Time Slipping (25 page)

“You speak of Biad.”

I frowned. “Actually, no, I speak of egg salad.” Obviously this guy had a hearing problem, so I slowed down and enunciated better. “Egggggg. Saaalaaaad.”

“You smell of pixie.”

Wow
. That was embarrassing. It was like I’d walked into a church and farted the way he said it. “Sorry about that. Pixie got me back there. I tried to cut him up, but he was too fast for me.”

I heard more rumbling, more metal things clinking together, and then a movement caught my eye. On the far end of the humongous chamber was a lizard.
Cool. A lizard. A big one.
He was moving toward me. As he got closer, he became even bigger, to the point that he was impossibly large when he was looming over me. I had to strain my neck to get my head to go back far enough to see all of him.

“You are one big daddy lizard, you know that? We have lots of lizards in Florida, but not this big.”

“Give me your hand,” he said.

I looked down at my hands. “Hey, look,” I said, smiling and immediately happy, “there’s an eyeball there.” It blinked at me, this eyeball set in red. I tapped it with my fingernail. It was hard, like plastic, kind of. “Why is there an eyeball in my hand?”

A giant talon came at me, but stopped just below my hand. Slowly, it drew upward, making contact with my skin. Words were stolen from my mouth as I watched in awe. The lizard raised my hand up and maneuvered it so my palm was facing him. He stared at my palm for the longest time, and then started purring. A huge huff of stink air came out and hit me in the face.

I smiled. “Mmmm, egg salad…”

“Jayne!” One of the voices was behind me again, and it was close.
Dammit! I’m almost to the picnic!

“Go away!” I said sharply.

The dragon came out of his happy purring state and looked behind me. “Who is there?”

I waved my hand around. “Don’t worry about them. They’re just following me. It’s no big deal.”

“Be gone!” he yelled, a giant ball of flame bursting out of his mouth and rushing out to the space behind me.

I turned around to look and saw the edges of the rock behind me turning red and then fading out to yellow and black again after he was done blasting it with his hot breath.

“Wow. That was awesome. Can you do that again?”

He blinked at me once and then roared, doing the whole flame throwing thing all over again.

I jumped up and down and clapped my hands. This was way better than a picnic. This was better than anything. “Do it again!”

I stood there, facing the voices I’d heard, waiting to see an ocean wave of flame come again, but nothing happened. When I turned around to see why, he was gone. I hadn’t even heard him go.

“Hey, that’s no fair. I didn’t even get a sandwiiiiiich!” I screamed that last part when I found myself being lifted up into the air. I sailed through the massive chamber, dangling and swinging away. From this bird’s eye view, I could see everything below, including the passage I’d come through and the tiny little bug that was hovering in the entrance of it. A bug wearing clothes?
Hmmm. Weird.

I screamed with happiness and laughed and laughed as the wind blew through my hair and the sparkly things flashed by my vision. When I looked up I saw the underbelly of the lizard and realized he was carrying me in one of his great big claws and we were going somewhere.

“Yay!” I yelled, clapping my hands with glee. “I’m flying!” My stomach flipped over several times, but not in the barfy way … more like in the awesome roller coaster way.

We landed at the top of a golden mountain, on a ledge that I could see had been used as a dining room many times. The bones of several beasts were scattered around us, and a big pile of old branches and leaves formed a kind of nest on the back part of it. The dragon put me down in the branches and stood off to the side, looking at me. His head went all the way down to the ground, putting him at eye level with me when I climbed to the edge of the nest.

“Hello, Lizard,” I said, smiling at him.

“Hello, Elemental.”

My hair fell into my face, so I tried to brush it away, but that wasn’t working, so instead I blew spit and air up toward it, hoping that would be enough to get it under control. My hair moved back for a second, but then just flopped right back down. I was going to chop it off as soon as I could. Looking down, I suddenly remembered I had a knife with me. I took it out of its holder and grabbed the offending chunk of hair with my free hand.

“What are you doing?” the lizard asked.

“I’m giving myself a haircut.” I sawed and sawed at the hair until it finally gave way. I threw the clump of it over my shoulder into the nest and put the sword back in my belt. “There we go. Problem solved. Now, back to business.” I climbed out of the nest, dropping the last few feet from my hanging position above, and walked up to the lizard. “Where’s the picnic?”

