True Loves (A Collection of Firsts) (32 page)

The word
friends
slice through me. Our connection feels like so much more than just a friendship, but I know at this point neither of us are ready to move our relationship beyond that. Being his employee will create that boundary we need. Not to mention that I still desperately need a job.

“Xavier…”

“Sixty thousand dollars.”

My eyes widen. “What?”

“I don’t want you to say no. I will pay you sixty thousand dollars.”

That’s a lot of money to a fresh-from-college girl like me, but taking this job isn’t about the compensation it will bring. It’s about spending time with Xavier.

I shake my head. “You don’t have to pay me more to make me take the job.”

Xavier reaches over and takes my hand. “I want you to know how badly I want you.”

The way he says it makes me believe he means as more than just as an employee. Maybe that’s wishful thinking on my part, but the thought of him wanting me—in any way—makes my toes curl.

If I want to see what could possibly happen between Xavier and me, taking this job is the only way to get time with him.

“I’ll do it,” I say firmly.

He raises his eyebrows. “Really? You’re not going to fight me on this?”

I shrug, attempting to play it off coolly. “I need a job.”

“Is that the only reason?” His gaze remains glued to me, gauging my reaction.

I might as well be honest…to a degree. “No. It’s not the only reason, but it’s the best one I can give you for now.”

He rubs the stubble along his jawline as he considers what I’ve said before a hint of a smile plays along his lips. “That’s good enough for me.”

Xavier pivots his butt on the barstool and places his feet at the counter, resting his elbows on the counter before calling out, “The service around here sucks!” loud enough for Nettie to hear clear in the back.

He glances over at me and winks before a cocky grin spreads across his face. I laugh and just like that, we fall back into our easy relationship. I forgot how easy it was to just “be” with him, like it was before all the crazy drama came between us.

Friendship with Xavier won’t be easy, but I’ll miss him too much not to try.

I
throw
the last of my things back into my suitcase and zip it up, glad that I packed light when I moved here.

Quinn stands beside me and sighs as she wraps her arm around my shoulders. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing? I don’t want to see you get hurt again, Anna.”

I smile at her, touched that she cares about me so much. “I’ll be fine, Quinn. Xavier and I are friends. We settled everything the other night.”

She nods. “Yeah, yeah. I know that’s what you said, but you forget that I saw how upset you were when he broke your heart.”

“He didn’t break my heart. We’d have to be dating for him to do that.”

Quinn raises a perfect eyebrow. “That’s what you keep saying, but he wants you and you want him. Both of you are playing with fire, and I don’t want you to be the one to get burned.”

I know she’s right, but it’s worth the risk. Xavier is like a drug I can’t get enough of. The thought of never seeing him again sends panic through me and I refuse to pass up the opportunity to spend more time with him.

I pull the bag off the bed and set it on the floor.

Quinn pulls me into her and hugs me tight. “Call me every day, okay?”

A faint knock on Quinn’s bedroom door catches my attention. Aunt Dee stands there, taking in our goodbye with her glistening eyes. Her dark hair is pulled into a loose bun, and she’s wearing some ridiculous orange shirt with neon green yoga pants. I’ll never get used to her odd taste in clothing.

“Are you all packed?” she asks as she steps into the room. “A black town car just pulled up out front, and I’m thinking it’s for you?”

I pop the handle up on the large roller bag. “Yep. I’ve got everything.”

I hold my breath as she embraces me to try and keep from crying. “You can come back here any time, you know that, right?”

I nod and close my eyes, inhaling the sweet scent of her perfume. Sadness washes through me because it’s one thing to leave my parents’ home to move in with family, but it’s entirely different leaving everyone you know to run off with a man you’ve only known for a week.

For the first time in my life, I’ll be one hundred percent on my own.

I pray I’m ready.

Aunt Dee pulls back and pushes my hair behind my shoulders. “Take care of yourself, yeah?”

