Traitor (6 page)

What was I supposed to say to a pleading mother? I shook my head quickly and agreed vehemently with Tess. “No, no, we won’t,” I sputtered, not sure how Tess was pulling off a façade so convincing. She’d never been the most conniving person I’d met, but she was definitely laying it on thick at the moment. It had to be genuine, which made it almost worse. My stomach clenched at the thought of how desperate Tess must be to side with a Changeling.

We were basically allying ourselves with the enemy. How had it come to this point? How could we even trust this creature? There were so many bad things that could come out of this arrangement, yet it seemed like this might be the only solid lead we’d ever see. I swallowed hard and nodded in agreement with Tess. “Dalbach, your secret is safe with us.”

“Wonderful,” Dalbach said gleefully. His wide smile revealed every single snaggled tooth in his maw and set my stomach churning. His eyes locked onto mine. “Untie me from these wretched ropes and I’ll be on my way.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” I said, stepping forward as Tess made a move to untie him. “Don’t you think we should talk about this?”

Tess looked at me, panicked. I could tell she didn’t want me to ruin this opportunity, but it seemed too good to be true. I would have bet the miniscule amount of money to my name that Dalbach had hypnotized Tess, if I hadn’t known that was impossible for a Changeling to do. That ability rested with the Pooka alone. They also could only come out at night, making it impossible for this to be one. No, this was simply a Changeling who had a way with words. Either way, letting Dalbach run back to Neamar by himself seemed to be one of the more idiotic plans someone could come up with, even for Tess.

I tried to make my proposition sound as diplomatic as possible. “Why don’t we both go to Neamar instead? That way I can see what’s going on and then we can come back. Both of us,” I added with emphasis. There was no way he was just going to slip away or worse, land me in Neamar for good.

Dalbach looked like he’d swallowed a lemon. “You’ll only slow me down, and when we return you’ll put me in these ropes again.”

“If you prove to be honest, maybe there won’t be a reason to tie you up again.”

Dalbach deliberated as he looked between Tess and I. Fastening on a face of utmost virtuosity, I smiled innocently. Tess looked hungrier than ever before. She was practically grabbing Dalbach by his feet, begging him to oblige.

Finally, he sighed and pursed his lips in frustration. He turned his head away from us as he spoke, refusing to look at us as he acquiesced to our requests. “I suppose we can go together. Not for long, though. And you must do everything I tell you to do. I don’t want you ruining everything by acting like an idiot while we’re there.”

I turned my head slightly and watched Tess out of the corner of my eye while still keeping tabs on Dalbach. Rocking back and forth on the floor, she broke my heart. I’d agreed to this death mission because she was like a second mom to me. I knew I was getting myself in over my head, and yet here I was, acting as though this was just another sunny day in paradise. Liam called me a bleeding heart. Maybe he was right.

I nodded stiffly toward Dalbach. “Alright, we’ll go for a day or two. We’ll find our family and get them back. Nothing long and no funny business.”

Tess clapped her hands together and put me in a vice-like hug. It was amazing she didn’t crack one of my ribs. When she finally choked out words, they came through thick sobs. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

My hands fumbled to pat her back and break the very one-sided hug. “Uh, don’t mention it.” I said, like a complete dork.

Seriously, don’t mention it,
I thought to myself as I imagined what Memaw, Liam, and Roslin were going to say when they found out.

I peered out of the crack between Tess’s arm and torso and saw a pleased Dalbach smile at me. In a weak attempt to mend the massive bridge between us, I smiled back at him. Maybe he was all right.

Or I could just be horribly wrong. Only one way to find out.

I
GROANED AS
I came to the realization that Liam was going to have to hear about the plan to go back into Neamar. He was violently opposed to my little missions, and there were a myriad of reasons he could call on as examples. It could be the fact that he was stuck here in the human realm getting mysterious cuts and bruises with no idea if I was okay. Maybe it was the desire he had to go find Aiden himself, which he’d brought up in conversations on numerous occasions. Another option could be the fact he felt flat out helpless when I was away from his protection.

