Trace + Olivia Series Boxed Set (114 page)

I’d gone a whole week without seeing Trenton. I thought I might be relieved to have him gone—instead I felt slightly empty inside and I… I missed him. Man, that was hard to admit, even to myself. I missed the way he always seemed to pop up when I least expected him and how his smile made butterflies flutter in my tummy.

I startled when someone’s arm draped over my shoulders as I walked across campus. For a second there I dared to hope it was Trent, but when I looked over a laughing Jude met me. “Did I scare you?”

“You know you did,” I shrugged off his shoulder. “That wasn’t nice,” I clutched my books tightly against my chest as I headed across campus toward my last class of the day.

“Are you sure I really scared you or were you hoping I was someone else?” He raised a brow as he fell into step beside me.

I frowned, looking down at my black ballet flats.

“I knew it!” He threw a fist in the air. “You really like him! And here I was beginning to think that no guy would ever strike your fancy. I’m relieved to know that your ovaries do indeed work.”

I rolled my eyes, reaching up to adjust the hat on my head that was protecting me from the frigid air. “Trust me, my ovaries work just fine.”

Jude jogged ahead of me and grabbed the door, holding it open for me. I stepped inside the warm building. “Thanks… that was rather gentlemanly of you,” I noted, unwinding my scarf from around my neck.

“That’s me. Jude the Gentleman,” he grinned easily as we headed into class together. Since we were both studying the same thing, we shared most of our classes. Sitting down beside me, Jude asked, “Are you studying tonight?”

I gave him a ‘duh’ look.

He chuckled, rubbing his jaw. “At the library?”

I nodded. “What’s with all the questions?”

He shrugged. “I was wondering if I could join you. My roommate is always playing this heavy metal shit and I can’t think straight. Plus, you’re smart, so you can help me.”

I rolled my eyes. “Jude, we both know you’re way smarter than me, so flattery will get you nowhere. But if you’d like to join me, that’s fine.”

He smiled widely. “Thanks.”

“What are you up to?” I narrowed my eyes on him.

“Nothing,” he smiled innocently, crossing his arms behind his head.

“
Jude
,” I warned.

He smirked. “I heard some pretty hot girls hangout at the library. I was thinking of branching out.”

“Have you banged all the sluts you can handle? Moving onto the good girls now?” I mocked. “I’ve got news for you, smart girls won’t fall for your charms. It looks like you might have to give it up, unless you want to fuck the same girl twice,” I patted his shoulder in mock sympathy.

Jude laughed at my words. “Oh, Row, you don’t know me at all. I can charm any girl I want out of her pants.”

“Not me,” I snorted, searching my bag for a pencil and my notes.

“Trust me, I could if I wanted to,” he assured me. “I’ve never released my powers on you.”

I eyed him doubtfully. “Is that supposed to hurt my feelings? Or should I be proud that you like me enough not to ruin our friendship with sex?”

“Proud,” he nodded, fighting a smile, “definitely proud.”

I rolled my eyes, focusing on the professor as he strode into the room and began the lesson. Now wasn’t the time to be thinking about Jude’s sex life.

I pulled my hair back, securing it with a hair tie, and shoved the book away from me. I’d been reading the same sentence for the last thirty minutes, and that wasn’t like me. I knew what my problem was. I kept waiting to feel the familiar tingles that announced Trent’s presence. But they weren’t coming. He was at school and I had at least two more weeks before I’d see him. Trent had succeeded in invading my every thought—just like he had when we were in high school. After our friendship ended I never stopped thinking about him or wishing for things that I knew would never come true. So, it was easy for me to fall for him—he already stole my heart a long time ago, and I never got it back… I think that was part of the reason I tended to feel so hollow inside.

“Are you okay?” Tatum’s voice broke through my thoughts.

“Yeah,” I forced a small smile, “I’m fine.”

She rolled her eyes. “You are
so
not fine. I’m your friend, talk to me,” she pleaded.

I wished I could, but I didn’t know how to open up. Expressing my feelings didn’t come naturally to me. My mom had made me feel like a worthless piece of shit—always wanting me to be invisible and never to speak. I didn’t even know how to put into words what I was feeling.

“It’s nothing,” I shrugged, reluctantly sliding the book towards me so I could resume studying.

Tate shook her head, her pretty blonde hair swishing around her shoulders. “Sometimes, I just don’t get you,” she mumbled.

I flinched at her tone, knowing I should tell her that I missed Trent, but it wasn’t that easy for me. I felt ridiculous for even missing the guy; to voice those words out loud… it made me feel weak, like I was admitting that I needed him… which I didn’t. I was perfectly fine on my own. I wouldn’t allow myself to be dependent on someone else for my happiness, I’d only end up disappointed in the end.

I knew I should say something to Tatum, apologize for my inability to talk to her, but I couldn’t.

I went back to my studies and only faltered when a little while later Tate muttered under her breath, “You have got to be fucking kidding me.”

I’d never heard Tatum cuss before, so my eyes widened in surprise. I put the book down to see what had made her suddenly so venomous and found her staring at Jude.

“You two know each other?” I questioned.

Tatum’s eyes were murderous. “
You
know
him?
” She countered.

“He’s my friend?” I don’t know why my words came out sounding like a question.

“Well, if it isn’t little Tate,” Jude smirked, his eyes lingering on her chest, which was concealed by a thick black sweater, and finally venturing up to make eye contact.

“Jude,” she spat out the word like it was something sour in her mouth. “I see you haven’t changed since high school.”

He chuckled, shrugging off his backpack, and dropping it onto the table. He pulled out a chair and plopped down across from Tatum.

“And I see you still have that same fiery attitude,” he leaned forward.

“Don’t think I won’t kick you in the balls again,” she warned.

