To Love a Soldier (18 page)

No Worries

John

I hung up the Skype call and sat for a minute to collect my thoughts. I was mustering up the willpower to call my mom, Liz, and Mandy separately to tell them where my unit was going next week. I knew my mom wouldn’t take it well; she never did. I knew Liz wouldn’t be happy, but she would understand. I didn’t know how Mandy would handle it. Given the news she had just given me, I knew it wouldn’t go over well.

I had really been hoping to get home before Christmas, but it didn’t look like it would happen now.
I’ll have to call them all tomorrow
, I thought
.

Throwing on my fatigues, I headed out to the other room to celebrate my news with my brothers. They were standing by the pool table, cheering, when I entered. Don tossed me a beer.

“I don’t know who the fuck would sleep with you,” he said, “but here’s to being a new dad!”

Six of my closest buddies stood before me and all raised a drink. I raised mine back to them.

“Here’s to being careless,” Joe yelled. “Now you’re a dad!”

Everyone laughed. I gave Joe the finger and chugged my beer. Having a beer was like finding treasure given where we were.

“Don, I’ve seen her picture,” Bill yelled out. “The little bitch has it hanging above his bunk at night.”

“What the fuck are you doing by my bunk at night?” I asked.

“Don’t worry about that. The point is, I’ve seen the picture and she’s fucking hot.”

"Easy, asshole,"
I said, giving him a look. “Boundaries, motherfucker. Respect the boundaries or I’ll be disrespecting your face.”

“Relax, big guy. I’m sticking up for you. I’m answering Don’s question, that’s all.”

“Cheers, brother,” Paul, our team’s sergeant, said, holding up his beer.

“Cheers,
Sarge.”

We drank and played pool. The news was the best any of us had gotten all week. Many of the guys were nervous still about the upcoming deployment. Most of us had been there before, but we still didn’t look forward to going back.

I turned my attention to my brothers and our celebration. We had enough beer to keep the celebration going until the early hours. This would be the last time I’d have to drink with my buddies until we came back, hopefully as a whole unit. Unlike last time.

Third Wheel

Mandy

Grabbing my coat and purse as my shift ended, I was ready to get out. I didn’t want to spend any more time at work. Ever since I had found out I was pregnant, all I wanted to do was stay home to clean, organize, envision how I wanted to set up the baby’s room, and do it all
over again. I guess I was nesting, already!

As I walked outside, I got a text from Liz saying she and Brady would be by in an hour to pick me up. I really didn’t feel like going out, but she was forcing me. After I closed her text, I noticed I had missed a text from John right before my shift ended. He said he was going to Skype me tomorrow with news.
That’s it? He couldn’t say good or bad? He just leaves it at that? Now I have to fucking worry all night over this!
I hit reply and asked if everything was okay, staring at the sent message for any notification. No delivery.
Damn it!

Jumping in my car, I
sped out of the parking lot. I wanted to get home in time to be able to freshen up and, if I wasn’t getting a reply, I just wanted to forget I had even gotten the text. Of course, I hit rush hour traffic.

This was normal and had never upset me before, but now I felt like I was sitting in it forever. My patience was thin lately anyway and John’s text was
seriously eating away at me. Even though I had just talked to him, so it’s not like it would be bad news. Something just felt unsettling and my gut told me differently.

Finally, I made it to my exit ramp and swerved around the last few cars blocking my way. By the time I got home, I only had 25 minutes until Liz and Brady would arrive. I rushed inside and went straight upstairs
. Just as I finished getting changed, my phone rang. It was Liz.

“Hey, bitch,” I answered.

“Hey, hooch. You ready?”

“Almost. You guys can just come in. I’ll be down in a few.”

“Sounds good; see you soon,” she said, hanging up the call.

Sitting
down, I began reapplying my makeup when I heard the front door close.

“I’ll be right down,” I yelled.

“You already said that on the phone!” Liz yelled back.

It took me a few minutes longer than I’d thought, but I was finally done and ready. I headed downstairs and into the living room. My attention went to the couch, where I saw Brady’s backside covered by a blanket and two of Liz’s naked legs sticking out.

“Oh, what the fuck, you guys?” I screamed. “That’s disgusting. I have to get that cleaned now.”

“Don’t bother,” Brady said. “
Our stank can’t be cleaned out.”

“Disgusting
!”

“Oh, come on,” Liz laughed, as she pushed Brady off of her. “We’re just teasing.”

Brady got up and was fully clothed, minus his shirt. Liz got up and was wearing her skirt. She pulled it down as she stood up, laughing her ass off.

