Torn (25 page)

Mo noticed his eyes on her, but ignored him. Instead, she plopped down on their suede couch and curled up in the warm blanket. Not wanting to be anywhere near her, Quan sat on the floor and leaned up against the wall. Both of them sat in deep thought. Quan knew Mo was hurting, and wanted desperately to go over and console his boo.

Though they weren't married, she was his wife, his life, his hopes and dreams. Quan never loved anybody the way he loved Mo. But to hear his woman making love to another man, especially his boy, tore him up inside. Mo might as well have shot him dead. Now things were all fucked up. She'd fucked his man and he'd had a baby on her. There was no way their relationship could survive after all of that.

Mo was thinking the same thing as she stared at the ceiling in agony. Quan didn't know it but she was crying. All she could think about was the way he used to love her. He used to treat her with the utmost respect. But in Mo's eyes, having a baby on her with another girl was the ultimate sign of disrespect.
Maybe if I hadn't nagged him so much, he wouldn't have strayed
, she thought as she wiped her eyes for the umpteenth time.

Getting up from the floor, Quan walked over to the closet and pulled out his old portable radio. It was the same radio he and Mo used to listen to back in the day. Mo watched him as he fumbled through an old box of cassette tapes. As much as she tried not to be, Mo couldn't help but be attracted to him.

Quan was beautiful in a thugged-out way. After putting the tape in, he turned and faced Mo. Marvin Gaye's "
Just to Keep
You Satisfied
" was playing softly, filling up the room.

Everything Quan wanted to say was in that song. So much built up pain and frustration was in him that he couldn't even stop the tear that fell from his eyes. In the nine years they'd been together, Mo had never seen Quan cry.

"So that's what it takes?" she asked.

"What are you talkin' about?"

"It takes for me to get grimy for you to see how much you hurt me?"

"I can't believe you got me up here cryin' like a lil' bitch," he laughed, biting down on his bottom lip.

"You made me cry, too," she replied, getting up and going over to him.

"Man ... you don't know how much this shit hurt."

"Yeees, I do. You do remember Sherry, don't you?"

"Not now, ma."

"Well when, Quan? We gon' have to talk about this sometime."

"You wanna talk? A'ight let's talk. Why you fuck my boy?"

"You want the truth?"

"Nah, I want you to lie," he said in a sarcastic tone.

"'Cause I wanted to hurt you, that's why. When I heard you on the phone with that bitch I spazzed out, and the first thing on my mind after that was to hurt you as much as you had hurt me."

"But my boy, Mo?"

"I mean, what you want me to say, Quan? That I'm sorry 'cause I'm not. You wasn't sorry when you fucked that bitch," she answered truthfully.

"Oh, so we playin' tit for tat now?"

"Why it gotta be tit for tat when I do something, but when you do something it's all good."

"I can't even front, I noticed for years how that nigga would look at you, but I ignored it," Quan responded, ignoring her comment.

"So what's up wit you and Sherry?" Mo questioned, changing the subject.

"What you mean what's up wit her? Ain't shit up wit her.

Today was the first time in a long time I took it there with her.

I swear," Quan lied, still unable to tell the whole truth.

Knowing fully well he was lying, Mo shook her head in disbelief.

"So what now?" he questioned, looking down at her.

"I don't know ... you tell me."

Unsure, Quan sat in silence, staring out into space, knowing it was going to take more than love to pull them through this time.

12

Luv Ain't No Maybe Thing

The next morning, Mo and Quan lay on the floor in the
front of the fire place, knocked out. The two had fallen asleep
there.
They didn't know it, but the lights were back on.

Waking up, Quan rubbed his eyes and focused his attention on his surroundings. It took him a minute to realize where he was at first, but once he did, all the prior day's events came flooding back.

All the yelling, cussing and fighting filled his mind. No matter how hard he tried, Quan just couldn't seem to get Mo's moans out of his head. Over and over her voice echoed in his ear like a song stuck on repeat.
Ooh ...West! That's it, baby ...

lick it just like that! Ooh ... West! That's it, baby ... lick it just
like that!

"Damn, I can't believe she really fucked my boy," he whispered out loud.

Tired of thinking, he shook his head and tried to get up, but couldn't because Mo's head was lying on his chest.

Looking down at her peaceful, sleeping face, Quan instantly became heated all over again. Nothing could erase the heartache she'd caused. At that moment, all he wanted was for Mo to be as far away from him possible. He couldn't stand the sight of her face, let alone her skin touching his, so he pushed her off of him and onto on the floor.

"What you push me for?" she asked, waking up.

"I couldn't get up wit you on me," he answered nonchalantly.

"Oh, what time is it?"

"I don't know. The lights back on," Quan answered, opening up the window shades.

"I see. So what you got going on today?"

"Shit. I might stop in the hood. Probably go get a shape up."

"Umm, Quan ... I know I shouldn't be askin' you this but

... what's gonna happen to West?"

"What?" Quan spun around with an angry look on his face.

"What ... are you ... going to do ... to West?" She spoke a little slower.

"Why?"

"'Cause I wanna know."

"But why? I mean, you mighty concerned about a muthafucka you claim you ain't got no feelings for!"

"Here you go," Mo snapped as she shot up from the floor.

"Nah, nah, nah, don't run! Don't walk away! Why you worried about that man?!" Quan said, blocking Mo's path.

"I'm not worried about him. I just asked you a question."

"You got feelings for that cat, don't you?"

"Oh my God! You are soooo fuckin' insecure!"

"I know you ain't callin' nobody insecure wit yo' ole I'ma-blow-up-yo'-cell-phone-until-you-answer ass!"

