I did as he said, not because he was being bossy, but because I wanted to. I’d become used to Jude wrapping his body around mine as we drifted off to sleep.
In fact, it was getting more difficult to go to sleep without him.
Since we’d worked things out he’d brought up living together a few more times, but I always shot him down. It wouldn’t take much more convincing on his part for me to give in.
The fact of the matter was, I wasn’t scared anymore.
Jude told me he wanted it all with me—a future filled with marriage and babies.
I used to never imagine my future, but now I did, and it included Jude as my husband and a dark haired baby boy.
One day.
One day soon.
I SAT STRAIGHT UP, staring around the dark room.
Wait…
Dark. Room.
“Oh, shit.”
My eyes darted to the clock and widened at the time.
“Jude,” I groaned, pushing his shoulder.
“Hmmm?” He hummed in his sleep. He cracked one eye open. “What?”
“We were supposed to be having dinner with my dad an hour ago!” I slid from the bed, frantically searching for my clothes. “We slept too long!”
“Fuck,” he growled hotly, rubbing the heels of his hands against his eyes. “I’m sorry, Tate.”
“Don’t say you’re sorry!” I cried, grabbing my shorts off the floor. “Just get out of bed and get dressed. I have to call him and tell him we’re coming.”
“Oh, we came alright,” he smirked.
“Jude!” I picked his shirt up and threw it at his head, where he sat on the edge, deliciously rumpled.
He laughed as he put his shirt on. “It’s true,” he shrugged.
Once we were dressed we did our best to fix our rumpled appearance, but it was futile. It would take my dad two seconds to figure out what we’d been up to. I only hoped he didn’t comment on it. I wasn’t sure I could handle the embarrassment right now.
Since I’d driven here by myself we had to take separate cars to my house.
I used the time to try to calm down. I told myself repeatedly that everything would be okay, but so far I didn’t believe my own words.
It might’ve been better if Jude and I could’ve ridden together. I was sure he’d have done a far better job at making me feel better, because my self-imposed pep talk wasn’t working.
When we got to my house I was shaking like a leaf.
“Everything’s going to be fine, Tatum,” I told myself one last time before pushing my stiff body out of the car.
Jude met me and took my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “Everything is going to be fine.” They were the same words I’d just told myself but they sounded more believable coming from his mouth.
Jude paused at the front door and gave me time to catch my breath.
When I knew I was okay—well, as okay I could be—I nodded and he opened the door.
The house was so eerily quiet that I almost believed he hadn’t arrived home yet, but when we entered the kitchen it was lit up, and he sat at the same spot at the kitchen table where he’d been the last time. Only now, he looked very different. His eyes weren’t angry and tired; instead they were full of trepidation and worry. He’d put on a little weight and his smile wasn’t grim like it was before. He wasn’t quite normal—or the smiling, loving dad I remembered from most of my childhood—but it was an improvement. So, I’d take it.
“Hi, Tatum,” he nodded at me, clasping his hands, with a sad smile on his lips. “Jude.” He nodded at him too. “Sit, please,” he waved his hands at the free chairs. “I got your message that you were running late so I just ordered the pizzas. They should be here shortly.”
“How are you?” I asked. I wasn’t sure what the customary thing to say in a situation like this was, so I settled on that. It seemed harmless and safe enough.
“Better,” he replied, his shoulders lifting slightly in a barely-there shrug. “I have a long way to go.” He cleared his throat and looked between Jude and I. “I want to apologize about the horrible things I said to you both. I wasn’t…well.” He flinched. “I hope you can both forgive me.” I nodded and Jude did as well. Speaking solely to Jude, he said, “I’m so sorry for the hurtful things I said and that you witnessed. You are good enough for my daughter.” Lowering his head, he mumbled, “You’re a far better man than I am.” He lifted his head gradually and when he looked at me tears shimmered in his eyes. “I was horrible to you, Tatum. I can’t believe the things I did and said to you. To your brother. Your mom,” he bit down on his fist and shook his head. Regaining his composure, he continued, “I will spend the rest of my life regretting everything I’ve done. I wasn’t a good husband or father.”
