Trespass (24 page)

Russ looked down at himself and decided this ensemble actually worked rather well for the circumstances. He jogged to the front door, took a breath and opened it.

Ben grinned at him through the screen, beady brown eyes taking in his getup, or lack thereof. “Catch you at a bad time, Russ?”

“Just woke up. Sorry. Couldn’t find my robe. What can I do for you so early, Ben?”

“I’ve come to talk to your guest, actually. Sarah.”

“Oh really?” Russ hoped against bizarre hope. “This a social call?”

“’Fraid not. More of a missing-person-type issue. I got some questions for her.”

“Oh.”

“So, if you don’t mind me coming in…” Ben opened the screen door.

“She’s gone,” Russ blurted.

“Gone? ’Til when?”

“I dunno, actually. She disappeared late last night, left a thank-you note and half the tips she made off Harry.” Wait. Shit.
Please don’t ask to see the note.
“Other day she was asking me what the best route was to take to Canada, but I didn’t think anything of it…thought we were just talking.”

Ben swore and shook his head, looking pissed. Looking like he believed Russ. “This is real unfortunate.”

“Apparently.”

“That girl’s in some nasty kind of trouble, as best I can gather,” Ben said. “Thought something was fishy about her first time I saw you two in the parking lot. She seemed real evasive at the bar too. I got to talking with Tyler about her, and he pointed out she had a mighty funny accent for a Florida girl. So I ran some checks. I don’t know about no Sarah Roberts, but there’s a Sarah Novak who used to tend bar in upstate New York and a lot of people are looking for her. They found her phone and bank card in a restaurant trash can in Des Moines.”

“Oh?”

“Your houseguest ain’t who she says she is, Russ.”

“Wow. I really don’t know what to—”

An electronic ping interrupted them, and Ben pulled his phone from his belt holster. “Yeah? This ain’t the best time, actually… Shit. Anybody hurt bad? Goddamn, your timing couldn’t be worse. Uh-huh. Yeah, I know it ain’t. Okay, fine.” He clipped the phone in its place. “Fuck it all. I gotta go, but I need to talk to you some more. It’s real important we find that girl.”

“Right, well—”

“I’ll be by again soon as I can.” Ben let the door hiss closed and turned to Russ as he clomped down the front steps. “I dunno what she told you, Russ, but she ain’t who she says she is. You call me. And if she contacts you or comes back, for the love of God, keep her here, however you have to.”

Russ watched until the cruiser disappeared then bolted for the back door. He stubbed his toe on the steps and burst into the barn, treading in God knew what. “Sarah?”

She emerged from behind a stack of bales, hugging the robe tight around her. “He’s gone?”

“Yeah. He got called off for some accident. He knows who you are. We have to move fast.”

She hurried forward. “What do we do?”

“You pack everything you have while I toss some hay and water at the horses. Then I drive you to Billings and we get you on a bus.”

“What if they need ID?”

“I’ll buy the ticket…or you can use your fake license. I dunno. We just pray it works out. And if it doesn’t, I’ll drive you as far as I can, okay?”

She shook her head. “I don’t want you involved like that. They could figure out where you went, somehow.”

“I’ll pretend I had other business in the city. Don’t worry about that. Just get dressed and get your stuff together, grab some food for the road and meet me at the truck in five minutes.”

She nodded and went inside. Russ followed, throwing on some clothes. He did the bare minimum he could get away with for the horses and dogs, and found Sarah waiting for him at the truck.

“You better be ready to scrunch down as low as you can once we’re on the road, in case we pass somebody.”

She nodded and climbed in.

Russ’s heart pounded as he opened his door. He grabbed a pad and pen from the glovebox and scribbled a note.

Ben—had to run off on a job. Call me if you need anything.

He intentionally left out his cell phone number, thinking maybe that’d buy him a few extra minutes if need be. He dashed to the door and slid the paper in the frame of the screen.

Sarah looked pale and thin in the passenger seat so Russ concentrated on driving, afraid to glance at her and see that fear in her eyes. Too heartbreaking. Too damn painful, looking at what he was about to lose. Fucking hell, he was supposed to be making her pancakes right now. He wasn’t supposed to be driving her right out of his life, no time for goodbyes.

