To Love Again (28 page)

Yes, I do. She started to leave the room, then stopped for a moment. Thank you for keeping Alessandro for me. She loved Natasha. They had been through much together. No matter what the truth was.

Natasha was still crying. I love him, and I love you. What are you going to say to Corbett?

Just what I told you.

She called him then, and he was there an hour later, looking scarcely better than Natasha had when she was through.

Isabella, all I can tell you is that I tried to tell you so many times. But something always intervened. He looked at her, heartbroken, from a seat halfway across the room. He didn't dare to come near her. I'm horrified it came out this way.

You had to push and pump and prime and find out and dig inside my head for all you could learn about the house. Well, do you know enough now? It won't do you a bit of good, you know. I'm not selling, and I had Bernardo cancel all our dealings with Farnham-Barnes as of today.

There has been no offer from F-B to San Gregorio in over three months.

I'll have to check that out. But it makes no difference. You were smart enough not to make offers while you were courting' me, maybe you figured that I was smart enough to find you out. But then what? What did you have in mind, Corbett, to marry me and charm me out of San Gregorio? You never stood a chance.

What are you going to do now?

I'm going back to Rome and kick everyone's ass right back into line.

And then what? Come back here to hide again? Why don't you bring the business with you? That's the only thing that makes any sense.

Never mind what I do with my business. You've already said and done enough.

Then I'll go now. But you must know one thing, Isabella. What happened between us was real, it was honest, I meant every bit of it.

It was a lie.

It wasn't. I love you.

I don't want to hear it! She stood up and smiled at him viciously, Nothing lasts forever, Corbett. Remember? Not even a lie. You used me, dammit! You took my faith and my heart and my body and my vulnerability, and you used me, just to add another notch to your corporate belt. San Gregorio. Well, you got me, but you won't get the rest.

I can't say I never wanted the rest. Before I met you, I did. But not after that. Never for an instant after that.

I will never believe you.

Then I'll say good-bye.

She watched as he walked unhappily out of the room. But she was already in her room packing when he waved his car away and walked alone, rapidly, head bent, back to his office.

The plane touched down at Leonardo da Vinci Airport at 11:05 the next morning. Bernardo and two guards were waiting as she came out of customs, and the greeting she gave Bernardo showed affection as well as strain. She looked exhausted, having not slept a wink on the flight It had been painful leaving Alessandro, awkward leaving Natasha, and all she had wanted to do was get away.

She had cried halfway to Rome. He had betrayed her. They had all betrayed her. Bernardo, Amadeo, Corbett, Natasha. All the people she trusted. All the people she loved. Amadeo, by dying; Bernardo by his efforts to make her sell out; and Corbett she couldn't bear thinking of it. She wondered how she would begin again, how she would even function anymore.

As she came through customs with two small suitcases she looked tiredly into Bernardo's eyes. It was hard to believe that she hadn't seen him in five months. It felt more like five years.

Ciao, Bellezza. He thought as he looked at her that the five months she'd spent in New York hadn't been very kind. She looked frail, thin, and ravaged, and there were deep circles carved under her eyes. Do you feel well? He was worried.

Only tired. For the first time in twenty-four hours she smiled.

He could sense the strain in her all the way into Rome. She was unusually reticent as she gazed silently and painfully out the window of the limousine.

Nothing has changed much. He tried to make small talk. He didn't want to talk business in front of the guards.

No, but it's warmer. She remembered how cold it had been the night of her flight.

How's Alessandro?

He's fine.

Isabella longed to see the villa but she knew she wasn't ready to. Not yet. And she had business to do at the house. It made more sense for her to stay there. There was more to it, though she could only barely admit it to herself. Having given her body to Corbett, she hadn't wanted to return to the bed she and Amadeo had shared. Now she had betrayed him too. And for what? A ruse. A lie.

She felt her heart patter softly as they pulled up in front of the heavy black door. She wanted to cry out, but all she did for a moment was stare at it. Then she was out of the car and striding into the House of San Gregorio as though she had never been gone. No one had been warned of her coming, but she knew it would be all over Rome by that night. She didn't give a damn. Let them haunt her, let them set off flashbulbs in her face; she didn't give a damn about that either. Nothing would ever bother or surprise her, not anymore. Out of long habit she inserted her key in the elevator and pushed the fourth-floor button as Bernardo watched her, stricken, unhappy.

Something dreadful had happened to her, he realized. She was dead inside. That pale, ivory face he loved so well was like a mask. He had never seen her like this, not even during those awful hours when they had waited, not during the funeral or even on her flight into exile. The Isabella he had known for years was no more.

From the end of the fourth-floor hall she walked to the door of the stairs to the penthouse, Bernardo following her up the short flight of stairs. It was then that she finally sat down, that she took off the black fedora she had worn, and seemed to relax.

Allora, va b+?ne, Bernardo?

I'm all right, Isabella. What about you? You've been gone for five months and you come home, and act like I have leprosy.

Maybe you do, she thought. She said only, Did you call F-B?

He nodded. It made me ill, but I did. Do you know what that will do to our figures?

We'll make it back by next year.

What happened yesterday? He didn't dare argue with her now. She looked too tired, too frail.

I learned something very interesting.

And what was that?

That a friend of Natasha's, whom I also thought had become my friend, had been using me. To buy the business. You may recognize the name, Bernardo. Corbett Ewing. I wasn't amused.

