True Loves (A Collection of Firsts) (15 page)

Riff tilts his head. “You have all the power here. Noel screwed you over just like he did to me. That’s just who he is. But you have the power to do what’s best for you and get the hell away from him. I would if I could, but I’m kind of stuck here.”

I snort. “I know the feeling.”

“Ah, yes, the job—I almost forgot about that. Well, I guess you and I are both screwed.”

I turn toward him. “You mean you’d leave the band if you could?”

Riff nods while keeping his brown eyes set on me as though he’s waiting for me to put together the pieces of a puzzle. “In a heartbeat. I can hardly look at the guy without wanting to kick his ass. But this band is my life. It’s all I’ve ever known. I can’t just walk away, no matter how much I want to.”

“I’ve noticed there’s some tension between you two.”

Riff laughs, but it has a bitter edge. “Yeah, well, when your best friend fucks your woman, you’ll have that.”

My eyes widen. “Noel…”

“Yes,” he answers my unspoken question. “His girlfriend is my ex, Sophie.”

That’s when I bolt to the bathroom before my guts spill all over the bedroom floor.

N
oel’s flight
lands at the Charlotte airport any minute. He’ll be here soon, and I don’t have a fucking clue what I’m going to say to him. As much as I love the idea of using the silent treatment, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop myself from lashing out at him. He needs to know I think he’s a selfish bastard and I hate his guts.

The mouse on my laptop keeps sticking as I research into charities like Black Falcon’s. I have to keep my mind busy. If I allow it, my brain will drive me insane replaying thoughts of Noel and all the other women he’s been with. I didn’t insist he use a condom when we were together because I—stupid me—trusted him. The thought of all the diseases I might now have makes me want to literally murder him.

I readjust in the bed and open a new search page. Mystery Girlfriend has my mind curious. I tossed and turned all night wondering who she is and what she looks like. I open a new search box and carefully type “Noel Falcon’s girlfriend, Sophie” into the box before hitting send. It only takes a couple seconds for the results to pop up, but out of all the links, I don’t see anything about Noel Falcon and a girlfriend.

I tap my chin, and then it occurs to me I can still probably find this girl. I just need a different route. This time I type in “Riff from Black Falcon’s girlfriend, Sophie.”

Bingo.

This time, pages and pages of pictures of Riff and a blonde named Sophie flood my screen. I click on a full-length picture of her. As much as I hate to admit it, she’s beautiful. Long, blond hair cascades down her back. Her legs are incredibly long, and she has a perfect smile. I stare at my modest chest and then back at Sophie’s.

We are exact opposites in every way.

Another thought occurs to me. I’m the other woman. Noel cheated on this gorgeous woman with me. That thought alone keeps me from hating her completely. It’s not her fault Noel is a terrible person, but that doesn’t erase the fact she came between two best friends. She’s still a fucking slut.

“What are you doing?”

My heart bangs against my ribs. Shit! He isn’t supposed to be back yet.

I roll to my side and sit up after I slam my laptop shut. He stands there in his red T-shirt and distressed jeans looking as though he hasn’t slept much. His crazy rocker hair stands in place, with a pair of black sunglasses on his head, with both hands planted on his hips.

How dare he question my actions. “That should be my line.”

Noel flinches. The look on his face gives him away. He knows I know. He steps inside the room and shuts the door. “Lane, you can’t believe the shit you read.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Oh, really? Who should I believe then? You?”

He takes two quick steps and sits next to me. He tries to wrap his arm around my waist, but I shove it off me. “Baby? Please. Let me explain.”

I shake my head. “No. No more lies.”

“I never lied to you.”

“You’re lying to me right now!” I shout. My entire body shakes. So much for being cool and blowing him off. “Were you ever going to tell me about Sophie? Or are your plans to revenge fuck me not complete yet?”

Noel grabs my chin between his thumb and index finger and forces me to look at him. “You’re not just some piece of ass to me. How can you even think that?” My eyes water and I blink out a tear. It rolls down my cheek, and Noel wipes it away with his thumb. Then he cradles my face. “I love you.”

A sob I can no longer hold back escapes. “How can you love me when you have a girlfriend?”

His lips pull into a tight line. “It’s complicated, but it’s not what you think.”

“Then tell me. Tell me why you would say things to me that make me believe I’m your world and not tell me you have someone else.”

He sighs and rests his forehead against mine. “Because I can’t leave her and I can’t lose you.”