“Oh, that’s so not funny.” I shook my head. “I just pictured myself sitting down to watch TV and my pajamas getting wet or something.”

“Well, at least you wouldn’t have to worry about getting pregnant if you sat on the wet spot,” Brady joked.

“All this talk about wet spots is getting me hungry,” Liz said. “Can we go eat?”

“Oh my God!” I said, running into the kitchen to find the garbage can. I actually threw up. A few weeks ago, I would’ve been joking along with them, but now I couldn’t handle it. I finished and went back out, where they were still laughing at me.

“Great, well, you can blame yourselves for having to wait longer,” I said
, as I walked back up the stairs. I went and brushed my teeth and gargled mouthwash. When I was done, I headed back down. Brady and Liz were both standing by the door, waiting. Brady handed me my coat.

“Sorry, we kind of forgot you’re going through weird changes,” he said.

I looked over and raised an eyebrow. “Changes?” I asked.

“What
doofus meant to say is, things are affecting you differently,” Liz answered for him.

“It’s all right. It was pretty funny. I’m sorry I got upset. Normally, I’d be joking with you, but I can’t help myself. It’s like this little thing in me is controlling everything.”

“It’s all good,” Liz said, giving me a hug. “Come on, I bet you’re hungry now.”

We all laughed and headed out to the car. We grabbed fast food and rushed to the movie theatre.
Sherlock Holmes
was out and Brady really wanted to go see it. Liz didn’t care much, but she was going for him. I wasn’t really interested, especially since I was sure there would be a bunch of murders and dead bodies, and I had just seen a real dead body in Liz’s house.

We got to the theatre and bought our tickets just as the movie was starting. I
begged Brady to stand in line at the concession stand, Liz and I went in to find seats. Rounding the corner, I was surprised to find the theater almost empty. Surprisingly, there were only maybe 15 people in there and the movie was about to start. Liz and I grabbed seats in a middle row, away from most of the other viewers. The lights dimmed and the movie started. A few stragglers came in over the next few minutes and took their seats.

Liz and I had our feet up on the seats in front of us when a couple walked down the lane and sat right in front of us.
Motherfucker! I swear, every damn time! There’s a bunch of empty seats all around us, and they HAVE to sit in the two seats right in front of us! What the fuck is wrong with people?
We dropped our feet and just looked at each other with evil rage in our eyes. Liz shook her head. Moments later, Brady came waltzing in and took a seat next to Liz.

“What did I miss?” he asked, handing Liz a bucket of popcorn.

She popped a couple kernels into her mouth. “Clearly, you missed the butter.”

“Oh, sorry, babe,” he said. “I’ll go back and get butter on it.”

He handed me a bucket of popcorn and a water and then grabbed Liz’s popcorn and put the rest of his snacks on the seat. He hustled down the stairs and back out.

“Seriously?” I asked.

“What? He knows I like a ton of butter on it.”

I rolled my eyes and turned back to the screen. We were still getting through the previews. Brady came running back in, up the stairs, and into our aisle. “Here you go,” he said, handing Liz her buttered popcorn.

“Thanks, but where are my chocolate covered raisins?”

“Shit. I forgot. I’ll go grab them.”

“No, it’s fine,” she said, pulling him back down into his seat. “I’m just kidding.”

“Oh. Okay, so what did I miss?”

“Just the previews. It’s just starting now.”

“If you ask me, you
maybe missed your dignity, or possibly your manhood,” I said. Liz just laughed; Brady looked a little embarrassed. “It’s okay, peashooter.” I reached over Liz and put my hand on Brady’s thigh. “When you’re ready to become a man, give me a call.”

Liz smacked my hand off his leg and rolled her eyes. “You never cease to amaze me, bitch.”

Giving her a smirk, I turned back to the screen. We were about 45 minutes into the movie and I realized that I was actually getting into it. All of the sudden, I was happy that they dragged me out. I glanced over to give Liz a thank you smile when I saw some weird movement. She had placed her popcorn bucket on her lap so I couldn’t see what was going on. I leaned forward inch by inch until I could finally see around the bucket. Sure enough, she was tugging on Brady’s dick. I couldn’t believe that she was giving him a hand job, in the theatre, with me sitting right next to them.

Wow, Brady’s got quite a big package. Stop, stop, that’s gross.

