Too Far to Whisper (30 page)

* * * * *

When Ben returned home later that morning, he found Shadow and Rosalind eating flummery at the table.

“Hello, Ben,” Rosalind greeted him cheerfully. “Join us for breakfast?” She pointed at the thick porridge mixed with dried fruit.

Ben smiled and shook his head, then plunked down next to his sister on the bench. “Mother fed me enough food for six men.” He rubbed his stomach and exhaled. “I may never eat again.”

“And how is everyone?” she asked.

“Everyone is fine,” he answered. He frowned as he added, “But all are very much eager for the wedding. ‘Tis all they spoke about. Nellie and Elizabeth must have shown me their gowns a hundred times. They cannot wait to wear them.”

Rosalind sighed and set down her spoon. Her appetite suddenly had vanished. “It pains me to have to disappoint them so, but perhaps after I go through with my plan and they see Nathaniel for what he truly is, they will not feel so disappointed that the wedding did not occur.”

Shadow stared at her. “Do you not wish to share this plan of yours with us…in the event something goes wrong and it fails?”

Rosalind shook her head. “You must trust me with this.”

“Well, when do you wish to make the journey back to the Corwins’?” Ben asked. “I shall have to escort you there.”

“There is no need,” Rosalind said. “I am quite capable of making the journey on my own.”

“Do not be foolish,” Ben said. “You are not yet strong enough. And ‘tis not right for
any
woman to go wandering about unescorted.”

“Ben is right,” Shadow said. “Were I not at risk of being seen, I would accompany you myself.”

“I wish to leave as soon as possible, then,” Rosalind said. “I am most eager to get this matter with Nathaniel settled so I may get on with my life.” She smiled lovingly, almost seductively, at Shadow, an action that did not escape Ben’s notice.

“I trust you both slept well?” Ben inquired. His blue eyes cut toward Shadow, then back at his sister.

“I was so weary,” Rosalind said, “I retired upstairs immediately after supper and was asleep within seconds.” Her face grew warm as she gathered the courage to add, “But I fear that when I awoke this morn, I discovered an unexpected occurrence – one that only
women
are blessed with – had stained your bed.”

“Rosalind!” Ben clearly was aghast. “Something of such a personal nature need not be discussed at breakfast! And certainly not in the presence of our guest!”

Shadow lowered his head and feigned great interest in his breakfast as he struggled to conceal his amusement.

“’Tis no big secret that all woman experience it,” Rosalind said. She paused to smile at her brother. “That is, with the exception of Faith of late, considering she is with child!” Her gaze shifted toward Shadow. “And I am quite certain that Shadow knows of such things.”

“Enough said,” Ben surrendered with a wave of his hand, dismissing any further discussion of the subject. “If you are as eager to return to the Corwins’ house as you profess, then I suggest you prepare to leave posthaste. I
do
have other matters to attend to today.”

“I shall get ready as soon as I tidy your kitchen,” Rosalind said. “I fear I have made a mess of it.”

“Leave it,” Ben said. “I shall take care of it later. Now gather your belongings and meet me outside when you are ready.”

Rosalind was grateful that her brother had sensed her need to spend a few moments alone with Shadow before she had to depart.

“Where will you go?” she asked Shadow after she had collected the few garments she had brought with her.

“I will camp out in the woods behind the Corwins’ stables,” he said. “Come to me there when this matter with Nathaniel has been settled.” His eyes fastened on her face. “Or if you need help in any way.”  He stood and moved toward her. “I still believe it would be much easier to settle all of this if I just kill him.”

“Do not worry,” she said. “By morning, I shall be rid of Nathaniel once and for all.”

“Let us hope so,” he said. “Were it up to me, Nathaniel long would have been lying dead and you already would be my wife.”

“Tomorrow.” Rosalind’s tone was reassuring. “Tomorrow we shall begin our new life together.” She slipped her arms around his neck. “Until then, do not forget for one single moment that I love you and shall miss you desperately until we are together again. Although our separation will be but a brief one, it will seem like a hundred years to me.”

Shadow’s arms wrapped around her and he pulled her to him. “Be careful tonight,” he whispered. “You know where to find me. I shall be waiting for you.”

Before Rosalind was able to respond, Shadow’s lips met hers, and all thoughts of anything other than his kiss vanished.

* * * * *

The air was humid and the temperature unbearably hot as Rosalind and Ben descended the trail.

“I think I prefer the rain,” Rosalind muttered, using the back of her hand to wipe the perspiration from her forehead. “I feel as if I am about to melt.”

Ben swatted at a mosquito on his arm. “I suggest you have a nap this afternoon. I suspect you will need to be alert to carry out whatever this plan of yours for Nathaniel involves.”