He took a back road, a truck route that’d take them off-course at first, but avoid the town and most of the traffic. A dozen fresh, hopeful, deluded ideas flashed through Russ’s mind.

Maybe he could run away with her… No. Impossible. Maybe he could drive her to his folks’ place. No, even worse. This couldn’t be happening…not this soon. Not this way. And it was a hundred percent his fault too, for inviting her to that party right under the goddamn deputy’s nose. Idiot. Head foggy with guilt and fear and selfish anger over losing her, he aimed them toward the first of a dozen rural routes that would take them back to Billings, take this woman out of his life forever.

Jesus, that sky. Sarah drank it in, all that blue, and tried to fill her brain and overdose on it and never wake back up to face reality.

The reality was, she was in love with Russ. Twenty-seven and in love for the first time, yet it felt like a curse. Such a wonderful gift under other circumstances, but here and now it was unbearably heavy, a burden. A gift she’d done nothing to deserve, and how poetic that it should be taken away like this. How cruel that if Russ really did feel that way for her, now he was feeling the same pain. Once again, something she was stealing from him. She might one day go to jail for manslaughter, but if there was a hell she’d surely be checking in as a thief.

Coward
. Selfish as well. So the opposite of what Russ deserved. She stole a glance at him and it stung. How did that quote go?
Better to have loved and lost…
Bullshit. At this moment, she wished she’d never met him. She wished she’d left her phone at home that last night in Buffalo, and that she was still there now. Still trapped in her big concrete pen and in her unremarkable life, Russ still hundreds of miles away, safe. Better her free and him lonely than both of them forced to say goodbye this way.

Twice he’d be losing a woman he loved. She considered what he’d said about losing his wife, and how unfair it felt to him, how angry it made him. Was this less fair, she wondered? His wife had been taken away by chance. Sarah was being taken away, and she couldn’t blame it on her former friend or that horrible man. Perhaps an accident had taken away her freedom, but what she had with Russ, she was the one taking that away, letting her fear dictate her decision and choosing to wreck any chance at a future she might have with this extraordinary man. Fear of imprisonment and fear that he wouldn’t want her when she might one day be released… Her mother had been a frightened person, and she’d always chosen to hide, in drugs and inside her own head. Sarah had grown into such a similar woman, frightened and desperate, and not only was she hiding, she was running as well. Surviving was no way to live. Surviving was merely existing, and Sarah didn’t want that, anymore. She wanted to thrive, the way she’d felt this past glorious week with Russ.

“Russ.”

He swallowed but didn’t reply.

“Russ.”

He met her eyes with his fearful ones. “You forget something?”

She shook her head and Russ looked back to the road.

“I want you to take me to the station.” Her voice sounded far away to her own ears, disembodied.

“I am.”

“No, Russ, the sheriff’s station.”

She watched his face as the needle in his brain scratched all the way across its record, his thoughts surely feeling as scrambled as hers had before she’d committed to this decision. He slowed the truck and pulled onto the overgrown shoulder. “What?”

She looked him dead in the eyes. “I want to turn myself in.”

“You said that scared you worse than anything. That it wasn’t an option.”

“It does scare me. It terrifies me. But how long can I run for, before this happens again? I mean…” She trailed off then took a mighty breath, composing herself. “I can survive prison, if I know I might get to see you again on the other side.”

“You’ve got no idea what your sentence is, though.”

She shook her head. “I have no idea about anything anymore, except that I fell in love with a good man out here, and if I do the right thing now I’ll have some chance of seeing him again someday. If he stills wants me.”

Russ’s features shifted, face overcome by pain at what she’d said. He leaned forward to touch her jaw, kissing her hard and quick. “He will.”

“Then I want to go to the station, please.”

Russ breathed deeply for a few minutes, and she let him battle with his thoughts, just as she’d done.

“I’m sure, Russ.”

He sighed, blank gaze fixed on the steering wheel.

“This is what I want. I’m done running.”

He closed his eyes through another deep breath then leaned back in his seat. “Okay. We can go to the station, if you’re
sure
that’s what you want.”

“It is, thank you.”

Russ opened his eyes and seemed to steady himself. He made a U-turn and aimed them toward town.

