Tracie Peterson - [Desert Roses 01] (11 page)

“Sure, boss.”

“I don’t need my reputation ruined.”

“Some of the guys wouldn’t see it that way,” Clancy said, smiling. “They’d see you as quite the man.”

“Yes, but I worry more about the truth of the matter and what God thinks.” Luke sat down on the bed and rubbed his chin. “I know God knows what happened here tonight, but a Christian needs to work to be above reproach.”

“What’s that mean—reproach?”

“Disgrace—shame—blame. It means you live your life in such a fashion that no one can hold you accountable for things you didn’t do. You keep out of situations that even look like they might be a problem.”

“Like before prohibition,” Clancy said, “when the guys wanted you to go to the bar in Williams. They’d tease you and say you didn’t have to drink whiskey or beer.”

“Exactly. I could go sit in the bar and drink nothing but water—be completely innocent—but someone might see me and believe the worst. I wouldn’t be guilty of drinking, but I sure would be guilty of giving someone reason to believe falsely of me.”

“But you can’t be held to account for what people think,” Clancy said. “Surely God doesn’t expect that. I mean, you can’t very well control other people’s lives—especially their thoughts.”

Clancy eyed him seriously, as if his words were just too incredible to believe. Luke realized that Clancy had never taken much interest in talk of the Christian walk, prior to this. Luke was aware that what he said now might very well send Clancy away from God or draw him closer. He whispered a prayer for the right words.

“You can’t control other people’s lives or thoughts—but
you can control your own,” Luke replied. “Self-control is an important part of living a Christian life. But you don’t have to do it on your own. God gives you a lot of help along the way. When you’re tempted to do the wrong thing, go the wrong direction, He’s there for you. Just like tonight.”

“How so, boss?”

“I wasn’t tempted to do anything wrong with Miss Winthrop, but if I had been, this would have been a bad situation for me. It would have been hard to resist a barely clothed woman who obviously was looking for a good time. But my heart was fixed on doing the right thing. It was fixed that way because I turned my desires over to God a long time ago. Since then, I’ve been praying and reading the Bible, and I know a little better everyday what I should and shouldn’t let myself get into.”

Clancy pulled off his boots and nodded. “So because you were thinking about God, you weren’t thinking about what Miss Winthrop had to offer?”

“That’s partially it. It’s because of my relationship with God that I also respect the people in my life. I try to treat each person as I would want to be treated—with respect and kindness. It doesn’t always come out that way. I have a mean streak, as you well know.”

Clancy laughed. “I’ve seen it a time or two.”

“Well, I try to control that as well. See, a man who can control his tongue can control just about anything else. And what a man says comes up out of his heart. The Bible says so.”

“I ain’t never heard this religion stuff put quite this way. It makes a heap more sense than what I’ve known in the past.”

“That’s because I don’t care much for religion myself. I care about God and what He wants for my life. Religions can just cause a man grief. They scatter him in all sorts of directions looking for answers to one thing and then another.” Luke walked over to his saddlebag and pulled out his Bible. “This is what counts, Clancy. The Bible has all the answers we’ll ever need. It’s all laid out in here.”

Clancy scratched his chest and looked rather embarrassed. “I don’t . . . well . . . I don’t have one of those. Never saw the need, so I ain’t never bought me one.”

“Then have this one,” Luke said, bringing the Bible to his friend. “But let me share just one passage with you first.”

“Sure,” Clancy said, looking at the book as though Luke were offering him gold.

Luke turned to the third chapter of John. “See here, this is Jesus talking to a man named Nicodemus—he was a ruler of the Jewish people. He tells Nicodemus, ‘For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.’ ”

“Everlasting life? You mean, you never die?”

“Your body dies eventually—everybody’s does. But when you accept Jesus as your Savior—when you believe on Him and repent of your sins—you’re given eternal life for your spirit. When your body dies, your spirit will live on with Jesus in heaven.”

“Seems simple enough,” Clancy said, looking at the words for himself. “Is there more I have to do?”

“There are things we do out of obedience and respect to God—baptism and service, tithing and fellowship—but first and foremost, we accept that Jesus is the Son of God and we accept that He died for us sinners so that we wouldn’t have to face death alone. We repent of our sins and work to never repeat our old ways. It’s a new life, Clancy.”

