Trial by Fire (38 page)

“Kat told you Frank revealed that you’re . . . my real father.” There. Now the issue was on the table.

“Yeah. She’s a special lady, your Katherine.”

“Yes, she is. Don’t change the subject.”

“Wasn’t going to.” His father blew out a harsh breath, swiping a hand down his face. He looked like he’d aged a decade since his son almost died.

“Start at the beginning. Please,” he amended, softening his tone. He didn’t want Bentley—Dad—to believe he harbored any anger or blame.

“All right.” Settling back in his chair, he crossed his arms over his broad chest, a faraway look in his eyes. “I was intimate with Liz once, before I met Georgie. Only once. I had no idea Liz was married. When I saw her in Sugarland ten months later carrying an infant, I was stunned.”

Howard could imagine. “Did you confront her?”

“Of course I did. She was clearly terrified, kept looking around to see who might overhear. That’s when she told me she was married to Frank Whitlaw. Hell, everyone knew that sorry, drunken asshole. Always stirring up trouble, mean as the devil. But nobody knew his wife because he kept her at home on a tight leash most of the time.”

“I remember.” The sadness behind her pretty smile. The deep cuts and bruises. But he didn’t say this to his father. The man carried enough guilt already over not realizing the extent of his mother’s horrible situation at home.

“When I demanded to know if you were mine, her fear was a palpable thing. She begged me to drop the matter. Pleaded. She never admitted you were mine, and I understood she couldn’t without incurring Whitlaw’s wrath. In the end, I agreed to stay away because it seemed to bring her peace.”

“You didn’t know how bad things were for us.”

“No, I swear,” he said sadly. “As God is my witness. I wasn’t in love with her, nor she with me. She came to town one night, a rare reprieve, she said, though I didn’t know from what at the time. We were lonely and spent a few hours together, then parted ways. But if I’d suspected that monster was brutalizing my son, he’d have been buried in that garden instead of your mother.”

This explained so much of Frank’s cruel torture, his hatred. He’d known of Liz’s betrayal, that Howard wasn’t his, and it drove him over the edge. From meanness to active, wicked cruelty, to something far more evil.

“She loved you madly,” his father went on. “The few times I saw her bring you to town in those five years, anyone could see how she doted on you. I should’ve known she’d never leave town and not take you with her. But the authorities claimed she’d split and couldn’t be found, so I dropped it.”

And I loved her. She was my whole world.

Howard fought back a wave of sorrow. “Now we know she didn’t. Strange, but knowing what really happened makes the hurt less. Is that wrong?”

“No, son.” Bentley shook his head. “It’s only natural for you to feel a certain release in knowing your mother didn’t abandon you to be beaten half to death by Whitlaw. She was going to leave him and escape with you, and she got caught.”

Now for the tough stuff. The main question burning a hole in his heart. “Why didn’t you tell me you’re my father? Why?”

Bentley’s face paled. “I don’t have excuses, but I had some valid reasons in the beginning. Do you remember how you came to me and Georgie? You were frightened. You didn’t speak. You trusted no one, and had nightmares for years. We thought we’d never reach you, and by the time we finally did there was no way I’d risk harming your progress in any way. Your world had already been shattered once. I thought I’d tell you . . . someday. Then someday came and went. What was the point in dredging it all up later?”

Oh, there was more. So much more to his father’s reasoning than he’d admit. So Howard did it for him. “You thought I’d blame you for the years I suffered with Whitlaw. That you’d lose me if I found out.” He hesitated, then laid bare the real issue.

“You believed I didn’t love you like a son ought to love his father.”

“God help me.” Bentley’s chin dropped to his chest. “Can you ever forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive . . . Dad.” Swallowing hard, he opened his arms. “I love you. Always have.”

With a hoarse sob, his father returned his embrace. Carefully, though, so as not to hurt his son. Howard hung on to his own emotions by a slim thread. He hadn’t known it, but he’d been waiting for this moment his entire life.

