TORCH (20 page)

When I emerge, Kai is sitting on the bleachers, waiting for me. “I love a girl who does a job well, even when it’s completely bogus,” he says.

“Saving the environment is never bogus,” I say, grinning.

“I saw the way Bianca was baiting you,” he says. “And the way you stayed chill.”

“Don’t be too impressed. I’m always one insult away from a conflagration.”

“I haven’t seen you pop off for weeks,” Kai says. “You’re taming this thing.”

“Or maybe I’m just happier.”

He locks eyes with mine. “Do I have anything to do with that?”

If this amazingly hot guy can look at me with that expression when I’m up to my elbows in garbage, we have something special. “Everything,” I say.

“Well, well,” Bianca says, clicking toward us on the asphalt track. “My dad is right: if you aim low, you’ll always hit your target. Phoenix has found her perfect match.”

“Give it up, Bianca,” I say. “Neither of us wants another detention.”

She perches beside Kai and crosses her legs, so that her skirt becomes nearly invisible. “Nix, relax. I’m happy for you. It’s hard to meet the right guy, but you did it.”

“You’ve got six of them over there,” I say. “Go keep your fans happy.”

But Bianca is having too much fun. “So tell me, how’d you two find each other:  delinquentsinlove.com?”

I just stare, determined not to confirm that Kai and I are together. Kai walks away and starts picking up garbage in a show of silent support.

“Nix, tell me how this works,” she continues. “The guy seriously outranks you in looks, but he flunked a year. Even
you
could do better.”

The fire in my head will roll down my arm if I’m not careful. I think about the other night, playing tag with Kai under the stars, and take deep breaths. When I know the impulse is under control, I make a decision. Bianca can take all the jabs at me that she wants, but she can’t diss the people I love. And Kai, grimly shoving garbage into a bag for me, is definitely someone I love. I need to stand up for him.

Walking over to Bianca, I stare down at her. “I will tell you how this works. You are going to stop talking crap about my boyfriend right now. He outranks me in every way and I’m proud to be seen with him, even picking up trash.” I bend so that I’m right in her face, and she leans backwards, holding up her hands to fend me off. “Start worrying about your own business and stay out of mine. Got it?”

“Or what?” she says, surprisingly defiant, given that she’s nearly horizontal.

I lower my voice so only she can hear. “Or I’ll start telling people about your dad’s doll collection and your beanie zoo.”

“How did you—”

“On the Internet. That kind of thing spreads like wildfire.”

She squirms away me. “You’ll be sorry for this, Phoenix Forsythe.”

“Like I said, stay out of my business. And I will happily stay out of yours.”

I walk over to Kai, take the garbage bag from him and hand it to Bianca. “Turn this in for me when you’re done, okay?” I say. “We’ve got to get going.”

Kai wraps his arm around my shoulders and I wrap mine around his waist. We walk out of the field that way, and it’s only truly painful for the last twenty yards.

K
ai clinks his glass against mine. “You decimated her, without flaring up once,” he says, taking a sip of his soda. "Can I be impressed now?”

I smile. “Only a little. Because I shouldn’t have mentioned the dolls and beanies.”

“Both Regan’s dad and mine were at the scene. They saw the charred doll heads. And a reporter could have posted a photo.”

“Well, I shouldn’t implicate you or Regan in any of this. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not,” he says, reaching over to push a strand of hair behind my ear. “And by the way, you outrank me by far.”

I look around, a bit dazed. Not only are we out together, periodically holding hands across the table in broad daylight, we’re at Roy’s Deli, through which half the school population cycles every day. Someone from my math class is at the counter, and a girl from drama club raises her hand in a friendly wave.

“Look at that,” Kai says. “We’re ‘out’ and the world hasn’t collapsed.”

“I know. It feels weird.”

“Should I be offended?” he asks, grinning.

I clutch his sleeve, which is easier than holding his hand. “No. It’s great to be on a date like a normal couple.”

He glances behind me as the door opens. “Maybe a double date.”

I swivel in time to see Regan sliding into a booth, opposite Flynn Reilly.

“Oh my god,” I say, slouching to hide. “They are not.”

Kai, who has a better view, reports, “They are. He’s rubbing her arm and—bingo—kiss on the lips.”

“No!”

He gestures for me to sit up. “I thought you liked Flynn.”

“As a friend of my brother’s. He’s twenty-four. It’s gross. How
could
she?”

“People are probably saying the same thing about you,” he says.

I turn to peek and see Regan giggling, as Flynn links his fingers through hers. She looks happy. Even blissful. “How could she not tell me?”

“You told her about us?” Kai asks.

“Of course.”

“Right away?”

I glare at him. “This is different.”

“Not so different,” he says. “You figured she’d give you a hard time and she feels the same.” He gives me a chance to argue, and when I don’t he asks, “And did she? Give you a hard time about me?”

“Not really, no. She was pretty supportive in the end.”

He takes a couple of fries and slides the plate toward me. “I guess that’s what good friends do.”

I slide the plate back. “What do you know? You’re a guy.”

“A guy with friends. Not many, but a couple.”

I think about that for a minute. “Wait a second. Did your friends warn you to stay away from me?”

He shrugs. “I’m here aren’t I?”

“Hmmm. We’ll discuss that later. At the moment, I have bigger snakes-in-the-grass to fry.” Getting out of my seat, I walk over to Regan’s table. She’s so caught up in her conversation with Flynn that she doesn’t see me until I’m standing right beside her. I wish I’d grabbed my phone, because the expression on her face—a mixture of pride and guilt and belligerence—is classic.

