Tracie Peterson (27 page)

The teen hurried to dry her eyes, but it was a futile attempt to hide her emotions. She lay back against her pillows and eyed Tess warily.

“What are you guys doing here?” Sherry asked. “The baby is dead.”

Tess came to her side, surprised at the teen’s cool reception. “We’re here because of you.”

“Well, you don’t need to be. Just go back to your life. I don’t have anything to give you now.” Sherry faltered and looked down at her hands. “Just go.”

“Sherry, we want to be here with you.”

Sherry looked up in surprise. “Why? You don’t owe me anything.”

“We know that, Sherry,” Brad interjected, “but we care about you.”

“We don’t want you to go through this alone. We’re in this together.” Tess’s voice was strong and sure. She could feel God giving her strength.

“I can take care of myself. You’ve done your duty. Now go,” Sherry demanded.

Tess sat down beside the girl and put her bag on the floor. “Sherry, please. I want to help you. I made you a promise to be a friend.”

“That was just for the baby’s sake and now the baby is dead.” Her voice cracked. “My baby is dead.”

Sherry burst into tears anew and buried her face in her hands. “He’s dead. He’s dead.”

Seeing Sherry so broken, Tess, too, began to cry. She reached out, uncertain if she would hurt Sherry by taking hold of her. It was a risk she had to take. Pulling the girl slowly and carefully into her arms, Tess embraced her.

Tess’s tears wet Sherry’s hair. The pain of their loss was shared by both of them, binding them together. When Brad encircled them with his powerful arms, Tess knew they were a family. Sherry just had to see that.

Sherry seemed to realize all at once what had happened and pulled away. She grimaced as she fell back against the bed and Tess knew she must have hurt from the C-section incision.

“You’re only here because you feel sorry for me. Don’t,” Sherry said. “I hate it when people feel sorry for me.”

Tess looked to Brad, trying hard to battle her own emotions. Brad took over and reached out to take hold of Sherry’s hand.

“Sherry, I can’t say that we don’t feel sorry for you, because we do. But that’s not why I’m here. I’m here because I know it’s where God wants me to be.”

She looked doubtful. “How would you know what God wants?”

“I’ve been praying about this since we first learned about the baby. I’ve tried to understand the baby’s death. Maybe I won’t ever understand it, but that’s not why I came here
right now.” His voice was gentle and Tess could see Sherry softening under his spell.

“Then why? Are you going to tell me how God loves me and cares about me?” Sherry questioned. “Are you going to tell me how much better off the baby is in heaven than here with us?”

Tess shook her head. She felt an overwhelming surge of guilt. She’d really never tried to make Jesus real to Sherry. Even after Laura had told Tess to let Jesus love Sherry through her, she felt she’d done her part to see that Sherry was exposed to spiritual matters by taking her to church on Sundays and praying with her.

“We’d all be better off in heaven,” Tess replied. “But selfishly, I would rather he be here. Sherry, I’m so sorry Davet’s gone to heaven. I’m sorry that you had to go through so much this past year. I know you feel alone and hopeless, but I don’t want you to feel that way.
We
don’t want you to feel that way. We want you to know that there is someone who cares. Someone who loves you.”

“I know all of that,” Sherry said, looking away from Tess. “God loves me. Mr. D is always telling me that.”

“God isn’t the only one, Sherry,” Tess declared. “We love you too. We’re here because we want to adopt you.”

The words rang in Sherry’s ears. She had lived her entire life hoping to hear those words, but now they weren’t welcome or believable. They seemed instead to be cruel. Sherry’s head snapped back and her eyes narrowed. “Don’t joke about that. You don’t mean it. You’re just feeling bad because of the baby. You’ll think differently in a few days.”

“No, we won’t,” Tess replied.

“We love you, Sherry,” Brad stressed. “There’s no reason to think differently.”

“You probably didn’t even think of it until you came here and saw me like this. Well, I don’t need your pity. Just go back to your perfect life. There’ll be another kid getting
pregnant—another girl who stupidly believes somebody loves her.”

Tears streamed down her cheeks. She hated herself for being so weak. Why was this happening? She’d lost everything—nothing remained. Not Davet. Not the Bible Mr. D had given her. Not the home she had come to love.

