Tomorrow Is Today (2 page)

We took a couple minutes to write down a few things, but I didn’t press him for too many directions because the snapping was really getting to me, not to mention the pencil drumming. My insides ripped apart as I focused on an hour ago…

I ended up in my room again, just as I was hoping, because another me was wandering around the living room, chatting with everyone and I knew I hadn’t come into my room until much later. Now, all I had to do was get to the kitchen without seeing the other Jackson.

The second I stepped into the hall, I ran into a giant dude carrying a very full cup of beer. The cup toppled over, landing and splashing Holly, who was standing outside the hall bathroom, probably waiting for a turn to pee.

“Oh my God!”

“Ahh…crap,” the big dude said.

I just stared at Holly as beer dripped down her dress and even from her hair. “I’m sorry. That was my fault.”

She looked down at the floor. “Oh man…your carpet is going to be ruined.”

“Don’t worry about that.” I steered her into my room. “I have a bathroom in here. You don’t have to wait in line.”

She stood in front of the full length mirror attached to the bathroom door and started laughing. “I knew I should have stuffed that spare dress into my purse.”

“Do you want something to change into?” I rummaged through my drawers and found an old pair of sweat pants and an
Arctic Monkeys
t-shirt. My hands froze on the drawer before handing her the clothes.

This isn’t real…it’s a time-jump. I’m not changing anything
. The stained carpet really wouldn’t matter and I could just leave Holly here to fend for herself and she’d have no memory of this weird event.

“Thanks.” She grabbed the clothes from my hands and dove into the bathroom. “There’s no lock on the door? Can you make sure no one comes in here?”

“Sure,” I answered before I could talk myself out of this diversion. She came out a couple minutes later, drying her hair with a towel. I took the soiled dress from her arms. “Want me to wash this for you? You probably don’t want to bring it home reeking of Budweiser.”

“You don’t have to do that,” she said, biting her lip. “Actually…on second thought…that would really eliminate a lot of possible problems.”

“It’s no big deal.”

“How does my hair smell? Like a brewery?”

There was something in her expression that made me think she wanted me to move closer. To invade her personal space but not in the overly flirtatious way a lot of people do. It was almost like pure curiosity.

This was something I’d felt from the moment I’d laid eyes on Holly. What would it be like to kiss her? And now I could find out without any repercussions. Without it meaning a damn thing.

I touched my nose to her hair and breathed in deep. One of my hands lifted, combing through it and she drew in a quick breath.
This is wrong…. is this wrong?

“It’s…uh…your hair smells fine.” I moved my head back and her eyes met mine, wide and confused but also staying…so, I went for it.

My mouth touched hers lightly at first and then my hands were on her face, drawing her even closer. But everything I wanted to feel and taste was dulled. Like being at a rock concert and not being able to see the stage. Her mouth should have felt hot, she should have tasted like something…something so…
Holly
. And why couldn’t I smell her shampoo? I had memorized the fruity watermelon scent weeks ago. Today, nothing.

Because this isn’t real
. It was like a fantasy. Or daydreaming.

I quickly pulled away, dropping my eyes to the floor. “I’m sorry, Holly…that was…” I looked down at her and let out a breath. “Can we forget that ever happened…please?”

The question was more directed at me than her. I already knew she wouldn’t remember a thing. And that’s what bothered me more than anything. But I still waited until getting a slight nod from Holly before leaving this crazy experiment.

“So…? Back in the land of the living yet?” Adam said when I jerked back to reality.

“Yeah, I’m back.” I got up from my chair and walked around the room for a minute before stretching out on the bed. “I deviated.”

“Okay…?”

I couldn’t look at him after what I’d just done with Holly, so I stared up at the ceiling. “Instead of the eating thing…I thought maybe I’d try kissing…
someone
. See if it…felt different.”

Adam nodded his agreement. “Cool. We needed more proof that you aren’t altering the future by changing the past.”

“I’m not and you know it.”

“Sorry, I’m so messed up tonight. I should have more to offer this scientific study.” He rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes.

“Hey…it’s your birthday. You
should
be messed up. Seriously. We can go over everything in more detail tomorrow.”

“I should be drunk,” he corrected. “Not trying to control my limbs and keep my heart rate under two hundred beats a minute…Do you know what my parents got me for my birthday?”

“Government security clearance? A make-your-own-explosives kit?” I joked, trying to lighten his uncharacteristically dark mood.

He laughed and shook his head. “A set of encyclopedias.”

“Who uses encyclopedias? Isn’t that what Wikipedia is for?”