Flynn’s expression, on the other hand, is smug. “Hey, Phee. Tried the bacon burger? We love them.”

I shake my head. “Never tried one.”

“They’re good,” Regan says, her voice nearly a whisper. “Well, I like them.”

Flynn pats Regan’s arm. “No need to be embarrassed about liking bacon. Phee understands. Don’t you, Phee?”

I understand that he’s telling me to go easy on my friend. “I’m not one for bacon myself, but I can’t judge anyone else’s taste,” I say. “You guys enjoy.”

I can sense Flynn’s grin on my back as I walk away. He still reminds me of my older brother, but not always in the best ways.

K
ai spreads out a towel on the pool deck, and asks, “Have you talked to Regan about Flynn, yet?”

Although we now meet in public sometimes, we prefer to be on our own, late at night—especially in “our place,” the pool, after hours. The fact that Hux must have heard about us by now and hasn’t reacted makes us comfortable here.

We don’t pretend to train anymore. We just hang out, and make out, to the extent we can.

“Not yet,” I tell Kai. “I’m waiting until I can be more positive.”

“What’s so bad about Flynn?” he asks.

“He’s a player,” I say. “Nate used to tell me stories of how he tossed girls aside. I don’t want that to be Regan. It’s her first boyfriend.”

“Maybe he’s changed,” Kai says. “People do.”

“I know,” I say. “But this is my best friend.”

“If it’s a mistake, it’s hers to make. Sometimes people need to take chances.”

He’s talking about us, and I see the parallels, but deep down I feel that the risk I’m taking on Kai is less serious than the one Regan’s taking on Flynn. Even though Kai could kill me. I suppose it’s stupid and irrational. The difference is that I’m inside my relationship, and I trust Kai not to hurt me, whereas I’m outside Regan’s relationship and I don’t trust Flynn not to hurt her. I’m trying to be objective, but it’s a challenge. And until I can be the friend I should be, I’ll avoid Regan.

“Let’s not talk about Regan and Flynn,” I say.

“Agreed,” he says. “Let’s talk about us and our success as a fire-fighting duo.”

“It’s been over a month without a single arson,” I say. “At this rate, we’re going to have to take on wildfires to stay in shape.”

“I miss it,” he says. “At least, I miss the adrenaline hit, and the buzz of working with you.”

“I miss that, too. But I don’t miss worrying about my dad, and the people fighting those fires, like your dad and Regan’s.”

Kai pulls a couple of sodas out of his backpack and hands one to me.

“Can I ask you something?” I say.

He sighs. “A guy can't help getting nervous when his girl says that.”

“I’m just wondering... We’re out in public more. Our parents are going to hear about us soon, if they haven't already. How does your dad feel about my dad now?”

Kai’s expression darkens. “It shouldn’t matter what our families think, right?”

I was afraid of this. “Your parents hate me.”

“They don’t even know you. How could they hate you?”

“They hate the
idea
of me. They hate Torches.”

“They don’t hate Torches.” He rubs his forehead with both hands. “We’re in Rosewood because they think everyone is an individual. They believe Torches can choose not to start fires.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“The same problem your dad has with me. It’s all good in theory, and different when it applies to their own kids. They want us to be safe, and this—” he picks up my hand and squeezes it—“will seem dangerous to my folks.”

“So what’s going to happen? When they find out?”

“It’ll be a rough ride for awhile. My dad has an issue with your dad. He thinks Ray’s a wild card, and that if he can’t handle his emotions, he’s a risk to everyone.”

I feel myself warming up, and Kai feels it, too, because he drops my hand and leans over to dip his in the pool, to cool it.

“Phee, your dad thinks my dad killed your brother. It’s not an ideal situation.”

For a minute, I’m too upset to speak. The fears I've been suppressing for months bubble to the surface and one line runs through my head: “we can’t win, we can’t win, we can’t win.” With every repetition, my core temperature seems to rise. I remember what my life was like before Kai. How can I go back to the Phoenix who was pissed off at nearly everyone, and showed it by flaming at random? I don’t even know that Phoenix anymore. With Kai, I’m a better person. Almost a normal person. Who will I be without him?

Finally, I murmur, “What are we going to do?”

He tips up my chin and stares into my eyes. “Ride it out. Prove we can handle each other. Prove we can stand up to criticism and pressure.”

Tears fill my eyes. Unfortunately, the new and improved Phoenix cries more easily. “Can we ride it out?”

He nods. “We can. I’m not going anywhere. I love you.”

This is the point where most people would get a little flushed, but Kai’s words have exactly the opposite effect on me. It’s like I’ve stepped into a cool stream. I can almost feel the water rushing around me, taking the heat with it. “I love you, too,” I say. Leaning down, he kisses me, and for the first time in a long time, I feel like I can truly relax. I let the cool stream carry me off, only half aware of hands travelling, his and mine. Clothes fall away, leaving skin on skin. Hot meets cold, we move apart, and hot meets cold again. His lips, my lips, fingertips, dry heat and dampness, all blurring together.

But suddenly everything comes into sharp focus, as Kai’s hand slides up my inner thigh, getting colder and colder with every inch. My body reacts in the old way, by burning. I push Kai away, whimpering, “Hurts, hurts.”

“I’m sorry,” Kai says, reaching for me. “I thought you—”

“I did. It was great.”I slip my T-shirt back over my head and put his hand back on my waist. “I just panicked for a second, that’s all.”