Trace + Olivia Series Boxed Set (84 page)

“You got married, that’s what! How could you get married without me, Olivia?” Her voice softened and I could tell that she was genuinely hurt.

“It sorta just happened,” I explained, squinting up at the blue sky and fluffy white clouds.

She snorted. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me and I had to find out from Trace’s mom this morning. She called me asking for my dress size. I, of course, said, ‘Why the fuck are you asking me for my dress size?’ She told me that y’all got married and are having a ceremony when you get back. She assumed I knew and that you’d asked me to be your maid of honor. All I can say is, after being so rudely left out the first time, I better be your fucking maid of honor.”

I pushed my hair out of my eyes, fighting laughter. “Of course I want you to be my maid of honor. And I’m sorry I didn’t call to tell you. I haven’t even told my mom,” I whispered the last part like it was still some kind of secret.

“She’s going to be pissed,” Avery stated in a matter of fact tone. “You better call her before Tracey-poo’s mom beats you to it. “

“Ugh,” I groaned, “I’ll call her when I hang up from you.” I chewed on my fingernail, already dreading that conversation.

“So,” Avery’s tone brightened, “I think, that as your maid of honor, you shouldn’t subject me to one of those hideous fluffy gowns that look like they’re the color of puke. I mean, I know it’s your wedding day … or whatever, but why should I have to look ugly?”

I laughed. “Avery, I would never make you wear an ugly dress. Besides, you’d probably slit my throat if I tried.”

“You know it,” she said. “As your maid of honor, it’s also my duty to give you a kick ass bachelorette party. We need male strippers and—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I stopped her. “No way. No party. And definitely no strippers. After all, I’m already married.”

“God, do you have to be such a fun sucker!”

“Someone has to keep your crazy ideas reigned in,” I commented.

“They’re not crazy,” she whined.

“Don’t even think about it,” I warned.

“We’ll see,” she sing-songed and hung up.

I looked down at the phone screen and shook my head. Avery was a out of her mind if she thought I was going to let her drag me to a bachelorette party—a lonely one at that, seeing as how she was my only friend—then she was going to see a side of me she hadn’t seen before.

I brought up my contacts and pressed the button to call my mom. I felt nauseous at the thought of telling her.

“Hello?” She answered.

“Hey mom,” I stood, pacing the walkway. A light breeze ruffled my hair.

“What happened the other day? It was really weird. And why are you calling me from a different number?”

“Um, well, you see,” I bent down and picked a dandelion out of the yard and twirled the stem between my finger, “I kinda dropped my phone in a glass of water.”

“Honestly, Olivia,” she laughed, “I don’t know how this stuff happens to you.”

“Me either,” I mumbled. Deciding that stalling wouldn’t help me, I said, “I have so much to tell you.”

“Really? What have you guys been up to?”

Oh crap. This was it. I had to tell her. I thought I might be sick.

“We got married,” the words tumbled from my mouth and I slapped a hand over my lips.

Silence.

Then …? Was she
laughing?

“Mom?”

“Oh my God, that’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard! Married?! I know you’d never get married without me there—”

“Well, we did.”

“You’re being serious?” She quickly sobered.

“As serious as the marriage certificate in Trace’s duffel bag,” I mumbled.

She started crying and I toed the ground uncomfortably. I didn’t know what to say to make this better.

“Mom—”

“I can’t believe you guys would do this to me! To his mom! His grandparents! It’s selfish, Olivia!”

“It’s what we wanted. We’ve already decided to have a ceremony when we get back. We haven’t exchanged rings yet. It will still be a wedding, mom,” I hastened to explain, hoping to make her feel better.

“It’s not the same,” she sniffled.

“Yes, it is, mom,” I pinched the bridge of my nose. I could feel a headache coming on.

“I’m sorry,” she cried. “I’m upset but I’m not
that
upset. I’ll be okay. I’m sorry I yelled at you,” she rambled.

