Topaz Dreams (29 page)
Authors: Marilyn Campbell
"All of the technical knowledge he
acquired while he was here will be erased, but not his memory of being
here. He will always believe there is a world in the center of the
earth, where he could acquire all the power he hungers for, but it will
always be out of his reach. Considering how skeptical most
Outerworlders are, it is doubtful that anyone of consequence will take
him seriously if he chooses to relate his incredible story.
"Nor
will he forget his relationship with Delphina and the fact that she was
an android. Instead, his love for her and the humiliation he
experienced when he realized his mistake in loving a machine will be
intensified to ensure his silence about her and a lifetime of
frustration and unhappiness. It may sound like an unusual punishment,
but after the misery he caused our people, it's justified."
Falcon
had one more factor to add. "Before we left Alaska, I touched
Nesterman's mind. I am certain he will not recall ever seeing Delphina.
He will only remember his kidnapping, and Underwood's obsession about
an opal ring. King was the only other witness Underwood had."
"And what do I say happened to Falcon? Surely someone will ask."
"His
false identity was well established," Rom answered, "The Interpol file
on him will remain open for the time being, but his next assignment
will be listed as top secret, thereby explaining his disappearance if
anyone investigates that far."
Steve nodded, suddenly too tired to
think about any more details. It was not the events of the past days
weighing her down, but the one, final event yet to come.
Falcon
acknowledged her thoughts by taking her hand in his and pulling her up
from her chair. "Please excuse us for tonight. We are both fatigued."
Rom and Aster saw them to the door, assuring them they would not be needed again until morning.
Steve
felt Aster's romantic heart reach out to her, but she dared not meet
the other woman's gaze, for fear her own resolve would falter.
"My residence. It is not as large as yours, but I believe you will be able to spend a comfortable night there."
She
lowered her lashes, feeling oddly shy when she caught the glow in his
eyes. He was giving her the night she had so boldly requested.
Falcon
stopped and turned her toward him. Cupping her chin, he raised her face
and studied her intently. "I do not understand this emotion you are
feeling. Please explain."
Steve's cheeks pinkened. "I—I don't know
if I can. I know it's silly, you know, to be embarrassed about it, but,
I mean, I'm not really much more experienced than you, and well, first
I seduced you, then I asked you for another night—"
Falcon hushed
her rambling by placing his thumb on her lips. "It is not important."
His thumb traced the outline of her mouth. "Do you want me?"
His
gravelly voice raked through her, rendering her mute. You know I do.
His hand moved to the back of her neck and held her as his mouth
lowered to hers. Softly, he caressed her until she eased her body
closer to his.
He raised his head and smiled approvingly. "That is much better. Now we will go."
A
vehicle that looked like a small bus, but floated above the roadway on
a cushion of air, delivered them to Falcon's apartment. Again Steve
noted that the building had a futuristic appearance, but the interior
of the one-bedroom apartment looked very familiar. She was about to ask
where the soft lighting originated when Falcon pulled her into his
arms. He had discarded his unemotional mask the moment they were alone.
He
kissed her hard, once, twice. His mouth left hers for only a second
when he returned for more. Steve felt as though she were being devoured
and wanted desperately to feed his hunger while satisfying her own. His
hands roamed her body, urgently kneading her flesh through her clothes.
She arched against him, pressing her hips to his to relay her desire to
skip the preliminaries.
He tugged at her shirt. She tore open the
waist of his pants. They stumbled toward the bedroom, dropping a trail
of clothing along the way.
At the edge of the bed the high-speed
action abruptly slowed. They each paused and stepped apart. The sound
of their strained breathing echoed through the room, but neither
responded to the erotic call.
Steve wanted each moment to last, to
make the night last forever, and Falcon seemed to understand. Or did he
have the same need to savor every touch?
Simultaneously, their hands
moved to the other's shoulders, then they began a thorough exploration.
His palms grazed her breasts. Her fingers trickled down his sides.
Their gazes held fast, wordlessly revealing the pleasure they were
giving and receiving.
When their hands moved lower, intimately
stoking each other's passion, their sighs were a shared sound,
announcing the end of their temporary patience.
Falcon lowered Steve
to the bed and positioned himself on his knees between her parted
thighs. His fingers teased her sensitive flesh.
"Falcon, please" she begged, and reached for what she wanted.
He
nudged her hand aside. "Not yet. Allow me to have my way with you
first. I want to observe you as you enjoy your pleasure. I wish to feel
what you feel in this manner."
She was tempted to deny him, to
demand he be swept away with her, but the music his fingers played on
her body reached a crescendo so swiftly she could hold nothing back
from him.
Her release washed over him in waves of heat and shudders.
The intensity of it was so strong that his shaft began to throb, and
with one swift plunge, he embedded himself deep inside her.
When he
had climaxed and her heartbeat slowed a bit, Steve murmured into
Falcon's ear, "And now do I get to have my way with you?"
His answer was a purring sound and a movement within her body that indicated he was not yet finished having his way.
The
night became a blend of endless ecstasy and unspoken wishes. No matter
how sincere those private wishes, however, they could not hold back the
dawn.
