To Love and Protect (26 page)

***

When the door closed, the old man felt the tears gather in the corners of his eyes.
 
That had been the hardest thing of his life, not to gather his little girl in his arms and cuddle her close.
 
To assure her that everything would be fine and nothing would harm her again.
 
That he would protect her.
 
But he could no longer guarantee that.
 
He no longer had the strength to see to her protection.

He knew when she left the room, she hurt both physically and emotionally.
 
He did not know what exactly had happened, or how exactly she had been hurt, but it had killed him to not hold her and tell her he would make it all better.
 
Once, it seemed like years ago now, he would have done that.
 
He would have held her and let her cry out all her hurts.
 
But that was before that scheming bitch, Lorraine, and her good for nothing brother had entered their lives.

He knew he had to find a way to give Clarissa the protection she needed against such interlopers.
 
He could no longer protect her, and he still feared for both their lives.
 
Once more, he looked at the closed door.
 
He had seen the anger that had passed over Justin Southerby’s face.
 
Whether the man cared to admit it or not, he had feelings for Clarissa.
 
Southerby came from a good family and was a good man.
 
He cared about his family, the entire brood.
 
He would be a good husband for Clarissa, and he would protect her from harm.
 
He would be a good father as well.

A twinkle entered the duke’s eyes as he remembered the viscount saying they had been stranded in a hut together.
 
Alone.
 
Overnight.
 
Interesting.
 
Should he play his trump card and demand they marry?
 
Insist that her reputation lay in as many tatters as the dress she wore?
 
He must think on this, but right now he had to sleep.
 
He had stayed awake all night, worried about Clarissa, now he found himself to be exhausted.
 
The old duke drifted off, feeling better than he had in ages.

***

Clarissa woke the next morning feeling physically much better.
 
After her bath, Matilda had come up and doctored her feet and wrapped them carefully.
 
Then she had placed a pair of large, knitted socks on her.
 
Clarissa had slept deeply and dreamlessly.
 
Now, fully awake, she remembered once more the way her father had treated her yesterday.

What had happened?
 
Papa had not treated her that way in days past.
 
In fact, she remembered how when she had first gotten her flux.
 
She stayed in bed crying, thinking she was dying.
 
When Papa had heard that she was inconsolable and only kept repeating the words dying and Mamma, he had rushed to her side.
 
He had held her and rocked her until she had calmed enough to tell him what ailed her.
 
Visibly embarrassed, Papa had told her she would not die, and then quickly sent for the housekeeper to explain the finer details.

What had happened to that man?
 
Had the events of the last few weeks crushed everything kind in him?
 
Sadness, deep and unsettling, overwhelmed Clarissa at the thought.
 
She curled up in a ball under the covers, and the silent tears ran freely.
 
When there were no more tears, she pushed herself up off the bed and began to prepare for the day.
 
She looked at her face in the mirror and saw the red splotchiness and swelling, and knew she could do nothing for it at the moment.
 

Once ready, she left her room and moved slowly in search of her student.
 
Megan’s door to her room stood open, and the room lay empty.
 
Clarissa turned and eyed her room once more, and then she eyed the stairs that led to the family rooms downstairs.
 
No, she did not want to be social.
 
She heard the sound of raised voices filtering from the bowels of the house, but did not want to seek out the reason or where they came from.
 
Instead she decided to explore as much as her feet would allow.

Very carefully, she turned to climb the stairs.
 
She moved slowly and painfully.
 
Once she made it to the upper rooms, she found that they were all empty.
 
She found the old nursery and classroom.
 
Clarissa walked through the rooms, feeling like an interloper.
 
She knew she should go back to her own room; however, she found a room where the furniture cloths covered the furnishings. A large, old rocker padded with cushions sat in front of the window, the sun streaming through and highlighting it.
 
A wardrobe and bed also held a prominent place in the room, but the rocking chair beckoned her.
 

She parted the curtains and sat in the rocker.
 
She saw that it looked out over the townhouse’s private garden.
 
She swayed, back and forth, letting the rhythm carry her away.
 
Clarissa drifted off in the peace of the moment, unaware of the war being waged below stairs on her behalf.

***

“Excuse me?
 
My hearing must be leaving me at an early age.
 
Could you repeat what you just said?”

“I expect a proposal for Clarissa’s hand.”

Justin looked dumbfounded at his father and grandfather.
 
All four men were in the study, the duke having been assisted there by several burly footmen.
 
Seamus sat quietly, taking in everything.
 
Justin’s father shrugged his shoulder in a silent reply.
 
“Why would you expect that, Your Grace?” Justin demanded of the old man.

“You stayed alone with my daughter in that hut without a chaperone.”

“We were also alone looking for your sorry hide, but you didn’t demand a proposal then,” Justin countered.
 
Anger coursed through his veins at what this man demanded.
 
He had never put one hand on Clarissa.
 
Lord knows, it took all of his willpower plus some to keep him from it, but he had managed because of this particular issue.

“Only because I was too ill at the time to consider the situation, but thank you for bringing it up.”

“Damn your dark soul,” Justin growled.

“Justin, be respectful,” his father barked.

“How can I be respectful to a man who refused to take his only daughter in his arms yesterday and make certain she was all right?
 
Clarissa received more attention from my family than she did from you,” he accused turning on Hamilton.
 
“Did you even look at her?
 
Did you see the hurt in her eyes?
 
