Tris & Izzie (10 page)

Well, I was just going to have to learn to save myself, wasn't I?

M
om tried to talk to me that night about Tristan, about Curvenal, about Dad, but I just shook my head and walked out of the room. I was finished listening to her, finished with her potions. I didn't even take the invincibility potion to school the next day. It was part of all the stuff I wanted to leave behind. I thought that if I locked down my magic hard enough and threw away the key, I'd be safe from Gurmun and everything else that was magical.

I wore Mark's varsity basketball sweatshirt, more as a statement to myself than anything. I didn't see Branna on the bus, and I wondered why she wasn't there.

When I got to school, I saw Mark in the pit and hurried toward him. It was only after I reached him that I noticed Branna there, along with Mel Melot. She was standing close to him—too close.

I had never gotten around to telling Mark to exile Mel. The day I'd meant to had been when Tristan first came and everything went crazy with the slurg.

“Izzie,” said Branna, nodding to me.

“What's going on?” I asked.

Mel tilted his head to the side, and I watched in astonish-ment as Branna kissed him on the lips. “Oh, baby,” said Mel, snuggling up to her.

I rolled my eyes and thought,
Seriously, do people still say that? Oh, baby?

I was sure Branna would smack him or tell him how disgusting he was. After all, she was the one who had told me about him preying on freshman girls. And he had said he would get his revenge on both of us. But Branna didn't pull away from him.

“So, about Tristan …,” I started, trying to think about something other than Mel and Branna making out.

“I think he's still in the hospital,” said Mark.

“No,” said Branna, pulling her mouth away from Mel. “He got out.”

“How do you know that?” I asked, surprised.

She glanced at me. “I checked on him. Just wanted to make sure that he was okay. Wasn't that what you wanted me to do, since you couldn't do it yourself?” she said. Was she trying to be best friends still?

If I hadn't been so mad at her, I would have felt sorry for her. Wasn't she the one who had said that she wouldn't try to manipulate someone into loving her, that she was going to wait for true love? I guess the waiting time was over.

“So did you see him?” I asked Branna. “Tristan?” Did she know that he was from magical Curvenal? Did she know that I had told him to get lost?

“No, I was just saying that I knew he got out of the hos-pital. Have
you
seen him?”

“No,” I lied. If Tristan and my mom could do it, why not me?

“Well, he didn't come on the bus,” said Rick Gawain. “So he must have decided to stay at home.”

“Good,” I said.

“What?” asked Mark.

“I mean, I think that was a wise choice for him. He almost died. He shouldn't try to come right back to school.”

“Too bad,” said Mark. “I was getting used to him being around.”

“I'm sure he'll come back,” said Branna. “He was getting used to being around, too. Wasn't he, Izzie?”

What was with her?

“I don't know,” I said. “He was new here. Maybe he'll want to go back to his old school. With all this trauma, who could blame him?”

“But Parmenie?” said Mark with a laugh. “Come on. Tristan doesn't belong there. He belongs with us.”

“You've never been to Parmenie, Mark,” I said. “Maybe Tristan does belong there.”

Mark's eyes opened wide, like I had never contradicted him before. Maybe I hadn't. I was still feeling confused about how I felt for him.

“I don't know. Tristan was pretty attached to you,” said Branna.

“No,” I said. “He wasn't.”

“Gotta go,” said Mel. He reached for Branna, and she gave him a kiss.

“What a lucky guy,” said Mark as Mel moved off to class.

Branna glanced at me with a flash of triumph in her eyes.

“Yeah,” I said.

Mark leaned in to kiss me, too, but I turned my face to the side so his lips landed on my ear. Touching him still made me wince, but I told myself I was just going to have to get used to it. Tristan was not around anymore, and everything was going to go back to normal, even if I had to force it that way.

“I'm going to treat you like a queen now,” he said. “I realize what I might have lost there.”

“Yeah,” I said. “Me, too.”