“I will,” I manage to squeak out just as there’s a knock at the front door.

She pulls her lips into a tight line. “I’m sure that’s for you.”

Quinn steps over and wraps her arm around her mom as I head toward the front door. I take a deep breath and my heart skips a beat when it opens and my eyes land on Xavier there dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. How can one man make such simple dress attire appear so damn good? Sex appeal for him is effortless. It’s not really fair to the rest of the men in the world.

His blue eyes brighten the moment he sees me. “Hey, beautiful. You ready?”

There’s no mistaking his excitement, but I can’t tell if it’s because I’m coming along, or because he’s excited to get back to the wrestling world he loves so much. Either way, it warms me to see him happy and not all dark and moody.

“Yeah, I pack pretty light. Everything I own is in these two bags.” I roll the large suitcase out the door and readjust the backpack on my back.

He immediately takes the handle of the large bag and hooks his fingers under the strap of my backpack, slipping it off my shoulder. “That’s good. We’ll be traveling a lot. The less shit you carry around, the easier it is.”

Xavier heads toward the car and the awaiting driver, who is standing by the open trunk. I trail behind him and the thought occurs to me that I never asked much about what kind of work schedule I’ll be expected to keep.

“Will we be on the road a while? Do we not come back here often?”

He shakes his head as he hands my bags to the driver. “I don’t ever come here if I can help it. The only reason I was here this week is because the company forced me to take time off.”

“Why’s that?”

He opens the door for me to get into the car. “Remember the guy from television? Assassin?”

The memory of the wrestler calling Xavier out on national TV hits me. How could I forget?

“Yes.”

He curls his fingers around the top of the door. “Things between he and I were getting out of hand. Our matches in the ring were beginning to turn real, so they made me take a break. Told me to go home and reflect on everything I’ll lose if I didn’t settle my ass down and control my temper. Told me to take my mind off how much I dislike Assassin or else it could ruin my title shot.”

I lean against the car and stare up at him. “Did coming here help clear your head?”

“You definitely occupy a lot of space in my brain right now. Not much else has been on my mind this week.” He winks as me, and I immediately blush.

This is what confuses me so much—when he says things like that. People don’t talk to their friends like that.

Do they?

Xavier chuckles, knowing he’s flustered me, and motions for me to get in.

The tinted windows in the car, coupled with the black leather interior, make it dark in here. The moment I’m in the middle of the seat, Xavier slides in next to me and for a brief second our bodies touch. The close proximity of his skin next to mine causes a shiver to rush down my spine. Even though I wish it wouldn’t, my body reacts to any little contact with him. Hopefully the more I’m around him, the more my body will realize we are better off as friends and stop urging me to attack him every opportunity I can.

My eyes drift up front and I notice Jimmy, Xavier’s manager, sitting in the passenger seat.

Xavier catches my line of sight and says, “Anna, you remember Jimmy, right?”

Jimmy turns around to acknowledge me, wearing a pair of white sunglasses that are straight from the eighties and compliment his perfectly styled mullet.

I smile at him. “Of course. How are you?”

He pulls his sunglasses off, revealing his warm brown eyes. “Welcome to the team. When we get to the hotel, we’ll go over the schedule for the next couple of months.”

“Sounds good. Are we going to be on the road a lot?”

Jimmy nods. “A lot of the talent go home for the weekend after Thursday’s show, but X just goes straight to the next city.”

“Do you always stay wherever he is?”

Jimmy shakes his head and holds up his left hand and points to his ring finger. “My wife would kill me if I did that.”

I tilt my head. “But you stayed here with him this week?”

Jimmy smirks. “Had to make sure my boy here stayed out of trouble. The company has very strict policies, so they sent me along with him. I’ve got to make sure he doesn’t do something that’ll cost us both our jobs.”

I giggle at the thought of the small man in front of me having to keep an eye on the very intimidating Xavier. “So you’re a like a babysitter.”