She needed you, dammit!”

“Justin,” he heard his father’s voice, but barely.

“Do you know that she almost died?” Justin asked in a menacing voice.

“You exaggerate,” the duke rebuked.

“Let me paint you a picture, Your Grace.
 
We, your daughter and I, are in a valley celebrating her belated birthday, when a storm blows in.
 
I imparted some truths to Clarissa that upset her, and she went for a walk.
 
I saw a lightning bolt hit something not far away.
 
The resulting thunder so loud, it vibrated the ground causing a huge boulder to be jarred loose.
 
Clarissa had fallen to the ground at some point and could not move out of the way.”

“What are you saying?” Hamilton asked, anger lacing his words.
 

“When I found her she was seconds away from being crushed, and she didn’t act as if she was moving very hard to get out of the way.”

“Are you trying to say my daughter intentionally risked her life?”

“I am only relaying to you what I saw.”

“You lie,” the old man growled.

“One thing my grandson does not do is lie,” Seamus spoke up for the first time, fire in his eyes.

“Then...”

“I saved Clarissa’s life.
 
She should have the freedom to choose who she wants, not be forced into a marriage.
 
By the way, she knows about the will.”

“What?”
 
Hamilton’s voice shook, and his face lost its color.

“She knows the stipulation you put on the will.
 
How dare you do that to her when all she ever wanted was to look after you?”

“I did what I thought was best.
 
She didn’t need to hang around, caring for an old man.
 
Besides, I needn’t explain myself to some young pup.”

“Ah, but that is exactly what she wanted to do.
 
Now she is liable to not marry just to spite you.”

“Nonsense.
 
All young women want to marry, and she will do so if I tell her to.”

“You do not know your daughter very well.
 
She has changed since you have been missing.
 
Now, I believe this conversation is over,” Justin turned to walk out of the room.

“She has a sizable dowry,” the duke said hoping to entice.

“I will not accept money just so that your conscience feels better, Your Grace.
 
But I will tell you this, I will do all in my power to convince Clarissa to marry me.”
 
Hamilton started to speak, but Justin held up his hand to stop him.
 
“It is not because of you that I do this, but because I truly care for her.
 
She is a strong and courageous woman, and I would be proud to have her as my wife.
 
I also do this because I am afraid that she might one day end up with someone that will not appreciate her just to spite you.
 
I would appreciate it if this conversation did not leave this room.”
 
Justin turned and left the room, making a conscious effort to not slam the door shut behind him.
 
Inside he seethed at the audacity of Clarissa’s father.
 
Did he not realize how very special his daughter was?
 
Did he not see the strength of her character?

Justin climbed the stairs with the intent of finding Clarissa and letting her know just what a wonderful father she had.
 
She needed to be prepared in case the duke cornered her and pressed the idea of marriage upon her as well.

He entered her room after knocking and not hearing a response.
 
The bed remained unmade and the room empty.
 
He searched both the sitting room and his sister’s rooms on the floor to find them empty also.
 
Justin saw one of the maids out of the corner of his eye and questioned her.
 
Reporting that she had seen no one, Justin stood in the hallway and tunneled his fingers through his hair.
 
A strand fell rakishly across his brow.

Hands on hips he looked both upstairs and down trying to determine where she would go.
 
Knowing Clarissa, she would have been bored and attempted to corner his sister into a lesson.
 
However, he knew that Meggy had escaped to the mews to be with her horse.
 
He climbed the stairs and looked into the schoolroom and found it empty.
 
Justin almost turned to go downstairs when he saw the door to the room across from him standing wide open.
 
He looked inside and saw most of the furniture veiled in Holland covers.
 
All except for a rocking chair that sat in front of the window. Clarissa sat there, apparently asleep, the sun bathing her in light and warmth.

She looked beautiful in this relaxed state.
 
Her blonde curls fell about her shoulders beckoning him to come closer.
 
In that moment he knew he could tell her nothing of what her father had demanded downstairs.
 
He could not damage their relationship any further.
 
Even now, he felt bad that he had put doubts into her mind on their picnic.

Justin walked over and sat down with his back against the wall below the open window.
 
He smiled slightly as he heard a snuffling snore escape her.
 
The room darkened slightly as he sat there, and a thunderclap could be heard in the far distance.
 
Clarissa jerked awake at the sound, her face carried a startled expression.

“It’s all right,” Justin soothed, reaching out to cup her calf.
 
“The storm is far off.”

“I’ve never been frightened of storms,” Clarissa explained, placing a hand over her racing heart.
 

“You have every right to be after your latest experience with them.
 
What are you doing up here all by yourself.”

“I had thought to find your sister.
 
I grew bored of my own company, but she seems to be hiding from me.
 
I decided to go exploring instead.”

“She is with her horse.”

“Ahhh.
 
She used my accident to get out of her lessons.
 
Well, I can’t say that I blame her.”

“Would you have done so?”

“Well, no.
 
I don’t guess that I would have.”

“Because it was expected of you?”

“Yes.”

“Have you ever not done anything that was expected of you?”

“I accompanied you to find my father.”

“Other than that?”

“No. I have lived a rather boring life.
 
I have always said the right thing and done the right thing.
 
It is easier to follow society’s dictates rather than carve my own way.
 
As much as I admire her, I don’t think that I could be like Mikala Simmons, ignoring society and doing as I please.
 
Regardless of what I promised myself I would do.”