Sherry turned away from the Holbrooks, this time rolling gingerly over onto her side. “Please just go,” she sobbed. There was no way she wanted to allow anyone to see her so weak, so vulnerable.
I wish I’d died with the baby. It would all be so easy if God would have just taken me away as well
.

Tess got up from the bed, and for a moment Sherry was certain they were leaving.
Good. Let them go. I don’t want to think about her or Brad. I don’t want to remember their home and their kindness, and I don’t want to think about how much I’ll miss them
.

Her tears flowed even harder. The hopelessness of her situation settled upon Sherry’s shoulders like a heavy mantle of truth. She had no future.

But just as the imaginary mantle weighed her down, the covering that Sherry felt placed upon her shoulders by Tess seemed feathery light.

Startled, Sherry realized Tess and Brad hadn’t gone. Instead, Tess was covering Sherry’s shoulders.

“We want to adopt you, Sherry. We want you to be our daughter.” Tess’s words burrowed into the wall around Sherry’s heart. “I’m not here out of guilt or sorrow. I’m here because I finally see the truth of why you came into my life.”

Sherry reached up and touched the blanket. The delicate softness brought back a memory. Opening her eyes, Sherry realized it was the white crocheted blanket Tess had purchased for the baby. She looked at Tess, her face contorting in anguish.

“This belongs to him,” Sherry said. “To Davet.”

“I bought this blanket for my long-awaited child,” Tess
said, reaching out to touch Sherry’s wet cheeks. “You, Sherry, are that child.”

“No,” Sherry said, shaking her head. “I didn’t want the baby. I wished the baby dead and now he is. It’s all my fault. You can’t want me—I’m evil. God hates me.”

She tried to pull the blanket off, but Tess pushed her hands away and wrapped it even more snugly. Enfolding Sherry in her arms, she said, “Nothing that happened was your fault. Davet didn’t die because you wished him gone. Life and death don’t work that way. Besides, you didn’t mean those words—they were spoken in pain.”

Brad came along the opposite side of the bed. “God loves you, Sherry. Tess and I love you too. You have only to accept our love—God’s love.”

Sherry’s heart longed for the words to be true. “I don’t . . . know how,” she finally said, her voice coming out in whimpers.

Tess reached up to put her hand against Sherry’s tear-stained cheek. “You start by acknowledging your need. You let God know that you see yourself for the person you are—lost and alone without Him.”

“Mr. D said we had to turn from our bad ways and ask forgiveness, but what if God can’t forgive me?”

Brad shook his head. “There is nothing too big for God to handle, Sherry. He’s God. What could be too hard for Him? A teenage girl? A thirty-something woman? Are those the monumental kinds of things that would stop God?”

Sherry had to admit it sounded silly. “I want to believe it. I’ve wanted to believe it for a long time.”

Brad gently pushed back her blond hair. “Then do. God won’t force you. He wants you to come willingly.” Tess nodded reassuringly.

“I’m willing,” Sherry replied, her heart suddenly free. To believe that God really loved her and wanted her as His own was too wondrous to believe.

“And what about the other?” Tess questioned.

“What do you mean?”

“What about Brad and me adopting you? What about believing that our love for you is just as real?”

She was serious. Sherry could see that as clearly as she could the truth about God. Tess and Brad really loved her—really wanted her.

Sherry slumped against Tess. She felt so weak and tired. Almost as if she’d run a long-distance race and could finally rest. She knew in her heart Tess wasn’t joking—she really loved her. She had placed her expensive, hand-crocheted baby blanket around Sherry’s shoulders. The blanket that only months ago she had snatched out of Sherry’s hands. The meaning was not lost on the teen.

Lovingly, Tess cradled Sherry against her. “Will you please agree to be our daughter? I won’t promise to be the best mother in the world—I can’t even say that I’ll always do the right thing. But what I can promise is to care for you, see to all your needs and some of your wants, and be a mother who loves you with all of her heart.” Tess choked on a sob. “Please say you’ll be our daughter.”

Sherry cried softly and wrapped her arms tightly around Tess. She couldn’t speak the words, but it was all right. She knew Tess could hear the cry of her heart. And her heart said yes.

****

They waited to have the funeral until Sherry could be out of the hospital and was strong enough to stand at the grave.

The little white coffin didn’t seem as frightening and imposing as Sherry thought it might. She felt the edges of the wood while Mr. D talked about Jesus welcoming the little children to him. He led the congregation in a prayer, but she didn’t bow her head or close her eyes.