Xavier grunts next to me, and Jimmy laughs. “I wouldn’t call it that exactly. He’s a grown man and can do whatever he wants. I’m strictly here for guidance and support, well, for the most part I’m just here to make sure he’s being taken care of and not getting stiffed in the fine print of contracts.”

I nod. “Understood. So what exactly is
my
job?”

Jimmy’s lips pull into a tight line. “That’s between you and X. I typically stay out of the relationships he has with other employees.”

When Jimmy adds the “s” on the word employee it makes me wonder just how many personal assistants have come before me. I know what kind of relationship he had with Deena so it’s very possible that he’s had that same type of relationship with all of them.

Xavier says I’m different—that he doesn’t want that type of arrangement with me—and in a small part of me, that hurts my feelings. It makes me jealous that these other women have had him, and I haven’t. He believes I’m a good girl—too delicate to hurt.

That’s the story of my life.

He’s a player, and I know I’ll be hurt by him again eventually, but it doesn’t stop me from being attracted to him or wanting to experience unharnessed passion.

This relationship between us makes me question every moral I’ve ever been taught, and I can’t help but think that one of these days I’m going to chuck them all out the window and just enjoy the “Phenomenal” ride.

A
fter a quick flight to Atlanta
, we jump into an awaiting SUV that whisks us off to the hotel. Xavier and I made small talk on the plane, but there’s no denying there’s still some unresolved tension between us.

Things aren’t as carefree as they once were. In large part that’s due to me discovering the “Deena situation.” It built a wall between us and made me trust him less. I’ve got my eyes and ears open now that my perfect bubble of what I thought Xavier is like popped.

Xavier readjusts in the seat. “Are you hungry?”

He’s clearly searching for excuses to talk with me. “Yes.”

“After we check in, we can find a restaurant.”

I nod. “Sounds good.”

The vehicle pulls up under the awning of the hotel, and Xavier opens the door, immediately turning around to offer me a hand. There’s an undeniable zing that shocks my skin the moment we touch.

I wish he wasn’t so damn good looking. It makes staying mad at him ridiculously difficult.

He releases me the moment I’m on the ground and heads to the rear of the vehicle to retrieve our bags.

Jimmy catches up with me and hands me a slip of paper. “Here’s all my contact information. Save it all into your phone, in case you need me.”

I take it and stuff it into my back pocket. “Thanks.”

Jimmy grins and waggles his eyebrows above his sunglasses. “Good luck.”

I frown, unsure of what I need luck for. Xavier’s my friend. How hard can he possibly be to work for?

The trunk slams, and I jump a bit. I reach for my bags but he shakes his head and nods toward the door. “Let’s go check in.”

The automatic doors open and allow us access inside. The hotel is pretty standard. It’s a basic, upscale chain with marble floors and a grand foyer with a pianist playing a light tune at the bar while the other guests mill about leisurely. I guess I’m a little surprised this is the hotel the super stars of wrestling stay in. Famous people are known for glamour and luxuries.

Xavier runs his fingers through his hair, shoving it away from his face as he steps up to the front desk. The petite, blond concierge’s smile widens as she stares up at his face and sticks her chest out a little more.

“Hello, Mr. Cold. We’ve been expecting you.” She slides his room card across the front desk in a hotel card. “Your room has been taken care of. If you need
anything
at all, please call me.”

The blatant flirtation in her tone is unmistakable. I roll my eyes. Is this what he always has to deal with—women throwing themselves at him without any hesitation at all? No wonder he thought my behavior on the plane, when we first met, was refreshing.

Xavier takes the card and opens it. His eyebrows bunch together as he studies it. “There’s only one room listed here. My manager was supposed to arrange for two.”

The blond clears her throat. “I’m sorry about that, sir. Let me check our availability for another room.”

After a few quick taps on her keyboard, she twists her lips. “I’m afraid we are completely booked. Whenever large events are in town, we fill up rather fast.”

