Read To Have and to Hold Online
Authors: Gina Robinson
I was only pretending, but it felt delicious. I put the mailer under my arm and went to the counter to open the cake box. "More cake? Are they trying to fatten us up?"
I recognized the bakery name on the box—another of the finest bakeries in town. Known for their cakes. Jus was the billionaire here, but I wasn't certain he knew just what his employees had given him. I opened the box, and the cake was an absolutely gorgeous white cake with buttercream frosting covered with pink fondant and filled with raspberry rum filling. A slice was missing. The filling was oozing out.
I inhaled deeply. It was like ambrosia. It was also exactly the cake I would have picked. If I'd been getting married. In fact, it was pinned on my secret wedding Pinterest board. I let out a sigh that sounded almost sexual. That cake smelled like heaven and white chocolate. And sitting on top was the most romantic topper—a bride and groom dancing, with the groom dipping her. "I think I'm in love with your staff!"
"Another cake topper to add to our collection." Jus had released his mom and stood with his arm around her.
"Not
just
another cake topper. This is a premium cake topper from one of the premier ceramics manufacturers in the world! It's…well…it's pricey. I love it! We'll put it someplace special."
"You have a collection?" Diana looked confused.
"Lazer gave us one last night." Jus rolled his eyes.
"Enough said." Diana studied her son. "You're just in time. Dinner just arrived. I chased Magda off before she could cook. Kayla ordered out."
Her voice was neutral. I couldn't tell whether she was slamming my lack of cooking skills or not. I was a decent cook. But I needed some warning, time to shop and plan, and at least a rudimentary knowledge of where things were in the kitchen. Somehow Diana and I had muddled through and found what we needed to set the table.
Jus frowned. "What did you do to Magda, Mom?"
"She gave her the day off so we could talk," I said. "I hope you're hungry. We ordered enough for an army."
Diana frowned, as if I was pulling his leg. "She's exaggerating. We ordered enough for two women and one hungry man. One of your brothers could easily polish off everything."
Okay, I had to meet these brothers of his. Or at least get a good look at a current photo of them. I already had a healthy respect for their appetites.
"What brings you to town, Mom? Everything all right? I didn't think anything could pry you away from those hot, young rugby players."
"Don't let your dad hear you talk like that!" She laughed, as if she enjoyed his teasing. "He'll never let me manage another men's tourney again." Diana walked arm in arm with Jus to the table.
"I was talking about my brothers." He winked at her.
She laughed, a deep, rich laugh of genuine delight. She was looking at him, taking him in almost as if she was seeing him for the first time. "You've
finally
trimmed your beard. Cut your hair. And look at those clothes. You look nice." She sounded surprised. And as if she didn't quite believe her eyes.
It was clear to me she considered Jus her least attractive son and was seeing him with fresh eyes. And yes, I understood the temptation. It came from knowing him too long before he'd blossomed. Of being used to overlooking the potential that had been realized, to a large extent, now. But if you looked at him, closely, as I was now, as if you were seeing him for the very first time, he was like his mom. Not handsome in the usual sense, but interesting to look at. And not in an unpleasant way. I think she was realizing that her youngest son was attractive, too.
"You can thank Kayla for my transformation, Mom." He smiled at me as I got our dinner out of the oven where it was warming.
"Changing my son already?" Her question was a pointed as a sharp stick and barbed with accusation.
"Only in superficial things like outward appearance. I've just given him a little polish." I stopped what I was doing and walked over to take his face in my hands. "Look at him. He's got fabulous bone structure. Strong, high cheekbones. Beautiful eyes. A good nose. He's gorgeous." I smiled into his eyes, seeing myself reflected. Seeing gratitude for the lie. But was it really a lie?
"In essentials, things that really matter, there's not a thing I would change about Jus. Not
one
." I kissed him lightly and turned toward the kitchen.
Diana was staring at me with grudging respect.
I'm winning her over
, I thought.
But does that matter? I'm going to betray her in the end. When the year is over…she'll hate me.