Falcon lifted Steve's hand and kissed her fingertips. Placing
her palm over his heart, he said, "Steve, I know what you know and I
feel what you feel, yet I believe there are words to be spoken between
us." He hushed her attempt to interrupt with a mental gift of comfort.
"You cannot stay."
"And you can't go with me. I understand. But..."
She closed her eyes to hold back the tears that immediately surfaced.
"It still hurts."
"You say you understand. I do not. Perhaps I will
in the future, when I am more accustomed to all the emotions I have
only recently come to possess. I have no understanding of the bond that
has formed between us. The physical aspect is like touching the
heavens. The mental companionship has filled a lonely void I was
unaware I had. I have always believed my life would be a solitary one."
"Now
you know differently. I'm so happy you came into my life, Falcon. I was
lonely, but, unlike you, I knew it. For the rest of time, whenever I
feel alone, I'll remember you and what we have shared. There's a part
of me that you'll keep, but I believe I'll also have a part of you with
me. There is so much more you're
going to experience, and if I feel
a little jealous when I think of you with other women, I'll just remind
myself that I was first. Because of that, I'll know you haven't
forgotten me. And that will have to be enough."
Falcon remained
silent for several minutes before speaking again. "I have decided to
return to my home planet, Emiron. I am not satisfied with this
uncertainty. I must find out if what has happened to me has happened
with others of my kind, and what else I might expect in the future.
There is something else I must go back for, also. When I was conceived,
it was part of an attempt by my people to strengthen their race, with
the hope that a mixed breed would be able to repopulate the planet. I
had not given that reason for my existence much thought until recently.
I feel no desire to return for such a purpose, and yet it is my duty.
Perhaps I will father children such as Vince and Mary Ann." He smiled,
hoping she would, too.
She failed at first, then chuckled as she
picked up his train of thought. "No, I could not be pregnant.
Fortunately, I had that taken care of years ago. Good heavens. Keeping
up with normal children is hard enough. I can't imagine what it would
be like with one who had your talents. It would be a nightmare!" They
laughed together at the kind of mischief such a child could get into,
and the levity helped somewhat, until Falcon brought them back to
reality.
"It is uncomfortable for me to consider never seeing your
children. But the thought of never being with you again cuts me with
very real pain. It is not possible. After I have done what needs to be
done on Emiron, I will return to see you. I may not be able to remain
in your world, but I could easily visit for short periods."
"God,
Falcon. Don't say that. You don't realize what you're suggesting. I'd
be on an emotional roller coaster—always on edge, waiting for that
elusive someday when you would appear at my door. Then, when you did, I
would be counting the days until you left again. I'd be going through
this heartache over and over. And what if you never came back from
Emiron? Would you have me live the rest of my days based on the
possibility that I might see you one more time?
"You can't imagine
how hard it is for me to say this. I'm terribly close to begging for
one more day with you. The irrational part of my brain is ready to give
up everything—my family, my career—if you asked me to stay with you.
This time, the rational side will win, but if you came back another
time, I'm not sure I would be so brave.
"I love you, Falcon. I'll
always love you. But I don't want you popping in and out of my life. I
hope someday you learn firsthand what love is, then you'll understand
what I mean."
"Define love."
Steve shrugged. "That's what
everyone would like to know, I guess. Aster said something to me that
sounded pretty good. You know you're in love when you are no longer
whole without the other person at your side."
"Like two halves of a
circle. Only together do they make a whole. Yes, I see that. I also
know that I have put thoughts and feelings into your head which were
not your own. Perhaps once we are apart, you will discover that our
attraction was not so much your doing, but more the fulfillment of my
desires imposed on you."
She sighed and kissed him until their passion reawakened. "Believe whatever you'd like. It won't change the truth."
"One thing is certain. If you are ever in need of me, call my name. Somehow I will hear and attend you."
Steve didn't answer, for she knew another certainty. She would never make that call.
swallowed her eighth aspirin of the day. The doctor had written her a
prescription for a stronger medication—a drug that offered marginal
relief to migraine sufferers. The slip of paper was still in her desk
drawer, where it had been stuffed six months ago. She couldn't tell the
doctor what she thought was the true cause of her headaches. He would
probably have her committed.
A smirk twisted her mouth. Hell, they'd
probably put her in the same "rest home" where Gordon Underwood had
been permanently incarcerated. Of course, no one would suggest she was
criminally insane as he had been judged. That decision had been the one
bright spot during these past dismal months. The Nesterman kidnapping
case never went to trial, for Gordon Underwood's ravings about a world
in the center of the earth and the wicked tricks the aliens played on
him immediately assured him a place in the psychiatric hall of fame.
For weeks, every newspaper carried stories of the great man's downfall.
A man of his genius and financial power being openly declared insane
was the kind of divine retribution that made the world go round. The
commoners loved every minute of it, laughed at his ludicrous claims,
and promptly forgot about him a few weeks later.
But Steve couldn't
forget the man who retained possession of her heart. What she had not
known that last day in Innerworld was that he left something of himself
with her—something completely unwelcome.
It had not occurred to
either of them that the various psychic abilities she had acquired
would remain with her. They had both assumed that he was triggering her
expanded mental powers and that they would return to normal once they
were separated. They had been mistaken, and it wasn't the least bit
pleasant.
