Authors: Linda Hill
I didn’t reply, and her focus finally fell on me. “The room, I mean. It turned out just as we’d envisioned it.”
The sight of her almost took my breath away. I didn’t know how to respond or why she was here. My instinct was sarcasm. Probably not the best choice.
“You mean the way
you
envisioned it.”
I watched her blink twice before she spoke.
“It could use some furniture, though. Don’t you think?”
I was surprised to find that it was anger that began to boil in my veins. Who did she think she was? She had accused me of the vilest behavior and tossed me from her life. Now she just shows up on my doorstep and wants to talk about
decorating?
“You know that decorating and remodeling aren’t exactly my strong suit.” I tried to keep the sarcasm from my voice.
Her lips curled up on one side.
“I’m sorry. That’s not quite the way I wanted to start this conversation.” She averted her eyes momentarily as I kept silent.
“I wanted to talk to you,” she began.
“You couldn’t just pick up the phone?”
Her eyes were steady now. “I didn’t think you’d talk to me, if you want the truth.”
Would I have talked to her? I couldn’t imagine that I wouldn’t have.
“So you decided just to show up?” My voice sounded stern and distant, the opposite of what I was feeling.
“Actually, it was Beth who convinced me —”
“Beth put you up to this?” I was incredulous.
“No, no.” She lifted a hand in my direction. “Don’t be mad at Beth. I’ve wanted to talk to you for some time. When she came to the store yesterday I asked about you. She convinced me that you don’t hate me and that I should come over.”
I held back my smile.
“Do you hate me, Kate?” She was smiling nervously.
“Of course not, Annie. How could I?” My knees felt weak, and I covered the few feet between us and joined her on the window seat. I sat several feet away, watching as she stared down at the floor at nothing in particular.
“I should have come and talked to you weeks ago,” she began. Her voice was steady but she kept her eyes from mine. “But I was just so ashamed of myself.”
I didn’t know what to say and so I was silent, allowing her to continue.
“I said some ugly things to you. I accused you of plotting and planning against me. I can’t believe I ever could have thought those things.”
“Did you honestly think that I would have intentionally set out to hurt you that way?” As much as I wanted to make things easy for her, I needed some answers.
“I don’t think that I was thinking at all,” she told me. “All I heard was Donald’s name, and suddenly I didn’t trust anything or anyone.” She raised her eyes to mine. “I know it’s no excuse, but you have no idea how miserable that man and his family have made my life. All I could think of was that they had found yet another way to destroy me.” She was shaking her head. “I was completely irrational, Kate. I should have listened to you and believed in you. I’m sorry.”
I was finally hearing her words that I had dreamt she would say. But something still unsettled me.
“Why did you lie to me, Annie? Why did you tell me you were divorced?”
Her sigh was heavy as her eyes dropped back to the floor. “There were a number of reasons. But none of them make much sense now,” she admitted.
“At first I didn’t tell you because I thought that you might be completely put off by the fact that you were seeing a married woman. The divorce was supposed to be final in a couple of months, and I reasoned that it was only a little lie.”
The excuse sounded lame.
“The other reason that I didn’t tell you, and the reason that I was careful about keeping you away from the house, was because I was constantly afraid that Donald would somehow find out about the two of us. He had already made such an ugly scene when he found out that I was with another woman. The last thing that I wanted was to give him more ammunition before the case was final.”
I believed what she was saying, but it still seemed to me that she’d gone to extreme lengths to keep her life a secret from me.
“I can’t believe that you didn’t tell me that all these things were going on with you. Annie, I could have helped you.”
“I know that now. But at the time I didn’t trust that you wouldn’t walk away if you knew how complicated things were.”
I shook my head. “You didn’t trust me.”
“No,” she admitted. “I probably didn’t. It was difficult for me to believe that you actually cared enough to help me through it.”
“That’s ridiculous, Annie.” None of it made sense.
“Maybe to you it does. But after years and years of living with that man, I learned the hard way not to trust anyone.”
I was listening to her words, trying to understand and even sympathize. But I felt empty.
“So what made you come here today?” I asked quietly.
Another loud sigh. “To apologize. And to thank you for what you did.” She was fidgeting, trying to smile. “Bob told me what little he knew. Melanie filled me in on the rest. You took a big risk, Kate.”