I pull away from him and a cold chill runs through me. “Then why drag me into all this? Why not let me work on the campaign from New York? You forced me to come here because you knew I still had feelings for you. You knew this would happen. You had no intentions of leaving your girlfriend, and yet you did it anyway. Riff is right. You are a selfish bastard.”

“Riff? He’s how you found out? I’m going to fucking kill him!” He bounces off the bed.

“Noel!” I reach for him, but he flings open the door and storms down the hallway to Riff’s foxhole before I have the chance to get out of bed.

Noel throws open the curtain and lunges inside. “You fucking told her?”

“You can’t have them both,” Riff yells back. “I won’t let you do that to Sophie.”

I jump off the bed. “Noel, stop!”

In a split second, Noel loses it. He yanks Riff from the bunk and throws him on the hallway floor. Riff starts to stand, but before he gets the chance, Noel’s on him, connecting a hard punch in his face. Riff grunts and grabs Noel into a tight headlock. Noel flings his arms wildly, his fists cracking against Riff’s ribs.

“Stop it!” I yell while standing back. These guys both have a good foot and at least sixty or so pounds on me. There’s no way I can break them up without getting hurt.

Trip and Tyke’s curtains fly back, and they jump out of their bunks. The twins get between the two fighting men and pull them apart. Riff and Noel are still red-faced, determined to get at each other.

“I can’t believe you fucking told her!” Noel shouts while still in Trip’s firm hold. “You need to mind your own damn business.”

Riff laughs harshly. “Me mind my own business? You make it pretty hard to do when you’re fucking my girlfriend behind my back!”

Noel’s mouth drops open. “She came to
me
. I didn’t go after her.”

“And that makes it fucking okay? Jesus, you were my best friend—my brother—and you screwed me over. I’m not going to let you do that to Lanie.”

“I was going to tell her!” Noel shouts with his arms spread.

“When? When were you going to tell her? After Sophie has the baby?”

I fall back against the wall. A baby? Did I just hear that right? Sophie’s
pregnant
? With
Noel’s
baby?

Noel’s body stills and his eyes snap to mine. That’s why he can’t leave her. He fucking knocked her up. I shake my head. No. No fucking way this is happening to me. I am not this person. I don’t get caught up in drama like this.

“Lane?” I hear Noel say my name as I continue to shake my head and back away from him. “Lane, wait!”

I turn and run back to the bedroom to grab my suitcase. I can’t stay. I can’t stomach looking at him a second longer. The drawer flies open, and I grab a handful of my clothes and throw them in the bag. It’s a mangled mess, but a few wrinkles are the least of my problems. The laptop goes in last, and I zip up the suitcase. I freeze when I hear his voice.

“Where are you going?”

Is he a complete idiot? Did he actually think I’d stay once I found out about Sophie? I shake my head and step around him into the bathroom to grab my makeup bag. Being on the road with Noel isn’t anything like I planned.

Noel grabs my arm as I pass back by him. “Aren’t you going to talk to me?”

I yank from his grasp and head for the bed. “I have nothing to say to you.”

He slams the door shut. “Well, I have something to say to you.”

I roll my eyes. Anything that comes out of his mouth will be a lie, and I don’t have time to listen to his bullshit. I grab my suitcase. “Get out of my way, Noel.”

“No. Damn it, you’re going to listen to me even if I have to tie you to that fucking bed.”

I narrow my eyes. “Wanna bet? Move.”

“God damn it! Would you fucking stop and listen to me for two seconds?” He runs his fingers through his hair. “I fucked up, all right? I know that. Sophie and I aren’t what you think. She means nothing to me.”

I gasp. “You’re worse than I thought if you’d talk about the mother of your child like that. You really are an asshole…like your father.”

His eyebrows shoot up. “I am nothing like that bastard.”

“Oh no? I recall him turning his back on his child, too.”

His jaw tightens, and the muscle work beneath his skin. “What the hell do you know about being there for someone?”

That hurts. He’s calling me out for leaving him four years ago, and it couldn’t come at a worse time. Doesn’t matter. Before I dumped his sorry ass, I was always there for him. “A hell of a lot more than you do, apparently.”

“That’s fucking bullshit. You turned your back on me. You always do. When you think I put something ahead of you, you bail. You did it that night on the dock, and you’re doing it again now.”

I shake my head. “That’s not why I left you. I left you because you were a selfish bastard who cared more about himself than the person who loves you the most.” The suitcase hits the floor with a loud thud when I yank it off the bed. I roll it toward the door.

Noel steps in my path and grabs my shoulders. “Please.” His voice is so low it’s a near whisper. “Please stay with me.”