Seven months after they had said good-bye, Steve was still
picking up on other people's emotional states, occasionally even
hearing their exact thoughts. She didn't want to know what people were
thinking or feeling, particularly those people who cared about her.
Their smothering concern was driving her crazy. To make matters worse,
she couldn't figure out how to shut out everyone else's feelings. It
had seemed remarkably effortless when she was with Falcon, but without
him, the so-called gifts were controlling her. At first she had cried,
partly for her lost love and partly out of pure frustration. But when
the tears had dried up, the headaches had taken over.
Then it took
weeks for the children to stop asking about him. Her mother didn't ask,
but she had followed Steve around with a
Mother's-here-if-you-want-to-talk expression on her face. Her mom
recognized a broken heart when she saw one, but her feelings were still
hurt because Steve wouldn't open up to her.
At work the situation
was equally stressful. Lou and her coworkers knew she was disturbed and
went out of their way to help. First Lou had taken work away from her,
then he had piled it on. She simply couldn't get interested in any of
it and she knew that worried him most of all. His patience with her
indifference was wearing thin.
The guys had razzed her with their
best shots and got upset when they failed to get a rise out of her.
Soon their concern had turned to irritation. She realized that they
didn't care what her personal problem was anymore. After seven months
of moping around, they thought she should straighten up and get on with
her life.
Sometimes she wished she could scream at all of them. They
didn't know what a true mess her brain was in. She couldn't concentrate
unless she worked in her bedroom in the middle of the night. Even then,
one of Vince's nightmares could unexpectedly burst into her thoughts.
What
did you do to me? She tried not to think of him at all. When she did,
she was careful not to say his name. She had no idea what would
constitute "calling" him, but she wasn't taking any chances. Sooner or
later this problem she had would go away on its own. It had to.
"Daydreaming again, Steve?" Lou teased as he stepped into her office and dropped a file on her desk.
She
glanced from him to the file, then back to his face. Not only was he
smiling, his eyes twinkled mischievously. The file obviously contained
a pip of a case; his excitement was barely contained.
"A good one?" She massaged her temples in an attempt to quiet the pounding enough to hear his answer.
"Could
be just what the doctor ordered. It's time for you to hit the road for
Florida again, kiddo. There's a little town near Daytona called
Cassadaga. It's a gathering place for psychic types. Everything from
religious spiritualists to Tarot card readers. There are a few
newspaper articles about the place in the file.
"Anyway, a few weeks
ago, a card reader was found dead, apparently bitten by a very rare,
poisonous snake while she was asleep. The police wrote it off as
accidental, but another psychic in the neighborhood is insisting it was
murder. She's hiring us to find the killer before he strikes again."
"He?"
"Figure of speech, I'm sure."
"Let me guess. She saw the murder in a dream and she'll be sure to get lots of publicity out of our investigation."
"Spoken like a true skeptic."
"Well, what other reason would she have to give us her hard-earned cash to find her competition's alleged murderer?"
"She's convinced it was not a singular murder, and she might be the next victim."
Steve
whistled. The woman either had a great flair for melodrama or she had
some genuine talent. What Lou couldn't know was that it would only take
Steve a moment in the woman's presence to discern the truth. That was
why she lost interest in the cases she handled in the last few months.
Half of them were solved five minutes after she began her first
interview. Maybe this one would be different.
It occurred to her
that she was looking forward to meeting this woman. A legitimate
psychic might even be able to help her live with her own unwanted
powers.
"All right. Ill take it. When am I supposed to be there?"
"I promised the day after tomorrow. There's a few background checks we can make from here before you go."
Disappointment stabbed at her. She was ready to go right now.
Lou
started out the door, then stopped and slapped his forehead. "What's
wrong with me? I almost forgot the other reason I had to talk to you."
Steve angled her head and waited for the other shoe to drop.
"You'll be taking a partner with you."
"A
partner?" Steve's voice rose several decibels. She almost sounded like
her old self. "You know damn well I work alone, Lou. What are you
trying to pull?"
"Hey, it was out of my hands," he said, showing her
his squeaky-clean palms. "Senator Irven put the pressure on. What could
I do? Our license comes up for renewal next year."
"Lou ..." Steve warned, "what are you babbling about?"
Incredibly, Lou maintained an innocent expression, but Steve could feel him suppressing his mirth.
"It's
an international exchange program being conducted between law
enforcement agencies, both public and private—a way of sharing
information and know-how through routine, hands-on experience."
"Please tell me you're working up to spitting out one clear sentence here."
"Okay,
okay. Here's the deal. Interpol is exchanging one of their agents for
one of our investigators, and I'm assigning him to you."
Steve's heart stopped and started again with a jolt. Interpol?
Lou backed out of the doorway, grinning like an idiot.
She
recognized his aura the moment he allowed her to sense it. "Falcon?"
she whispered, knowing he was there, yet not accepting it.
He moved
into her office and closed the door behind him. "You once told me a
simple thank you was not enough." He produced a bouquet of pastel roses
from behind his back. "I was to give you flowers, also. I did not
forget."
