Touch Me There (21 page)

Cleanliness is often a concern when it comes to fooling around with the exit-only area. If you or your partner has issues with cleanliness, con- sider the following tactics to make both of you more comfortable during prostate pleasuring:

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Take a shower before and after prostate play.

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Wear gloves, rolling them off from the wrist when you’re done.

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Use an anal douche kit ahead of time.

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Have towels, handiwipes, hand sanitizer, and a garbage bag readily available in case they’re needed.

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Wash your hands right after sex play.

Consider using a sex toy, preferably one that is covered with a condom, to deal with any cleanliness issues, at least until you’re more comfortable with prostate play. Acrylic anal toys that have a wide safety base are rec- ommended for stimulating the anus.

Finger Action for Prostate Pleasure

There are a number of positions a man can utilize to have his prostate stimulated. He can

• lie down on his back with his knees bent and feet flat on the floor or bed, or with his knees drawn up to his chest
  
• kneel
  
• sit, leaning back against a support or wall
  
• squat
  
• get on his hands and knees
  
• lie on his side
  
• lie on his stomach (which offers the most direct way to stimulate the prostate)
  

Placing a pillow or prop under his buttocks will make some positions easier.

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EXERCISE 6.1:
Pleasuring the Prostate

To locate and stimulate the prostate gland, perform the following exercise:

1. Sit between your partner’s legs, and once he’s sexually aroused, slowly insert the tip of your well-lubricated index finger into his anus.
   
2. Check in with your partner to see how he’s doing. If he’s comfort- able, continue to insert your finger up to the second knuckle.
   
3. About two or three inches inside the rectum, along the front rectal wall (the side toward the stomach), you’ll be able to feel the prostate through the wall. It will feel like a walnut or dome.
   
4. If he’s not fully relaxed, simply hold the area by pressing your finger firmly against the prostate for ten to thirty seconds. You can also slowly move your fingers in and out of the anus in a light thrusting motion.
   
5. Once both of you are feeling more comfortable, press gently against the prostate, curling your finger upward to execute a firm “come- hither” motion. (Your entire finger will need to be in the anus. It may be easier to use your middle finger.)
   
6. Your fingertip will be tapping or rubbing against his prostate, so ask your partner if he would like for your touch to be a little more firm and if he prefers one motion more than the other.
   
7. Gently stroke the gland in a downward direction, massaging it. Check in with your partner to find out what he would like for you to do or continue doing to gradually bring him to one of the best orgasms of his whole life!
   

If he loses his erection at any point, don’t take this as a sign that there’s necessarily something wrong. He may just be uncomfortable and need to relax more fully. Also, with all of his attention on his prostate and anus, he is not going to be focusing on his penis, which is another reason

it may go slack. He may still be having a ball, so make sure to ask him how he’s doing and avoid making a big deal over whether or not he has an erec- tion, or how strong or weak it is.

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TIPS
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Combine acts.

At the same time that you’re pleasuring his prostate, stimulate his penis manually by massaging it or orally by simply sucking on it like a lollipop; this will double the incredible sensations he’s experiencing.

Spice up the finger action.

Once you’re comfortable and more experienced with his responses and prefer- ences, slowly slide your fingers rhythmically from side to side across his G-spot. Switch to firmly rocking your finger(s) from side to side across this erogenous zone.

Thrust.

Work your finger, or fingers, in and out of the anus, exerting pressure upward to stimulate his G-spot every time you go deep.

Cuddle the prostate.

Push his penis toward his lower abs. This causes the roots of the corpus cavernosa to internally massage his prostate.

Sexual Health Considerations

Sexually transmitted infections (STIs), including hepatitis B and HIV, can be spread when stimulating the prostate via the anal canal, so con- sider wearing a latex glove to reduce the risk of transmission, especially if you have any cuts or sores on your hands. Furthermore, after anal play do not insert a finger or a sex toy into a woman’s vagina or a partner’s anus without washing it first, as this can cause infection.

Perineum

The perineum, or
P-spot,
the acupressure point known as Inner Meeting or Hui-Yin, meaning the Gate of Life and Death, is the patch of skin, rich in nerve endings, that lies between a man’s testicles and anus (see Figure

1. on page 85). (In a woman, the perineum lies between the vaginal opening and the anus.) In the male, stimulating this muscular band of flesh can result in both prostate and penile stimulation. It is further re- nowned for its role in delaying ejaculation when pressed, especially when long, firm pressure is applied at the same time that a man takes slow, deep breaths. For couples who would like to stimulate the prostate but have issues with anal play, try pressing against his perineum with the ball of your thumb.
   

   Yet another reason why the perineum is a well-appreciated hot spot is because of its role in moving the body’s energy. Reflexology holds that there are two channels for circulating chi, the energy that helps to remove blockages in the meridians, activating more energy and revitalizing the body. The first channel, known as the Conception or Functional merid- ian, begins in the perineum, at the base of the body’s trunk, in both males and females. It travels along the front of the body, going past the genitals, stomach, heart, and throat to end at the tip of the tongue. The second channel, called the Governor meridian, begins in the same location and travels along the back of the body, into the tailbone, up through the spine, and into the brain. From there it loops back down through the roof of the mouth. Stimulating the perineum is said to help facilitate this circulation of energy.
   

   Finger and Oral Action for Perineal Pleasuring
   

   When you press the perineum, you’ll feel the bone close to the scrotum and a spongy area closer to the anus. To find the prostate gland, which sits directly above the perineum, you’ll need to feel for a slight indentation or ropy cord. Once found, you can indirectly stimulate the prostate, as well as the base of the penis, by using one long, firm push or several rhythmic pushes. You can also caress it, tap it, massage it, tongue it, stroke it with your fingertips, use your fingers to vibrate against it, or use an actual vi- brator or other sex toy on it. Pushing against it with your palm or the sec- ond knuckle of your middle finger, possibly vibrating it, is especially effec- tive as well. Regardless of what you do, it’s important to press softly at
   

   first and to vary the direction and amount of pressure every now and then. Try going in clockwise circles, then switching to counterclockwise circles. Massage up and down, then from side to side, then diagonally. No matter what your style, try to stimulate the anal opening or his penis, pos- sible cupping his scrotum at times, as you tease the perineum. Other hot spots must not be ignored!
   

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   EXERCISE 6.2:
   The Perineal Pause
   

   1. Run your first three fingers down the crevice of his buttocks, stop- ping at his perineum.
      
   2. Gently press his P-spot for a full second.
      
   3. Sweep your fingers back up the crevice.
      
   4. Make sure he’s breathing fully throughout the exercise. Ask him if he would like more pressure or if you need to adjust the placing of your pressure.
      
   5. Repeat steps 1–3, this time firmly applying pressure with your fin- gers for two full seconds.
      
   6. Continue this press-and-release move several times, adding a second each time.