I close my eyes. I can’t look at him. Even though what he’s done to me is completely shitty, I don’t want to see him this way. Hurting him is the last thing I want to do, but I can’t stay. Not after all this. “Let me go.”

“No,” he says. “I’m going to fight for you. I need you to know you’re my everything. I can’t lose you again. I just want you to give me a chance to prove myself to you.”

His words sting. I wish they were true. If they were, he would’ve ended things with Sophie the minute we reconnected and told me everything. Instead, he hid everything from me. “How can I trust you?” I open my eyes and touch his cheek. “I’m sorry.” I step out of his hold and roll my suitcase out the door.

T
his isn’t
the brightest idea I’ve ever had. I roll my suitcase through the parking lot and try to stay out of the way of all the road crews as they push and pull amps and speakers toward the arena. I’m not even sure what city we’re in; let alone how to find a place to hide from Noel.

I hear my name spoken by an unfamiliar voice, and I turn. It’s the bodyguard that’s always herding Noel’s fans away. Noel probably sent him to find me. Great.

“Oh, hey, Mike,” I reply as coolly as I can. I hope he doesn’t notice the heavy-ass bag I’m toting around.

His eyes drop on my hot-pink luggage. “You going somewhere?”

I tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “Um, yeah, actually. I need to find a hotel, but I’m not sure how to get out of this place or even what city we’re in. I’ll Google a cab company.”

He frowns at me. “I can take you if you want.”

If he wasn’t so big, I’d wrap my arms around him and thank him profusely for saving my life. “That would be awesome.”

He smiles and, for a second, he loses that intimidating vibe and turns cuddly. “Come on, the Escalade is parked on the other side of the buses.”

Mike takes the handle of my suitcase and starts walking. I don’t argue. With his muscles pulling that thing, we’ll get out of here twice as fast. When the SUV comes in sight, he hits a button on the key and the trunk opens. Mike shoves my bag inside, and we both jump in the cab.

“What hotel do you want to go to?” he asks.

I shrug. “It doesn’t matter—the cheaper the better.”

He nods and backs out of the parking space. “The tour manager booked us all rooms at a local hotel. You’re more than welcome to have my room.”

“Oh, no, Mike. I can’t do that. You need your room.”

He laughs and shakes his buzz-cut head. “You’re welcome to it. I’ll bunk with one of the other guys. It’s no big deal.”

As bad as I feel for taking his room, I agree. Being broke majorly sucks in emergencies like this. What little money I have left will be spent buying a plane ticket to New York, where I belong. My heart sinks. I don’t belong there anymore either. Not only is my job at Center Stage Marketing flushed to hell, but that non-compete contract makes it impossible for me to get another marketing job in the city.

I’m royally screwed.

Mike pulls the Escalade under the awning of the Hilton and opens my door after he grabs my bag. “Come on. I’ll check you in.”

I smile. He’s unbelievably nice. How can he work for a douche bag like Noel? Mike walks up to the check-in desk, and the blonde clerk blushes as she speaks with him. I can see why girls like him. He looks as if he can lift a girl with one hand and has amazingly cute dimples. He grins while the attractive blonde writes what appears to be her number and slides the paper across the counter to him. He folds it and tucks it, along with his I.D., back into his wallet.

Mike waves to the girl and turns to me with the hotel key card. “Room 211. Do you need me to help you with your bag?”

I shake my head and pat his arm. “Thank you but no. You’ve done so much to help me already.” The handle on my bag clicks as I pull it up.

Mike tilts his head and pulls his mouth into a tight line. “You know, he’s different with you. I’ve worked for him a long time, and he’s mentioned you several times, but I didn’t know how much he actually loves you until he saw you again that first night in Houston.”

I bite my lip. What he said is nice to hear, but it doesn’t change the facts. “He’s having a baby, and he neglected to tell me about it.”

He frowns. “He has his reasons. All I’m saying is give him a chance to explain. Maybe it’s not what you think.” Before I can say anything else, Mike heads for the exit. Noel’s lucky to have him. That guy seems to really care about him.

It takes me two tries to get the room unlocked and get inside. Stupid technology. The room isn’t anything special—a typical king-sized bed-type room. I set my bag on the floor and flop back onto the bed. What the fuck am I going to do? I scrub my hand down my face. This is one big clusterfuck.

My job is screwed.

My love life is shit.

I sigh, dig my cell phone out of my pocket, and search Aubrey’s number.