Steve sat frozen in her chair, still half-believing she was
imagining him. He looked different. Perhaps he'd lost a few pounds. His
hair was shorter, tamer, his eyes perfectly normal, a medium brown
color without any golden lights. When she didn't reach for the flowers,
he laid them on her desk and came around to her side. She stared at the
blossoms, terrified that the slightest movement on her part might cause
him to vanish. Seeing him again was worse than she had expected. When
he left her this time, she would surely die.
"Steve?" His fingertips
touched her cheek, turning her face toward him, but she did not raise
her eyes. "Why did you not call me? I would have heard you. I feel your
need, your confusion. Let me help."
She stood up and backed away
from his touch. "I told you before I wouldn't be able to handle you
coming in and out of my life. That hasn't changed." A gasping sob
escaped her, and she hugged her sides to hold herself together. "Why
are you here?"
"I need you. Even though you did not call me, I have
felt your need of me as well. You were never out of my thoughts. I have
been to Emiron and learned what I needed to know. I cannot make it
without you."
Steve gave up the struggle. Opening her arms, she met
him halfway. Oh, dear God, she was alive again. Falcon was with her,
holding her, taking away her pain. It didn't matter how temporary it
was.
"Are you not curious to hear about my journey?"
She shook her head no, then yes, and they both laughed. He sat down on the chair and urged her onto his lap.
"The
planet, Emiron, is much as I remember it, but the people are not. Their
hopelessness has been reversed. The experiment to save the population
from extinction was a success. Children have been born to the
generation of mixed breeds. You would probably find them most peculiar.
They consist of a wide variety of species, but they are gifted felan
children, and there are thousands of them. I was welcomed, though my
presence there was not required. I have been released from my duty to
them.
"I spoke to many others, like myself, who had undergone all
the transformations I did. Had I remained there all these years I would
have known what to expect. The changes for each began when it was time
to mate. The personal emotions surfaced, the mental and physical powers
increased, and, suddenly, reproduction was a possibility. Do you
remember our first encounter?"
Steve wrinkled her nose at him. "I thought you were a gorgeous pervert. You sniffed me."
Falcon
closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. "Mmmm. Like no other female. If
only I had known then what I know now, I could have spared us both the
pain of these last months. I opened myself to desire whenever I was
near other females, but I had no wish to take pleasure with them. I was
as I always was before—indifferent. Then I would think of you and ache
with need.
'Yet I still could not comprehend that you were meant to
be my mate. It was not until I found myself losing control of my
talents that I understood the rest of the cycle. You recall that your
abilities strengthened, but toward the end of our time together I was
having trouble focusing unless we were touching. That was because you
were already a part of me. My skills are practically useless without
you."
"You've just explained what's been happening to me. I still
have the abilities, but I can't seem to sort them out the way I did
when I was with you. It's been driving me nuts. What does all this
mean, though? What can we do?"
"It is not complicated. As Lou Dokes informed you, I am now your partner."
"Not complicated? The list of complications is a yard long."
Falcon
shifted her to a more comfortable position on his lap and nuzzled her.
neck. In between tiny kisses he eliminated her list. "I had
considerable guidance while on Emiron. With your help I will be able to
cope with anything your world throws at me. With my help, you will
reaccustom yourself to using your mind as you did with me before.
"New
lenses were designed for my eyes. I hardly know they're in place, and
every night, when we're alone, I can remove them. As your partner, I
will be able to do the work I enjoy and not have to hide my special
skills from you. And last, Romulus has appointed me as an official
emissary here in San Francisco. From time to time we will return to
Innerworld to report to him together."
"This is more than a little
awesome, Falcon. But you seem to have forgotten one major point. I have
two children and a mother to take care of. I certainly can't let them
know who you really are."
He frowned at her. "Of course I have not
forgotten. I will take precautions around them. My identity will remain
a secret from them as long as you feel it is necessary."
"You missed
my point. There is nothing I'd love more than knowing you'd be sleeping
in my bed tonight, but you can't. I mean, I can't. It wouldn't be
right."
"You are making no sense, Steve."
"My mother would never
approve, and it wouldn't be proper for the kids to see their mother in
bed with a man she isn't married to."
"Then we must marry."
"What?"
"Can
we take care of this matter today? I have an urgent need to be in that
bed tonight." He let his body confirm that statement.
"Falcon! That's crazy. What would everybody say? There's the license, and Mom would be furious if we didn't tell her first and—"
His mouth pressed against hers, ending all protests as he worked his wonderful magic on her senses.
She surrendered. We could get married in Nevada in a few hours.
He
stopped kissing her immediately. "Nevada? Yes, that is a place of
beginnings for me. We will go there, right after I tell you the most
important thing I learned while we were apart."
"And what might that be? Some new mental trick?"
"No,
not a trick, a new emotion—at least for me." He brought her closer for
another long caress. I love you, Steve. We belong together.
She trembled as the truth of his words filled her soul, and she in turn poured all her love into his. Forever.
acquired while he was here will be erased, but not his memory of being
here. He will always believe there is a world in the center of the
earth, where he could acquire all the power he hungers for, but it will
always be out of his reach. Considering how skeptical most
Outerworlders are, it is doubtful that anyone of consequence will take
him seriously if he chooses to relate his incredible story.