“Say, do you think Georgie would mind too much if I call her Mom?”

Giving a watery laugh, his dad straightened, wiping at his eyes.

“Son, I think that would make her just about the happiest woman in the world.”

Howard smiled, unable to squelch a spurt of smug, manly satisfaction. “Except for Kat, of course. I’m going to ask her to marry me.”

Bentley tried to pull a somber face and failed. “There will be no living with them now.”

“But it’ll be fun to try, huh?”

“Most of the time.” His father laughed, arched a brow. “But you might want to hide that fishing pole.”

The day of Liz Whitlaw’s funeral dawned sunny and mild for late December. Exactly the kind of day his mother would’ve loved, Howard said wistfully that morning as they’d dressed in Kat’s apartment.

Six weeks after the shooting that had nearly killed him, Howard stood tall and breathtaking in his dark suit. Sunlight glinted off his spiky sable hair, which had regained its healthy shine. His skin was no longer pale, and his cheeks had filled out from the weight he regained after losing so much while in the hospital.

His recovery had been slow and painful, yet through sheer determination and hard work, he was regaining strength. Bentley and his friends had been forced to bribe, plead, and finally threaten him to make him stay home another two weeks.

In January, he’d rejoin A-shift. Kat had never known a more amazing, incredible man.

Beside her, Howard thanked the last of the small gathering as they departed the cemetery. His parents had already said their good-byes after hugging the stuffing out of him. His friends had come to support him, and as grateful as he’d been for that, she could tell how tired and glad he was to have this day over. To find closure at last.

Yet in six weeks, he still hadn’t shed a tear over the death of his mother. Even today, of all days. Kat was more than a little worried about him.

“The service was lovely,” she said, taking his hand.

He nodded, squeezing her fingers. “Yeah, it was. I’m glad I gave her back the silver cross. She used to wear it every day.”

Her wedding ring, he’d put away without a word.

He stared at the white casket not yet lowered into the ground. Tentatively, he reached out, laid his free hand on top of the smooth surface, brushing it with his thumb.

“She never left me,” he whispered, repeating the stark, heartbroken words he’d uttered in the hospital six weeks ago. His mouth trembled. “She never left me, Kat. She was all alone, abandoned in the ground all those years, and I thought . . . I believed the worst of her. . . .”

His big body shuddered, and she thought,
Here it comes. The breaking of the dam.
She moved to stand in front of him.

“No, baby. Look inside your heart and you’ll find you never really believed your mother would’ve done that to you. Not for one second.”

“I . . .” His face crumpled. “Oh, God.”

Wrapping her in his arms, Howard crushed her against his chest. He began to shake all over.

And the dam broke. A sob tore from his throat, and another. The flood came and he cried as she’d never seen a man cry before. A great torrent of grief cleansing his soul. As much as his pain tore her apart, he needed to get it out. This day had been more than thirty years coming. He was due.

He continued to cling to her long after he’d quieted. He silently asked for her strength, her reassurance, and she readily gave. Anything for him to finally be at peace.

“Honey, are you all right?” She rubbed his back, loving his heat pressed against her.

“You know, I am.” He kissed the top of her head. “Better than all right for the first time ever. Ready to go?”

“You bet.” Turning, he kissed his fingers, then pressed them to the casket. “I love you, Mom. Good-bye for now.”

Hand in hand, they walked to his truck. Kat observed him from the corner of her eye. He seemed lighter. More relaxed than he’d ever been.

When they arrived at her apartment, Howard stripped off his coat and tie with relish, tossing both into a corner of her bedroom. Next he unbuttoned his white dress shirt, yanking the tails out of his pants. “Jeez, that feels good.”

Naked would be better, but saying so right now hardly seemed appropriate. Instead, she kicked off her evil heels. “Does it ever.” She moaned, wiggling her toes.

Flopping onto the bed, he patted the covers. “Come lie down with me for a while.”

“With pleasure.” Without bothering to remove her dress, she snuggled in, pillowing her head on his shoulder as his arms went around her.

