Tremble (14 page)

17

I hadn’t said a word since Kale dragged me to the car. Agents had swarmed the backyard as we climbed to our feet, but Kale, who must have had a moment of clarity, fought them off with practiced ease. Now, with the trees zooming by in a blur of green and brown as my foot fell heavily on the accelerator, I went over the important moments in my life.

The first thing I’d mimicked—a stupid Barbie doll at the toy store with Brandt and Uncle Mark. The time Brandt and I smoked our first—and last—cigarette. The moment Dad told me Brandt had been killed. The first time I saw my mom. The moment Sheltie confessed to being Brandt. And Kale. Thousands of freeze-frame moments with Kale. There were some in-between things. Alex, scenes from parties, holidays with friends… None of it was enough.

When Able poisoned me, I’d been terrified of dying. Still, somewhere in the back of my mind, I’d always believed there’d be a way around it. No matter how low I got and how hopeless the whole situation seemed, I believed in my soul I’d make it through. And I had. I’d gotten the antidote and lived to see another day. This time was different. For the first time in my life, I truly felt like I had no hope.

“I’m sorry,” Kale said as we crossed the border back into Ben’s town. He peeked my way every so often but remained silent the entire ride.

“Are you?” I intended to ignore him, but the words slipped from my mouth regardless. I swiveled in my seat as we pulled up to a stoplight, stomping down hard on the break and slamming it into park. “And what exactly are you sorry about?” I unfastened the seat belt and threw open the car door.

It was late—or early, depending on how you looked at it. The road was empty, and the storefronts lining the sidewalk were dark. The world was slipping away. I didn’t care about manners and niceties. The fact that the engine was still running or that I was standing in the middle of the road in a strange town and nearly blocking a four-way intersection was of no consequence.

On the other side of the car, Kale got out as well.

“Are you sorry because you sucked face with my sister? That you’ve threatened to kill me several times? Or maybe you’re sorry that you’ve essentially kidnapped me?”

There was an edge of hysteria to my voice that, while it scared me, was somewhat comforting. Each day that passed without Kale was like a cancer that ate away my soul. For months it built, the pressure coming so close to consuming me, but I’d kept it together. Now, though, that buildup had finally reached the breaking point.

“Or,” I continued, stomping around the car to stand in front of him, “maybe you’re sorry that you can’t remember me? Could you be sorry because you’re too weak to admit you have strong feelings for me—even though you don’t understand them? Maybe you feel sorry for the poor, lovesick girl who’s sticking around in hopes of getting the most important person in her life back—just in time to die.” I smacked my head and stomped my foot hard. “That’s it! You’re sorry you just condemned me to death? Is that right? Because that’s what you did by dragging me from that house
without
Penny Mills. I’m as good as
dead
now. I’m dead. She’s dead. Ashley’s dead. So many innocent people—dead! Is that why you’re
sorry?
”

He waited. Patiently standing there while I raged in the middle of the road like a raving lunatic. The light had since changed colors—several times—but no other cars had come. Once I finished, breath coming in short rasps and heart hammering like the bass in the back of Brandt’s old jeep, he pushed off the car and was in front of me. Pinning me tightly between the back door and his body, he leaned close.

Intoxicatingly warm breath tickling my neck, he whispered in my ear. “Maybe I’m sorry about none of it.” His lips didn’t touch my skin, but I could feel them, excruciatingly close, as he moved down my neck and then back up again, trailing imaginary kisses all the way to my ear. Skimming the edge of my jaw with the tip of his nose, he pulled back, bright blue eyes affixed to mine. “Or maybe I’m sorry about all of it.”

How fast could the human heart beat before it exploded? How much could the body take before it simply caved?

There was so much going on in that moment. The fierce, hungry look in his eyes. A look that was at war with the language of his body.

Get closer
.

Stay far away
.

Touch her.

Don’t touch her.

Love her.

Kill her.

I opened my mouth to speak but could only gasp when he leaned even closer. Icy blue eyes kept me rooted as his jaw tightened. It was like he was concentrating. Trying hard to see me—
really see
me. “You’re right. I am lying. I have very strong feelings for you. I just don’t know if they’re good or—”

He never finished. Instead, he mashed his lips to mine, fingers gripping my hips hard enough to guarantee bruises. I could barely move—barely breathe—but I didn’t care. If I was going to die, then this was how I wanted to go out. He might not be 100 percent
my Kale
, but Kale was Kale. I would take him any way I could.