“You have pixie dust all over your body.”

I looked down. “No, I don’t. I have clothes all over my body. That’s totally normal for non-lizards.”

“I will remove the pixie dust. We cannot discuss your future without clarity.”

“My future? What are you talking about? My future is so bright, I have to wear shades, baby.” I looked up to the top of my head as best I could. “Where are my shades, anyway? Have you seen them?”

Suddenly I was covered in greenish, gold colors. They swirled and fluffed over me, bringing that smell again. “He’d better not be hiding those sandwiches,” I said mostly to myself. “That’s not cool to hide perfectly good sandwiches from girls who are hungry.”

Then he was back again and the colors were gone. I was starting to get frustrated. “What are you doing?”

“Burning the dust off.”

I opened my mouth to say something about that, but never got a word out. Once again I was covered in colors and hot air and stink. It was starting to make me sick. “Hey!” I yelled. “Knock it off, would ya!”

The colors stopped. The lizard was there, smoke wisps coming from his nostrils and mouth.

Why in the hell am I standing so close to a dragon’s fangs?
I backed up a step. My stomach growled.
Egg salad? Why do I want an egg salad sandwich so bad?

The colors appeared again. I was being engulfed in flames spewing out of the dragon’s mouth. By the force of it, I’d say he was dragging that firepower from all the way back in his ass.

I pulled the Earth element into me and pictured wrapping it around me like a winter cloak. It probably wasn’t the best metaphor I could come up with, since it was already a little toasty roasty in that flame bath, but whatever. I needed protection from all the crazy stuff going down. I had no idea how long I was going to remain fireproof, but I doubted it would be for much longer.

The flames finally stopped, and I backed up until I hit a wall of tree branches behind me, eyeing the dragon suspiciously. “How did I get here?” I looked around me. “Where am I?”

“Good. You are fully here.”

I looked around me.
Yep. Two arms, two legs, one head. I’m fully here.
“Uh, yeah. It’s all me. All here.”

“You had pixie dust on you. I removed it and its effects.”

I looked closer at my arm, but didn’t see anything but a nasty cut. “I don’t see any dust.”

“I removed it,” the dragon said, slower this time.

“Jayne! Are you okay?” It was Tim, shouting from somewhere below me.

“Yeah! I’m fine!” I looked back at the dragon who’d turned and was looking downright evil mad.

“Better stay away, though! I don’t think he likes visitors!”

“Oh! Okay! I’ll wait down here!”

I smiled. Never fear, Tim is here. Kind of.

I turned around to face the dragon. “Okay, so you got me to your lair. Now what?”

“I did not get you here. You came without invitation. It is my right to kill and eat you now.”

I frowned. “Why would you do that?”

“To enter a dragon’s lair is to wish to see him dead.”

“Since when?”

“It has always been. Humans have killed dragons since they were first made aware of one another.”

“What about Ishmail? He comes to your lair and he doesn’t want you dead.”

“He does not come to my lair.”

“Why not?”

The dragon actually shrugged. It made me laugh.

“Stuck in the past, are we?” I sighed. “Take it from me. Change is good. I should know. You should invite him up for coffee or whatever. He’d probably bust a nut for the privilege.”

“Why are you here?” he asked.

“An excellent question,” I said, moving over toward the edge of the ledge we were sitting on. I was about to elaborate, but my breath was stolen from me by all the shiny things below. “Whooooaaa, duuuuude.” I turned around to look at the dragon, my mouth hanging open.

“You are impressed,” he said.

“Are you kidding? Of course I’m impressed. You have, like, a billion dollars’ worth of stuff down there.” I looked again. There were coins that shone silver and gold and maybe bronze too, busts of people’s heads in metal and marble, carriages with jewels embedded in the sides and material hanging from the window openings, chandeliers with crystals dangling, cups, plates, bowls and all manner of other things, all very fancy looking, all in one, giant mega-pile.

“I like things that shine.”

“Me too, but man, I don’t have that kind of stuff.”

“Does Biad have a treasure?”

I turned around, the mention of my dragon companion bringing me back to the real world. Or the world as real as it could be right then. “I don’t think so.”

“You do not go to her lair.”

“I do. I did. Once. But I’ve only met her once, and I only saw one of her rooms. It was more of a passageway than a room, really.”

