Traitorous Attraction (9 page)

His hand covered hers. “Did you see anyone?” he asked again.

He’d no doubt meant the gesture to get her attention, but it turned into something primal. She turned her hand over and laced their fingers. “No, I didn’t see anyone. I’m tired and jumpy.”

Connor looked from their interlocked hands to her face. He didn’t drag his hand away as she’d expected. He brought his free hand to the back of her neck and pulled her close, stopping when his lips were inches from hers. “What are you doing?” Darkness danced in his eyes, and though he wouldn’t hurt her, she sensed a danger that lay in wait in him.

“What do you mean? I’m holding your hand and waiting for you to kiss me.”

Connor drew away a few inches, confusion plain on his face. “Why?”

Why? Didn’t he feel the connection? She drew air into her lungs. “From the first time I saw you, I felt something. I want you. I want to know what it’s like to kiss a man like you.”

“Define what you mean.”

Did he have to question and overthink everything? “Strong. Smart. Handsome.” What woman wasn’t looking for those qualities?

Connor stared at her for a long moment. “You don’t have to pay me for helping you with sex.”

She recoiled as if he’d slapped her, pulling her hand away. “I am not trying to pay you with sex. I am not interested in sex.” At least, not just sex. No doubt Connor would have some amazing moves in bed. But Kate wasn’t looking for that. She just wanted to explore the attraction, get her mind off being stalked by Sphere and do what felt right.

“I don’t think this is a good idea. You’re bored,” he said.

“Bored?” she asked, his rejection stinging her pride and making her feel foolish.

“I’m the only man out here.”

She threw up her hands in frustration. “I don’t need a man so much that I just throw myself at the closest one. I’m not bored. I’m interested. Or I was before you made this into an overly complicated situation.”

“You’re looking for ways to pass the time.”

Kate glared at him. “Pass the time? No, actually. Making camp here for the night means we have more time to get to know each other.” She held up her hand. “And that isn’t a euphemism for sleeping together. I thought after what we’ve been through, we had something. Now I’m mad that you’re making me explain myself. Can’t you go with the flow and not question everyone’s motives and reasoning? Sometimes it’s just emotion. Not logic.”

Connor jammed a hand through his hair. “Of course I question your motives. I have from the beginning.”

Was he dense or was he taking pleasure in seeing her get mad? She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. “You’re a good-looking man.” Simple.

Connor’s eyebrows lifted. “You’re coming on to me?”

She couldn’t be the first woman to tell him he was attractive. Why was he surprised? “You must know women find you attractive.”

He inclined his head. “I don’t know what women think about.”

Did this have to do with his trust issues or was he unaware of his sexual pull? It made him more charming that he wasn’t aware of it, or at least not arrogant about it. “You’ve got a lot going for you. Having sex with you has crossed my mind.” She’d wanted a reaction, wanted to break through his frosty exterior, and she’d succeeded.

Connor traced his finger over her lower lip. “You are a complicated woman. There’s layers here I’ve only begun to figure out.”

Her heart sang. It was the first time a man—aside from her father—had said that about her. Most men she had dated didn’t see much past her looks.

“We’re alone. You have all night to see what you can figure out,” Kate said.

Her words had turned him on. His eyes were wide. “This is an interesting side of you.”

“What’s interesting about it? I’m just putting it on the table for you to see.” She wrapped her arms around his neck.

His breathing escalated. He inched closer. He was into her. He was into this. The evidence was pressing into her stomach. He rotated his hips against hers in a slow, smooth rhythm, giving her the undeniable impression that she had been right: he would be very good in bed.

Her legs weakened and Kate tightened her hold on him. She wanted more, wanted to see how far he would go before one of them stopped this. Her mind swam with warnings, but her body ached for more. She pressed full against him.

His eyes blazed. “You’re playing with a fire you can’t control.”

“You don’t know what I can and can’t do. Don’t underestimate me.”