Sarah watched the faded greens and tans of the autumn countryside stream past, mourning these sights. Mourning the proximity of Russ’s body. She let her eyes drink in the hugeness of the sky, rolled down her window to swallow gulps of the cool air to ease the tightness of her throat. She hated this sensation. Her claustrophobia was kicking in already, invisible hands wringing her neck. This was how he’d see her for the last time in who knew how long…hyperventilating and mottled with hives. But if there was some chance she’d be able to see him one day as a truly free woman, she’d swallow her pride and fight through her worst fears to claim it.

Far too quickly, the town’s church spire appeared beyond the trees. She glanced at Russ, his eyes glued to the road. She reached out and touched him, rubbing his side through his shirt. She caught his nostrils flare and wondered if he might be as close to tears as she was.

“Don’t be sad,” she said.

“I’m gonna feel like such a shit, leaving you in there.”

“You’re a good man, Russ. You’ve done so much more for me than I ever deserved… Now I’m going to do right by you. If we’re supposed to see each other again, it’ll be when things are fixed. Or as fixed as I can make them.”

Russ didn’t reply, just turned them onto the main street, truck slowing noticeably as they neared their destination. He parked on the street a block from the sheriff’s station but Sarah cut him off before he could tempt her into changing her mind.

“I’m sure, Russ. Let’s go.”

He took a deep breath and drove them into the small lot, seeming to park as far from the cruiser as possible. Russ’s phone buzzed but he ignored it.

“So,” he said.

This is goodbye.
“Yeah, so.”

“I can come in with you.”

She shook her head. “I don’t want you to see me when they do whatever they do. And I don’t want you saying the wrong thing and implicating yourself. I want you to go home, and if they ask you what happened, say I came back and asked you to please drive me to the station. Okay?”

With what looked like a painful effort, Russ nodded. “Here…” He dug in his wallet and came out with a business card. “In case there’s bail or however that works. Or if you need anything. For me to find you a lawyer. Anything. Or for when you have a chance to make a phone call, for whatever reason.”

She smiled as genuinely as she could and tucked it in her wallet. “Right. Well.”

“I’ll um… I’ll hang on to your things. For whenever you’re ready to get them.”

She nodded, not wanting to ponder how long that might be. She pictured her new clothes and shoes stacked neatly in that dark room, collecting dust after Russ shut the door on yet another chance at happiness.

He undid his seatbelt and opened his door, meeting her as she hopped down from the truck. His hug was fierce and comforting, as warm and strong as she needed it to be just now.

“I’ll miss you,” she whispered.

“Me too. I love you.”

She laughed against his shoulder, needing to be brave. “You’ve got awful taste in women…but I love you too. You take care of yourself.” She felt him nod. As she let him go, the cold enveloped her and the unseen hands closed tight around her throat once more. She touched his still-stubbly face, took in those green-gray eyes one last time.

He rubbed her arms, mustering a weak smile. “I’ll be a wreck until I know what’s happening. Call me as soon as you can.”

“I will. Maybe I’ll see you in court. Who knows.”

He nodded, and Sarah found the ability to move, walking backward toward the station, watching him grow farther and farther away. As she reached the steps she mouthed, “I love you,” and pulled the door open. Russ put his fingers to his lips and held them up, then tucked his hands in his pockets as she disappeared inside the tiny building.

The office was empty, and she took a deep breath, glancing around. A few wanted posters were hung on the wall, none of them hers, though the ones featuring mug shots filled her gut with ice water. Then, with a feeling of the oddest relief, she stepped to the desk and tapped the silver bell.

She heard a filing cabinet roll shut, and a rotund man with a gray mustache whom she hadn’t met at the party appeared from a side room. He did a double take. “Sarah?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I’m Sarah Novak. Your deputy’s looking for me.”

“Yes, indeed he is. He just went up to Russ Gray’s place to collect you.” In a gesture that shocked her, the sheriff leaned over the cluttered desk to offer his hand. Dumbstruck, she shook it.

“I’m Sheriff Walters. Have a seat.” He waved at a desk chair a few feet away, and she rolled it closer, trying to look obedient and harmless and deserving of a minimum sentence.