Trace & Tori [The ShadowDance Club 4] (Siren Publishing Classic) (7 page)

Tori had gasped in surprise and tried to pull her hands from his, and even though he knew she was shocked by his words, he was sure she was even more shocked by her reaction to them. He’d no more than spoken the words than he had smelled her sweet scent as her pussy had flooded with liquid heat. She had never had a man care enough to demand she take care of herself and he intended to see that wrong set to right. Trace watched the sweet sub in front of him as her pupils dilated, and he could smell her arousal as he’d spoken of spanking her for putting herself in a dangerous situation. When she had tried to pull back, and he’d tightened his hold as a test of how she reacted to that little bit of restraint and he’d been pleased to see that her eyes had immediately cast down, and her pulse and respiration rates had shifted upward immediately.
Oh yeah…princess, you are oh so sweetly submissive.

“Stop overthinking this, Tori, and let me tell you what I see. I see a gorgeous woman who has had to work hard to put herself through college and establish herself in a career that is highly stressful. I see a very attractive and intelligent woman who understands that the world still judges women based on their looks, and despite the fact she is brilliant, many people don’t even look beyond the surface at the needs of the passionate woman underneath. I see a woman who is a submissive but who doesn’t understand the true meaning of the word in the BDSM world. I see a woman who is frightened of being judged and who now faces a danger that is beyond her ability to control so she has run, and I thank God that she ran to Climax where she’ll be safe and protected. I see a woman who now has the opportunity to explore her sexuality, both here and at ShadowDance where the guidelines all revolve around the tenant ‘Safe, Sane, and Consensual.’ I see a woman who sparks a fire in me that I was afraid would never be rekindled.”

Tori felt shaken to her core by his words. How had this man seen so much in such a short time? When she looked up, she felt tears fill her eyes, and she felt like he had stripped away so many layers that she kept wrapped tightly around herself to protect her fragile self-esteem that she was unsure how to respond. When she looked down again, Trace used a finger to lift her chin again and ran his thumb over her lower lip. “Princess, tell me what you think being a submissive means.” Tori was torn between telling him she already knew she was likely a sub but didn’t want to be or lying and just rattling off nonsense. “And let me be clear about something, Tori, I expect you to answer me honestly. Lying, and that includes lying by omission, is not something I will tolerate.” As he spoke the words, it struck him that he was a hypocrite of the highest order. Hell, he still hadn’t told her about all his offers to buy her uncle’s land -
Shit!
He promised himself he would remedy that as soon as possible, but right now he needed to concentrate on making sure Tori understood exactly what she would gain by indulging her curiosity.

Trace watched as she worried her lower lip, and he practically could see the thoughts racing through her mind. He hoped she’d opt for the truth because he didn’t want to have to back up his promise of punishment. That wasn’t the way he wanted to start with her, but he would if he had to. After all, to not would be a violation of trust. If a Dom told a sub of a consequence, he had to follow through, no matter how much he or she didn’t want to.
Oh, sweetheart, don’t lie to me, please. I would so much rather your first spanking was erotic and not a punishment. I can’t wait to watch your beautiful ass turn a nice warm pink under my hand.
Staying in control was essential early in their bonding as Dom and sub, and it was taking everything he had to wait her out. He was startled by how important it had become to make her his, but even that realization wasn’t enough to make him stray from a lifelong belief that you should always begin as you intended to go.

* * * *

Tori could feel her heart beating so hard she was worried it would rattle right out of her chest. She was aroused and scared at the same time. Gary George had frightened her more times than she wanted to remember, but this wasn’t that kind of fear. This was a fear of finding something within her that she had never expected, and for some reason she was terrified of letting Trace down, and that didn’t seem logical considering they’d only just met. “Um…well, I…damn this is so much harder than I thought it would be.”

“No, it is actually easy if you will just answer without trying to edit. I assure you, you won’t shock me, you won’t tell me anything that will change the way I see you.” Trace still held her hands in his as he spoke to her but his hold was no longer restraining, rather it was meant to focus her attention on him rather than on her own insecurities.