"Nor
will he forget his relationship with Delphina and the fact that she was
an android. Instead, his love for her and the humiliation he
experienced when he realized his mistake in loving a machine will be
intensified to ensure his silence about her and a lifetime of
frustration and unhappiness. It may sound like an unusual punishment,
but after the misery he caused our people, it's justified."
Falcon
had one more factor to add. "Before we left Alaska, I touched
Nesterman's mind. I am certain he will not recall ever seeing Delphina.
He will only remember his kidnapping, and Underwood's obsession about
an opal ring. King was the only other witness Underwood had."
"And what do I say happened to Falcon? Surely someone will ask."
"His
false identity was well established," Rom answered, "The Interpol file
on him will remain open for the time being, but his next assignment
will be listed as top secret, thereby explaining his disappearance if
anyone investigates that far."
Steve nodded, suddenly too tired to
think about any more details. It was not the events of the past days
weighing her down, but the one, final event yet to come.
Falcon
acknowledged her thoughts by taking her hand in his and pulling her up
from her chair. "Please excuse us for tonight. We are both fatigued."
Rom and Aster saw them to the door, assuring them they would not be needed again until morning.
Steve
felt Aster's romantic heart reach out to her, but she dared not meet
the other woman's gaze, for fear her own resolve would falter.
Chapter Twenty-one
The only victory over love is flight. —Napoleon Bonaparte
"Where are we going?" Steve asked once they were outside.The only victory over love is flight. —Napoleon Bonaparte
"My residence. It is not as large as yours, but I believe you will be able to spend a comfortable night there."
She
lowered her lashes, feeling oddly shy when she caught the glow in his
eyes. He was giving her the night she had so boldly requested.
Falcon
stopped and turned her toward him. Cupping her chin, he raised her face
and studied her intently. "I do not understand this emotion you are
feeling. Please explain."
Steve's cheeks pinkened. "I—I don't know
if I can. I know it's silly, you know, to be embarrassed about it, but,
I mean, I'm not really much more experienced than you, and well, first
I seduced you, then I asked you for another night—"
Falcon hushed
her rambling by placing his thumb on her lips. "It is not important."
His thumb traced the outline of her mouth. "Do you want me?"
His
gravelly voice raked through her, rendering her mute. You know I do.
His hand moved to the back of her neck and held her as his mouth
lowered to hers. Softly, he caressed her until she eased her body
closer to his.
He raised his head and smiled approvingly. "That is much better. Now we will go."
A
vehicle that looked like a small bus, but floated above the roadway on
a cushion of air, delivered them to Falcon's apartment. Again Steve
noted that the building had a futuristic appearance, but the interior
of the one-bedroom apartment looked very familiar. She was about to ask
where the soft lighting originated when Falcon pulled her into his
arms. He had discarded his unemotional mask the moment they were alone.
He
kissed her hard, once, twice. His mouth left hers for only a second
when he returned for more. Steve felt as though she were being devoured
and wanted desperately to feed his hunger while satisfying her own. His
hands roamed her body, urgently kneading her flesh through her clothes.
She arched against him, pressing her hips to his to relay her desire to
skip the preliminaries.
He tugged at her shirt. She tore open the
waist of his pants. They stumbled toward the bedroom, dropping a trail
of clothing along the way.
At the edge of the bed the high-speed
action abruptly slowed. They each paused and stepped apart. The sound
of their strained breathing echoed through the room, but neither
responded to the erotic call.
Steve wanted each moment to last, to
make the night last forever, and Falcon seemed to understand. Or did he
have the same need to savor every touch?
Simultaneously, their hands
moved to the other's shoulders, then they began a thorough exploration.
His palms grazed her breasts. Her fingers trickled down his sides.
Their gazes held fast, wordlessly revealing the pleasure they were
giving and receiving.
When their hands moved lower, intimately
stoking each other's passion, their sighs were a shared sound,
announcing the end of their temporary patience.
Falcon lowered Steve
to the bed and positioned himself on his knees between her parted
thighs. His fingers teased her sensitive flesh.
"Falcon, please" she begged, and reached for what she wanted.
He
nudged her hand aside. "Not yet. Allow me to have my way with you
first. I want to observe you as you enjoy your pleasure. I wish to feel
what you feel in this manner."
She was tempted to deny him, to
demand he be swept away with her, but the music his fingers played on
her body reached a crescendo so swiftly she could hold nothing back
from him.
Her release washed over him in waves of heat and shudders.
The intensity of it was so strong that his shaft began to throb, and
with one swift plunge, he embedded himself deep inside her.
When he
had climaxed and her heartbeat slowed a bit, Steve murmured into
Falcon's ear, "And now do I get to have my way with you?"
His answer was a purring sound and a movement within her body that indicated he was not yet finished having his way.
The
night became a blend of endless ecstasy and unspoken wishes. No matter
how sincere those private wishes, however, they could not hold back the
dawn.