“I’ve been thinking this place is pretty small for a guy like me,” he began, his tone casual. “I take up a lot of space.”

“You won’t be stuck here for long. The carpenters will be finished fixing your house soon and you can go home.” Hardly daring to breathe, she left the statement hanging. In the hospital, he’d asked her to stay with him forever. Had he changed his mind?

“Yeah, but the deal is, after what happened . . . I don’t want to go back there. I’m afraid the taint of Whitlaw would always hang over us there.”

“Us?”

“Look at me, sweetheart.” He tipped her chin up, gazing down at her through his lashes. “I need you with me wherever I go. In my life, at my side. I’ve decided to put my house up for sale. What do you say we look for a new home? Our home, together. Here in Sugarland, or close by so we can both keep our jobs.”

“Y-you want us to live together? Permanently?” Her heart pounded. She wanted so much more.

He gave her a beautiful, dazzling smile. Took a shaky breath. “Katherine McKenna, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

“Oh,” she squeaked. “Oh, God. Yes! Yes, yes, yes!”

Pouncing, she hiked her dress and straddled his hips. She took his face in her hands, peppering him with kisses. Nipping and teasing. His booming laughter rang out under her assault until the sound dissolved to a raspy wheeze. Contrite, she drew back. “Oh, gosh! Did I hurt you?”

“No,” he gasped. “I prefer this to the fishing pole.”

“Funny guy.” Relieved, she captured his mouth in a slow, sensual kiss, careful not to jostle him.

“Angel?”

“Hmm?” Her fingers parted his shirt and began a thorough investigation of his muscular chest.

“We’ll go shopping for an engagement ring tomorrow. ”

Yessss!
her inner female shouted with glee. Howard Paxton was all hers. Instead, she murmured into his lips, “I don’t need a ring. All I need is you.”

He chuckled. “Liar. You know you want a big fat one.”

Busted. “One that’ll set your savings back into the Dark Ages.” She tickled a taut male nipple with her tongue.

“You got it, sweetheart,” he agreed, voice drugged with desire.

Encouraged, she scooted back. Reached for his zipper. “Diamonds aren’t the only thing I prefer extra large, Lieutenant. Are you too tired to celebrate properly?”

“Oh, it takes a lot to bring a big guy down.” He flashed a wicked grin. “See?”

She freed his long, thick erection and wrapped her fingers around the hot shaft. His moan of pleasure was sweet music.

“I most certainly do.” She helped him off with his pants and boxers, then quickly undressed. “I want to ride you.”

“
Please.
Do me, babe.”

Straddling him once more, she guided the head of his cock to her moist opening. Needing him so much, this man who would be her husband. Sharing more than sex. A true joining between a man and his woman.

Bracing her hands on his chest, she impaled herself on him. Seated him deeply, fully inside.

“Ahhh, yeah. Ride me, sweet angel.”

Leaning forward the slightest bit, she pumped his shaft. In and out, their slick heat melding together, creating sparks of fire. Building higher to lick at them both. Slow and delicious, her clit stroking his length. Driving them mad.

When Howard couldn’t take any more, he rolled her onto her back without ever leaving her sheath. He moved his hips in perfect rhythm with hers, unhurried. Soaring with her, kissing her deeply and with heartfelt passion. This was different from the scalding sexual heat they’d shared before. More complete. More everything.

No doubts, no questions left between them.

This was making love.

They reached the summit together and he spilled into her, burying his hands in her hair, whispering, “I love you so much. God, I love you.” Again and again, this moment etched in her soul forever.

“And I love you.” She buried her face in his neck, inhaling his scent, drinking him in.

Propping up on his elbows, Howard gazed down at her with those gorgeous brown eyes she could drown in.

“I’m yours, for always.”

“Promise?” She traced his sexy lips with one finger.

“Even better, angel. I’ll show you.”

He did. Holding her close, Howard began to move inside her. Taking his lady to new heights, making good on his vow.