Sherry felt the heated tears fall against her face. The winds picked up and blew her hair back, and she thought of something the pastor had once said about the breath of God
blowing life into Adam and Eve. Looking up to the skies, she thought of God blowing life back into her baby.

Leaning down, she kissed the coffin and hugged it for a moment. She was saying good-bye in the only way she knew how. “Go home now, Davet. Go home to Jesus,” she whispered softly.

She straightened and looked back up to the skies. Tess took hold of her hand and looked into her eyes. “We’ll see him again,” Tess murmured. “He’s waiting for us and he’ll know us when we come there.”

“Will he know that I really loved him?” Sherry asked.

Tess smiled broadly. “He knows. He knew when he was still inside you. He had a mother’s love and no one can take that away from him or from you.”

Sherry hugged Tess close. “He had two mothers. He’ll always have two mothers.” She pulled back to make certain Tess knew how much she meant the words.

“Thank you, Sherry. Thank you for giving him to us and thank you for giving yourself as well.”

The services were over and everyone was invited back to Laura and Darren’s for lunch. Barbara Woodsby had flown down to join her brother for the funeral, but now she came to speak to Sherry.

“Sherry, I just want you to know how sorry I am that things didn’t work out the way you planned.”

Sherry looked to the woman. She had been one of the only adults in her life, besides the Holbrooks, to ever really care.

“My plans weren’t the best,” Sherry said softly.

Barbara nodded knowingly. “We all have those times, but God’s plans are always perfect. Ultimately, I know He has great things in store for you.”

Sherry smiled. “He gave me parents—people who really love me. I don’t care what else He has planned. I already have the best.”

CHAPTER 26

“This is so exciting!” Seventeen-year-old Sherry fairly danced while Brad worked with the lock on the door. “This house is so cool. I still can’t believe we’re really going to move here.”

Tess laughed as Brad finally managed to unlock the door. “I’d stand back if I were you, Brad. Otherwise, Sherry will mow you over.”

He gallantly stood to one side. “Your palace, milady.” He gave a sweeping bow as Sherry scurried inside.

She gave a squeal of girlish delight. “Oh, it’s just so big. I wasn’t sure it was as big as I remembered, but it’s huge.”

Tess and Brad followed her into the entryway, completely amused at Sherry’s animated laughter.

“I’m going to go see my room,” she hurried off down the hall.

“I think she likes it,” Brad said with a grin. He put his arm around Tess’s shoulders. “But what about you, Mrs. Holbrook? You’ve hardly said a word.”

“I found this place to begin with,” Tess replied. “You already know I love it.”

“I just want you to be sure. I mean, we’ll probably be here for a long time.”

Tess smiled and touched her husband’s face. “It’s perfect. It’s everything I’d hoped for, right down to the flower garden around the backyard patio.”

“It’s going to be a whole lot more work,” he said, looking around the great-hall-styled living and dining room.

“I don’t care. It’s exactly what I want out of life. A lovely home, a family, and a loving husband. It’s exactly what I prayed for,” Tess said, bestowing a kiss on her husband’s cheek. “Now, come on, let’s go see where Sherry is.”

Tess preceded Brad down the hall and found Sherry checking out every nook and cranny of her new bedroom.

“Look here,” Sherry declared, “I’ll have enough bookshelves for about a million books. And since I plan to live at home and go to college, it will be ideal.”

The built-in shelving was one of the reasons Tess had thought the room perfect for Sherry. Sherry loved to read and Tess already had plans for buying her a wonderful study library.

“I’ll put the bed here and my desk over there,” Sherry said, waving her arms. “Oh, can we still put up wallpaper?” she asked Tess.

“I don’t see why not. We can go tomorrow and pick out what you like,” Tess replied. “Well, within reason. I don’t want anything too wild and crazy.”

“I don’t want anything wild and crazy,” Sherry admitted. “I want it to look like those Victorian rooms in your magazines.”

“Look, we’ll have plenty of time for this later,” Brad said, looking at his watch. “If we don’t get a move on, we’re going to be late for your graduation ceremonies. Laura and Darren are probably wondering where we are.”

Sherry laughed and gave Brad a hug. “You’re not going to be one of those worrywart fathers, are you? I mean, I am almost eighteen. And we all agreed it’s time I learn to drive and, of course, date Daniel Aznar. . . .”