Falcon lifted Steve's hand and kissed her fingertips. Placing
her palm over his heart, he said, "Steve, I know what you know and I
feel what you feel, yet I believe there are words to be spoken between
us." He hushed her attempt to interrupt with a mental gift of comfort.
"You cannot stay."
"And you can't go with me. I understand. But..."
She closed her eyes to hold back the tears that immediately surfaced.
"It still hurts."
"You say you understand. I do not. Perhaps I will
in the future, when I am more accustomed to all the emotions I have
only recently come to possess. I have no understanding of the bond that
has formed between us. The physical aspect is like touching the
heavens. The mental companionship has filled a lonely void I was
unaware I had. I have always believed my life would be a solitary one."
"Now
you know differently. I'm so happy you came into my life, Falcon. I was
lonely, but, unlike you, I knew it. For the rest of time, whenever I
feel alone, I'll remember you and what we have shared. There's a part
of me that you'll keep, but I believe I'll also have a part of you with
me. There is so much more you're
going to experience, and if I feel
a little jealous when I think of you with other women, I'll just remind
myself that I was first. Because of that, I'll know you haven't
forgotten me. And that will have to be enough."
Falcon remained
silent for several minutes before speaking again. "I have decided to
return to my home planet, Emiron. I am not satisfied with this
uncertainty. I must find out if what has happened to me has happened
with others of my kind, and what else I might expect in the future.
There is something else I must go back for, also. When I was conceived,
it was part of an attempt by my people to strengthen their race, with
the hope that a mixed breed would be able to repopulate the planet. I
had not given that reason for my existence much thought until recently.
I feel no desire to return for such a purpose, and yet it is my duty.
Perhaps I will father children such as Vince and Mary Ann." He smiled,
hoping she would, too.
She failed at first, then chuckled as she
picked up his train of thought. "No, I could not be pregnant.
Fortunately, I had that taken care of years ago. Good heavens. Keeping
up with normal children is hard enough. I can't imagine what it would
be like with one who had your talents. It would be a nightmare!" They
laughed together at the kind of mischief such a child could get into,
and the levity helped somewhat, until Falcon brought them back to
reality.
"It is uncomfortable for me to consider never seeing your
children. But the thought of never being with you again cuts me with
very real pain. It is not possible. After I have done what needs to be
done on Emiron, I will return to see you. I may not be able to remain
in your world, but I could easily visit for short periods."
"God,
Falcon. Don't say that. You don't realize what you're suggesting. I'd
be on an emotional roller coaster—always on edge, waiting for that
elusive someday when you would appear at my door. Then, when you did, I
would be counting the days until you left again. I'd be going through
this heartache over and over. And what if you never came back from
Emiron? Would you have me live the rest of my days based on the
possibility that I might see you one more time?
"You can't imagine
how hard it is for me to say this. I'm terribly close to begging for
one more day with you. The irrational part of my brain is ready to give
up everything—my family, my career—if you asked me to stay with you.
This time, the rational side will win, but if you came back another
time, I'm not sure I would be so brave.
"I love you, Falcon. I'll
always love you. But I don't want you popping in and out of my life. I
hope someday you learn firsthand what love is, then you'll understand
what I mean."
"Define love."
Steve shrugged. "That's what
everyone would like to know, I guess. Aster said something to me that
sounded pretty good. You know you're in love when you are no longer
whole without the other person at your side."
"Like two halves of a
circle. Only together do they make a whole. Yes, I see that. I also
know that I have put thoughts and feelings into your head which were
not your own. Perhaps once we are apart, you will discover that our
attraction was not so much your doing, but more the fulfillment of my
desires imposed on you."
She sighed and kissed him until their passion reawakened. "Believe whatever you'd like. It won't change the truth."
"One thing is certain. If you are ever in need of me, call my name. Somehow I will hear and attend you."
Steve didn't answer, for she knew another certainty. She would never make that call.
Chapter Twenty-two
And her yes, once said to you, Shall be Yes for evermore. —Elizabeth Barrett Browning
SteveAnd her yes, once said to you, Shall be Yes for evermore. —Elizabeth Barrett Browning
swallowed her eighth aspirin of the day. The doctor had written her a
prescription for a stronger medication—a drug that offered marginal
relief to migraine sufferers. The slip of paper was still in her desk
drawer, where it had been stuffed six months ago. She couldn't tell the
doctor what she thought was the true cause of her headaches. He would
probably have her committed.
A smirk twisted her mouth. Hell, they'd
probably put her in the same "rest home" where Gordon Underwood had
been permanently incarcerated. Of course, no one would suggest she was
criminally insane as he had been judged. That decision had been the one
bright spot during these past dismal months. The Nesterman kidnapping
case never went to trial, for Gordon Underwood's ravings about a world
in the center of the earth and the wicked tricks the aliens played on
him immediately assured him a place in the psychiatric hall of fame.
For weeks, every newspaper carried stories of the great man's downfall.
A man of his genius and financial power being openly declared insane
was the kind of divine retribution that made the world go round. The
commoners loved every minute of it, laughed at his ludicrous claims,
and promptly forgot about him a few weeks later.
But Steve couldn't
forget the man who retained possession of her heart. What she had not
known that last day in Innerworld was that he left something of himself
with her—something completely unwelcome.