“What’s up, lucky girl? How’s that fine man of yours?” she says.

I close my eyes. “Not good.” They’re the only words I get out before I start bawling. I let it all go: the emotion and hurt I refused to let myself feel in front of Noel, the anger somehow put on the backburner. I allow my heart to break with my best friend.

“Aw, baby cakes, tell me what happened?”

It kills me to admit to her what an awful person Noel is. “He’s such an asshole.”

She lets out a heavy breath. “Did he hurt you? I’ll kill him if he laid a finger on you.”

I roll my eyes. “Nothing like that. He’s just…” I take a deep breath. “Noel has a girlfriend.”

“What!?” I rip the phone away from my ear after her shrill screech. “What do you mean ‘he has a girlfriend’?”

A tear rolls down my cheek, and I wipe it away with my palm. It’s hard to say that out loud. “I guess he has had one for a while, but that’s not the worst part.”

“What can be any worse than that?”

“She’s pregnant.”

Aubrey gasps. “Like, with a baby?”

I roll my eyes. “Yes. She says it’s Noel’s.”

“Oh, my God. Screw the job. Run away as fast as you can from that freak show. Come home.”

I can’t bring myself to tell her that Sophie is Riff’s ex. That will only make her feel weird, and the situation is fucked up enough as it is. I sigh and think about catching the next flight to New York so I can wallow in my apartment. Being anywhere around Noel Falcon is the last thing I want, which is why I’m here. I need to get some space and figure out my next move.

A knock on the door startles me. Damn, I should’ve put the Do Not Disturb sign on the door. “Just a minute,” I say.

“Who is that?” Aubrey questions.

I shove up from the bed and start toward the door. “It’s probably just housekeeping.” I pull open the door, expecting to find maid service, and my heart clenches. “What are you doing here?”

Noel shrugs with his hands deep in his pockets. The neck of his red shirt hangs loose from his fight with Riff and his dark hair is still wild. His face is red and the sparkle in his blue eyes is gone, replaced by dullness. He looks awful. “Can I come in?”

A sane person would slam the door in his face after telling him to take a flying leap. As much as I want to do that, I can’t bring myself to after looking at his face. He looks broken. Maybe he actually cares that I left? I open pull the door and he squeezes past me. I lean my forehead against the door and take a deep breath. “Aubrey, I’ll have to call you back.”

“Is it him?”

I nod. “Yes.”

She takes a breath. “Tell him to fuck off. You don’t need to put up with his shit.”

After I tell her okay and she’s satisfied I’m about to throw him out on his ass, I end my call. He’s waiting in silence—waiting on me to make a move. Since I’ve already let him in, I have no choice but to face him, to hear him out. I turn around and lean against the door, but I can’t look at him. The worn carpet marks a path from the bed to the door. I wonder how many happy couples spent romantic weekends in this room and if any ever went through anything like this situation—betrayal by a lover.

Noel steps toward me and grabs my hand. I try to jerk away, but he refuses to let go. “I know you hate me and never want to see me again, but I can’t let that happen. You mean everything to me. I don’t love Sophie. I never have. I love you, more now than ever. I can’t lose you.”

My chest clenches tight at the sound of her name on his lips. A tear falls from my eye. “Why did you sleep with her? How could you betray Riff like that? More importantly, how could you keep this from me? We are not supposed to have secrets.”

He sighs and brings my knuckles to his lips. “I don’t even remember her getting into my bed, to tell you the truth. I’m not always on my best behavior and, honestly, a few months ago, I was too wasted most of the time to remember much of anything. One morning I woke up and there she was—completely fucking naked. I knew Riff would go through the fucking roof when Sophie told him what happened, so I bought her a plane ticket home.”

“You sent her home?”

He nods. “I wanted the problem gone. I felt like shit. I couldn’t believe that, even in a fucked up state, I could let that happen. Riff’s the only family I have. I would never dick him over, or so I thought. That’s why I sent her away—to fix things.”

“You don’t remember sleeping with Sophie at all?”

Noel frowns. “Nothing. That’s what kills me. I watched Riff call her a million times after he figured out she’d split. I knew at some point I would have to ‘fess up to my shit. To be honest, I prayed Sophie would never tell him, but I knew she would. It’s just the kind of person she is.” He takes a ragged breath and pinches the bridge of his nose. “She told him we’d slept together, and she could never go back with him after that.”

I shake my head. Poor Riff.

“Riff hated me for taking her away from him. We’ve fought so many goddamn times over her, I’ve lost count. I try to explain that I don’t love her, but he won’t listen. That only makes things worse. He’ll never forgive me.”