Bernardo looked at her, shocked. What do you mean, using'you?

She spared him the details. I never realized who he was. But Natasha knew, of course. And you did. I have no idea if you all concocted this thing together. I have no way of knowing; there is no way I ever will know. I'm not sure if that's why you insisted that I get out of Rome. It doesn't matter anymore, Bernardo. I'm home now. It's really Ewing who's the villian. The matter has been settled. I'm not selling. And I've made a decision that I should have made awhile ago. It has taken me some time.

Bernardo wondered what was coming. His ulcer twinged miserably, and he waited for her news.

I'm moving the main part of the business back with me, to the States. It had been Corbett's suggestion. But, remarkably, he'd been right.

What? How?

I haven't worked that out yet. The couture will stay here. Gabriela can run it. I can fly over several times a year. That end of the business doesn't need my constant supervision. The rest of it does. Otherwise it's impossible, it's too much of a strain on you ' and on me. She smiled again, but weakly, and watched Bernardo as he absorbed the shock. We'll work it out together while I'm here. But I want you to come with me. No matter what has happened, I need you. You've always been my friend and you're too good to lose.

I'll have to think about it. This comes as a bit of a shock. I don't know, Isabella' . But with her words she was only confirming what he already knew. He was only her friend and employee. She would never let him be more. And he realized something else. He was glad. She would always have been too much for him to handle as a lover. She was going on about her plans.

I can't live over here anymore, not with Alessandro. You were right about that. I can't take that chance. There's no reason why we can't run the entire international end from New York. And she hesitated again I've decided to take Peroni and Baltare with me, if they'll go. Of our four under directors they're the only two who speak English. The other two will have to go. But we can talk about the rest later. And I'll say one thing. She sighed softly and looked around. It's nice to see something familiar for a change. I've been damn tired of being so far from home.

But you've decided to stay there. Are you sure?

I don't think I have a choice.

Maybe not. What about the villa?

I'll close it and keep it. That belongs to Alessandro. He may come back here to live one day. But it's time I set up a home for him over there. And it's time I stopped hiding. It's been nine months since Amadeo died, Bernardo. It's enough.

He nodded slowly, trying to understand it. Nine months. And how much had already changed.

What about Natasha? I gather then that you two have had a falling-out?

You gather correctly. She didn't volunteer more.

You really think that Ewing was trying to push you?

I'm as sure as I'll ever be. Perhaps you know more about that than I do. I'll never know that either.

It was shocking. She trusted no one now. She was suddenly bitter and cold. It made him uncomfortable and it frightened him.

What he saw in the next three weeks did nothing to change his mind.

Isabella made her announcements to the directors and checked every inch of the House of San Gregorio, going from room to room to office to stock room to desk to file, on every floor. Within three weeks she knew everything that was happening and all that she wanted to know. The two under directors she'd asked to join her in New York had agreed to do so, and she had decided to hire two American under directors to work with them there. The rest of the staff was being shuttled and divided. Gabriela was immensely pleased. She would be almost autonomous now in the couture end, overseen only by Isabella, who trusted her completely. But it was there that Isabella's trust stopped. She was suspicious, untrusting, and the greatest change of all was that she didn't even fight with Bernardo anymore. She was no longer an easy woman to work for, and she was suddenly a woman whom everyone feared. Her ax could fall anywhere. Her black eyes saw everything, her ears heard it all. She seemed to have gotten over her suspicions of him but she was distrustful of everyone else.

Well, Bernardo, where do we stand?

She watched him over lunch in her office. For only a moment he wanted to touch her hand. He wanted to free her from this hideous spell, to assure himself that she was still human, to reach out to her. But he wasn't sure if anyone could anymore, not even he. The only time her voice warmed was on the phone with Alessandro; she had promised him in her phone call that morning that she was coming home soon.

We stand remarkably well, Isabella. Bernardo let the moment pass with a small sigh. Considering the kind of changes we're making, I'd say you've done splendidly. We ought to be able to set up offices in New York in another month.

That means late July, early August. It'll do. And then came the final question. The one he'd been dreading for weeks. And you?

He hesitated for a long moment, and at last he shook his head. I can't. She stopped eating, put her fork down, and stared. For an instant she looked like the old Isabella, and he was almost relieved.

Why not?

I've thought about it. But it would never work. She waited in silence while he went on. You're ready to run it by yourself. You understand the business as well as I do, better in fact than even Amadeo did. I don't know if you realize that.

That's not true.

Yes, it is. He smiled at her, and she was touched. And I wouldn't be happy in New York. I want to be in Rome, Isabella.

And do what?

Something will come along. The right thing. In time. I might even take a long vacation, go somewhere, spend a year in Greece.

You're crazy. You couldn't live without the business.

Everything has to come to an end.

She looked at him thoughtfully. Nothing is forever.

Precisely.

Will you think about it for a while longer?

He almost agreed to it and then he shook his head again. It was pointless. It was over. No, cara, I won't. I don't want to live in New York. As you said when you got here, it's enough.

I wasn't referring to you.

I know that. But it's time for me now. Suddenly, as he looked at her, there were tears in her eyes. The drawn, tired face with the big black eyes crumpled. He moved to sit next to her on the leather couch and took her in his arms. Non piange, Bellezza. Isabellezza.' Don't cry.

Isabellezza. ' At the sound of the word she turned her head and broke into sobs.

Oh, Bernardo, there is no Isabellezza anymore.