It had not occurred to
either of them that the various psychic abilities she had acquired
would remain with her. They had both assumed that he was triggering her
expanded mental powers and that they would return to normal once they
were separated. They had been mistaken, and it wasn't the least bit
pleasant.
Seven months after they had said good-bye, Steve was still
picking up on other people's emotional states, occasionally even
hearing their exact thoughts. She didn't want to know what people were
thinking or feeling, particularly those people who cared about her.
Their smothering concern was driving her crazy. To make matters worse,
she couldn't figure out how to shut out everyone else's feelings. It
had seemed remarkably effortless when she was with Falcon, but without
him, the so-called gifts were controlling her. At first she had cried,
partly for her lost love and partly out of pure frustration. But when
the tears had dried up, the headaches had taken over.
Then it took
weeks for the children to stop asking about him. Her mother didn't ask,
but she had followed Steve around with a
Mother's-here-if-you-want-to-talk expression on her face. Her mom
recognized a broken heart when she saw one, but her feelings were still
hurt because Steve wouldn't open up to her.
At work the situation
was equally stressful. Lou and her coworkers knew she was disturbed and
went out of their way to help. First Lou had taken work away from her,
then he had piled it on. She simply couldn't get interested in any of
it and she knew that worried him most of all. His patience with her
indifference was wearing thin.
The guys had razzed her with their
best shots and got upset when they failed to get a rise out of her.
Soon their concern had turned to irritation. She realized that they
didn't care what her personal problem was anymore. After seven months
of moping around, they thought she should straighten up and get on with
her life.
Sometimes she wished she could scream at all of them. They
didn't know what a true mess her brain was in. She couldn't concentrate
unless she worked in her bedroom in the middle of the night. Even then,
one of Vince's nightmares could unexpectedly burst into her thoughts.
What
did you do to me? She tried not to think of him at all. When she did,
she was careful not to say his name. She had no idea what would
constitute "calling" him, but she wasn't taking any chances. Sooner or
later this problem she had would go away on its own. It had to.
"Daydreaming again, Steve?" Lou teased as he stepped into her office and dropped a file on her desk.
She
glanced from him to the file, then back to his face. Not only was he
smiling, his eyes twinkled mischievously. The file obviously contained
a pip of a case; his excitement was barely contained.
"A good one?" She massaged her temples in an attempt to quiet the pounding enough to hear his answer.
"Could
be just what the doctor ordered. It's time for you to hit the road for
Florida again, kiddo. There's a little town near Daytona called
Cassadaga. It's a gathering place for psychic types. Everything from
religious spiritualists to Tarot card readers. There are a few
newspaper articles about the place in the file.
"Anyway, a few weeks
ago, a card reader was found dead, apparently bitten by a very rare,
poisonous snake while she was asleep. The police wrote it off as
accidental, but another psychic in the neighborhood is insisting it was
murder. She's hiring us to find the killer before he strikes again."
"He?"
"Figure of speech, I'm sure."
"Let me guess. She saw the murder in a dream and she'll be sure to get lots of publicity out of our investigation."
"Spoken like a true skeptic."
"Well, what other reason would she have to give us her hard-earned cash to find her competition's alleged murderer?"
"She's convinced it was not a singular murder, and she might be the next victim."
Steve
whistled. The woman either had a great flair for melodrama or she had
some genuine talent. What Lou couldn't know was that it would only take
Steve a moment in the woman's presence to discern the truth. That was
why she lost interest in the cases she handled in the last few months.
Half of them were solved five minutes after she began her first
interview. Maybe this one would be different.
It occurred to her
that she was looking forward to meeting this woman. A legitimate
psychic might even be able to help her live with her own unwanted
powers.
"All right. Ill take it. When am I supposed to be there?"
"I promised the day after tomorrow. There's a few background checks we can make from here before you go."
Disappointment stabbed at her. She was ready to go right now.
Lou
started out the door, then stopped and slapped his forehead. "What's
wrong with me? I almost forgot the other reason I had to talk to you."
Steve angled her head and waited for the other shoe to drop.
"You'll be taking a partner with you."
"A
partner?" Steve's voice rose several decibels. She almost sounded like
her old self. "You know damn well I work alone, Lou. What are you
trying to pull?"
"Hey, it was out of my hands," he said, showing her
his squeaky-clean palms. "Senator Irven put the pressure on. What could
I do? Our license comes up for renewal next year."
"Lou ..." Steve warned, "what are you babbling about?"
Incredibly, Lou maintained an innocent expression, but Steve could feel him suppressing his mirth.
"It's
an international exchange program being conducted between law
enforcement agencies, both public and private—a way of sharing
information and know-how through routine, hands-on experience."
"Please tell me you're working up to spitting out one clear sentence here."
"Okay,
okay. Here's the deal. Interpol is exchanging one of their agents for
one of our investigators, and I'm assigning him to you."
Steve's heart stopped and started again with a jolt. Interpol?
Lou backed out of the doorway, grinning like an idiot.
She
recognized his aura the moment he allowed her to sense it. "Falcon?"
she whispered, knowing he was there, yet not accepting it.