“Have you seen her since she left?”

He shakes his head. “No, and I never planned to either. Not until a month ago when she called Riff to tell him she’s pregnant with my baby. I have a hard time wrapping my head around it, you know. Even wasted, I always use a condom. I don’t know how this happened.”

I look into his eyes. “You didn’t use a condom with me.”

Noel’s gaze flicks to mine. “That’s because you’re you. I love you. You’re the only girl I’ve ever loved, and I had to fucking have you. I had to be near you—feel you completely. I’ve missed you so much.”

I blink out a couple more tears. “If you haven’t seen her, why do people call her your girlfriend?”

He sighs and pinches his nose between his thumb and forefinger again. “I called Sophie after I found out she was pregnant. She told me she’s almost positive it’s mine, and I felt sick. I always thought I would start a family with the love of my life. Someone just like you.” My stomach knots and my legs feel week. I grip the door handle for support. “The thought of a little kid running around who belongs to me made me want to step up to the plate. I don’t want the kid to hate me. If Sophie’s baby is mine, I want to be there for it.”

Noel will make a great father, and I guess I didn’t give him enough credit. He’s not as immature as I thought. I shake my head. “That still doesn’t explain the whole girlfriend thing.”

He shrugs. “Sophie said the only way she’ll let me be a part of the whole process is if she can claim we’re together—something about not wanting to look like a slut.”

“But you’re not even sure the baby belongs to you.”

“I know, but if it does, I want to be a better father than mine is. I want to be in its life. I won’t turn my back on it. If Sophie wants to call herself my girlfriend, that’s fine, but I don’t have to love her and it doesn’t have to be true.”

“Do you know how absurd that sounds?”

Noel nods and sets his gaze on me. “I would’ve never agreed to it if I knew that we were going to happen. You have to believe me.”

Mistakes can happen. I know that. Noel isn’t a virginal type of guy. Hell, the whole world knows he has a massive sexual history, but the world doesn’t get to see this sweet side of him—the side that will do anything for anyone. My Noel.

I ask, “Can’t you just wait and get paternity tests once the baby’s born then take her to court? I’m pretty sure you can afford an attorney.”

“I could do that, but then I’d miss all the ultrasounds and the birth. I want to be a part of everything if that’s my kid.”

“If the baby isn’t yours, then that means it’s—”

He rubs his face. “Not Riff’s. He can’t have kids. He got into some kind of accident when he was younger or something.”

“But it’s possible, right? She was with him before you.” The thought of Riff and Noel sharing the same girl makes me shudder.

“I don’t think so.”

“How does Riff feel about all this?”

Noel shrugs. “He won’t talk to me about it. He feels betrayed and won’t speak to me. Whenever I try to talk to him, things get…ugly, and that’s not good for the band.”

He’s right. This whole situation sucks, especially for the band. I’ve seen the tension between the two. I knew all that male territory-marking was about more than just me. Noel drops my hand and runs his fingers through his hair. His hands stay behind his head while he paces near the foot of the bed. I’ve never seen him like this—torn between wanting me and needing to take responsibility for a fucked-up mess.

I can’t watch him fall apart. It’s not him. “Would you stop? You’re making me nervous.”

He stops pacing and sighs before sitting on the edge of the bed. Both of his shoulders slump and his blue jeans strain against the length of his long, muscular legs. My eyes roam over his body. His chest heaves under his red T-shirt as he rests his elbows on his knees and stares at the floor.

I can’t help but think this is one of the last times I’ll be locked alone in a room with Noel Falcon. This feels like our good-bye. The accusation of always leaving because I’m second to him plays out yet again. There’s no way I can stay with him while he’s caught up in all this baby-mama drama. A few quick steps and I find myself next to him. My body seems to have a mind of its own when it comes to Noel. The pull to him is crazy. I sit next to him. Our hips and legs touch, and I lift my hand to rub his back. As much as I wish this wasn’t happening, he’s still one of my oldest friends, and he’s hurting. He sighs and grabs my other hand, bringing my wrist to his lips and kissing the delicate skin over my pulse point. Need zings through me, and I squeeze my thighs tightly.

“Thank you,” he whispers against my skin. “Thank you for staying with me.”

My lips turn down. He doesn’t know this is my good-bye. “Noel…”

He brushes my lips with his fingertips. “Shhhhhh. Let’s not talk about this anymore. I just need to hear you say you love me. That this isn’t going to ruin us.”