To Love & Protect Her (9 page)

“Good morning,” he said, his voice raspy with sleep.

“Good morning to you, too.” She tried to make her voice light and careless, and was afraid she'd failed miserably.

“You had a nightmare last night,” he said, his hands tightening on her as she tried to pull away. “I couldn't wake you up, so I decided to stay with you until you fell back to sleep. I guess I fell asleep, too.”

“Thanks.” She gave him a casual smile, and tried to pull away again.

“Anytime.” His voice deepened, and his arms shifted around her, pulling her more snugly against him. “Do you remember what it was about?”

She shook her head. “No,” she whispered. His hand was drifting slowly down her back, then brushing over her hip, and she was having a hard time speaking. “I don't remember.”

“Do you have nightmares often?”

“I don't think so.”

“It must be the kidnapping attempt.”

“Hmm?” He'd burrowed his other hand beneath her cardigan and splayed his fingers against her side. Heat pulsed into her, spreading like liquid fire.

“I didn't mean to stay here for the rest of the night.”

“It's all right,” she managed to say. “I appreciate it.”

“Do you?”

He nuzzled against her neck, and the stubble from his beard rasped against her skin. She shivered once, helplessly, as desire burst into life inside her.

“I know you were just being kind,” she gasped.

“Kind?” His mouth drifted down her throat and his tongue dipped into the hollow above her collarbone. “I'm not kind, Willa.”

“You've been very kind to me.”

He raised his head and looked at her. “Is that what you think? That I'm kind to you?”

She nodded, unable to look away from the heat in his eyes. “Yes,” she whispered.

“Kindness isn't what I feel for you,” he muttered, then bent his head to her again. His mouth swept over her chest, exposed by the neck of her T-shirt. Suddenly he cupped her breast in one hand, his heat searing her through the thin material. Then he shoved the neck of her shirt down and took one of her nipples in his mouth.

She arched up to meet him, her primal need shocking her with its intensity. Griff shifted abruptly, pinning her beneath his weight. She felt the hard length
of him probing against her, and she moved to accommodate him.

His hand trembled against her, then she felt him gather himself and withdraw from her. He pulled her T-shirt back up over her breast and smoothed his hand down her chest. “Time to get up,” he said.

She scooted away from him and sat up, leaning against the couch as she watched him stand and look around. “What an interesting way to wake up in the morning.”

He scowled at her. “It wasn't what I planned when I lay down with you, believe me.”

“And here I was hoping,” she murmured.

He gave her a sharp glance. “We've already discussed this, Willa. You know how I feel.”

“No, Griff, I don't. If you want nothing to do with me, why did you stay with me last night? Why didn't you just wake me up, and go back to sleep? And why did you kiss me just now?”

“I already told you, I didn't mean to fall asleep with you last night. And I wasn't awake yet when I kissed you,” he snapped. “I wasn't thinking.”

“I like it when you don't think.”

“It's dangerous when I don't think. I already told you why I can't get involved with you.”

“And I told you that you were wrong. We're all alone here, Griff. No one knows where we are. You're not endangering me.”

“That remains to be seen.” He walked away and looked out the window. “Let's get going. I want to get into El Paso for that belt, and back as quickly as
we can. The longer we're there, the more chance we have of being spotted.”

“All right.” She scrambled to her feet. “I'll change my clothes and we can go.” She looked longingly at the kitchen. “I suppose there's no time to make coffee, is there?”

He turned around, and his face softened. “We'll stop at a take-away restaurant and get some.”

“What's a take-away restaurant?”

“Someplace that has a window where you stay in your car and order your food. They're all over in America.”

“A drive-thru.” Her lips twitched. “I'll hold you to that.”

She turned and hurried into her bedroom. She saw her breath in the air, and realized Griff was right. It got too cold at night in the mountains to stay here without a working generator.