J
ustin
Mom left around nine. She had to get up early for her return flight to Italy in the morning. Kayla and I cleaned up the dishes together. She still wasn't used to leaving things for Magda. Afterward, Kay collapsed in the sectional sofa with the Flashionista mailer in her hand.
I took a seat next to her. "Thanks for this evening. I think we did it. We convinced Mom we're the real thing."
She looked at me and smiled in a way that made my pulse race. "She's a sucker."
"Yeah? I think we're just good." I laughed to cover the fact that I hadn't been acting.
"Maybe too good." She frowned. "I think she sort of likes me."
"You sound surprised. Who wouldn't love you?"
She laughed and bumped me with her shoulder. "It's against her better judgment. Because I am obviously only out for your money." She paused. "Do you ever feel like we're getting in deeper and deeper? Like we're hurting more and more people?"
My heart thudded to a halt. It was almost as if she'd read my mind. I'd been wondering all evening whether I should tell her about that text. Now was not the time. "No. We have to do what we have to do. I still don't understand why Mom changed her mind and hopped on a plane home. It's not like her."
Kayla looked at me with wide eyes and laughed. "You are
so
naïve. Entertaining her and being grilled by her was horrible. But I'm relieved she came. What mother would have absolutely
no
curiosity about her son's new wife? No, she got you with the surprise attack, Jus. She wanted to meet me when my defenses were down and you weren't around to defend me. She's smart."
"I don't get women." I put my arm over the back of the sofa.
"But you should understand moms. It's not that hard. The good ones protect their babies to the end."
"I'm not a baby."
"You'll
always
be her baby." Kayla pulled the thong and cami from the envelope almost reverently.
She was hellbent on tormenting me. I watched, mesmerized as she caressed the smooth fabric between her fingers. Imagining her caressing me like that. Damn, I was a desperate man. Watching her, and thinking of her in those panties, was turning me on.
She was having the opposite reaction to this gag gift that I had expected.
She pulled the cami out and looked at the tag. "Your staff is awesome. These are both exactly my size." She looked me in the eye. "I love this brand! They're a highly coveted boutique company. They make some of the most expensive satin and lace lingerie in the business. A set like this can easily run nearly a thousand dollars. Your employees must really love you. And that cake, from one of the most exclusive bakeries in town?"
I hated to burst her bubble. "Kay, the lingerie was a sample they pulled from our stores. The manufacturer donated it to us for our monthly sample sale because they didn't want it back. And would rather we sell it and use the money to support our charity. And the cake, we get all our cakes from them. They're just down the street from us. The owner is a good friend of Riggins'. I'm sure they gave them a discount."
She frowned as if I didn't understand the point she was making. "I understand about samples, but
still
."
I shouldn't have dispelled her illusions. "If it makes you feel any better, I'll make sure there's something of equal value in the next sample sale, if I have to buy it myself."
She turned her eyes to me. "I've heard rumors about the fabulous Flashionista sample sales. And been salivating to go to one. Don't you have to be an employee, or friends and family?" She winked at me. "Think they'll let me into one now that I'm the boss' wife?"
"I'll make sure you get in first. New rule."
"You will not! Then they'll really hate me." She held the panties up. "Your people
do
love you. Whichever merch buyer was in charge of this until the sample sale was most definitely eyeing it for herself. Believe me, there are a bunch of disappointed girls tonight." She sighed. "For so many reasons. Not the least of which is their billionaire boss is off the market." She winked at me. "They don't know it's only temporary."
She jumped up suddenly. "I'm going to try these on."
I caught her hand. "Wait just a minute. Those belong to me."
"They're for your wife."
"They're to make
me
happy." I paused for dramatic effect. "Are you going to make me happy?"
"Depends on how you define happy." She shook the mailer. "This is a community property state. Anything we acquire after the wedding, I own half of. I'm trying my half on. What do you want—tops or bottoms?"
"We have an agreement. Flashionista and my assets are excluded in the post-nup." I tightened my grip on her wrist.
"It didn't say anything about lingerie." Her eyes were alight with teasing and flirtation.