One minute we were pressed against the back driver’s side door, the next we were scooting toward the trunk, lost in each other. Our lips never broke contact. Not as he hefted me onto the trunk or as I wrapped my legs around his waist, securing him tightly as his fingers wound through the belt loops of my jeans.

The kiss at Ashley’s hadn’t done my memories justice. Granted, it’d been quick and mainly for shock value, but this… This was the fire I remembered. Even with Kale’s thoughts of me buried out of reach, I seemed to have an effect on him. I’d kissed a lot of guys in my life, but his reactions—even now—were unlike any I’d ever experienced.

He kissed me as though I were life itself. Precious and balanced precariously on the edge of everything. With each passing moment it grew more heated. It were as if he was waking up from an eternity of sleep and trying to make up for the time we’d lost.
He
was Sleeping Beauty and
I
was the prince.

God only knew how far we would have taken it if a car hadn’t pulled up behind us and the driver hadn’t leaned on his horn.

We pulled apart, breath labored. The driver swerved around us, screaming a string of colorful phrases, and peeled away, tires squealing as he disappeared down the road into darkness.

When I turned back, Kale was staring at me. “I… That was…”

Something rattled in the alley behind us. The streetlight on the other side of the road was out, so when I turned to look I almost missed it. The subtle flash of something metallic. “Shit,” I breathed. My legs were still wrapped around Kale’s waist, and when I threw myself sideways off the trunk of the car, he followed by default. The dart sailed harmlessly above us.

“Denazen,” I whispered, peering around the edge of the car. Sure. Someone couldn’t drive up now, right? It had to be in the middle of that awesome kiss? It was official. The universe had a grudge against me. Though maybe the driver had done us a favor. If not for him, I was pretty sure Denazen could have danced their way to the car with bells on and tranqued us at close range before we knew what was going on.

Kale dropped to his stomach as something dinged the side of the car. “They’re surrounding us. We need to move.” He grabbed my arm and shoved me toward the back wheel. “Get underneath.”

I slid my body along the blacktop and wedged myself beneath the car as Kale did the same. A small part of me started to panic. If someone came up behind and wasn’t paying attention, what would happen if they hit us? Would we be squashed?

“Here.” Kale pried the manhole cover off and dragged it to the side. The scraping sound it made against the pavement echoed through the streets. There was no way the agents hadn’t heard it. They would know exactly what we were doing—and where we were going. “Hurry. Get in.”

I tried to shimmy around, but the way I was angled, it was headfirst or nothing. Fantastic. Sewer diving. My December was officially complete.

I slipped my torso into the hole, grabbing the ladder tightly with both hands, and crept down several rungs, trying hard not to flinch at the icy metal. When my feet were clear of the opening, I kicked off and flipped. The landing was less than graceful, but nothing was broken and there was no blood. Sometimes that was all you could hope for. A few moments later, Kale’s feet appeared and the sound of the metal lid scraping the pavement as he pulled the cover back over the opening filled the air.

“Move,” he snapped, jumping from the ladder. “They won’t be far behind.”

We followed the wall for a while. The smell was horrific, and I didn’t even want to think about the squishy stuff I was stepping in. For once I was thankful it was freezing outside. If this had been summer, the stench would have been unbearable.

“So…”

“So, what?” Kale didn’t turn, but I could see him glancing at me every few minutes from the corner of his eye. We’d been moving for a few minutes and the silence was driving me crazy.

“You don’t wanna say anything?”

He stopped walking and turned. “Anything?”

“About the kiss?”

“Oh.” He shrugged and started walking again.

“Oh?” I practically squealed. “One minute you hate me, the next you’re sucking the tonsils from my throat and all you have to say is, oh?”

“It was nice.”

“Nice?
Oh
, that was better than nice and you know it. But did it bring anything up?” When I realized what I’d said I felt the heat rush to my cheeks. With anyone else—Alex particularly—it would have been a disaster. Ten thousand jokes handed to him on a silver platter. “Memories,” I added quickly. “Did it bring any
memories
up?”