“Exactly,” Adam said with a sigh. “As soon as I saw all those books, it was like instant proof that my parents are completely oblivious to the fact that I would never need to read an encyclopedia…there’s not much in there that I haven’t already memorized…in elementary school.” He rubbed his face hard with hands. “I love them…I do…but we live on completely different planets and there’s nothing I can do to change that. I’m sick of pretending.”

“Yeah, maybe drinking tonight would be have been better for you than going home three hundred dollars richer,” I said because it was the most honest response I could come up with.

“Probably.”

I kept quiet for a long moment, my eyes still focused on the ceiling. “How come you never mentioned David?”

“I don’t know…never came up, I guess.”

“So, that explains why you guys aren’t together? You and Holly…everyone at camp thought—”

Adam’s light laughter stopped me. “Yeah, David’s part of that equation, but also…she’s Holly Flynn…I’ve known her since freshman year…we watched each other get zits and food stuck in our braces. Those images tend to get etched into your head. Kinda kills any potential romance.”

So, maybe if I imagined Holly with food-covered braces and blemishes everywhere I’d be able to stop thinking about her
and kissing her in time-jumps
? I wasn’t sure that would be enough.

Maybe I could get her to dump her boyfriend and go out with me? And then what?

The loud banging on my door distracted me from plotting my next move. I flung it open and saw Danny. “What?”

“Party’s over man,” he whispered. “The RA just left…we’re kicking everyone out before he gets back with the security guard.”

I stepped around Danny and made my way across the living room. I could hear Adam’s footsteps not too far behind me. The music had been shut off and the room was already more than half way cleared out.

“Sorry about this,” I said to David and Holly, who were still sitting on the couch, but looked more than ready to bolt at the sight of Adam.

“No problem,” David said. “Holly’s always looking for risk-taking excitement.”

Holly laughed a little, then laid her head on his shoulder, yawning and closing her eyes. “This should cover me for awhile. I can go back to normal tomorrow.”

David shook Holly’s shoulders. “No falling asleep here…I’m not carrying you to the subway station. It’s six blocks.”

But the way he said this, the affection in his voice, I had to wonder if he would carry her. Is that what people do?

And as they got ready to go, I found myself watching the two of them a little too closely…things like David putting Holly’s coat around her shoulders and kissing her cheek, the way he made sure Adam could walk a straight line and didn’t need to be steered. I knew I’d never go through with my plan to get Holly to dump her boyfriend. Not because I thought she wouldn’t ever want me, but because he was better than me. Much better.

June 8, 2009, 6:05am

Paper Airplanes
by MIA blaring from my phone woke me up with a jolt this morning. I fumbled in the dark and managed to get the phone to my ear before it stopped ringing and went to voice mail.

“Dude, you up?” Adam said.

“I am now.”

“First day of camp! Ready for work, rich kid?” He laughed into the phone and I could hear another muffled laugh in the background…and the train. He must have been on his way already…
with Holly
.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes and glanced around the room. “Sure…or at least I
will
be after a shower and some coffee. How about you guys?”

“Holly and I had to suffer through the first of many graduation parties yesterday. I’m hungover and she’s…
nervous.
”

I heard the sound of a hand slapping against skin and then Adam said, “Ow! Never mind, Jackson…she’s perfect. Not nervous at all. What about you? Were you out late last night?”

The events of the previous night flooded back to me as I stood up to let some sunlight into the room. “I’m not on speaker phone, am I?”

“No.”

“I did what you told me to do,” I said, lowering my voice. “Searched my dad’s office.”

“Uh huh…and…?”

“I didn’t know what time he’d be back, so I snapped a bunch of pictures…probably a hundred or so—”

“How did you save them? Where’s the camera?” he asked.

“Relax, alright? I put them on a memory card and it’s already in my wallet. Everything is deleted from the camera.”

“Good.” He let out a breath. “Did you wear what I told you to?”

I rolled my eyes, even though he couldn’t see me. “No, I didn’t wear rubber gloves. What if he had walked in? I can make excuses for creeping around in his office, but creeping around
and
wearing gloves…that’s a bit hard to cover up.”

He sighed. “I guess. It just makes everything easier if you don’t leave any kind of trail.”

“This
is
my house, Adam. My fingerprints are everywhere.” Man, he could be so paranoid sometimes.

“Okay, okay,” he said. “I’ll let you get to your coffee drinking. See you in a little while.”

After I hung up, I doubled checked my wallet to make sure I had put the memory card in there and then headed for the shower. When I got to the Y an hour later, I spotted Adam and Holly right away. Both were being bombarded by parents dropping off their children.

Adam was right…Holly
did
look nervous.

I walked up beside her and bumped my shoulder into hers. “Nice shirt.”