“Aye, I suppose I shall,” she said. Her voice was heavy with dread.

Ben stared at her profile. “You are certain you wish to go through with this?”

“I have little choice in the matter, Ben. I have only one day left ere I am supposed to wed the captain. My plan
has
to work.”

“And if it fails?”

Rosalind shook her head. “I do not know. I do not wish to see you, my mother and sisters punished for my deeds if I back out of the wedding. But how, pray tell, can I possibly go through with marrying Nathaniel, no matter what the reason, when my heart belongs to Shadow?”

“Then you are certain you want to spend the rest of your life with the Indian?”

“There is not a doubt in my mind.” She turned to look at her brother. “Do you not like Shadow, Ben?”

He shrugged. “He seems all right, I suppose. I mean, he is not hard on the eyes, and his love for you seems genuine. But that does not erase the fact that he is a savage. Have you
really
thought things through, Rosalind? Does it not concern you that he is of a different race and faith, and that his way of life is nothing short of barbaric? Do you not care that your children will be neither full-blooded white nor Indian? Nor that they will be raised in some primitive village where their baby rattles are likely to be fashioned from an elk’s testicles?”

Rosalind could not suppress a giggle. “None of that matters to me as long as I am with Shadow. I have every faith he will make a wonderful husband and father. The differences in our cultures matter not.
Love
is what is important.”

Ben sighed and shook his head. “Dear Lord, you really
have
fallen for the Indian.”

They paused to rest beneath the shady branches of a broad maple tree. Ben stretched out on his back, his hands clasped behind his head, while Rosalind sat with her legs tucked beneath her, her back leaning against the tree’s thick trunk.

“A dip in the Corwins’ pond that you mentioned would be nice right now,” Ben said. “I feel as though I have been hanging on a spit over a roaring fire all morn.”

“I dare not return to that pond,” Rosalind said, fanning herself with her hand. “Nathaniel and his doxy might be there, and I sincerely doubt my stomach could tolerate another of his lewd performances.”

“Well, take heart,” Ben said. “After this eve, you may never have to set eyes on Nathaniel again. That is if your scheme, whatever it may be, succeeds.”

“It must,” she said softly. “It must.”

CHAPTER TWENTY

“You both look hot and weary,” Grace commented as Ben and Rosalind entered the Corwins’ kitchen. “Have a seat and I shall fetch you some cool water.”

“Appreciate it.” Ben nodded and seated himself. “But I know not whether to drink it or pour it over my head.”

“Perhaps I shall do both,” Rosalind said, frowning at the perspiration stains on her dress. “The sun is hot enough to pop the corn in the fields.”

“You ought to be working near the hearth, cooking all morn as I have,” Grace said. “Guests, relatives of the Corwins, already have arrived in anticipation of the wedding, and I must feed them all.” The smell of freshly baked bread filled the room. Grace lifted a pitcher and poured water into two cups, then handed one to Rosalind and one to Ben. Ben drained his cup in one gulp and immediately extended it for a refill.

“Do not be so hasty,” Grace scolded. “You will cramp your stomach.”  She refilled Ben’s cup. “So how is your wife faring? Mrs. Corwin will be surprised to see your sister back so soon.”

“Faith is much better,” Ben said, praying he sounded convincing. “In fact, she was the one who insisted Rosalind return here, assuring her there was no need to remain. What Faith claims is commonplace for a woman who is with child, I seem to think is something to fret about. She was upset that I brought Rosalind home for what she assured me was naught.”

Grace smiled. “Your second babe will be much easier, you shall see.”

“If I live through this one,” Ben said.

Rosalind wiped her face with a corner of her apron, then inquired, struggling to sound casual. “So, is my beloved future husband about?”

“Not at the moment,” Grace said. “He is out on an errand. He said he has much to do ere the wedding. But he will return in time to sup with you and the guests. He will be so pleased to see you, lass. He missed you so much, he nearly took the horse and went to visit you early this morn to surprise you.”

Ben and Rosalind cast sideways glances at each other. Rosalind dared not imagine what Nathaniel’s reaction would have been had he surprised her at Ben’s and found her eating breakfast with the Indian he believed he had murdered.

“That is good then,” Rosalind said. “’Twill give me time to bathe and look fresh for him. If Nathaniel saw me at the moment, he probably would change his mind about wedding me.”

“No worries about that!” Grace said. “The captain is so eager to wed you, I doubt there is anything you could say or do that would change his mind.”

Her words filled Rosalind with a sudden sense of panic. Would she really be able to rid herself of Nathaniel, she wondered? Would her plan actually succeed? She could not – would not – allow any doubts to creep in and unsettle her.