“You weren’t always horrible, dad,” I interjected. “There were good times. Remember those too, they shouldn’t be forgotten just because there’s bad.” I slid out of my seat and walked over to him. He startled when I reached out to hug him. “I love you, dad.” Pulling away, I looked into his eyes, “But you have to understand that I need to protect myself and if…” I closed my eyes, taking a steadying breath so I could say what I needed to say. “If things go back to the way they were before, I will leave.”
He nodded his head. “I understand. I’m trying my hardest to be better.”
“I know,” I kissed the top of his head. “I’m putting the past behind me and we’re starting new.” I stared into his eyes so he’d know I was serious. “It’s up to you to decide where we go from here. Understand?”
His eyes closed and he let out a shaky breath. “I understand.”
“Good,” I stood up straight as the doorbell rang. Jude left to get the door and came back carrying the pizzas.
“Let’s go to the family room and watch TV.” I pointed and Jude immediately turned on his heel, heading out of the kitchen. I turned to look at my dad over my shoulder. “Come on, dad. Let’s put a movie on and eat. Like the good times.”
“Like the good times,” he mimed, pushing his hands against the table as he stood. He grabbed my arm, halting me in the doorway so I couldn’t leave. My heart sped up and my throat closed with fear, but I forced myself to relax. My dad was better now, but that didn’t stop me from fearing him. It would take time for me to completely be okay around him again, but I was going to do my best, because I wasn’t lying when I told him I wanted us to move forward. He was my dad after all. “When did you get so grown up?” He asked me, his mouth tilted down sadly. “Where’d my little girl go?”
“My brother died,” I shrugged. “My mom shut down and my dad,” I eyed him, not in angry way, just bluntly, “was an asshole. I didn’t have any choice but to grow up at a young age.” Shoving my hands in my pockets, I shrugged. “I’m twenty-two, I’m really not a kid anymore.” Peering around the corner towards the family room where Jude waited, I added, “Love made me stronger. It gave me something to fight for when I didn’t have anything else.”
My dad didn’t reply.
Forcing a bright smile, I brushed past him. “Let’s eat.”
THE SUMMER WAS GOING by insanely fast and before I knew it, it was the end of June and I was helping my best friend into her wedding dress.
Rowan Sinclair was thirty minutes away from becoming Rowan Wentworth.
I was nervous, so I had no doubt that she was.
“I’m scared,” Rowan admitted, as she stared at her reflection. It was almost as if she’d picked up on my thoughts.
“Me too, and it’s not even my wedding,” I laughed. “But this is Trent and you love him more than anything. Everything will be okay.”
“My heart’s racing so fast.” She breathed as I stepped away to make sure the dress was on properly. “I’m terrified, but at the same time I’m so ready to be his wife.” She turned to look at me and tears shimmered in her eyes. I prayed she didn’t start crying and mess up her makeup—the makeup artist would probably kill us. “I’m ready to take that next step with him.”
I soaked in her words, words I’d been repeating in my head as of late.
While Jude and I had only been together for a few months, it felt like forever and I knew I would never want another man like I wanted him. I was still scared to take that leap, but I felt ready.
Rowan sat down and I fixed the diamond pin in her hair. Her hair had been curled in an elegant up-do. Olivia and mine had been done in a loose fishtail side braid—casual, but elegant.
Ivy was currently getting the finishing touches put on her hair. Even though she declared that she was too old she was going to be the flower girl.
Olivia sat in the corner rocking a fussy Grace.
“I swear,” Olivia groaned, grabbing Grace’s small fist before she could yank on her braid, “Grace only likes her daddy. She cries almost every time I hold her.” She frowned, straightening Grace’s peach colored dress that matched the shade of ours.
“Aw,” Rowan frowned, “you know that’s not true.”
Olivia’s eyes widened and she laughed. “Oh no, it’s true. She’s a very cranky baby, but Trace can work some kind of voodoo mind magic on her. I call him the baby whisperer.” With a smile, Olivia asked Rowan, “So, when should we expect baby number two?”