“I have questions to ask you. About the future. About your past. So prepare for a long conversation.”

That was not what I wanted. At all. But postponing it seemed like the best I could manage right now.

“Later,” I said. I waved at him and then motioned to Branna. “I need a girl talk now. You don't mind, do you, Mark?”

Mark's face flushed as he looked at Branna. Bad sign, I thought. Bad, bad sign.

Then he turned back to me. “Sure,” he said. “See you later.”

As soon as he started to move away, I grabbed Branna's arm none too gently and pulled her over to the lockers on the west side of the commons.

“Don't try to tell me that Mel is the guy you've been pining after, Branna,” I said in a low tone. “You're not in love with him, and you never have been.”

“And you are the expert on love, I suppose,” Branna said sarcastically. “Having been through it so many times in your life.”

Arguing with Branna felt wrong. We had disagreed from time to time in the past, but we respected each other's opinions, and we'd never had catfights.

“So, are you going to be at lunch today?” she asked me, sounding cold.

“I think so. Why?” Why would I not be at lunch today?

“Just making sure,” she said. “There might be something important going on then.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Mel Melot,” said Branna.

“Huh?”

“You know, I think I've figured Mel out, and he's not as bad as I thought. In fact, it turns out he's more open about what he does than certain other people I could name.”

So now she was comparing me unfavorably to Mel Melot? When had I used my magic to make other people—well, except for that one time with the love potion. And then I had been trying to help.

“Fine. I'll be there if you want me to.” I said.

She rolled her eyes.

“Hey, what does that mean?”

She said nothing.

“Branna, are you mad at me?”

“You think? How long did it take you to figure that out?” said Branna.

Ouch. “Okay, so is this about Mark? You want me to break up with him so you can have him, right?”

“He isn't right for you,” she said.

“You mean because he's right for you?” There it was, out in the open.

Branna folded her arms across her chest. “Yes, he is. He's perfect for me. He's never been right for you. But you could never see it.”

“How long has this been going on?”

“Does it matter?” Branna asked.

“It matters to me. I want to know how long you have been lying to me.” Like everyone else.

“Fine. If you want to know the truth, I loved him before you ever hooked up with him. I loved him since we were freshmen. You didn't even notice who he was. I did.”

“So you deserve him because you saw him first?” I asked.

“That's not what this is about.”

“Then what? You could have said something before we got serious. I don't see how you can blame me.” Surely, it was her fault as much as it was mine. She was the one who had kept her mouth shut instead of fighting for the guy she loved, even if I didn't think he would have picked her over me.

“Really? You went out with him once, and you were suddenly inseparable. I think you used the word ‘boyfriend' before you even went out with him. What was I supposed to do? Make you pity me into breaking up with him?”

“No—I—Branna, I didn't know.” I didn't pity her, did I?

Branna threw up her hands. “Of course you didn't know. You didn't want to know. And you could not imagine me having the audacity to fall in love with your boyfriend. You thought me so much below you that I could never even look up that high.” She sounded fierce, and I knew that she had been angry at me for a long time.

“That isn't what it was like,” I said.

“Then why did you never guess? If you knew me so well, if I was really your best friend, wouldn't you have been able to figure it out?”

It was a question I had no answer to. “I'm sorry, Branna.”

“And so now you'll give him up to me?” she asked.

I still wasn't ready to do that. “Even if I did break up with him, that wouldn't mean he would fall in love with you.” Mark wasn't a prize to give away. He was a person, with his own ideas, his own thoughts, his own feelings— for me.

Branna nodded. “I know that. But you could offer me some help.”

“What, now you want magic?”

Branna shrugged.

I sighed. “Branna, magic isn't what it's cracked up to be. There are complications. Dangerous ones.” I wished Branna had seen the slurg.

“Yeah. I knew you would make up an excuse.”

“Really, Branna, if I told you what might happen if I used magic again …”

She stared at me. “You made Tristan fall in love with you. Even though you already had Mark. Didn't you?”