“Well, if you kind ladies will excuse me,” Ben said rising. “I must head home now. My chores have been neglected, I fear.”

He turned to look at Rosalind and felt a lump form in his throat, for he knew that if her plan succeeded, she would run off with Shadow and he would not see her again for a long time…if ever. The thought nearly was unbearable to him.

Rosalind stood and he moved to embrace her. “Best of luck, my dear sister,” he whispered.

“Goodness!” Grace commented, smiling. “You act as though you will not see her again!  The wedding is the day after tomorrow. You shall see her then!”

Ben made an effort to compose himself as he broke away from Rosalind. “And I cannot wait to see how beautiful she will look as a bride!” he said, smiling. As he spoke the words he could not help but think it was more likely on Rosalind’s wedding day that she would be wearing a deerskin dress somewhere in a wigwam in the wilderness, with a half-naked painted heathen performing the rite. Although Ben knew that love should take priority over all else, he was more inclined to believe that marrying into the Corwin family would be far safer for Rosalind, even with the likes of Nathaniel for a husband.

* * * * *

There was no lull in conversation at the supper table early that evening. Even Abigail graced the family with her presence. The woman looked truly happy as she listened with rapt attention to everything being said, adding her own comments and smiling frequently.  Rosalind was introduced to the Corwins’ guests: Elias’s brother, his wife and daughter, and Abigail’s widowed sister and her two sons, but she paid little attention to their names or what was being said about them. She believed there was no need to, for after this eve, she anticipated she never would have reason to see them again.

Nathaniel sat directly across from Rosalind at the table, and more than once, his eyes locked with hers and he smiled at her. Each time, Rosalind returned his smile. Several times, she also winked at him and deliberately stared at his mouth, her eyes lingering on his lips…as the tip of her tongue flicked out to lick her own.

She could tell by the look of desire in Nathaniel’s eyes that her deliberate, calculated perusal of him was having the effect she had hoped it would. She was counting on his weakness for women…his weakness for her…to lead him to her chamber later that evening.

She also was counting on him to attempt to rape her.

While the men drank another round of ale, Abigail, looking fatigued, excused herself to her chamber. Rosalind leapt up to assist her upstairs. Once there, she helped Abigail get ready for bed and then made certain she took her medicine.

“You are so good for me, Rosalind,” Abigail said, sighing contentedly as she snuggled down beneath the quilt Rosalind had placed over her. “I have always longed for a daughter, and now I shall have one. God truly has blessed me.”

Rosalind smiled at her. “Sleep well, Abigail,” she said softly. “The next two days are going to be very hectic.”

Once back in the privacy of her own chamber, Rosalind nervously paced back and forth. She was certain that as soon as everyone retired for the evening, Nathaniel would hasten to her chamber. She sat on the edge of the bed and closed her eyes, willing herself to remain calm, but the moment she envisioned Nathaniel’s hands pawing at her, her nervousness increased tenfold.

She knew all too well how the slightest bit of encouragement transformed Nathaniel into a lust-driven animal, and she was counting on that weakness to help her carry out her plan. She intended to tempt Nathaniel to the point where he would remove his garments and climb on top of her…and then she would scream…loudly enough to waken Elias and the guests – loudly enough to cause someone to burst into the chamber…and witness his attempted rape of her.  According to the laws, the act carried a penalty of death. What, she wondered, would Elias do to uphold the law when the offender was his own son? And what, she wondered, would he be willing to offer her in exchange for her silence?

Long minutes passed – minutes that stretched into hours – but still Nathaniel did not come to her. Rosalind’s throat grew dry and she felt a burning pain in the pit of her stomach. He
had
to come, she thought.

After another half-hour passed, Rosalind finally surrendered to her body’s need for sleep.  There still was one more day until her wedding, she told herself as she slipped into her nightdress and crawled into bed. She knew she would have to be even more tempting, more enticing on the morrow, making certain Nathaniel would be unable resist her.  Even with the wedding night so near, she sensed he still would not be patient enough to wait…not if given the proper encouragement. The most unbearable part would be a longer separation from Shadow than anticipated. To her, that was an even greater torture than having to endure Nathaniel’s touch.

It was near the midnight hour when Rosalind was awakened by a hand gently shaking her shoulder.

“Rosalind.” She recognized Nathaniel’s husky whisper. “I had to wait until everyone was asleep so I would not be seen entering your chamber. I was beginning to think my father
never
would retire.”