Kay had always been a flirt. It didn't mean anything. I'd seen the way she'd flirted with Lazer last night. She couldn't turn it off. Not even with me. Damn. If only it did mean something.
"A loophole! Damn that Harry for not catching it. I'll have to talk to him about it. Ask him for an addendum."
"No addendums. That wasn't part of the deal. I won't sign one." She leaned into me until her face was inches from mine. "Which half do you want?"
"That's no way to negotiate, Kay. If you want me to give on something, you have to give me something I want."
"You're willing to negotiate?"
"Make me an offer and I'll consider it."
"Make a demand and I'll counter."
"Model the underwear for me and they're all yours. Both pieces."
"You want to see me in this skimpy underwear?"
"We're man and wife. I have a right to see your naked body. I'm only asking for a partial exercise of my marital rights—to see your skimpily clad body."
She laughed. "You're the one who agreed to no sex. This is a business and friend relationship." Her voice was full of teasing, as if she was enjoying our exchange.
"Sure. Yeah. I agreed to no
sex
." I emphasized the word on purpose. I had sex on the brain. Every night I lay wide awake next to her, itching to touch her, frustrated out of my mind.
If I was going to seduce her it was going to be a step at a time, until she thought it was her idea. Until she had to beg me. Until she realized she was in love with me. "I didn't say anything about no nudity. Still not interested in an addendum?"
She laughed. "You're sly, Jus. Remind me never to do business with you."
"You already did."
She shook her head and laughed again. "You make a good point, though. If we're going to live together for a year, we
should
lose our inhibitions. We share a bathroom. We share a bed. It would be a lot more convenient if we got over our shyness about our bodies around each other. Much more comfortable to be able to just stroll around naked in front of you like I did with my girlfriends at the sorority house."
"The girls at the sorority house stroll around naked? Damn! How did I miss that?"
Her laugh was infectious. "Jus, you were practically still an adolescent boy. There was no way we were letting you in on our nakedness."
"Or your wild parties." I was still holding her wrist.
She rotated as if trying to wrench free, and reached for her blouse with her free hand. "Want to see me naked now?"
"No." Shit, I was a horrible liar. I was hard at the thought. And damn uncomfortable, but I refused to squirm and rearrange. "Not now. I want to see you in that lingerie. When the guys at work tease me about it, I want to speak from experience about how great it is when I flip their shit back at them."
"Oh, Jus!" Her voice was full of delight. "I think I love you. You're taking this role so seriously!"
My heart stopped. Which, I was sure, was her intention. Kayla had always had me dancing on her string, intentionally or not.
"If I'm going to be back on the singles circuit in a year, I definitely want you bragging me up to all your buddies in the meantime." She leaned over so that her breasts were in my face, and I caught a whiff of her heated perfume. "Maybe I'll catch a billionaire for real!"
She had one for real. She just didn't realize it. Or want me. The thought of her with Lazer or Riggins made my stomach burn with jealousy. Her toss-away
I love you
pierced me. Damn false hope.
She may have been playing it cool, but she was excited.
"You, my dear husband, have a deal," she whispered in my ear in a voice full of seduction.
I released her wrist, hoping I could keep my cool.
K
ayla
Justin was playing with me. With him, it was hard to tell what the end game was. He was always thinking one step ahead. Was he flirting? Did he think he could get me into bed? I meant, for something other than sleeping. Was his presumed virginity making him naïve?
Casual sex was way too risky when you couldn't walk away in the morning.
But it raised the question—did I want to fall into bed with him? If the situation were different, and we'd met at a party, would I go to bed with him?
As a rebound guy, yeah, possibly. He'd be a delicious revenge on Eric. He
was
scrumptious revenge.
As I slipped into the bedroom and out of my clothes, I wondered if Jus and I would have sex at some point. Maybe to celebrate our divorce! I laughed inwardly at the ridiculousness of consummating our marriage just as we ended it.
I tossed aside my clothes and tore the tags off the fabulous lingerie.
Curses on those little plastic pieces that held the tags on.