She gave me half a smile, glancing down at her green camp staff polo, identical to mine. “Do you know what time we get on the bus? And if they use chemical cleaning products in the restrooms at the camp site?” Her eyes dropped to the clipboard cradled in her arms. “Oh…and do you know if the lifeguards are certified by the Red Cross or The American Heart Association?”

I placed my hand on top of her clipboard, covering up all the notes that she had scribbled this morning. “We’ll get on the bus when Mr. Welborn tells us to. I hope to God they use chemicals to clean the bathrooms…you don’t even want to know what I’ve found in there over the years…and an ambulance will arrive before any lifeguard would ever have to even think about using CPR…the paramedics sit in the parking lot all day. But no one is going to drown, Holly.”

“Yeah,
I
know that…but obviously these parents don’t because they keep asking me question after question that I can’t answer,” she whispered, leaning closer so no one would hear. “And then they look at me like I’m an idiot.”

“Here’s the thing about these people,” I said to her, not bothering to whisper. “They’re not even expecting a response. But they ask this shit because it makes them feel important or better about themselves or less guilty for leaving their kids with nannies twenty four seven or whatever.”

She opened her mouth to respond but a woman in a tan Armani business suit interrupted us. A little boy with dark hair and round cheeks hid behind her leg. “Are you Jackson Meyer?”

“Yes, I am.” I turned my eyes to Holly for a split second and mouthed, “Watch.”

“I’m Hunter Bollman’s mother,” the woman said. “And I was told he’s in your group this summer.”

I checked my list and found Hunter’s name at the very top. “Yep, he’s with me.”

“I didn’t receive any information about the security specifications at the camp grounds…do you have a fire plan? An evacuation procedure in the event of a terrorist threat? And what about inclement weather? And you aren’t just planning to play sports all day, are you?” Her eyes scanned over me, x-raying and maybe deciding I couldn’t possibly have enough brains to teach anything beyond kick ball. “Hunter is already reading four grade levels ahead and his nanny has been teaching him two foreign languages since he was three. He’s practically fluent in French and Chinese. I’d hate to see all that stimulation go to waste.”

I crouched down and stuck my hand out to Hunter and said, in French, using my best accent, “Good morning…I’m so glad you’re in my group this summer. We’re going to have lots of fun.”

The little boy’s forehead wrinkled and a bewildered expression stayed plastered on his face. I stood up and smiled at his mom. “I have a great activity planned for this morning. We’re going to play a game of tag where the kids have to shout out words in Latin to keep from getting frozen.”

“Latin!” Hunter’s mom said, beaming at me. “Our academic advisor was just telling me how great Latin is for SAT prep.”

Eight year old SAT prep…sounds like a blast
.

With that, I was freed from Hunter’s mom and immediately turned to face Holly, who eyed me curiously and said, “You didn’t even answer any of her questions.”

I shrugged. “I know.”

She laughed and some of the nerves seem to shed off of her. “And did you see that kid’s face when you spoke French to him…he had no idea what you said. Even I caught the ‘good morning’ part and I don’t know any French.”

“Totally fluent, right?” This time, I leaned closer to whisper because even more parents had arrived. “You can’t be intimidated by these kids just because they’re rich and—”

“Practically from another planet,” Holly said.

“I won’t respond to that because I have to put forth some effort to defend my kind.” I grinned at her then pointed to a few kids near us in the gym. “Try to think of these children as…cheeseburgers.”

“Cheeseburgers?”

“Yes, cheeseburgers. An average American food. As basic as life itself. Then take that cheeseburger and give it a fancy name. Get a world famous chef to cook it on a ten thousand dollar grill and garnish the plate with swirls of French mustard and caviar,” I said. “But really, when you look closely, it’s still just—”

“A cheeseburger,” Holly finished.

“You got it.” I patted the top of her head. “Most of these kids can’t do half the things their parents say they can…they’re painfully average like the rest of us, but you tell someone they study violin with the director of the New York symphony who happens to be giving lessons to runny-nosed six year olds to feed his drug and gambling addiction, and suddenly the kid is a prodigy.”

“And no one cares that the teacher is on drugs?”

I pressed my palm against my chest, faking shock. “Holly, he’s an artist…angst and pain comes along with that kind of talent. Everyone knows that.”

“Wow,” Holly said, glancing around and shaking her head. “You’ve really put things into perspective. And now I can be absolutely positive that everything you say is ninety percent bullshit…you know…since you’re one of
them.
”

She grinned at me and started to walk away.

“Probably more like ninety five percent,” I called after her, getting a few looks from some of the other staff and parents.

“Okay…Latin tag? Seriously?” Adam said.