Rosalind stiffened. Nathaniel was sitting on the edge of her bed! Fear immediately erased all lingering remnants of sleep. She had to think clearly, she told herself. She took a deep, calming breath and prayed for strength. This might be her only opportunity to carry out her plan, and she could not allow it to fail. She noticed that Nathaniel had set a lit candle on her night table. No doubt, she thought, because he wanted to see her when he removed her garments.  A wave of nausea overtook her, but she took another deep breath and fought against it.

“Nathaniel,” she breathed, sitting up and wrapping her arms around him. “I am so pleased you came. In truth, I had given up hope.”

“I was hoping,” he said, pulling just far enough away from her to search her face, “by your actions at the table this eve, that I had not mistaken your message.”

“You were not mistaken,” she said softly. “You have been so kind and caring to me of late, I have found myself craving you, dreaming about you. I do not wish to wait until our wedding night. I shall be able to enjoy our wedding day so much more if I do not have to concern myself about losing my virginity. No one shall know the difference if I give myself to you now…or then.” She slowly walked her fingers up his chest and smiled what she hoped was seductively. “…Other than us, that is. It shall be our sinful little secret.”

“Are you certain?” he asked, his voice suddenly hoarse.

“I am,” she whispered, dreading what she knew was about to occur. Visions of being in Shadow’s arms again and of her family still dwelling safely in their homes, however, gave her the courage to go through with it.

In one swift move, Nathaniel pushed her back against the pillow, rolled on top of her and planted a hand on either side of her shoulders. The eyes that gazed down at her resembled those of a starving man who suddenly had stumbled upon a banquet. Although his upper body was bare, Rosalind was relieved to feel the soft cloth of his breeches against her leg.

He lowered his head to kiss her, while Rosalind prayed for the strength to endure it. The kiss began softly, teasingly, then became more demanding, to the point of causing her lips to feel bruised. Nathaniel, she realized, knew not the meaning of gentle when it came to women. She even suspected he was unable to become aroused unless he was being forceful and controlling.

Rosalind returned his kiss with feigned passion, her tongue meeting his when it invaded her mouth. She briefly thought of what her brother and Shadow would have said – how appalled they would have been – had she divulged her plan to them…which was precisely why she had not.

Fear and revulsion began to overtake her as Nathaniel’s hand dropped to her right breast and he began to forcefully squeeze it through the thin material of her nightdress. She moaned from the pain of it, which Nathaniel mistook for a moan of passion.  He pressed his body more tightly to hers, his tongue frantically scouring the inside of her mouth, his breath coming in short gasps.  He continued to hold her mouth captive as his hand boldly slid down to grasp her nightdress and jerk it up above her thighs.

Rosalind knew the time was nearing when he would doff his breeches…and she would scream and put an abrupt end to his passion…and the wedding. She, however, was beginning to fear she would not be able tolerate him very much longer. 

She broke away from his kiss and breathed, “Please, Nathaniel, I wish to…see you.”

Without any hesitation, he rose to his knees and pulled down his breeches. leaving them bunched around his knees. He remained still for a moment, affording Rosalind the opportunity to look at him in the candlelight.

“It would greatly pleasure me if you would touch me…to stroke me,” he said.

Rosalind knew that her acting skills were not nearly good enough to allow her to grant his request and appear to be enjoying it. She could not…would not. The thought suddenly occurred to her, with some regret, that she had not yet touched Shadow so intimately, not even during their night of passion.

“Come, kiss me,” she said, raising her arms toward him, hoping to entice him.

“Touch me first,” he said, his tone becoming more demanding. “I want to feel your soft hands on me.”

Rosalind once again had to swallow her nausea. She shook her head. “I am not yet ready to do something so bold. Please, do not try to force me to do something I do not wish to do. You must remember I am not one of your wenches…you must be patient with me.”

“Oh, my dear innocent girl, I no longer can be patient,” he said, leaning forward. With his index finger, he traced a path down the smooth column of her neck. “I am here, feeling the warmth of your body beneath mine. I am made of flesh and blood, not granite. I have gone beyond the point of being patient.”

He suddenly dropped his full weight onto her, causing her breath to escape from her lungs. His mouth covered hers in another forceful kiss. With his loins now naked and his arousal obvious, moving against her leg, she knew that no one who came into her chamber would be able to deny his intentions. The time had come to scream…ere it was too late.

Rosalind attempted to break away from Nathaniel’s crushing kiss, but the more she tried, the more tightly he grasped her and the deeper he thrust his tongue into her mouth, until she swore she could feel it touching her tonsils. She could bear no more, not without gagging. And she would not – could not – allow him any opportunity to penetrate her. Panic began to flood through her as she realized Nathaniel was not affording her any opportunity to scream. She felt as if she were being suffocated – being held captive by his mouth and body. Without pausing to think, she sank her teeth into his tongue.