In ten minutes she was ready to go, and she emerged into the living room in time to see Griff strapping himself into a shoulder holster. He slid his gun into it, then put on his jacket.

“Are you sure you can carry that gun around here?” she asked, fascinated in spite of herself. He seemed so comfortable carrying the ugly, deadly weapon.

“Believe me, Willa, if I have to use it, the kidnappers aren't going to ask me if I have a permit.”

“What if the police see it?”

“They won't see it unless I want them to see it.
And that's not going to happen.” He grabbed the broken belt and shoved it into his pocket. “Let's go.”

They drove in silence down the trail that led to the road. Griff had distanced himself from her after he'd kissed her that morning, but she was very aware of him in the close confines of his truck. If she reached out a hand, she would touch his thigh. When he shifted gears, his hand almost touched her.

By the time they reached the outskirts of El Paso, the truck felt much too warm. She was relieved when they saw the first buildings. She needed a distraction from Griff's presence.

“There's a place we can get coffee,” she said.

He glanced at it and kept on going. “Not there.”

“What was wrong with that place?”

“There aren't any people in line. We want to go to a place where there's a lot of business. Where they serve one person after another. That way they'll be less likely to remember one person or any particular car.”

“You'd better let me drive, then, and order. Anyone will notice your accent.”

He gave her a sharp glance, but nodded reluctantly. “You're right.” He looked out the window and pulled into a parking lot. “Here's a place with a lot of business.”

He stopped in the parking lot beneath the familiar red-and-yellow sign, and they quickly switched places. Then Willa drove into line at the drive-thru.

“Do you want anything besides coffee?” she asked.

He gestured at the menu. “A couple of those breakfast sandwich things.”

When they got close to the window, he said quietly, “Don't let the person at the window get a good look at you. Give him the money, take your food and coffee, and look away as quickly as possible. And if there's a problem with your order, for God's sake, don't say anything.”

Her hands clenched the steering wheel as they crept closer to the order window. She had her money ready, and the young man who took it gave her the change quickly, looking bored. When he handed her the sacks of food and cups of coffee, she thanked him and turned to hand the bags to Griff.

Without looking back at the young man, she drove away and parked in the lot once more. Then she and Griff switched places again. Sitting back on the passenger side of the truck, she leaned against the seat, her heart pounding. When she took the cup of coffee that Griff handed her, some of the dark liquid slopped over the side of the cup. Her hands were shaking, she realized.

“I guess I'm not cut out for this spy stuff,” she said weakly.

“You did great.” His voice was soft and intimate in the small cab of the truck. “You did exactly what you needed to do.”

“You mean I have a future as a secret agent?”

He studied her for a moment, then, to her surprise, smiled.

“I hope not. You'd terrorize everyone in the business. They wouldn't know what to make of you.”

“I hope that's a compliment,” she said, trying to make her voice light.

“Absolutely, Blue.” He handed her the sack containing her pastry. “Let's eat. I know you're already suffering from coffee deprivation.”

Fifteen minutes later they were back on the road, looking for a home-improvement store. “I've seen those huge stores,” Griff said. “They'll probably have what we need, and they're so busy that no one will remember us.” He changed lanes and turned into a parking lot. “Here's one.”

They found a display of black rubber belts of various sizes, and spent about ten minutes searching for one that appeared to be the same size as the broken belt from the generator. “Now we need to find one a little bigger, and one a little smaller,” Griff said.

“Whatever for?”

“Just in case this one doesn't work. We don't want to have to come back here.”

“Good thinking,” she said.

He grunted as he sorted through the sizes of belts. It didn't take long to find several in slightly different sizes. “These'll do. Let's take all of them.”

“All right.”

As they walked through the store, they saw a clerk with a stack of boxes ahead of them, staggering up the aisle. They both moved to the side, pressing against the display rack so that he could pass, but he
tripped on something and the boxes tumbled from his arms.

“Oh, God, I'm sorry.” The young man turned to them, his face bright red. “Did I hurt you?”