Tori finally took a deep cleansing breath and spoke with a strong voice. “I have read some about Ds relationships and scenes, and I, well, I suspected I was a sub, well, maybe a little more than suspected. But anyway, I was so curious about it…and…well, it seemed like it turned me on when I read stories about it. But, well, I’m really scared to think about some things, and I don’t want to give up my independence, and I’m scared of being hurt. And well, I guess I just need don’t want to be weak. If I give up all the control, then someone else is the strong one and I’m used to having to be strong and well…um…well, sometimes I like to be on top.” She’d said the last part of the sentence so quietly he had almost missed it.

Keeping her hands enfolded in his, Trace looked in to her eyes and thought for a minute he might fall into their depths. “Princess, when you meet the subs at ShadowDance, you are going to meet some of the strongest women I’ve ever met. We’ll go to dinner there this weekend before attending a Club night, and it will give you a chance to get to know some of the women I’m talking about. But I want to make it crystal clear that giving up control, letting go of all the expectations and just trusting that your Dom will give you everything you need sexually, requires a lot more strength than you know, and best of all it allows the sub to just let go and enjoy. You won’t have to worry about anything except following directions. Your only responsibility is immediate compliance.” His raised eyebrow stopped her when she would have argued. “No, it’s true. I’ll bet your vanilla sexual experiences have been filled with you having complete conversations with yourself in your head wondering if you should do this or should do that. I’ll also bet you have been lost in your worries about whether or not you were doing something right or wrong, and feeling like your body was never going to find that sweet release it craved, and ultimately it didn’t.”

Tori appeared mesmerized by the accuracy of his description and so he continued, “I’d also guess that your partners blamed you for your lack of release, claiming you were frigid or unable to orgasm. Or worse, they pushed you until you felt obligated to fake a response. Did I get it about right?” Trace knew he had nailed it, because he’d seen it too many times and heard about it from other Doms even more. Added to the fact that her jaw had been hanging open the whole time he’d been speaking, well, it didn’t exactly take a genius to figure this one out. He knew his assessment of things was accurate, but he’d have never predicted her reaction. He was shocked when she leaned her head back and laughed so hard she had tears running down her cheeks by the time she managed to get herself back under control.

Trace didn’t remember the last time a sub’s reaction had so completely blindsided him. He just sat and stared at her the entire time as she laughed hysterically. When she had finally settled he’d regained his composure enough to say, “Well, I have to tell you that reaction didn’t do much for my ego, princess. Want to tell me why you found my take on your situation so damned funny?”

Tori knew immediately she had offended him, and she sobered and apologized. “I’m really sorry, and I swear I wasn’t laughing at you, well, not directly.” At his raised-eyebrow look she quickly continued. “I was laughing because you were so terribly spot-on that I wondered if someone had sent out a memo or something. It’s kind of humiliating when the most handsome and interesting man you have ever met knows how sexually inept you are. I mean, think about it, I’ve told you about the books I’ve read and my trip to that nasty-assed club in Houston, and you know every sorry secret of my lame sex life…and, well, it’s just so pathetic. Christ, is there a sign above my head that says ‘Sex Loser’? God, I haven’t even had sex for four years because it was so degrading.” Suddenly her laughter turned to sobs, and Trace pulled her into his arms and let her vent all her frustration.

Most of her railing as she’d cried hadn’t even made sense, but the bits and pieces he’d caught were self-depreciating enough that he finally called a halt to it. “All right, that’s enough. I won’t allow you to degrade yourself. I would much rather we use that energy to get you to that release that your body has been craving for so long.” When she finally offered a small smile, he asked her simply, “Do you trust me?”

Watching her eyes go from curiosity to worry to desire in less than a couple of heartbeats was fascinating. He just waited and watched her as she tried to organize her thoughts. She was obviously torn between her desire and her fear. He could see the tug-of-war taking place, but she had to make this decision on her own without his influence. He could take her places sexually she’d never even imagined if she would just give them both the opportunity. But until she was willing to admit her to her body’s needs, there wasn’t anything he could do but wait her out.

* * * *

Tori wanted to agree, but she was so scared. Oh, she wasn’t frightened of Trace, no quite the opposite actually. She was scared she wouldn’t be enough for him, what if those two guys in college were right, what if she was frigid? Oh damn, she felt just like she had when she’d tried skydiving. This was just like standing in the door of the plane, trying to gather her courage to take that step out, trusting that her parachute was going to carry her safely where she needed to go. Did she believe Trace would pack her parachute correctly? “Yes, I trust you.”
I don’t really understand why, but I know you would never intentionally hurt me.