Xavier sighs as he glances down at me. “We’re going to have to share a room. Deena typically roomed with a female wrestler she’s friends with, so we didn’t book an extra room for you ahead of time.”

I gnaw on the inside of my lower lip. The thought of sharing a hotel room with Xavier creates butterflies in my stomach. Being in such close proximity together all night is really going to test our control, but what choice do we have?

“It’s fine. We’re friends, right. One night won’t hurt,” I say, attempting to make it feel less awkward.

“It might be more than one night.”

I tilt my head. “Why’s that?”

He taps the card on the desk. “We stay in hotels all the time. Our rooms are booked months in advance. There’s a good chance we’re going to run into this problem in each city we visit.”

One night I can handle, maybe even two…but weeks? My resolve won’t last that long. I’ve never been attracted to a man like I am Xavier. The way he walks, talks, and even smiles is a turn on.

How can I resist all that wrapped up in one sexy, tattooed package?

There has to be another way.

“What about the roommate Deena stayed with? Do you think she’ll allow me to bunk with her?”

Xavier shakes his head. “Star isn’t exactly a
friendly
person. She won’t allow just anyone to stay in her room. Besides, she and Deena have become tight. It wouldn’t be a good situation to put you in.”

Sharing a room with a woman who hates me because I’m with the man her friend wants probably wouldn’t be best. Especially if she’s a female wrestler.

I may end up strangled in my sleep.

“Understood. Lead the way, roomie.” I try to continue to play it off, but under the cool façade I’m sporting, I’m freaking out—a lot.

He chuckles and motions for me to go ahead. “Ladies first.”

I roll my eyes and head toward the guest elevators, and once I press the up button, we stand there in silence.

Hotel rooms are generally pretty small, but I might end up sleeping on the floor anyway because even the
thought
of sleeping in bed with Xavier while he’s shirtless next to me nearly makes my mouth water.

I wish he wasn’t so sexy. My stupid body can’t control its hormones around him.

I glance over at him and notice the little grin on his face.

Oh boy. I can only imagine what he’s thinking. If it’s anywhere near the thought that just flickered through my mind, we’re in trouble.

The doors open and once again he motions for me to go first while he follows behind with our entire group of luggage.

Who says chivalry is dead?

“What floor?” I ask.

He glances down at the card to double check the room number. “Fifth.”

It’s a painfully slow ride, and I beat back the urge to shout out a silly line like “How about those Dodgers.” Awkwardness is very uncomfortable for me—as I would imagine it would be for anyone. It’s extra hard for me, because I’ve never been in the position where I’ve had to share a room with a man.

Before I go any further, I’m not saying I’ve never seen a man naked. I’m no virgin. Jorge and I did it once out of curiosity, but he quickly put a halt to ever doing it again, claiming it was a sin against God for us to have sex before we were married. He made me feel guilty for having…urges, like I was a horrible person.

But that was more than a year ago. He never touched me again after that. The most I could ever hope for was a kiss with tongue, which didn’t do a thing to settle my hormones.

Not once has Xavier made me feel like I was dirty or wrong for being attracted to him. He read me and knew that I was a good girl—that I
am
a good girl. Which is why he’s kept his distance. Apparently he has too much respect for me to use me.

I still don’t understand his commitment issues. If he cares so much for me, why doesn’t he want to attempt to have a real relationship with me? Am I not good enough? Not sexy enough?

I wrap my arms around my torso, suddenly super aware of how overly curvy my body is next to someone like Deena. My breasts aren’t fake like hers either. Mine are small, but perky.

Xavier notices my shift in body language and touches the back of my arm. “You okay?”

“Fine,” I answer instantly in a clipped tone.

“I told you, you don’t have to be worried about sharing a room with me. I’ll even sleep on the floor if it makes you more comfortable.”

“Don’t be silly. You need to rest up for the match.”