“It’s okay, mom,” I sighed. “I understand.” She continued to sniffle and I added, “There’s something else I need to tell you.”

“I don’t know if I can handle anymore,” she forced a laugh.

“It’s nothing bad, I promise,” I sat back down on the porch steps.

“Okay,” she said hesitantly, not believing me.

I traced my finger on the skin of my legs, creating random shapes. “Trace found my grandparents.”

“What?” She gasped.

“Yeah. We stayed with them last night. I’m still in shock.”

“Are they being nice to you? They’re not angry are they?” She rambled nervously.

“They’re wonderful, mom. I met my uncle too, Derek’s older brother. He’s funny, and I have a cousin too. Her name is Ella. I haven’t met her yet, though.”

“Wow,” she breathed.

“I know,” I propped my elbow on my leg and let my head drop forward into my hand.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” She asked.

“I am,” I breathed. “They’re wonderful people and if it wasn’t for Trace I wouldn’t have met them.”

“I-I-better go,” she stuttered.

“Okay. I love you, mom.”

“Bye, Liv,” the line disconnected.

I was a bit hurt by her abrupt departure from our conversation but I knew she was probably getting emotional over Derek. Even though she had moved on with her life, I knew a part of her would always love Derek and wonder what could have been.

I tucked my phone back into my pocket and opened the storm door. It creaked closed behind me.

“Is everything alright?” Trace asked as he sauntered into the living room from the kitchen. “You were out there for a while.”

“Avery called,” I explained, “fussing about how I didn’t tell her we got married and she had to find out from your mom. I think she was more upset that she thought I might not want her to be my maid of honor.”

He chuckled, shoving his hands into the pockets of jeans. “I bet that was an interesting conversation.”

“It was,” I nodded. “And then I called my mom, to tell her before someone else did.”

“How did she take it?” He asked hesitantly, looking at me beneath his long lashes.

“She was mad at first, but I calmed her down. Then I told her that we were here,” I sighed. “I think she’s happy that I’ve gotten to meet them, but she doesn’t really like to talk about Derek. I know she’s moved on with Nick and she’s happy, but I think there’s a part of her that will always miss Derek and wonder what her life would have been like if he had lived.”

“That’s understandable,” Trace shrugged. “I’m going to take your grandpa out in the Camaro.”

I laughed. “Is he still bugging you?”

“He’s not bothering me, and I can understand why he loves it so much. I mean, it
is
a ‘69 Camaro.”

“You and your cars,” I smiled as my grandpa stepped into the room.

“You ready?” Trace asked him.

“I’ve been ready since yesterday,” he shuffled to the door and outside.

“I take it that’s my cue to leave,” Trace chuckled. He kissed me quickly before hurrying after my grandpa.

I found my grandma in the kitchen and helped her finish washing the dishes.

When that was done, she turned to me with a smile. “Would you like to help me make more stars? I need some more for the store.”

“I’d love to,” I replied giddily.

She squeezed my arm lightly as she passed me on her way out of the room.

There was a small loveseat with a coffee table in front of it in her attic workspace and that’s where we ended up sitting. She had to show me how to make the stars again and after a few tries mine looked almost as good as hers.

“This is relaxing,” I said after we’d been silent a few minutes.

“It is. Your grandpa doesn’t quite understand why I love it so much,” she shrugged, dropping a completed star into a jar.

She grabbed a pen, writing a message on the piece of paper before turning it into a star. I read what she wrote over her shoulder, ‘“Leap and the net will appear—Zen Saying.’”

“You can write something too,” she smiled at me. “Whatever you want. It can be a quote from someone else or something you come up with. Anything, really.”

I thought for a moment and took the pen.

Regret nothing.
I scrawled on the piece of paper. I laid the pen aside and made my star.

“Why did Der—” I stopped and corrected myself, “Why did my dad want to be a doctor?”