“We're fine,” Willa said with a smile. “None of them touched us.”

The clerk's eyes widened as he looked more closely at her. Then his mouth fell open. “Dr. Simms?” he said.

W
illa felt herself pale as she recognized one of her students from the previous semester. “Pete.” Her voice was faint. “What are you doing here?”

“Making some money over Christmas break,” he answered cheerfully. He seemed to have gotten over his embarrassment at dropping the boxes. “How about you?”

“We're, ah, on our way to California for the holidays, and we realized we needed a few things,” she improvised desperately. “We figured we could find it here.”

“We've got just about everything,” the young man said, his voice proud. “Can I help you find the part you need?”

“No, we're all set,” she said quickly.

“Then have a good trip,” he said, bending to pick up the boxes. “Maybe I'll be taking one of your classes next semester.”

“That would be nice,” she said, as Griff pulled her away. They hurried around a corner before Pete could say anything more.

“Hell.” Griff proceeded to let out a long string of curses. “What damn bad luck.”

“I thought you were being ridiculous to worry about seeing someone I knew,” she said in a low voice. “I can't believe we ran into Pete.”

“You did a good job,” he said gruffly. “Telling him we were on our way to California was a stroke of genius.”

“It was the only thing I could think of,” she admitted.

They had reached the checkout counter, and Griff didn't say anything while he paid for the belts.

When they were back in the parking lot, he took her hand and twined their fingers. “It's probably all right,” he said softly. “Pete will remember seeing you, but the chances of anyone asking him about it are very small. And if anyone does ask, he'll tell them we're on our way to California.”

“So there isn't going to be a small army of heavily armed men storming the cabin in a few hours?”

His lips twitched. “I had no idea you had such a melodramatic mind. No, I think we're probably still safe. But we'll have to be careful for the next few days. And it was a good lesson in why we need to stay away from El Paso. It was just bad luck that we ran into Pete. We don't want to take any more chances like that.”

“We should probably stock up on groceries while we're here, then.”

Griff opened the door to his truck, then swung into the driver's seat. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as he thought, then finally turned to her. “You're right. If we wait until the afternoon when
it's busier, there'll be less chance of someone remembering us. But there's more chance to run into someone you know. So let's go find a grocery store.”

They hurried through a large grocery store, tossing whatever they thought they would need into the cart. The bored check-out clerk snapped her gum and barely looked at them while she scanned their groceries, and they were back in the truck in less than a half hour.

“Let's get out of here,” Griff said, and they headed for the edge of town.

Willa watched him as he drove, and noticed he constantly checked the rearview mirror. Neither of them spoke, and tension wound tighter and tighter in the truck. Finally, when he glanced in the rearview mirror one more time, Willa said, “Is someone behind us?”

“There are a couple of trucks.” He spoke through his teeth. “We haven't gotten far enough off the main road yet to really worry, but I don't like the way these two are sticking to our tail.”

“So what do we do?”

“We keep driving, and watch them.”

Several miles before the turnoff for the cabin, Griff slowed the truck, then pulled over to the side of the road. “I need to get a look at these two,” he muttered. Keeping one eye on the rearview mirror, he reached for Willa. “It's show time, sweetheart.”

Before she had a chance to ask him what he meant, he pulled her into his arms and fastened his mouth to hers. Her heart began to pound, and she reached up and twined her arms around his neck. But there was
no passion in his kiss, no feeling. In fact, he was staring out the side window of the truck as his mouth moved on hers.

“What's going on?” she managed to say.

“It's all for show,” he muttered, lifting his mouth away from hers only far enough to speak. “I want to see who's behind us, and I want them to think we're not paying attention.”

“Oh.”

Deflated, she felt like an utter fool. But she held onto him, knowing she had to play the part. As the rumble of the first truck became louder, she felt him tense in her arms. He lifted his mouth away from hers, and she felt him staring over her shoulder.