They were almost impossible to get off without scissors.
I slipped my panties off and slid on the new thong. It fit like a dream, just a tiny triangle covering the barest essential. The cami was light pink, with lace panels strategically placed to show off my nipples. It, too, was the smoothest fabric against my skin that I'd ever felt.
I had already lost my reserve about undressing in front of the expanse of curtain-less windows. Now I marched to the mirror and studied myself. I needed one more thing. I went to the closet and got out a pair of killer stiletto heels. If I was going to strut in front of Jus to prove I had no inhibitions, I was going to really strut. As if I were on the catwalk.
I grabbed a brush and touched up my hair. Took a deep breath. Opened the bedroom door. And strutted into the living room with my hand on my hip. I'd modeled in a few charity fashion shows in college. It was amateur stuff all the girls did. It was enough to help me now.
Jus lounged on the sofa, checking his phone.
I cleared my throat.
He looked up. His eyes dilated and became round and dark. Aroused.
"Well? What do you think? Does it fit?" I stuck my hip out in the model's pose and pursed my lips into a provocative pout.
"Front looks fine. I can't believe we had this on the website. I hope we blurred out the nipples." His voice was low and sexy. His gaze fascinated with my chest. But there was still a hint of teasing in his voice.
When a guy stared at your breasts, it was hard not to bud up. It was an automatic reaction. "You should really pay more attention to your catalog. You had it on a mannequin."
"Good. We're a family-friendly site." His expression turned serious, as if he was concentrating. He studied me like he was evaluating whether his buyers had good taste and whether the Flash should carry more of the same type of skimpy lingerie. "Let me see the back." He twirled his finger. "Turn around."
"You just want to see my bare butt cheeks," I teased.
"I just want to see the fit."
Liar.
I turned my back to him.
"Nice ass," he said.
I looked over my shoulder at him. "You're not supposed to be looking at my ass. You promised to admire the panties. How do they look?" I wiggled my butt at him.
"No idea. I can't see them. They disappear."
"Must be a good fit, then." I smiled seductively. "I'll tell you this—they feel good. They're so comfortable. They're like wearing
nothing
at all."
"Good product? Great. I'll let the buyer know. We should offer this brand again."
He was pretending to be all business, but his voice was husky.
"Satisfied?" I asked.
He nodded. "Requirement met."
"Good. Because I'm not." I turned around to face him. "Take your shirt off."
"What?" He looked startled, but a challenge rose in his eyes and he set his jaw. "That wasn't part of the deal."
"Fair's fair, Jus. When my friends ask how hot you are, I want to be able to give them an accurate description." I flipped my hand, motioning for him to take it off. "Don't be shy."
"Damn you, Kay." But he laughed, stood, and, holding my gaze, unbuttoned his shirt, stripped it off, and dropped it on the sofa.
It was my turn to twirl my finger and command him to turn around. He complied without a word. Once his back was to me, he lifted his arms and flexed, exposing perfectly sculpted biceps and a wonderfully toned back. The man was a perfect triangle—broad shoulders tapering to a small waist. A tat covered his left shoulder.
I walked up behind him, stopping only inches from him. I used the tip of my fingernail and traced his tat until he shuddered beneath my touch. The tat hid a deep scar, the edges of which were worked into the design. "When did you get this?"
"After I left college. The guys and I all got tats together."
"No, I meant the scar."
He shrugged. "Some childhood accident. It's just one of many. I was a clumsy kid."
I leaned over and whispered into his ear. "Don't lie to me, Jus. You have to trust me. I spent several hours listening to your mom tell stories about you and your childhood. Despite what it looked like, she and I kind of bonded. I know how much you were bullied. I'd like to beat the crap out of whoever did this to you."
"I can handle myself. I fight my own battles. They paid," he said to me over his shoulder, his voice tight. "I wasn't strong. But I was fast. And cunning." His eyes glittered. He was perfectly serious. "Don't feel sorry for me, Kay. Everyone always feels sorry for me. Pity the other guy. I wasn't good with my fists, but I knew how to fight. And I played dirty."