Connor brought his mouth down on hers in a hard, demanding kiss. She melted into him, opening her mouth, sucking lightly on the end of his tongue. His hands went to the back of her head and pulled free the clasp binding her hair. Connor kept his emotions on a tight leash. Too tight. She was getting the raw, intense passion that had been concealed beneath his careful control. Kate lifted her leg, wrapping it around the back of Connor’s thigh, anchoring her body to his.

Her feelings for him rocketed from crush to full-on lust. Work hard, play hard. Yes, yes, yes.

A growl sounded in his chest and he tore his lips away. “This has gone far enough.” He sounded angry. Angry he had lost control?

“A kiss? That’s not far at all,” she said. Taunting him.

The brown of his eyes deepened, and she was suddenly very aware of how mercurial Connor could be when his back was against the wall. From kissing her as if passion was absolutely in charge to denying that it could go further in the span of several moments. “Let me walk you through this in ten seconds or less. If this goes further, we’ll both be distracted. Instead of tracking Aiden, we’ll be worried about getting each other naked as often as possible. That’s not good for anyone. If I make a mistake and Aiden suffers for it, I’ll blame myself, and resentment will build. You’ll get hurt, and it all circles back to my inability to keep it in my pants. I won’t let that happen to you. To Aiden. To myself.”

She didn’t buy that something happening between them would be exclusively about sex. Maybe their relationship ended the moment they located Aiden. Maybe they returned to the United States and never spoke again. The uncertainty of the future was always a challenge with relationships, but it had never stopped her from getting into one. Even with Michael, even if what Connor had said about him was true, she didn’t regret what had happened. “You’re very good at making reasons to keep people at arm’s length.” She didn’t move away from him. She leaned in closer.

Connor took her arms, holding her in place, and stepped back. “Experience has taught me it’s better that way.”

It was her turn to be blunt. “You said you weren’t afraid of anything but I don’t think that’s true. I think you’re afraid of being hurt. If you keep everyone away, if you refuse to trust people, then you can never be hurt,” she said.

“Interesting assessment.” A dismissal.

Freezing her out. Unwilling to talk. She wasn’t ready to let it go. She could get him to be open with her. “Aiden shared some about what it was like for him growing up. I know the two of you forged a bond from a less-than-perfect childhood. I know you’ve both overcome obstacles to be where you are today. I know you both have worked to be strong and sharp. But how is Aiden so open and you are so closed?”

“If you and Aiden are close, I assume he would have explained that to you,” Connor said, pacing in the hut, putting more distance between them. “We need sleep.”

She had pushed too hard and he had emotionally shut down. Kate wouldn’t give up, but she wouldn’t press him now when it would get her nowhere. She had time. “I’m exhausted. I could fall asleep on a pile of burning coals.”

Connor had left the door to the hut open and the grass figure swung as if from a hangman’s noose. It caught her attention and Kate wished the creepy figures would disappear.

Connor followed her gaze to the doorway. “I’ll remove it if it bothers you.” He sounded almost apologetic. She knew it wasn’t about the figures.

Superstition prevented her from telling him to get rid of them. “If they have some religious meaning, I don’t want to destroy them and risk the wrath of whatever power they were supposed to ward away.”

The corner of Connor’s mouth lifted. “A religious woman? I never would have pegged you for that.”

Her belief system wasn’t something she discussed with anyone at work. For the most part, it seemed as if the people she worked with and for didn’t believe in a higher power. Perhaps it was because they engaged in life-and-death decisions every day or perhaps it was because they relied on themselves in the field when their prayers weren’t answered.

“I’ll choose not to take that as an insult. I do believe in a higher power. When I’m in contact with an agent working in the field and something goes wrong, I say a quiet prayer.”

Sadness touched the corners of Connor’s eyes. “How many of those prayers were said for Aiden?”

Not the response she had been expecting. “Many. But we’re going to find him.”

The expression on his face was filled with doubt, and Kate wished she could make this right for him. She wished she could guarantee they would find Aiden. She wished Connor would open up to her. And she wished she could tell Connor the role she’d played in Aiden’s disappearance without demolishing the little trust that had formed between them.