I would never tell him, but Liam really struggled to protect me from much that I couldn’t take care of myself. Granted, we hadn’t had too many issues crop up since Ankou last showed up, so maybe Liam was capable of more than I gave him credit for. He was willing to lay down his life for me if need be. That was more than I could have ever asked of him and much more than I deserved. I needed to make more of a point to be the girl he deserved, as well.

Tess had Desmond, and that was understandable. What was the point of a nearly indestructible girl having a very destructible protector? The thought had plagued me more and more as the spring had gone on. No one seemed to want to answer the question, particularly Memaw. It felt like there was something she wasn’t being completely forthright about.

Liam didn’t see it that way, of course. I tried my best to stay out of trouble, but when you’re a Bridger and Ankou wants you for his own or dead, it seemed to bring trouble to you. Both Liam and I bore the scars and stitches to prove it. Instinctively I ran a finger along the butterfly stitches above my eye. Just another reminder of how delicately our lives were strung together. Cut the string, and both of us were done for.

I walked back out to find Tess on the couch holding a picture frame to her chest. She didn’t even realize I’d sat down beside her until I put my hand on her shoulder. I felt her shoulders rise and fall as she tried to control her ragged breathing. Tear stained streaks on her cheeks gave away that she’d been crying. A mother’s loss was something I couldn’t even begin to fathom. It looked like Tess was dying on the inside and it broke my heart. “Tess, we’re going to get him back,” I whispered gently, hoping my voice conveyed more confidence than I felt.

She turned her head to look my way, but she wasn’t really focusing on me. It was obvious that her mind was elsewhere, and that elsewhere was Neamar and Aiden. I could tell she was hurting. Not in a physical pain sense, but that made it worse. I couldn’t fix what she was going through without bringing Aiden back.

When she spoke, her words came out so low I had to lean in to catch them. “I don’t even know what he looks like any more.”

“It’s okay, I’ll find him. Dalbach will help us find him.”

Liam had returned with the men and overheard the end of our conversation. “Dalbach will do what?” He said as casually as he could, but the vein along the side of his temple pulsed when he clenched his jaw.

I caught the edge to his voice and knew he was bracing himself for whatever insane idea we’d hatched in his absence. Liam was the sensible one in our relationship. He humored my lesser crazy ideas with good grace, but also knew when to call shenanigans. This was going to be one of those shenanigan times; I could feel it.

The other guys bolted to the kitchen to escape, and I looked down and bit my bottom lip out of nervousness. I closed my eyes and prepared for the impending argument. “Dalbach and I are going to Neamar to find Aiden. He thinks he knows where Chris and Aiden might be.”

Silence. While Liam wasn’t a talker usually, this was a bad silence.

I broke it, unable to wait for him to articulate. “It’s only a day or two.”

Liam threw his hands in the air, wincing as his left shoulder popped out of its socket. I dislocated mine a few days before while rolling away from an angry Changeling, and Liam wasn’t a patient healer. His injuries took twice as long to heal because he was constantly aggravating the wounds time and time again. He took his free hand, clutched his shoulder, and wrenched it back into place. His face held composure the entire time, but it had to have hurt. He narrowed his eyes at me, but it wasn’t out of anger. I could tell this was his worried glare. His voice confirmed it. “That’s a day or two I can’t protect you!”

“You can’t protect me from everything.”

“I can’t protect you from anything when you’re not with me!”

Word vomit got the best of me. “You can’t protect me from anything when I
am
with you.”

Another more pronounced silence ensued. Tess had been observing the conversation without putting in her two cents, but the last comment was enough for her to chime in. Her tone was wearied and burdened, as though she bore the weight of the world on her broad shoulders. “Liam, let Ashlyn go. Maybe we’ll be able to get Aiden back before his birthday.”

“Dalbach’s a bloody Changeling, Mom! Ashlyn’s walking into a trap! I can’t do anything about it when she’s in Neamar. She’s on her own.”

Liam turned to look at me again, having directed his attention to his mom. His eyes hardened, but his tone was pleading. “Or, maybe you want to be on your own?”

I swallowed convulsively and battled to keep my face clear. He was all I wanted, it was just I wanted him safe, too. “You know it’s not like that, Liam.”

“Do I? You don’t think I can protect you from anything anyway.”