“Them are powerful words, Luke,” Clancy said, looking up with an expression that suggested awe. “So what do I have to do to repent? I mean, how do I know if I did something that God considers a sin?”

“God knows your heart, Clancy. If you tell Him you’re sorry for the past wrongs you’ve committed—if you ask Him to forgive you and to come into your heart, He will. He’ll help you to understand what’s right and wrong in His sight. You’ll learn it by reading the Bible and you’ll see, too, the deep love He has for you.”

“I just talk to Him—like I’m talking to you?” “Just so. Most folks like to bow their heads and close their eyes, but you can pray with your eyes wide open sitting atop a mule. You can pray in your sickbed and pray over dinner. It doesn’t matter where you pray, it’s just important that you do pray.”

Clancy took the Bible in his hands and nodded. “I’d like to pray. I’ve been real impressed with the way you handle yourself, Luke. And like tonight, I knew in my heart you’d done no wrong with that woman. I knew it ’cause of the way you live your life the rest of the time.”

“I only live my life that way because God gives me the strength to do so. I’m nothing special on my own, Clancy, but with God, nothing’s impossible. He gives me the strength I need for everything.”

“Then I want that too. I know you wouldn’t steer me wrong.”

“It’s not me doing the steering, Clancy. It’s God.”

Clancy nodded. “That’s good enough for me.”

Luke smiled and slapped Clancy on the back in a hearty manner. “Then let’s get down to business.”

CHAPTER TEN

“So they’re planning all these parties,” Michaela told a group of gathered wranglers and Harvey Girls. “I’ve even heard it said that reporters are coming in from as far as Washington, D.C., to watch these rich ninnies fall all over themselves to see who’ll be most favored to get the Democratic nomination for president.”

“This is just the start. I heard they are all headed on to Los Angeles after this, and then New York,” someone else threw in.

“It’s all a lot of fuss for nothing, if you ask me,” Luke said, eyeing Alex as she joined the little group.

“Didn’t look like you minded the fuss too much last night,” one of Luke’s crew said snidely. “I saw that Miss Winthrop over at your cabin. Didn’t look like she was fussin’ much about being fully clothed. Was she campaigning?” Laughter rose up from some of Luke’s crew.

“Bet she got the boss’s vote for sure.”

Luke had never suspected that anyone else might have seen Valerie’s visit. He knew he had a confidant in Clancy, but he’d never thought to ward off this topic with the others. Looking up, he caught Alex looking at him with an expression of disbelief and betrayal. Her cheeks reddened as she realized he’d caught her watching him. She walked away from the group and headed up to the hotel without another word.

“That’s not a good way to keep friends, Luke,” Michaela offered without condemnation. “Come on, Bernice, we’d better get to work.”

Clancy came to Luke’s rescue, but not in time to help him with Alex. “Miss Winthrop got herself spooked. I took her back to her cabin. That’s all that was about.”

Everyone looked to Luke as if for confirmation, but all he could think of was Alex. Now she no doubt figured he’d
been having some kind of clandestine arrangement with Miss Winthrop.

“Never you mind, Luke,” a redheaded crew member spoke up. “There’s something about the canyon that just makes women throw themselves at men.”

As if to prove his point, Bernice tripped over her feet and fell into Clancy’s lap. Everyone laughed in amusement at the situation. Everyone but Luke.

“If that don’t beat all,” Clancy murmured, helping to right Bernice. Her face turned a deep crimson, but she smiled and thanked Clancy before taking her seat in silence.

“Getting back to the parties,” another Harvey Girl picked up, “I heard it said there will be a big to-do every night. The Winthrops are spending a wagonload of money on the affair. They’ve hired the Harvey Company to put on their best show. That means we’ll be working overtime, but we’ll be well compensated.”

“Well, I heard . . .”

Luke only listened halfheartedly as the comments droned on about the coming events. He knew if he’d gotten up to go after Alex, everyone would have had something to say about it. As it was, it seemed wise to stay in his seat and try to catch a moment to talk to her when they could be alone.