Then the sound of the second truck approached, and he kissed her again. But his eyes were wide open, and she wasn't certain he even realized he was touching her. She was his cover, his prop, and his hands were completely impersonal.

The second truck rolled past, and as its sound faded into the distance, she could feel Griff relaxing. Finally he flexed his hands on her shoulders, and leaned back to look at her.

“They're gone.”

“I heard.” Resolutely pushing her need for him into the background, she tried to give him a smile. “Did you see anything?”

“Just a couple of Texas boys driving their pickup trucks. They weren't interested in us at all.”

“So we're safe for now?”

“That remains to be seen.” His eyes darkened, and
he slowly drew her closer again. “I'm sorry I had to do that, Willa.”

“You weren't even thinking about kissing me,” she burst out, then felt her face redden. “I mean, I knew it was just for show. I knew you were just using me as a prop. It's all right, Griff. There's nothing to apologize for.”

“I think there is.” He bent his head slowly, staring into her eyes. Her heart raced and her pulse thundered in her ears. “When I kiss you, Willa, I don't
want
to think about anything, or anyone, but you. I want to take the time to enjoy you. I want you to know I'm kissing you.”

He didn't have to worry about that, she thought as her heart gave a little hiccup. Her pulse skittered when he merely looked at her. When he touched her, her heart rate went off the charts.

“Believe me, Griff, I know when you're kissing me.” She tried to sound cool, but she was afraid her words came out wobbly and unsteady.

“Are you sure?”

His whisper was seductive, and as he bent his head to her mouth, she felt herself falling helplessly into him. Yes, she was sure. No one but Griff had ever evoked this instant response, this immediate blaze of desire. And she was afraid no one else ever would.

He crushed her mouth beneath him, his hands claiming her as his. A hot spike of arousal leapt to life inside her and she pressed closer to him. He groaned into her mouth, kissing her once more, then slowly eased away.

“We have to get back to the cabin before someone else comes along.” His voice was thick with ardour, and his eyes burned. “We can't stay here.”

“I know.”

He let her go, but she felt his reluctance in the lingering caress of his hands. Then suddenly he turned and restarted the truck, pulling out onto the road with a squeal of tires and a grinding of gears.

He tore up the road, barely slowing his speed when they got to the track that led to the cabin. Willa held onto the strap above the door as they bounced over the holes and rocks in the road.

When they were almost at the cabin, Griff slowed the truck and looked over at her. “Sorry, Willa,” he said. “I was taking out my aggression. I didn't mean to give you such a rough ride.”

“That's all right,” she managed to say. “I won't break.”

“No, you won't, will you,” he murmured.

She looked over at him sharply, but he was staring straight ahead, out the windshield. There had been longing and regret in his voice, and she wondered why.

When they reached the cabin, he stopped the car in front, and jumped out. “Wait here,” he told her. “I'm going to check on things.”

He circled the cabin, peering at every window, then disappeared into the trees surrounding their small clearing. Finally he returned to the truck and climbed back in. “No one's been around since we've been gone,” he said as he drove the truck into the shed.

“Great. Let's get that generator going.” If he could ignore what had happened on the road, she could, too, she thought.

It only took a few minutes to replace the belt and get the generator started again. But instead of heading back into the cabin, Griff said, “I'm going to chop some more firewood. We used up a lot last night.”

There was still a huge pile of logs stacked against the side of the cabin, but she didn't say anything. She only nodded. “Good idea. I'll help.”

He narrowed his eyes. “There's only one splitter and ax,” he said. “Why don't you wait in the cabin?”

“Because it's cold in there. I'd rather be out here, working.”

He scowled at her. “Well, I don't need any help.”

“I'll stack the wood after you chop it,” she said, ignoring his words. “I'm going to see if there are any gloves in the shed.”