Rowan’s cheeks flared and her eyes flickered to her sister, me, and then back to Olivia. “That’s what the honeymoon is for,” she finally answered, lowering her gaze.
Olivia grinned and I tried to contain my laugh. I failed.
Rowan looked up at me and let out a soft sigh. “Trenton can be very convincing when he wants something, and the more we talked the more I could see where he was coming from.”
“You don’t need to justify it to me,” I assured her. “As longs as this is what you want, I’ll support you. Especially since it won’t be my baby. I can spoil them and then when they cry I can give them back to you.”
Rowan laughed. “Sounds like a plan.”
Someone knocked on the door and then it swung open. It was Lily, Trace and Trent’s mom, and she was dressed to perfection. Her gown was a lovely rose color that complemented her complexion and her dark brown hair cascaded around her shoulders. She didn’t look her age at all.
“Are you all ready?”
The lady finished with Ivy’s hair and nodded her head.
“It’s time for everyone to get lined up.” Lily clapped her hands together. Her eyes softened when they landed on Rowan and she held back tears. “Oh, Rowan, you look stunning.”
“Thank you,” Rowan bowed her head slightly. Raising it, she bit her lip. “There’s something I’ve wanted to ask you, but I’ve been too scared.”
“Go ahead, sweetie,” Lily encouraged, coming to stand by Rowan’s side.
“Well,” Rowan looked up at Lily, “I don’t have any parents, so I was hoping, maybe…” Rowan bit her lip, her eyes darting nervously from Lily to the floor, “that you’d walk me down the aisle.”
Lily gasped and dove at Rowan for a hug. “Oh, sweetie, of course I will.”
Rowan’s eyes widened with shock as she lifted her arms to hug Lily back. Clearly she wasn’t expecting that kind of reaction.
The wedding planner showed up then, guiding us out of the room and to where we were to wait.
The wedding was being held on the back lawn of Wentworth mansion. I hadn’t seen how it had been transformed yet, but I was sure it was magical. I knew not to expect anything less from the Wentworth’s.
I caught sight of Tristan, who had Bartholomew—Trent’s ferret—on a leash, and tied around the critter’s neck were Trent and Row’s wedding bands. I couldn’t help laughing about it.
Rowan giggled as well. “Trent was adamant that Bartholomew be a part of the wedding in some way, so I let him have his fun.”
We lined up in order and since Trace was Trent’s best man he was to escort me, and Jude had Olivia.
Jude looked me up and down, licking his lips like I was a dessert he wanted to devour. When his eyes met mine, he chuckled at being caught and sent me a wink.
Trace held out his arm for me and I took it, adjusting my grip on my bouquet.
The music started up and that was our cue.
The aisle was made of white and pale pink flower petals—the ones Ivy dropped were painted silver—giving it a mythical appearance, like we were in a fairy garden or something. Trent stood beneath an arch of some kind of large white flower that I didn’t recognize. His hands were clasped together and he looked dangerously handsome in his tuxedo—although, I had to admit I thought Jude looked even better in his. Poor Trent looked scared out of his mind, and he was probably afraid Rowan would change her mind and turn into the runaway bride. She’d run from him a lot, so his fears were justified, but I knew Rowan wasn’t going anywhere.
Trace and I reached the end of the aisle and I released his arm. He went to stand by his brother—giving him a firm pat on his shoulder, before lowering his head to whisper something in his ear.
Jude smirked at me and went to stand by Trace.
The music changed and everyone rose to look at Rowan as she started up the aisle.
I heard Trent gasp and murmur, “Wow.”
Rowan’s eyes lowered and her cheeks flushed as her groom gazed upon her. She looked excited and scared all at the same time.
Lily kissed her on the cheek and gave her hand to her son.
“You’re beautiful.” Trent whispered to her as she handed me her bouquet to hold.
Their vows were exchanged quickly to the hoots and hollers of the friends and family gathered.