"Whateva. I ain't got time for this," Mo rolled her eyes and waved him off. "You tryin' to start an argument!"

"I must be right, you ain't tryin' to deny it!"

"Whateva, Quan! Think what you wanna think!" she yelled, bypassing him, heading into the kitchen.

"You know what? You really something, ma!" Quan chuckled, following her.

"What the fuck are you talkin' about?!" Mo snapped, irritated and confused.

"I can't believe you had the audacity to sit up there and ask me what's gon' happen to that man. You need to be happy ain't shit happened to you!"

"Boy, please." She ignored him while opening up the refrigerator.

"You been wanting to fuck that nigga, haven't you?!"

"I'm not gon' argue wit you! It's too early in the morning for this shit."

"Damn, I can't believe it's true," Quan said, more to himself than to her.

"I can't believe you even coming to me with this dumb shit!"

"It's cool, ma. You ain't gotta admit it." Quan smirked.

"But check it; I got something I wanna tell you."

"What?!" Mo yelled, slamming the refrigerator door shut.

"This right here," he said, pointing his finger back and forth between them, "ain't gon' work."

"Say that again?" Mo questioned, stunned.

"Look, I'm tryin' not to hurt you, but I ain't feelin' this."

"What the fuck you mean you ain't feelin' this?!" She rolled her neck.

"How many more ways do you want me to say it?! I don't want you no more? This shit ain't workin'? I can't keep fuckin' wit you? Which one works for you?!" Quan shot sarcastically.

"You's a selfish son of a bitch, you know that?! It was okay when I stayed wit you after the numerous times I caught you cheatin' on me, but the one time I mess up you wanna say it's over! Negro please!" Mo spat, mushing him in the head.

"What the fuck I tell you about putting yo' hands on me?" he snapped, grabbing her by the neck then pushing her away.

"What you gon' do Quan, beat my ass?!" She stepped back up. "I wish you would touch me! I'll have every last one of my brothas come over here and whoop yo' ass!"

"Mo, please. Get somewhere and sit yo' ass down!" Quan mean-mugged her as he went back into the living room and snatched up his clothes. As he dressed, he told Mo, "Now what you need to do is start packin' up yo' shit so you can be the fuck up outta here by the time I get back!"

"Nigga please, I ain't going nowhere! We ain't breakin' up until I say so! This shit ain't never ending!"

"Yeah, a'ight, ma ... if that's what it's gon' take to make you feel better, then go ahead and tell yo'self that. But don't be surprised if you come home one day and all yo' shit gone."

"Is that a threat?"

"Keep fuckin' wit me and find out," Quan promised as he grabbed his keys and left.

"You know what? Do what you gotta do, boo!" Mo yelled as she watched him leave. Not knowing what her next move should be, she picked up the phone and called the one person she knew she could count on in times like these.

"Mina's Joint?" Her best friend answered on the first ring.

"I hate him! I fuckin' hate him!" Mo cried into the phone.

"Hate who? Girl, speak English. What happened?"

"Quan! He said he want me to leave." Her lips trembled as tears ran down her face and into her mouth.

"What happened? He didn't hit you, did he?"

"Yeah, I mean no. I fucked West."

"What?!"

"It's a long story. After I heard him and Sherry fuckin', I got him back by fuckin' West."

"That was so stupid. Why would you do that?"

"At the time it seemed like the right thing to do. But fuck all of that! You know that no-good son-of-a-bitch got a son wit that hoe."

"A son? I thought you said he said that baby wasn't his!"

"That's what he lied and said at first, but now I know the truth."

"Oh my God, Mo. You need to leave his trifling ass alone!" Mina scolded her friend.

"I know ... I know I do. It's just hard, Mina."

"Nah, fuck that! Enough is enough! You don't need that corny-ass nigga! Let's be real! What more does he have to do?

Give you AIDS? Is that what you want your wake-up call to be?"

"No! But what would you do? Would it be that easy for you to leave Victor if he cheated on you?"

"I'm not saying it would be easy, but damn, Mo, how much more bullshit he gotta take you through? I don't care how hard you try to act! I know you be over there hurting and I'm tired of it!"

"You're right! He don't want me here and I don't need to be here ... so ... I'ma leave."

"Good. You know you can come stay with me, right?"

"I know, thank you, but I'm just gon' go over to Quan's mother's house," Mo sniffed, wiping her eyes.

"You sure? I got plenty of room."

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"A'ight, call me if you need anything."

"I will," Mo replied before hanging up.

Quan stormed into Leroy's on a mission to kill. A couple of fellas around the way had given him a head nod, but he didn't reply. His attention was on West, who was sitting in the barber chair before him. Quan wanted to blow his brains out. He was laughing and grinning as if everything was all good. West thought he was the man, but Quan was about to show him who the real man was in the streets.

"Yo, Q, what's good, baby?" West spoke, not paying attention to the hate in his eyes.

Without saying a word, Quan pulled out the pistol tucked inside his jeans and struck West in the head. Everybody in shop jumped up out of their seats and cleared the way. Niggas loved seeing a good fight, so no one dared to jump in.

Quan had completely blacked out. The blow from the gun caused the skin in West's forehead to bust open and spurt out blood. Surprised by the hit, he quickly started swinging. Both men were amped and out for blood. For a minute they went heads up with no clear winner, but when West went to grab the gun, it was on. All of sudden, Quan had superhuman strength.

Using all of his might, he swung West across the shop, causing him to slam his back into the vending machine and fall.

"What the fuck is yo' problem, man?" West yelled, holding his stomach.