“It's not what it sounds like. I was trying to help you, Branna. I was.”

She snorted. “Right.”

“It was supposed to be for you. The love philtre.”

“You were going to make me fall in love with Tristan so I wasn't in love with Mark? Thank you very much.”

“No. I didn't know then. I didn't realize—Branna, I was trying to help, and then it all got messed up.”

“Funny how it got messed up in a way that left you the center of the love triangle. Two hot guys fighting over you.”

“They aren't fighting over me,” I argued. I had always thought love triangles were lame. Girls who refused to choose between two good guys were the worst scum of the earth. And I didn't much like guys who let themselves be jerked around, either. But this was different.

“And me with no one,” said Branna, “except Mel.”

Well, now I understood why she was using Mel. She wanted to hurt me. She was going low enough that she couldn't avoid it. Only I wondered if she was going to end up hurt more.

She had every right to be mad at me. I could see now that I had been a lousy friend for a long time. It was amazing she had lasted this long without scratching my eyes out. But that didn't mean I was going to try another love philtre. I might not know much about magic, but I had learned something.

“I really don't think using magic or jealousy to get Mark is the right way,” I said.

“Advice from one who has already seen love magic go bad?” she asked.

I winced.

“Then I won't ask you to do that. Just meet me in the cafeteria at lunch. I think I deserve that much.”

Branna deserved more than that. But I wasn't about to give up my only hope of happiness, of a normal life, with Mark. Not even for Branna.

I told her I would meet her at lunch.

T
hree hours later, Mel was kissing Branna at our regular lunch table. I sat with Mark while we tried to ignore them. Mark picked at his burrito supreme with Tater Tots on the side, both of them smothered in slimy-looking green salsa. The rest of the posse had finished and left.

Branna pulled away from Mel and stood up. She held a vial in one hand, and that hand was shaking.

“What would you say if I told you this was magic?” she asked, turning from me to Mark.

“Ha. Funny,” said Mark.

“Izzie doesn't think it's funny, does she? Izzie believes in magic. Right, Izzie?” “Uh, well …,” I said. “Izzie's mom makes her own magic potions to help people in her ambulance. That's why Izzie insisted you call her mom's ambulance when she and Tristan were attacked by that dog.”

“Seriously?” said Mark.

“It isn't like that,” I said. Branna was outing me? I should have known that was why she wanted me in the lunchroom. But staying away wouldn't have helped, either, if Branna was determined. At least I could refute her, sort of.

“Then what is it like? Do you have some other explanation of why you wanted your mom's ambulance? She shouldn't have come for a relative, you know,” said Branna.

“But my mom—” I didn't know how to finish without mentioning magic.

“Branna,” said Mark. “This isn't funny.”

“No, it isn't,” said Branna. She motioned to Mel, and he rummaged in his backpack.

Mel looked around to make sure there weren't any lunch-room monitors looking our way, then pulled out another wine bottle, this one with different writing on it, but just as old-looking. He held it out to Branna.

“This is magic, too. Try it out,” she said to Mark. “No matter how much you drink out of it, it will never go empty. Mel's parents don't know how to use magic themselves, but they have friends who do.” She handed the bottle to Mark.

“And they are rich enough to buy whatever they want, even magic,” she added, looking slyly at me.

I guessed that explained how they had gotten another ever-full wine bottle so quickly.

Mark lifted the bottle, and I thought, This is the end. This really is the end of us. “Looks like a regular bottle of wine,” he said.

“It's not,” said Mel smugly.

“So I'm supposed to drink this? Is this some kind of trick to get me in trouble?”

“I'll drink it if you like,” said Mel.

“No, you won't,” said Branna firmly. She nodded to Mark. “Go on, drink it. Drink as much as you can. You'll see.”

Mark held up the bottle and took a sip. He made a face. “Cheap wine,” he said.

“I never said the wine was good,” said Mel.