Liam had grown sensitive over the Protector issues the past few weeks. He pointed an accusatory finger at my coat, like it had done him personal harm. “You’re a big girl now with that big girl jacket from Adaire. You might as well go be part of the committee.”

I hadn’t told Liam what happened in Adaire when I went with Memaw in March, but he’d finally hit a nerve. “Maybe I would have been part of the committee already if it weren’t for the fact that I’ve been trying to keep you alive.”

Liam stood motionless. I stared at him, my eyes narrowed in anger. He gave me a piercing gaze in return, and it was obvious neither of us were going to back down. Tess cleared her voice and swung her arms uncomfortably, just to have something to do. “Well, you two are being as thick as bricks. While you sort this out, I’m going to go make us lunch.”

Tess left in a hurry, heading into the kitchen. She made more noise than necessary as she began cooking. Liam’s voice was subdued, and his face downcast. I knew I’d been unnecessarily cruel with that comment. He looked up and genuine concern covered his face. “What do you mean? I’m not holding you back. Go be immortal. We can still be together.”

Liam took my hands in his as he ended his comments, pulling me close to try to fix the argument we’d been having. I pushed away from his chest, determined to look anywhere but at him. It hurt too much to tell him the truth, but he needed to know. Needed to hear why I hadn’t become immortal. It would end up coming to light eventually; I just didn’t think we’d have to cover it right now. “No, we can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because if I take immortality, you’ll die. I’m mortal because I can’t be anything else without killing you.”

Liam’s eyes widened, his mouth slightly open. After a moment of shock, his eyebrows scrunched together in pain. “I cause you more hassle than I help you.”

I reached to grab his hand. “Liam, it’s fine. You’re worth it. I wouldn’t want to be without you, even if I could take immortality. We’re equals. You’re my boyfriend, and we’re in this together.” I squeezed his hand tightly and twisted the pewter ring he wore on his right pointer finger. It had the Irish claddagh carved into it and reminded me of his love for not only family, but also for me. He never took a commitment lightly. This was his reminder. I looked into his eyes and tried to convey how sincere I was with my words. “You are who I want to be with, even if it means I only get one lifetime. That’s what I as planning on, anyway. One lifetime. If it’s with you, then I’m going to be completely content. You should be okay with that, too.”

It was his turn to pull away from an embrace. “I’m not, though. That’s not how it should be. You’re more than just some regular person. We both know that, and I knew what it meant to be with you once you told me what was really going on. I’m supposed to be your Protector. Be there for you. Instead I’m hindering you and holding you back. That’s not what I’m supposed to be doing.”

My head found its home against his chest and I ran my hands across his back. I felt him put his head on the top of and I knew he was giving in. I sighed. Nothing could possibly be as comforting as being in Liam’s arms. Without meaning to, I changed the subject. “What does ’thick as bricks’ mean?”

Liam chuckled, and the reverberations in his chest moved me. “It means stupid.”

“How come she didn’t just say stupid?”

He pulled me away from his chest and examined me, his eyes warming as he took me in. “Because we’re Irish, and proud of it. We’ll use our own language, thank you very much.”

I laughed and poked a finger into his chest in mock censure. “You didn’t used to use
Irish-ese
.”

“You’re right, I didn’t,” he said lightly. His fingers traced the line of my jaw and he twirled a finger around a stray piece of hair with the utmost care. “I attempted to rein it in and use more
American-ese
to impress you.”

“You couldn’t speak American if you wanted to.”

He looked at me with jest, and spoke in the clearest Midwestern accent possible. He sounded just like the newscasters that were on in the evenings back home. “What do you think about this, eh? American enough for you?”

There was no hint of his usual Irish brogue, and it sent a little bit of loss coursing through my veins. I loved his accent. I shrugged and spoke back, attempting an Irish twinge. “Well, I can be as Irish as you are American.”

Tess heard my attempt and proved she’d been eavesdropping by letting out a resonant laugh. “That’s the worst go at an Irish accent I’ve ever heard in my life, Ashlyn McVean. Your grandmother would be ashamed!”

Liam doubled over in laughter as well. I punched him for good measure, and he curled sideways to block my next playful attack. There were other ways to get him, though. My legs coiled and sprung, then wrapped around his waist as we fell to the ground, both of us laughing.