“I remember the feeling.” He sighed. “Something all-consuming. A need I couldn’t get enough of. Someone…”

“Someone?” I asked, hopeful.

He turned, and for a second I was sure he’d lean in and kiss me again. But he didn’t. Instead, he nodded into the darkness ahead. “It’s not safe to stand still. We should keep moving.”

We should keep moving.

Holy crap. What the hell was I thinking? As much as I wanted to know his thoughts on our kiss and if it’d gotten us any closer to a breakthrough, doing it now, with agents so close, was suicide. Worry churned in my stomach, and I tried to push it back. It was getting worse. Each day that went by stole more and more of my focus. Concentration was something that took effort, and it scared me. What if the protein was building faster in my system for some reason? Maybe I’d go over the deep end
before
hitting eighteen.

“Are you okay?” Kale asked when I didn’t make a move to follow.

“Oh, yeah,” I answered. Not the time to freak out. There’d be plenty of time for that later. I hoped. “Sorry. I turn eighteen soon. I guess the drug is starting to take effect.”

He looked like there was something he wanted to say, but instead, he nodded and held out his hand. “I think we’re almost at the end.”

When we finally emerged onto the street, I was wet, nearly frozen, and suspected my sense of smell might be gone for good.

Kale grabbed my hand to help me up. When I placed my foot on the pavement I wasn’t paying attention. Truthfully, I was watching him. The subtle bulge of muscle beneath his hoodie and the generous tilt of his lips. That kiss… In my defense, I’d been Kale-deprived for months, but I knew my timing was a bit on the stupid side.

I slipped on a patch of ice but Kale, quick as ever, caught me before I toppled completely. Our eyes met, and for a second I forgot how to breathe.

“We can’t go back for the car,” he said. He sounded a little disappointed.

A simple, casual statement with no romantic overtones, right? Sure. The words were general. But the look in his eyes was anything but. Heat flared to life as those beautiful blues stole every ounce of my focus—what little I had—and I wondered what we might do if we
could
go back to the car. The months we’d spent apart vanished. It was us against the world again. There was no
my Kale
and
their Kale
. There was only us.

“Dez, I—” But he didn’t finish. Whatever he’d been about to say was lost as confusion set back in.

It was the first time he’d used my name since the night I’d found him at the party. The sound of the word on his lips made the butterflies rage in the pit of my stomach and sent warm tingles up and down my spine. I cleared my throat and stepped away, trying hard not to be disappointed when he didn’t continue. Time. It would take time. I was about to tell him how annoyed Ginger would be about the car but a low hum came from Kale’s pocket. “What is that?”

He dug his cell out. “I put it on vibrate. Just to be safe.” After staring at the screen for a moment, he motioned for me to follow him around the side of the nearest building and answered it. “Start talking.”

Speaker was out of the question, but I was able to lean close enough to hear the other end of the conversation. It was Aubrey.

“Not a lot of time, so listen up. She’s telling you the truth—Dez. Everything Cross and Roz told you is a lie. They’re going to be at the Burns airport in Connecticut tomorrow to get a Six named Ben Simmons. You need to get to him first.”

Kale was silent for a moment. His eyes stayed fixed on the ground at our feet, but his shoulders tensed. He took a deep breath and asked, “Why are you telling me this?”

There was a small pause, then a sigh. “We’re friends, man. We didn’t start that way, but we are now. That’s
not
a lie. You don’t remember, but we talked before they did this to you. I trusted you with something. Now you have to trust me.”

“Denazen attacked me,” Kale said, voice dangerous. His free hand balled into a tight fist. “You’re with them. Why should I trust you?”

“I’m not with them, man. Not really. I’ll be at the airport with them tomorrow, and I’ll do what I can to slow them down, but no promises. First things first, though. In your right shoulder there’s a chip. They’ve been tracking you. It’s how they found you at the hotel, and how they were able to follow you to Penny Mills’s house. You need to get it out now or there’s no place you can run that they won’t be able to find you.” A slight pause. “Look, I know you, dude. You’re not sure if you can believe me and I get it, but I’ll give you proof. There’s a bathroom on the first floor at the airport. It will be marked with an Out of Order sign. Check under the last sink. There will be something there for you.”