Mark looked at me. “Do you believe in magic?” he asked.

When he said it straight out like that, I found I couldn't lie. “Mark—it's not what you think,” I said.

Branna snorted. “Right. It's worse than you think. She's been hiding this from you all along, Mark. Lying to you.”

Mark looked at me again, and I didn't know what to say. He raised the wine bottle again.

I shook my head. “Don't,” I said.

But then he looked at Branna. And that said it all, didn't it?

“Go on,” she said.

So he drank. And drank some more. Then stared at the bottle and shook it. “Magic is real,” he said in a hoarse whisper.

I stared at him. All this time, I'd been worrying about his reaction to my family's magic, but Mark was stronger than I had thought. He would have accepted it. He would have accepted all of me. But I hadn't really trusted him. I hadn't known him at all, just like I hadn't known Branna.

I looked at Branna.

She didn't look particularly triumphant, just determined. She held up the vial. “And this,” she said, “is a truth serum. It only takes a drop, but for an hour afterward, whatever question is asked will be answered absolutely truthfully.”

A truth serum? So Branna hadn't been using Mel just to make Mark jealous. She'd also wanted to get his magic.

“That would be interesting,” said Mark.

“Wouldn't it?” said Branna.

Mark and Branna were looking at each other like I wasn't there. “What questions do you think you would ask,” said Branna, “of me or of Izzie, if you could ask us anything you wanted?”

“I don't know,” said Mark.

My only hope now was that the truth serum was a fake. It was a slim hope, though.

“Anything at all,” Branna said slowly, exaggerating every word. Mark was watching intently.

“I dare you, Izzie,” said Branna. And before I could say another word, she popped the cork off the vial. She put out her tongue and let one drop fall. The bottle didn't look like it had many drops left in it. I wondered who else Mel's family had used it on.

My eyes flickered to Mel. He had said he wanted revenge on us, and now he had it. What was more, he had Branna's help—and mine.

“Are you afraid of the truth, Izzie?” asked Branna. Her tone had changed, had become sort of sleepy.

“Are you?” added Mel.

“No,” I said.

“Then why don't you take a drop?” asked Mel, coming closer. He took the vial out of Branna's hands and offered it to me.

Branna's arms were making a flying motion. Mel pushed her down, and she sat with a flop right next to Mark. She leaned toward him and nuzzled him.

“Hey,” he said. “I'm Mark. Not Mel.”

“I know who you are,” murmured Branna.

“Your girlfriend is hiding something,” said Mel to Mark. “Don't you want to know what it is?”

Mark hesitated, licked his lips, and glanced at me.

I took a deep breath. “Do you want me to do this?” I asked.

“I don't care. It's up to you. I don't tell you what to do,” he said.

“But do you want to know the truth?”

Mark hesitated for a long moment. Then he gritted his teeth. “I'm not afraid of it,” he said. “Not now. Not ever.”

So I opened my mouth and let Mel put a drop of truth serum on my tongue.

It tasted like grass and roses. Then I felt this terrible desire to sneeze, but I was too tired to let the sneeze go. I felt the itching-sneezing sensation fall down my throat and into my heart, where it jumped around a bit. It wasn't a pleasant sensation, but at least it didn't hurt. After the serum had settled into me, I felt like I was too heavy to move, and I could feel my body sag forward onto the table.

“Do you love Mark?” was the first question I heard. I honestly wasn't sure who was asking it. It might have been Mel. It might have been Mark.

“Yes,” I said.

“Do you love Tristan?” was the next question. I'm pretty sure it was Mel.

“Yes,” I said.

There was an argument then that I only partly remember. I think Mark said that I could mean anything. I could love him as a friend, or as a brother.

“Do you love Tristan as a brother?” Mel again.

“No,” I said.

“Do you love him as a friend?”

“No. I hate him.”

Now Mark was crowing, happy that he had proved his point. But Mel wasn't done.

“You love him and hate him?” asked Mel.