Leaning
back into my seat, I turned my attention back to the screen. I guess Brady might have noticed that I had looked over because, out of the corner of my eye, I saw him take his jacket off the chair next to him and toss it over his lap. Liz let out a quiet chuckle.
Yup, they knew.
I was a little embarrassed, but just ignored them and kept watching the movie. At the end, we were all silent and just walked out of the theatre and to the car. After we left, we decided to grab some tacos on the fly.

“Umm. That was a good movie, huh?” Brady asked, nervously.

“Yeah, some scenes halfway through were very ‘gripping,’” Liz said, laughing afterwards.

“Oh, cut the shit!” I said. “We all know you were beating his little guy
, and I happened to look over.”

They erupted in nervous laughter. Brady turned red and made sure he didn’t make eye contact with me. Liz just laughed it off.

“And I hope that was just popcorn butter you were licking off your fingers,” I added, driving Brady’s head down like an ostrich burying its head in the ground.

“Oh, look, there’s the taco joint now. Saved!” Liz yelled.

“As long as Brady kept away from the ‘taco’ back there,” I said. “That would be too close for comfort.”

We pulled into the drive thru and placed our orders. I pulled out a twenty-dollar bill and handed it up to Brady.

“Oh, I can’t take that.”

“Please, you guys paid for the movies. It’s fine.”

“Mandy, it’s okay. Brady’s got it.” Liz said.

I wanted to say something, but knew she wouldn’t take it well.
I don’t think she realizes just how good of a guy she has and is making that ‘you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone’ mistake.
If she didn’t start treating him better he was going to leave and she’ll regret it.

“Liz,
it’s fine. Brady, take the money,” I demanded.

“Okay, thanks,” he said, taking
the money from my hand.

Giant bag of tacos in hand, we headed back to my place. I was happy that
Brady and Liz joined me for our late meal.

“Liz,” I said before they left. “I’m really worried about John.”

“Mandy, he’s fine. I’d say you’d need to get used to this, but lucky for you, he’s supposed to be home soon.”

“I guess you’
re right. I’m just not feeling right inside.”

“Look, I know he wanted it to be a surprise, but clearly you’re upset, so I’m just going to tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

“He planned on getting home by Christmas,” she said. “He put in for it and was pretty sure they would accept it, especially because his unit’s served in many different places over the years.”

“Really?” I couldn’t stop smiling. “I knew he said he should be back within a month, but he never sounded certain about it, so I didn’t get my hopes up.”

“Really,” Liz said, pulling me into a hug. “It’s going to be okay.”

I broke down and started to cry. I was filled with mixed emotions.

“Liz, I just don’t feel right about everything. I’m pregnant and he’s gone.” I sucked up some tears. “I’m scared he won’t come back to me. I’m scared I’ll be alone raising our child. I’m scared our kid will have to grow up without a father.”

“You’re not alone, Mandy. You’ll never be alone, no matter what. He’s coming back for sure, but even if God forbid he didn’t, you are not alone.”

“I’m a little
out of my element here and don’t know what to do, so I’m going to go into the kitchen,” Brady said, excusing himself.

“He’s such an ass,” Liz said.

We both laughed. Somehow Brady had lifted my spirits with his awkward aversion to female emotions. Pulling back the rest of my tears, I wiped my cheeks with my sleeve.

“You’re right. I’m fine.”

“I know I’m right.”

“I
can’t seem to get a grip on my emotions lately. Maybe it’s the hormones.”

If this is what I had to look forward to for the rest of the pregnancy, I had to hope that Liz was right.
John had to get leave because I was going to be a hot emotional mess.

“It’s understandable, just hang in there.”

“I’m trying. I just wish he was here and not God knows where in under dangerous circumstances. ”

“Brady, you can come back now,” Liz yelled. “We’re done being emotional.”

“Oh good, okay,” Brady yelled back. “I’m coming.”

He came back in the room and sat in the chair across from us. We started talking again, but I changed the subject to Liz. “So how are you dealing with everything that happened?” I asked.

“I’m dealing. There are times when it doesn’t even cross my mind, and then there are times when it’s all I can think about. I replay things in my head, even things that happened back at the party.”

“Yeah, I know. I still do the same thing.
I spent years avoiding certain social situations for fear of a repeat occurrence. Then, I decided I couldn’t live like that anymore. Even now I’ll have a trigger.”

“Yeah?” Liz asked.

“Yup, but believe me, it does get easier as time passes.”

“Good to hear and to be honest, almost every night I’m having nightmares. Some are of what happened, but most are very scary, visually, of things that didn’t happen, but I guess could’ve happened, if that makes sense.”