* * *

Connor had almost lost control. When he’d held Kate close, he’d felt it slipping and it had taken him far too long to get it back. He trusted no one and he considered that a good trait. When he was around Kate, she made him too comfortable. She was easy to talk to. She was stunning and her attention led him to feeling energized and powerful.

He’d have to be careful. While he might have mischaracterized her relationship with his brother, knowing she was single couldn’t change his boundaries with her. Aiden had to come first. Any distractions could cause a mistake.

When he fell asleep, Kate was breathing evenly. He was tempted to pull his pallet closer to hers. After some internal debate, he decided against it. Being in the same hut was close enough. Though his body ached to hold her as he had the night before, he didn’t need to sleep beside her. She was near enough to protect.

Connor was dreaming, a dream he hadn’t had in a number of years, of his mother and her face the last time he had seen her. She was kissing him and Aiden on the cheek, telling them to be good boys. She was crying and getting into her boxy navy blue sedan. When he had turned away from her, unable to watch for another moment, he saw his father standing in the doorway observing them with cold detachment, his hands in his pockets.

How soon after she’d left had Connor become his father’s punching bag? His mother had always protected him and his brother from their father’s temper. Now that she was gone, Connor had to protect Aiden. Connor had no one to rely on and no one he could trust except his brother. He hadn’t wanted Aiden and him to be split up, and he knew if anyone found out about his father, they’d be sent to foster care. Separate foster houses and he’d risk never seeing his brother again. Unacceptable on all levels. He’d had to look out for Aiden no matter what.

Connor awoke to a sound outside the hut. His chest was heavy with sadness and the hurt that echoed across time from a wound that had never healed. An engine revved and then the unmistakable sounds of footsteps and flames. Snapping into the present, Connor was freed of the dream, and the last of his sadness dissipated. His body went on full alert, his mind kicked into gear and he brushed aside remnants of the cutting memory of his mother leaving.

Another human was in the village. Perhaps it wasn’t abandoned as he had believed. Were he and Kate trespassing on someone’s land? Their fire had gone out, but the heavy smell of burned wood clung to the air. Would their late-night visitors notice and investigate?

Without the benefit of sight, Connor was working at a deficit, and with Kate to protect, the stakes were higher. If he woke her, would she come awake quietly and follow him without question? Could he leave her asleep and carry her away without being seen? A dozen scenarios crowded his head.

This was one of the thousand reasons bringing a newbie into the field was dangerous. A seasoned veteran would know how to respond to being woken abruptly: quietly and defensively. He wouldn’t have to worry about protecting a seasoned veteran.

The Sphere agents who had followed them at the airport could be searching for them. Nomadic people from the jungle could have been looking for a safe place to spend the night and found the village. The AR could have a group on patrol. A tourist could have wandered into the village.

Connor was trained to anticipate and prepare for the worst-case scenario. He’d assume an enemy had arrived armed with guns and knives, looking for tourists to either rob or kill.

Would the person or people outside check every hut in the abandoned village? If he and Kate remained quiet, would they leave without an altercation?

Connor reached into his pack for his knife. He grasped the handle and pulled it free. Should he wake Kate? If she woke disoriented, they would waste time they didn’t have or risk making noise that brought someone to investigate. She had been quiet and calm when she’d been woken in Rosario by a late-night visitor. Making a decision, he touched Kate’s shoulder.

“Kate,” he whispered.

“Hmm?” Kate asked.

“Remain calm. Someone is outside. I need you to be quiet and follow me,” Connor said.

She sat and squeezed his arm, letting him know she’d heard him. He went to the window and peered out.

Four men exited a vehicle and all four had guns strapped across their bodies. Two carried torches. They wore military fatigues and had black armbands tied around their upper arm. The Armed Revolutionaries.

Three of the men turned toward the tallest. After the large man said something Connor couldn’t hear and gestured, two jogged off away from the huts. The remaining pair stood in direct view. One man smoked a cigarette, while the other stood next to him, waiting. When the man Connor guessed to be the leader finished his cigarette, he flicked it to the ground. He and his partner began to open the doors of the huts and peer inside. In his current position, Connor couldn’t exit without being seen.