She watched as Trace released a breath she doubted he had even realized he was holding and said, “Princess, I want you to know I am very pleased that you trust me and I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you know your trust is always valued and honored. Before we go any further, I want to tell you something that you need to be aware of.” She knew her expression had suddenly become guarded and he shook his head slightly. “No, it’s nothing bad, but I can’t in good conscience tell you to be completely honest if I’m not willing to do the same.” Again, there was a part of her that wanted to pull back from him, but he held her close. “This is about your uncle’s land, Tori. I just want you to know that I tried several times to get him to sell it to me. I knew his health was failing, and I had always kept a lookout for him and knew he needed the money. It frustrated me that he lived in that old house when I knew he would have been able to live out his last years in comfort if he’d been willing to sell. He wasn’t interested, and he continually insisted it was going to bring his family home to a place they needed to be.” She felt her mouth drop open and he just smiled at her. “I’m starting to think he was a pretty fair prophet, because that land brought you to Climax, and I’m mighty grateful it did.”

Trace could tell that Tori was thinking over what he had just told her. But he was surprised at her next words. “Is that it? Just that you tried to buy the land…that’s all?” She looked as if she couldn’t believe that he had found that so important he had to mention it or that she might think he was dishonest.

Taking a deep breath, he answered, “The day we met, I was in town to meet with Victor Paulson to try to get him-you to sell. You see, the land isn’t really worth much to anyone but me because of access and water. After we met and I found out who you were, I should have told you right away. I feel bad that I didn’t do that. It’s not like me to be secretive. You had a right to know, but honestly, I was just so blown away by my attraction to you that I didn’t want to risk you running in the other direction. And, sweetheart, you needed a friend just as much as I have needed one these past two years.”

When Tori told him she had never met anyone with a higher level of integrity, it had touched him deeply. She added, “Thank you for telling me, but it really isn’t a problem. It is only reasonable that you would try to buy the land that borders your ranch. I was relieved to know you were the one using the land. I’m really over my head here and knowing I’m dealing with someone I trust is a huge comfort.”

“I have rented the grass for years, so as you know, those were my cattle in the pasture. Your uncle was a stubborn man, and he wouldn’t let me raise the rent when it should have gone up a long time ago. He insisted he liked helping out a ‘young rancher just getting started.’ Well, that rent needs to go up significantly, and we’ll be discussing that if you decided you want to keep the land. I won’t pressure you to do anything. Whether you sell or keep it is completely up to you. But if you keep it, I am going to insist you accept more rent.” Tori knew in that moment she had found a community to call home. She would likely sell the land to Trace because she’d like to buy a small house in town and set up a practice nearby.

“Do you think there would be enough business here for another attorney? I mean, I don’t want to take anyone’s business or step on any toes or anything, but…”

Now it was Trace’s turn to laugh out loud. Interrupting her at her surprised look he said, “Oh, princess, when old man Sherman hears that you are interested in setting up here, he is going to be thrilled. He has only stayed on because he didn’t want to leave the town without a lawyer. I’ll get word to him right away. It’ll make his holiday so much sweeter. He will probably walk out of his office and never look back as he hands you the key at the door.” His sincerity warmed Tori to her toes, she couldn’t believe that her old uncle had foreseen her need for this place and these people, but now she was even more grateful for his generous gift. Trace brought her back to the moment when he continued. “But for now, I believe we have some unfinished business between us, I think we need to return to that now.” He had to hold back his smile as he watched her react to his changed tone. He’d used his Dom voice and was pleased to see her respond so quickly. “Oh you please me so much, Victoria. I can’t tell you how much I enjoy watching your nipples peak and show themselves through that thin tank top. I really like watching how your skin reacts when I do this.” Trace lightly drew his finger across her narrow expanse of skin between the bottom of her skimpy shirt and the top of her low-slung yoga pants. “And watching the changes in your breathing and pulse make me so hard, it is almost painful.” He smiled just enough to take the edge off her anxiety. “Now, stand in front of me, princess, and strip.”