He moved
into her office and closed the door behind him. "You once told me a
simple thank you was not enough." He produced a bouquet of pastel roses
from behind his back. "I was to give you flowers, also. I did not
forget."
Steve sat frozen in her chair, still half-believing she was
imagining him. He looked different. Perhaps he'd lost a few pounds. His
hair was shorter, tamer, his eyes perfectly normal, a medium brown
color without any golden lights. When she didn't reach for the flowers,
he laid them on her desk and came around to her side. She stared at the
blossoms, terrified that the slightest movement on her part might cause
him to vanish. Seeing him again was worse than she had expected. When
he left her this time, she would surely die.
"Steve?" His fingertips
touched her cheek, turning her face toward him, but she did not raise
her eyes. "Why did you not call me? I would have heard you. I feel your
need, your confusion. Let me help."
She stood up and backed away
from his touch. "I told you before I wouldn't be able to handle you
coming in and out of my life. That hasn't changed." A gasping sob
escaped her, and she hugged her sides to hold herself together. "Why
are you here?"
"I need you. Even though you did not call me, I have
felt your need of me as well. You were never out of my thoughts. I have
been to Emiron and learned what I needed to know. I cannot make it
without you."
Steve gave up the struggle. Opening her arms, she met
him halfway. Oh, dear God, she was alive again. Falcon was with her,
holding her, taking away her pain. It didn't matter how temporary it
was.
"Are you not curious to hear about my journey?"
She shook her head no, then yes, and they both laughed. He sat down on the chair and urged her onto his lap.
"The
planet, Emiron, is much as I remember it, but the people are not. Their
hopelessness has been reversed. The experiment to save the population
from extinction was a success. Children have been born to the
generation of mixed breeds. You would probably find them most peculiar.
They consist of a wide variety of species, but they are gifted felan
children, and there are thousands of them. I was welcomed, though my
presence there was not required. I have been released from my duty to
them.
"I spoke to many others, like myself, who had undergone all
the transformations I did. Had I remained there all these years I would
have known what to expect. The changes for each began when it was time
to mate. The personal emotions surfaced, the mental and physical powers
increased, and, suddenly, reproduction was a possibility. Do you
remember our first encounter?"
Steve wrinkled her nose at him. "I thought you were a gorgeous pervert. You sniffed me."
Falcon
closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. "Mmmm. Like no other female. If
only I had known then what I know now, I could have spared us both the
pain of these last months. I opened myself to desire whenever I was
near other females, but I had no wish to take pleasure with them. I was
as I always was before—indifferent. Then I would think of you and ache
with need.
'Yet I still could not comprehend that you were meant to
be my mate. It was not until I found myself losing control of my
talents that I understood the rest of the cycle. You recall that your
abilities strengthened, but toward the end of our time together I was
having trouble focusing unless we were touching. That was because you
were already a part of me. My skills are practically useless without
you."
"You've just explained what's been happening to me. I still
have the abilities, but I can't seem to sort them out the way I did
when I was with you. It's been driving me nuts. What does all this
mean, though? What can we do?"
"It is not complicated. As Lou Dokes informed you, I am now your partner."
"Not complicated? The list of complications is a yard long."
Falcon
shifted her to a more comfortable position on his lap and nuzzled her.
neck. In between tiny kisses he eliminated her list. "I had
considerable guidance while on Emiron. With your help I will be able to
cope with anything your world throws at me. With my help, you will
reaccustom yourself to using your mind as you did with me before.
"New
lenses were designed for my eyes. I hardly know they're in place, and
every night, when we're alone, I can remove them. As your partner, I
will be able to do the work I enjoy and not have to hide my special
skills from you. And last, Romulus has appointed me as an official
emissary here in San Francisco. From time to time we will return to
Innerworld to report to him together."
"This is more than a little
awesome, Falcon. But you seem to have forgotten one major point. I have
two children and a mother to take care of. I certainly can't let them
know who you really are."
He frowned at her. "Of course I have not
forgotten. I will take precautions around them. My identity will remain
a secret from them as long as you feel it is necessary."
"You missed
my point. There is nothing I'd love more than knowing you'd be sleeping
in my bed tonight, but you can't. I mean, I can't. It wouldn't be
right."
"You are making no sense, Steve."
"My mother would never
approve, and it wouldn't be proper for the kids to see their mother in
bed with a man she isn't married to."
"Then we must marry."
"What?"
"Can
we take care of this matter today? I have an urgent need to be in that
bed tonight." He let his body confirm that statement.
"Falcon! That's crazy. What would everybody say? There's the license, and Mom would be furious if we didn't tell her first and—"
His mouth pressed against hers, ending all protests as he worked his wonderful magic on her senses.
She surrendered. We could get married in Nevada in a few hours.
He
stopped kissing her immediately. "Nevada? Yes, that is a place of
beginnings for me. We will go there, right after I tell you the most
important thing I learned while we were apart."
"And what might that be? Some new mental trick?"
"No,
not a trick, a new emotion—at least for me." He brought her closer for
another long caress. I love you, Steve. We belong together.
She trembled as the truth of his words filled her soul, and she in turn poured all her love into his. Forever.
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