I’m innocent here, Lord
, he prayed.
I don’t know why things like this have to happen to interfere in a guy’s life. Alex has a hard enough time with men, and now this. It just doesn’t seem fair
. He glanced across the table to where the others still carried on about the upcoming events.
Help me, Lord. Help me to find a time and place to talk to Alex. Just a quiet moment to explain
.

That moment, however, didn’t come until hours later. Luke had just returned from taking a group of visitors on a rim-side trail when he spotted Alex polishing silver. She sat quietly in the most isolated corner of the room, completely lost in her thoughts

“Looks like you’re gonna wear a hole in the coffeepot,” he said as he came up from behind her.

Alex looked up and nodded. “It’s a good task for taking out aggressions.”

“And would those aggressions have anything to do with what you overheard this morning?” Alex’s cheeks reddened, but she said nothing. Luke pulled off his hat and sat down at the table.

“Look, Alex, nothing happened. Miss Winthrop showed up at my cabin screaming her head off about something or someone being outside following her. She was just spooked and . . .”

“Honestly, Luke, you don’t owe me an explanation. I may be naïve about some things, but I know how it is when men and women find each other attractive.”

No, you don’t, or you’d see how I feel about you
, Luke thought to himself. He shook off the thought and instead said, “I may not owe you an explanation, but I’d like to give you one. I don’t want you thinking badly of me.”

Alex finally met his gaze, and Luke warmed at the sight of her turquoise blue eyes. She pierced his heart, however, with her next statement. “I don’t think anything about it at all,” she said. “I’ve seen how it can be for men, especially when a woman throws herself at them. I don’t approve, and I never will, but it isn’t my business or my concern how you choose to entertain yourself.”

“But that’s just it!” Now he was getting mad. “I wasn’t entertaining myself with anything or anyone. She just burst into my cabin claiming something was after her. I checked it out and then . . .” he paused, not entirely sure how much he wanted to say.

Alex looked at him suspiciously, watching and waiting for how he would conclude the statement.

“She wanted me to let her stay, but I said no. I’m not interested in her. She threw herself at me, but I refused to be persuaded. Clancy came in about that time and I asked him
to take her home. The good news in all of this is that when Clancy came back, we talked and Clancy accepted Christ as his savior.”

Alex smiled ever so slightly. “That is good news.”

“Especially since you’re the one who helped put me back on the straight and narrow. If you hadn’t given me a reason to believe again, I wouldn’t have been able to share the Bible with Clancy.”

“I didn’t give you a reason to believe—God did that.”

“Well, you let Him use you as the messenger. When I think of how much I’d hardened my heart against Him after my ma died, well, I know it wasn’t easy to get through to me. I blamed God for taking her away, never thinking about the consequences of distancing myself from Him. You changed that for me. You let me see the truth.”

“I just try to live out my faith,” Alex said, looking embarrassed. She turned her attention back on the pot.

“Alex, I don’t want you thinking poorly of me.” “I don’t. If you want a . . . friendship with Miss Winthrop, you have my blessing. I promise to be civil about it. It won’t affect our friendship.”

“Haven’t you heard a word I’ve said?” Luke asked, getting to his feet. He took up his hat and shook his head in anger. “I don’t want a friendship with Miss Winthrop. I don’t care about her. I care about . . .”

Alex looked up, waiting for him to finish his confession.

“Oh, just forget it.”

He stormed out of the room to keep from saying something out of anger that he’d only regret later. He wanted to tell Alex how he felt, but if he told her in the middle of this mess, she might think he was only saying the words to get her mind off of Valerie Winthrop. Why was it his timing was always off?

Crossing the lawn, Luke stalked down the rim path, not at all certain where he was headed.

“Oh, Mr. Toland! Luke!” Valerie Winthrop called to him
from where she strolled at her father’s side. “Do come meet my father.”

Luke felt like bolting and running in the opposite direction. Instead, he knew he needed to be amiable with the guests.

“Miss Winthrop,” Luke said, tipping his hat.

“Daddy, this is Luke Toland. He was the man who led the mule trip yesterday. He’s worked here for about ten years. Isn’t that right, Luke?”

Luke nodded and shook the senator’s hand.