I shrugged. “Probably. The truth is that I hated Gold even before I knew he was your husband. I tried to come up with all kinds of ideas to keep him from getting the house. Then when I found out it was you ...” I shivered at the memory.
We sat together awkwardly for a full minute while I fidgeted, trying to find something to do with my hands. The silence was finally broken when Annie stood abruptly.
“I guess I should go.”
She caught me so off guard that I simply stared at her. She must have taken my lack of reply as an acknowledgment of some kind, because she gave me a curt nod and began walking toward the door.
Anger flooded through me. “Wait a minute,” I called out, jumping to my feet. She stopped cold and turned to face me.
The expression in her eyes hovered between fear and sadness.
“That’s it?” I demanded. “I don’t hear from you in nearly two months and you just show up here and clear your conscience and then walk away?” I was furious.
She continued to stare at me, remaining speechless.
“No ‘Gee, Kate, how have you been?’ or ‘Hi, Kate, what have you been doing lately?’”
She looked so sad and all I wanted to do was shake her or kiss her or make her laugh. Anything to put a smile on that beautiful face.
My voice softened as my heart began to weaken. “How about ‘It’s good to see you, Kate. I’ve missed you.’”
A slow smile found her lips. She cleared her throat and took a deep breath. “Hi, Kate. It’s good to see you,” she repeated my words until her smile reached her eyes. “I’ve missed you.” She paused. “Very much.”
I forgot about the accusations and mistrust.
“I’ve missed you too,” I told her.
“Do you think you can ever forgive me?” I thought that I could see a glimmer of tears in her eyes.
“Do you think you can ever trust me?”
Her smile became lopsided. “
Touche
.”
Again we stood awkwardly, the fight now gone completely.
“Are you seeing anyone, Counselor?”
I laughed. “You know better than that, Annie.”
“Just fishing.” She grinned, and I nodded. It was so good just to see her face, to hear her voice.
“Why, did you have someone in mind?” I asked coyly.
She nodded. “I did, actually. I was thinking somewhere along the lines of a reconciliation.”
Now I was smiling. “With you?”
She grew suddenly shy. “If you’ll have me.”
“You know that I will,” I told her. “But I think you know that we have an awful lot of talking to do.”
“That we do, Kate.” She took slow steps to cover the distance between us. “And I promise that I’ll tell you every boring and gruesome detail of my life, if you still want me to.”
“I do. Every detail.”
She was so close now that I could have reached out and touched her. I could smell her freshness and see the small creases around her eyes.
“But before I start, I was thinking that what I’d really like, more
that
anything, is just to hold you.”
My heart was beating loudly as I lifted my arms. We settled into each other, wrapping arms around one another and holding on for the longest time.
“Oh, Kate,” she murmured against my ear. “I can’t believe how foolish I was.” I could tell by the sound of her voice that she was crying.
“It’s okay, Annie. We’ll work everything out.” There was nothing I wanted more.
“I still want to grow old with you, you know.” Her lips were still pressed against my ear, but she seemed calmer now.
“Is that a proposal?” I smiled, remembering the conversation we’d had many weeks ago.
“Yes,” she replied without hesitation.
I lifted my head to stare into her eyes. “Wait a minute,” I laughed. “I thought you had some rule about not getting married until you knew someone for at least a year.”
She laughed too, eyes glistening. “Honey, after everything that’s happened in the last few months, I’m not taking anything for granted.” She leaned forward until her forehead was pressed to mine. “I’m so sorry that I hurt you, Kate. I love you so much.”
Had I heard her correctly? I searched her eyes and saw the mixture of emotions that left no doubt about how she felt.
I touched her lips with mine. “I love you too, Annie.” Our lips came together, lightly at first, remembering. I shivered in her arms, basking in the moment. Then our kiss became urgent and demanding. We had two very long months of separation to make up for.
About The Author
Originally born and raised in Iowa, Linda now splits her time between her home in Massachusetts and her new gal, Bella, in Florida. While her biggest complaint remains that there simply aren’t enough hours in the day to do everything she’d like, she still insists that she’s the luckiest woman alive. Maggie continues to be the sweetest thing that Linda has ever known.
Publications from
Bella Books, Inc.
The best in contemporary lesbian fiction
P.O. Box 10543, Tallahassee, FL 32302
Phone: 800-729-4992
www.bellabooks.com
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