I hadn’t even noticed him standing next to me until now. “Uh…yeah…why not? You speak Latin, right? Maybe we can teach them swear words.”

He held his hand out and I carefully slipped the memory card into it.

“You teach the profanity and I’ll try to keep my job…you know, ‘cause unlike you, I get paid and I kinda need it,” Adam said, laughing.

I moved closer to Adam and kept my voice as soft as possible, while keeping a close eye on the people wandering around us. “So, what are you hoping to find in my dad’s files? Nothing really jumped out at me, but I was so busy snapping pictures, I didn’t read anything carefully.”

“Honestly, I’m not sure. Maybe there isn’t any kind of trail to find out why you’re…you know…
different
.”

“You mean no one knows,” I answered.

“Yeah, obviously no one knows because you’d be locked in some cage being studied or whatever…but since we know, maybe there’s a missing puzzle piece somewhere in there. Something so small no one else would get anything from it except us.”

“Jackson,” Brook said, walking up behind me. “How was your date last night?”

My heart immediately sped up and I felt my eyes growing big. “Shit,” I mumbled to Adam, who looked totally confused.

Brook’s best friend from art camp or something…
Alison
…I met her last week and Brook begged me to ask her out because she didn’t know anyone in New York.

“Oh no,” Brook said, shaking her head. “No way, Jackson! No wonder she didn’t return my calls last night. I so hate you right now.”

I slapped my hand to my forehead. “I totally forgot…I just…got busy with…a project and—”

She held her hand up to stop me. “Save it. I should have known better.”

Adam and I stood there as she turned around and prepared to stomp off. I grabbed her hand before she got too far. “Brook…”

She shook her fingers from my grip, but I could see her trying not to smile. “Should I make up an excuse and let you reschedule or would you rather just stay an asshole and not go out with a nice, pretty girl like Alison?”

I scratched my head and caught a glimpse of Holly across the gym. “Uh…stay an asshole, I guess.”

She sighed. “At least you’re honest.”

Adam was still laughing at me about the forgotten date when we finally boarded the yellow school buses to head out to the camp grounds for the day. When I walked past Holly’s seat, I saw her scribbling furiously on a piece of paper. I paused to get a better look and read the heading on top of the page: THIS IS ME, A YEAR AGO.

“Are you still working on that stupid questionnaire?”

She jumped and then looked up at me. “Yeah…Mr. Wellborn is supposed to collect them today.”

I quickly read the top of her paper while she was busy answering my question. This was all I got to see before she slapped her hand over the page:

NAME:
HOLLY MARIE FLYNN

Interview Date
:
June 8, 2009

High School
:
George Washington in Newark, NJ, class of 2009

College
:
Freshman at NYU, Fall of 2009

College Major
:
English Lit.

Birthday
:
September 7, 1990

Primary Language
:
English

Secondary Language
:
Very, very bad Spanish

“Good thing you’ve got your birthday written down there,” I said, unashamed at my noisiness. If she didn’t want me to see, she shouldn’t have been working on it here. “September seventh…weird…”

“What’s weird about that?” She stared at me, waiting for me to tell her we had the same birthday or something.

“Nothing…it’s just…I didn’t realize…you’re only…” I did the math quickly in my head. “Three…and a half months younger than me.”

She rolled her eyes. “Why is that weird? Because you’re so much more mature?”

I laughed. “Uh…good point.”

Adam waved me over and I slid into the spot beside him. I could still see Holly as she dove back into answering her questions.
Maybe I’ll work on mine
.
Maybe I’ll actually turn in something this year.
I removed the crumpled up paper from my backpack and dug for a pen.

“Thanks for reminding me,” Adam said. “I gotta finish that today if I want to get the free lunch Mr. Wellborn is bribing us with.”

“Free lunch? He’s taking his game to a whole new level this year.” The bus started moving and I found my pen and began writing. I didn’t really know why I even bothered to do this now…it’s not like I really cared about reading the answers in a year or that I even thought they’d be different or I’d be different. I’d still be in college…still live in the same place…still have the same volunteer job…and I’ve lived in New York city all my life, so I doubt my favorite hang outs or anything like that would change. But for some reason, I wanted Holly to think I was at least a little better than the spoiled rich kid image she already had of me. One I hadn’t made much effort to disprove, possibly because I couldn’t.

NAME:
JACKSON ANDREW MEYER

Interview Date
:
June 8, 2009

High School
:
Loyola Academy in Manhattan, class of 2008

College
:
Sophomore at NYU, Fall of 2009

College Major
:
French poetry with a minor in English Lit.

Birthday
:
June 20, 1990

Primary Language
:
English