“Yes.”

“You burn for him?” asked Mel.

“Yes,” I whispered.

“And Mark? Do you burn for Mark?”

I shook my head. “Mark is cool. Safe,” I said.

“What's wrong with that?” said Mark, cutting in on Mel's questioning.

More argument.

Then another question from Mel: “Would you die for love of Mark?”

“No. Don't think so,” I said. It was getting harder and harder to talk, to get words out, but the truth serum made me want to push them out, like bubbles rising to the surface.

“And for Tristan? Would you die for him?”

“Don't want to,” I said.

“But would you? If he needed you?”

“Yes.” I slowly put a hand over my mouth, as if to hold the word back. But it was too late.

I thought I heard Mel congratulating himself. Mark said nothing.

I couldn't move, couldn't speak. I could only listen to the rest of the interrogation.

“And now Branna,” said Mel.

Had Branna planned it this way, or was Mel just taking it to the logical conclusion? Either way, I could not deny that she was gutsy. Talk about putting yourself on the line.

“Branna, do you love Mark?” Mel asked.

“Yes,” said Branna.

“Do you love Tristan?”

“No.”

“Do you love me, Mel?”

Branna giggled, a stupid grin on her face. “No.” She shook her head slowly.

Mel didn't seem too disappointed. I guess he knew what was going on and had just enjoyed himself while it lasted. “Do you love Rick or Will?” he asked next.

“No.” Branna sighed and lolled back against Mark. He was staring at her, but he wasn't pushing her away.

“Do you love Izzie?” asked Mel.

“Sometimes. Sometimes I hate her,” said Branna.

“And why is that?”

“She has Mark. She has him and I don't, and he doesn't see me. Most of the time. Although I think he might now.”

“Would you die for Mark?” asked Mel.

“In a second,” said Branna. “When can I? Where? How?” She lifted her head and looked around, her eyes bright even in her stupor.

“And do you care what Mark feels about you?”

“I care,” said Branna. “Can't make him love me. Know that. But I can try. Have to try. Can't give up. Even if humiliating.”

I could feel tears on my face for Branna.

“The truth serum is not a fake, Mark. You have to know that,” said Mel.

“You knew she was in love with me? And you were kissing her like that anyway? What kind of a guy are you?” That was Mark.

I think he shoved Mel, but Mel didn't fight back. “Hey, I don't have a girlfriend,” he said. “And she didn't have a boy-friend, either. So there was nothing morally wrong with me kissing her.”

Were they going to beat each other up? I didn't care. The whole world felt distant and untouchable.

“There is when you know she's in love with someone else,” said Mark.

“You weren't doing anything about it. She asked me to help her and I did. What's wrong with that?”

I heard more pushing and then a shattering sound.

“Do you have any idea what that's worth?” Mel shouted.

“Do you have any idea what a jerk you are?”

So Mark finally knew the truth about Mel. Mel would be exiled, but he probably didn't care about that. He had what he wanted.

“She asked me to help her get your attention. It's not my fault that she had to work so hard for it,” Mel sneered.

“You took advantage of her,” said Mark. “She was hurting, and you were enjoying it. In my book, that makes you a slimeball. Get out of here!”

Mel put up his hands and backed away. “Fine. That doesn't change the truth.”

Mark looked at me and Branna.

I giggled. I felt very relaxed, an inch away from sleep.

“What am I going to do with you two?” said Mark. “I can't take you to the nurse. She'll think you're on drugs.”

I couldn't find it in my heart to care about that. “Didn't mean to hurt you, Mark,” I said.

“I know.” He kissed me on my forehead. It felt just the same as before.

But then he looked at Branna. “Do you burn for me?” he asked.

“A volcano,” said Branna sleepily.

Mark looked back and forth between us. “Now I know the truth,” he said. “And I have to decide what to do about it.”

“Magic,” I whispered. “Real magic.”

“That, too,” said Mark.

And I fell asleep.