“Once was enough,” he grinned crookedly, eyeing her with mischief in his eyes, “I assure you I’ve healed though, and I’m in perfect working order if you’d like to check it out.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re a pig.”

“And you,” he leaned forward, steepling his fingers, “are a tease.”

I watched their back and forth banter like one would a tennis match. I was mesmerized and disgusted all at once.

“I don’t think it counts as being a tease if you’re only trying to avoid contracting some nasty disease,” she sneered, gathering up her books. “You never could handle rejection.”

“What can I say? I’m not used to it,” he smirked cockily, crossing his arms behind his head as he watched her stand and sling her backpack over her shoulder. “Don’t worry though, I quite enjoy a chase, and this one is only starting,” he winked.

“Ugh,” she rolled her eyes before leveling him with a glare, “I would’ve thought four whole years of rejection would have been enough for you. Don’t waste your time with me,” she pointed a finger at him, “because you’re never getting these off,” she dramatically lifted the bottom of her shirt and reached down to hook her thumb through the top of her panties.

She flipped her hair over her shoulder, stealthily flashing him her middle finger, then storming away dramatically.

Jude wore a funny smile—one I couldn’t quite pinpoint—then he looked over at me. “She doesn’t know it yet, but I’m going to marry that girl.”

I snorted. “Your confidence amazes me.”

“It’s the truth,” he shrugged, glancing over his shoulder as her form disappeared around the corner, “that girl… there’s something about her.”

I couldn’t help it; I busted out laughing at the absurdity of the situation. “Care to elaborate?”

“Not much to tell,” he opened his book, eyes downcast.

“There’s always something to tell,” I pressed, my curiosity getting the best of me.

He looked up, flicking his straight dark hair out of his eyes. “Well, you see, when I was a freshman, I kind of ended up sleeping with her brother’s girlfriend. He found out and spouted off to me, but it didn’t go any farther than that. Until little Tate there found out. I didn’t know who she was at that point,” he smiled wistfully, “she sashayed up to me in the halls one day, laying it on thick I might add, and then kicked me in the balls. She started screaming about her brother and I figured out who she was pretty quick. I liked her spunk,” he shrugged. “From that day on, I couldn’t get her out of my head.”

I stared at him, mystified. “And yet you sleep around.”

“Hey, while I’m waiting for her to wake up and see that we’re gonna make babies one day, I don’t see the point in not having some fun.”

Boys.

“That makes no sense whatsoever,” I shook my head.

“It doesn’t have to,” he shrugged, his brows furrowing as he read.

I let the subject drop, trying not to laugh at the ridiculousness. Tatum and Jude knew each other. What were the odds? And Tate had a brother? She’d never mentioned a brother to me. She didn’t tell me a lot, just like I didn’t tell her much. I guessed we both had our secrets.

Thirty minutes later, I looked at the time and cursed under my breath. I needed to change and clock in.

I explained to Jude where I was running off to and he lifted his head in acknowledgement.

I ran to the restroom, pulling my change of clothes out of my backpack. I shucked my jeans and pulled on the black pencil skirt. My sweater went next, replaced with a white button down blouse that I tucked into the skirt.

I stuffed my school clothes into the bag and ran for the backroom to clock in. I knew Mary and none of the others would care if I was a little late, especially after the talk I’d had with Mary the previous time I was running behind. Besides, they already knew I was here studying.

Mary shook her head at me when I appeared at the desk. “Silly girl,” she muttered, before dolling out tasks.

I relaxed into the tranquil monotony of replacing books on shelves. Occasionally someone would ask me for help locating a particular book and I was happy to oblige. It made me sad that the library wasn’t as busy as it once was. With computers and kindles, most people didn’t see the need to come to the library.

Hours passed and soon it was time to close. I changed back into my school clothes, replaced my contacts with my glasses, and sat down at an empty table to get more studying done. The professors were going easy on us, with winter break approaching so soon, but I didn’t want to get behind. I needed to stay ahead of my studies.

Since the library typically closed early, I had a good hour of study time before I had to head home to feed the kids and get them ready for bed.

The times when I stayed late like this were the only break I seemed to get. Most would probably find the large library on the spooky side if they were here by themselves. I’d turned off most of the lights, expect for the ones in the section I occupied, and there was something eerie about the large black shadows casted by the bookshelves. I was never scared, though. This place… it was the only place that truly felt like home to me. It was welcoming and it was easy to lose myself in the scent of book pages.

I finished studying, but lingered for a few more minutes, letting my fingers glide along the spines of the books as I passed them by.

The minute I walked out of these doors, it was back to reality, and I wanted to feel this comfort for a little while longer. Silly? Definitely. However, I didn’t care.

My drive home was silent. I had no desire to listen to the radio. I knew when I walked in the door, I’d be assaulted by Tristan and Ivy’s endless chatter. I didn’t mind it though. I actually enjoyed talking to the kids. Right now, though, I needed silence—a clear head. My step-dad was back home, and my mom had been an even bigger bitch the last week than she normally was. I wondered if she’d seen me practically mauling Trent with my mouth and greedy hands in his car. If she had, she didn’t say anything. Something was off about her. Well, she was always in a mood, but more so than usual. She was a confusing person. I’d never understood why she drowned her sorrows in alcohol. Now, too much damage had been done for me to ever care to find out. I didn’t understand the lure of the bottle though. I wasn’t the type to give up. I fought. Maybe that was something I inherited from my dad—a man I didn’t even know the name of. My mom never talked about him. Supposedly he’d bailed before I was even born. With the lies she told though, my guess was that wasn’t even true. It sucked pretty bad when you couldn’t believe anything that came out of your mother’s mouth. She was the one person I should’ve been able to go to with anything, but I couldn’t. The one time I did… well, that was a story for another time.