought by his side. I lived in the forest, only emerging at night-time to patrol the city. I protected the humans – first the convicts, then the prisoners, then eventually the civilian women.

When Isaac told me it was time for him to join the human world again, as Beagle had, I told him I would stay behind. Keep things running in the bush.

I sometimes fought the Sarcos. They were our natural enemies. They wanted our land. They wanted our food. They wanted to be top of the food chain. It was my instinct to hate them.

I killed a few Sarcos. I killed Rhiannah’s kin. But I wouldn’t do that any more.

Instead, I would try to help them. I would try to help Rhiannah. She was my enemy, right enough. But she was also my friend and it was my duty and purpose to find her.

I could do it. I was certain. With Isaac’s help. With Cat’s help. Maybe even with Perrin’s help.

I could do it.

I was Tessa. I was strong. I could save Rhiannah.

I needed to start now. I could not simply lie idly in my bed while she was out there. While she was
suffering
. I jerked upwards, ignoring the throbbing, pounding, sickening feeling in my head.

You were there. Looking down at me like you had been the first time. ‘How you doin’, Tess?’ you asked gently.

‘Fine,’ I said, ignoring the rasp that was scraping in my throat. ‘I’m fine. I need to get up. I need to find her. I need to help her. Where’s Isaac …
Vinnie
? Where’s Cat?’

‘Cat?’ Your face went white. ‘What do you mean? My Cat? What do you mean, Tessa?’

My stomach dropped.

When Cat had disappeared into the shadows, she hadn’t come back into the light.

I didn’t want to lie to you, Connolly. But I did. And, if you ever read this, I’m sorry. I really am.

I looked at you. I thought of how you had done so much to protect me from hurt. I looked into your eyes and I saw they were searching; pleading for some scrap of knowledge about the child you loved so much. I couldn’t give it. Your world had been turned upside down today. I couldn’t tell you about Cat. I couldn’t hurt you more, have you know that she was out there but did not wish you to find her. Instead, I would make her come back to you.

‘I didn’t mean Cat,’ I lied. ‘I don’t know why I said that. I am woolly headed just now. I meant to ask after Laurel. I wanted to know if you had rescued her from Lord.’

Your brow furrowed. ‘What do you mean, Tess?’ you said. ‘Lord? You mean
Edward
Lord? Tess, Laurel is still missing, I’m sorry. But it has nothing to do with Mr Lord. Why would you say that?’

I remembered the look Isaac had given me; the one that told me to keep Mr Lord’s activities secret.

‘I’m confused,’ I said, feebly. ‘I think I hit my head. It’s all muddled.’

‘Don’t give me anything else to worry about!’ you snapped, and I noticed for the first time the tension in your jaw and the dark shadows beneath your eyes. ‘Sorry,’ you said. ‘It’s just that this is hard for me. I am going to
try
to understand what is happening with you and Vinnie. I can’t promise I ever will, completely. But I love you both. So I will try. But all of this – Cynthia and Laurel and Rhiannah going missing – it’s a lot to deal with. And that’s not even … Hell, Tess! You and Vinnie are
werewolves.
Or were-
tigers
. Or whatever. That’s
big
, Tess. And on top of all that I feel like Cat is slipping away from me. Like somehow this is all tied together. What happened to those girls – maybe that’s what happened to Cat. Something horrible is going on out there in the bush. If Cat was involved in it, then maybe she’s gone. For good.’

‘She’s not,’ I blurted. ‘I mean, I
believe
she isn’t. And I’m going to work to get her back to you. And the others. I’m going to get them back too. I’m going to leave this school and I’m going to go out there and search for them. Every day. Until I find them. They’re my responsibility. They’re my friends.’

‘Tessa, how can you do that?’ you sighed. ‘You’re just a girl.’

‘I’m not just a girl,’ I protested, my voice rising. ‘I’m
Thyla
. I’m powerful. I know things. I can
do
things. I can do this.’

You shook your head. ‘No, Tessa. I’m sorry. I know you have this
thing
. This … were-
whatever
thing, but you are
still
a little girl. And look, no matter what I say, no matter how hard I am finding all of this, I’m not going to leave you. I’m going to make sure you get the chance at a normal life, away from all this danger. You never got to have a normal life, did you? I want that for you. So you
are
staying at Cascade Falls. You are going to stay here, and you are going to study, and you are going to
let
Charlotte Lord look out for you, and you are going to be safe. Leave the police work up to me and Vinnie, okay?’

What could I say, Connolly? I couldn’t argue with you. You were my guardian. You were my saviour. You were all I had.

I remembered what Cat had said:
‘If she knew I was still alive, she’d send me right back to Cascade Falls. And I can’t just go back there.’

Cat was gone. And now you were protecting
me
. And so I had to stay here. I had to do it for you.

So I nodded. ‘Okay, I’ll stay,’ I said.

And I will, Connolly. I will stay here. And I will be friends with Charlotte, just as Isaac is friends with her father. I will watch her. I will learn from her. I will find out secrets that will help me find Rhiannah and Laurel.

And then, when the moon is full and Thyla blood is surging in my veins; when my fingers are aching to grow claws; when my legs are yearning to push back, then I will leap the walls, and I will join Isaac and Cat and Perrin, and we will be immortals together, and together we will find my friends. And we will defeat Lord.

‘I’ll stay,’ I said again.

‘Good,’ you said. You kissed me on the forehead and pushed yourself up from my bed. ‘Well, chook, I have to go and be a big, grown-up policewoman now, so I gotta leave you, okay? I’ve talked to Miss Bloom, and she said you should stay in bed just as long as you need to. Mrs Bush is acting principal …’ Your voice faltered and I could tell you were thinking of Ms Hindmarsh again. You cleared your throat and smiled, dimly. You were trying to be strong. For me. ‘The principal will arrive in the next couple of days, but until then, Mrs Bush said if you need anything, you just sing out, okay? She has organised Charlotte to be your runner if you need anything: food, drinks, Panadol, whatever. So, you’re all set. And you just call me whenever you need me, okay?’

I nodded again. ‘Okay.’

You smiled and moved towards the door. As you opened it, I saw a shadow moving to one side, a flicker of white-blonde hair.

Charlotte.

My blood froze.

Cat believed she didn’t know everything about her father – about the evil he did. I wasn’t so sure. Those pale blue eyes of hers seemed to contain so much that was cold and wicked. I could almost believe she knew it all.

But, like Isaac said, sometimes it’s good strategy to keep your enemies close.

Just before you left, you turned to me and said, ‘Have you been writing all of this down, Tessa?’

‘Yes. All of it,’ I said.

‘Keep it hidden,’ you said, your brow furrowing. ‘Just for now. For now. I think that would be safer. And …’ Your eyes drifted to my wrist. ‘Vinnie told me about the cuffs. About what they do. About how they let you be
normal
. Please wear it, Tess. All the time. Will you do that, for me?’

I told you I would wear the cuff always. I’m sorry for lying again, Connolly.

‘Good. Good, I’m glad,’ you said. ‘I just want you to be normal. I want you to be happy.’

‘I know,’ I said. ‘Thank you.’

Then you were gone. The door clicked shut behind you, and all that was left was me and silence and a head suddenly full of one hundred and sixty years of memories. It felt as though the memories were a huge jigsaw puzzle. Most of the pieces were in place now. A few more pieces and the picture would be complete.