“Tell me the story.”

I sighed. “Do you have about a year? Because that’s how long it will take.”

“I have many years.”

“Hmmm, you’re right. You probably do. But unfortunately, I don’t. I have just a few minutes.”

“I will keep you here. For one year. You will tell me your story.”

I shook my head. “No, no, no-no-no, that’s not happening. I’m leaving here very soon — as soon as I have the information I want. You can’t keep me against my will.” At least I hoped that was the case. I started to get nervous. My emotions were finally coming back online and acting normal again. I suddenly had to pee, and it wasn’t because I’d drunk a bunch of water, either.

Holy shit. I’m in a dragon’s lair, standing ten feet away from him, and he’s telling me I’m his prisoner. What. The. Hell.

Chapter Thirty-Two

I DRAGGED A BIG, DRIED out skull over in front of the dragon and sat on it, crossing my legs and acting as casual as I possibly could, all things considered. “Okay, dragon, how about this … how about I tell you some things and then you tell me some things? We can do a little quid pro quo storytelling. Does that work for ya?”

The dragon turned, curled itself into a semi-circle and rested its head on its front legs facing me. “We shall see.”

“Fine. Be that way.” I bounced my leg up and down on the other one to hide my nervousness. “So, this whooole thing started back when I was just seventeen years … cycles … old. I was living as a human being in the Here and Now, completely oblivious to the existence of fae or dragons.” I leaned in closer. “How did it start for you?”

“I was an egg.”

I nodded, realizing then that this guy wasn’t going to give me a single friggin inch in this game. But I wasn’t ready to give up just yet. I kept my sword holstered. “Fascinating.” I cleared my throat. “Anywho, I was recruited to be a fae, and as it turns out, I’m an elemental!” I threw my hands up and grinned. “Lucky me!” I leaned in. “And when did you know you were destined to be a dragon partner, hmmm?”

“When I saw him, I knew. He was mine. He will be mine forever.”

“A little possessive, are we?” I winked. “Hey, I get it. I have a boyfriend. Name’s Spike. So hot. With a nice personality too, which is really a rare combination in my world. Plus, he has these tattooooos. Hoo, boy, wow.” I waved my hand in front of my face. “Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me? Anyway, let’s not go there. Now’s not the time.” I fluttered my hand out toward the dragon, trying to distract him from the fact that I was fast forwarding my story. His eyes blinked a few times, so I felt like my moves had been partially successful.

I continued. “We had a little trouble in fae town after I joined up, what with some sneaky demons sneaking into our realm from Hell and all, so we had some arguments amongst ourselves, threw some spells around, picked sides and all that … but eventually, we came together and sent everyone back to where they were supposed to be, and all was well that ended well.” I picked at my cuticles, trying like hell to act cool.
Just channel Jared. That’s all you have to do. You can pull this off
. “Problem is, it looks like some of those demons are getting nutty again and trying to come out of the Underworld and back into our realm.” I rolled my eyes. “Crazy right?” I dropped the cuticle-fixing act and just let my hands flop around as the mood struck. “So anyway, I came out to this place called the Isle of Skye, you know, to hang out with my dragon-partner Biad, shoot the breeze, chat about the status of all the demons and such, and then I was going to head home. But some crazy witch got it in her head to throw me into
your
realm, to keep me from hanging out with Biad, so here I am.” I grinned really hard.

“You are not from this realm,” he said.

I pointed at him. “Exactly. Couldn’t have said it better myself. So the deal is, I need to get back.” I acted like I was bored out of my mind. “Back to my realm, back to my life, back to my dragon. You know the deal. Being here is great, I mean your lair is — whoo — awesome. Of course. But it’s just not
me
, you know? Not my style. Too ostentatious with all the gold and sparkly things. Biad’s more … casual, you know? She prefers dwarf skeletons and so on. She’s not much for jewelry.”

“You will stay.”

I jumped to my feet and cleared my throat, trying to slow my simmering anger. “Actually, much as I’d love to, I can’t.” I was no longer interested in story hour, and this grown-up, mature, patient person act clearly wasn’t getting me anywhere. “I need to find an entrance to your Otherworlds —Overworld or Underworld, I could care less at this point— and I need to go in there and back to my realm. And I need to bring my friends with me.”