A few minutes later she walked out of the shed, pulling on a pair of worn leather work gloves. Griff was already chopping wood. He'd stripped down to his T-shirt, and the black material already clung to him, wet with sweat down his back.

His muscles rippled in the sunlight, and his brown hair gleamed with golden highlights. She stood and watched him for a moment, feeling her own yearnings stir. But it wasn't just the external package that attracted her to Griff. She'd met plenty of other men who were good-looking and had great bodies. It was
the person inside who interested her, the complicated man full of both strength and vulnerability.

And he was interested in her. He wanted to deny it, but she could taste it in his kisses, feel it in the way he touched her, the way he held her. Her heart raced as she walked toward him, but she managed to give him an easy smile.

“Kick the wood out to me when you split it, and I'll stack it.”

He grunted at her, but he shoved the wood toward her with his foot. She picked it up and stacked it in the already huge pile next to the house. She didn't mind working outside. The air was cool, but the sun, shining in a cloudless sky, warmed her as she worked.

It wasn't long before she took off her jacket, and as she worked she felt herself beginning to sweat. Rolling up the sleeves of her shirt, she grabbed another log and slung it onto the pile.

Abruptly Griff said, “That's enough, I guess.”

She straightened and looked over at him. His face was flushed, but it wasn't with exertion. His eyes glittered and his jaw worked as he looked at her.

“It's time to go into the house.”

“What's wrong?” she asked.

He stared at her for a moment, then he turned and dropped the ax. “I can't watch you for another moment,” he said, his voice rough. “I wanted to chop wood to get my mind off you, but I can't think of anything but you. I'm getting careless, and it's time to go into the house.”

“All right.” She slipped off the work gloves, staring at his back. “I'll put the tools away.”

“No, I'll do it. Give me your gloves.”

He tore them out of her hand, then picked up the ax and splitter and loped off to the shed. She waited for what seemed like a long time, but he didn't come back out, so she finally walked into the cabin.

She had sandwiches made when he finally returned. After washing his hands, he looked at the plates of sandwiches, his expression softening. “Thank you for making lunch, Willa.”

“You're welcome. But don't act as if it's such a big deal. You're going to clean up.”

His lips curved. “Fair enough.”

They ate in silence, but the memory of his words outside lingered between them. Willa swallowed another bite of her sandwich, desperately searching her mind for something innocuous to say.

“It's getting warm in here, isn't it?” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she flushed. “I mean, the generator is working just fine.”

“I was hot before I came inside.”

Willa squirmed in her chair. “Hard work will do that.”

“Among other things.”

The message in his eyes was unmistakable, and she stared at him, unable to look away.

Then he pushed away from the table. “I'll clean up in here, then I have some things to do outside.”

“All right,” she said faintly.

The cabin was suddenly far too small. Tension ra
diated from Griff as he stood at the sink and washed the dishes. She wanted to touch him, to ask him what he was thinking, but she couldn't move from her chair.

Did she really want to know the answer? Griff was attracted to her. What if he told her that he wanted to make love with her, but he wasn't interested in any kind of long-term relationship? What would she do?

She was terribly afraid she
knew
what she would do, and her heart ached at the thought. She was afraid that she would take whatever Griff offered, on whatever terms he offered it.

What had made her so needy, so willing to settle for crumbs? What had made her so willing to compromise her beliefs? Never before had she been interested in sex without commitment. She didn't want to think about that, either.

So she stood and moved to the window. She couldn't bear to sit so close to him, to feel the sexual energy that emanated from him. She couldn't bear to look at him right now, because all she would see were the flaws in her own character that would permit her to want a man who wasn't interested in the long term.

“I'll be back in a while,” he said, and she didn't turn around. “Stay in the cabin.”

“It's not like there are a lot of places to go up here.” Her voice was more curt than she meant it to be, but maybe that was for the best.

“I'll be close by.”

The door closed softly behind him. As she looked out the window, she saw him disappear into the trees.