“Oh,” Margaret’s eyes filled with warmth, “he loved helping people. He was the kind of person that wanted to save everyone.”

“I—uh—” I bit my lip, afraid I might be stepping over a boundary. “I would like to get flowers and visit his gravesite.”

Her eyes filled with tears and she patted my hand. “That would be wonderful. I know,” she took a deep breath, “that Derek is in heaven smiling down on you. He’d be so proud to have a daughter like you.”

“You think?”

“I know so,” she looked away, finishing the star she was making. “I don’t like going there … to the grave. But I’ll give you directions and you can go there on your own or with Trace.”

“Thank you,” I whispered.

“Hang on,” she stood, going to the same bookcase where she’d gotten the jar full of origami stars. She heaved a heavy looking book off the shelf and dropped it on the coffee table. “It’s a photo album,” she explained.

“Oh,” my eyes widened. I reached out and stroked my fingers along the black leather cover.

Margaret sat back down and opened it up.

“That’s Derek as a baby,” she pointed to a picture of a cute baby with dark hair and chubby cheeks. “Wasn’t he precious?”

“Adorable,” I agreed.

“There we all are,” she pointed to another picture. In it, she was holding a baby Derek with a hand on Dex’s shoulder to keep him from running away, and Doug had his arm around her shoulder. They stood in front of this house, smiling proudly. “That was the day we moved into this house,” she smiled wistfully.

“You all look so happy,” I commented, studying the picture.

“We were. I’m not saying we didn’t have our moments and boys will be boys, but we were always so happy. We still are … but even this many years later we still feel Derek’s absence like it was yesterday.” She gazed at the photo sadly and turned the page. “Oh look, here’s Derek in his first grade spelling bee. He won,” she chuckled.

I grinned at the photo of my father as a small boy. He smiled triumphantly at the camera as a teacher put a medal around his neck.

Hours passed as we went through even more photo albums. When my grandpa and Trace arrived back home, they joined us in the attic. My grandpa chimed in with even more stories and details of my father as a young boy. It was only bits and pieces, but I felt like I was getting to know my father a little bit better. I would never have the chance to meet him in person, as much as I might hope and wish for that impossibility, but it was nice to hear more about him.

I didn’t know it would be this difficult to say goodbye to people I’d just met. But they were my
family
and that bond was impossible to ignore.

“I’m going to miss you so much,” Margaret held me close, nearly suffocating me, but I didn’t care. After all, I held her as tightly as she held me.

“I’m going to miss you too,” I replied honestly. “But you guys are going to fly out for the ceremony, right?”

She smiled down at me, patting my cheek. “We wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

I hugged her again, feeling like a small child. I didn’t want to let go, because a part of me was convinced that if I did I’d never see her again.

Finally, I had to release her and hug my grandpa and Dex.

“We’ll see you soon, kid,” Dex ruffled my hair.

I smoothed my fingers over the top of my head to fix my hair. “Bye,” I frowned, backing away. My eyes flickered over their faces, trying to memorize every detail.

“Bye,” they waved.

Fighting tears, I forced myself to turn around and get in the car.

“Are you okay?” Trace asked. “We can stay longer if you want.”

“Two days was enough,” I forced a smile. “I know we still have to get to Maine. Maybe we can stop by on our way back?” I asked hesitantly.

“We can do that,” he assured me, taking my hand.

A few minutes later he stopped in front of a flower shop.

“Would you like to pick them out?” He asked.

At first, I wanted to say no. But if I was visiting my dad’s grave, then I should be the one to pick out flowers, not Trace.

I nodded slowly and slipped from the car. He followed me inside, not saying anything, but his presence alone kept me calm.

I picked out an arrangement of all white roses and lilies. It was simple and beautiful. I didn’t know what Derek would have liked, but I hoped wherever he was that he was happy with what I had chosen.

We paid for the flowers, and using the directions Margaret had given him we drove to the cemetery.