The elevator stops, and the door opens on our floor. We both exit, and I follow Xavier to our room. After swiping the key card, he flips on the lights and motions for me to go first.

The massive king-size bed occupies most of the space, and while sleeping in the same bed with Xavier scares me, it won’t be like we’re shoulder to shoulder.

The mattress gives a little under the weight of my backpack as he sets it down. “You still want to go eat?”

I shove my hands in my back pockets. “Yeah.”

“Let’s go then. There should be a restaurant downstairs.”

Xavier closes the door behind us, and I follow him down the hall. The second I come to a stop next to him in front of the elevators, he reaches down and curls his fingers around mine.

A tingle rushes up my arm from the point where our skin touches. I should pull away and set boundaries, letting him know right off the bat that this is a business relationship only, but I can’t do it. I like it when he touches me. My body craves more.

We’re playing with fire, and one of us is bound to get burned.

At the soft ding of the elevator, we step inside the awaiting car. Xavier tugs me inside with him, and we ride down to the lobby.

The buzz from the crowd of people assaults my ears as the doors open, and there’s a shriek and a bunch of camera flashes in my face as Xavier pulls us through the throng of people.

The chants of his name echo throughout the lobby, but he keeps walking, tucking me close to his side. The crowd is excited to get a glimpse of him, but he doesn’t stop. He’s like a man on a mission, determined to get us to the restaurant in one piece.

A boy around the age of ten, wearing a shirt with Xavier’s face on it, waves his hands wildly, and it reminds me of the two boys in front of me on the plane.

Xavier spots the kid too and glances back at me. “Do you mind?”

“Of course not.”

He smiles and then kneels down in front of the child, taking the poster and sharpie from his small hands. I smile as Xavier signs the poster and says a few words of encouragement about staying in school and going to college, the child nodding enthusiastically while hanging on his every word.

After the boy’s mother snaps a picture of the two of them, Xavier ruffles the kid’s hair and tells him goodbye.

My heart instantly melts at his interaction with his miniature fan.

Xavier notices the sappy expression on my face and takes my hand. “Come on, beautiful.”

I wave goodbye to the little boy as we pass by and cut down a hallway. Thankfully security halts the rabid fans from following us, informing them that the restaurant is reserved for a private party, and that was as far as they were allowed.

I sigh, relieved to be away from all that madness. “Is it always like that for you?”

He shakes his head. “No. We try to keep where we are staying secret, but sometimes it slips out and fans get a little overzealous.”

“That was sweet, what you did back there.”

He glances down at me. “I always take time out for the kids. It’s crazy to me that, to some of them, I’m their hero.”

I squeeze his fingers between mine. “No, it’s not. You’re a great role model. Look at how much you’ve had to overcome to get where you are.”

He swallows hard. “I’ve done a lot of bad shit too, Anna. I don’t think I’m exactly role model material.”

“Let’s agree to disagree. I’m not saying you’re perfect, but professionally you’ve done amazing. You should be proud of that.”

He smiles and squeezes my hand back. “Thank you.”

We round the corner and my eyes widen. Sitting in the hotel restaurant are some of the largest men and women I’ve ever seen—all of them buff, tall, and tanned. Xavier doesn’t stand out as much in this crowd, but he certainly doesn’t go unnoticed because the moment we walk in, most of the eyes in the place zero in on us.

I try to pull my hand out of from his grasp—I’m not sure how to explain our relationship to his coworkers just yet—but he only tightens his grip, refusing to allow me to pull away.

“Relax,” he says in my ear, and I take a deep breath. “It’s going to be okay. You’re just a new face.”

“Okay.”

Curiosity. I can handle that.

Xavier leads me to a table in the back corner, where another muscle-bound man sits. His long, dark hair is pulled back into a low ponytail, and his dark eyes twinkle with intrigue the moment our gazes lock.

The man’s eyes flit from me to Xavier, and he grins as one of his thick eyebrows quirk. “Fresh meat?”

Xavier laughs and bumps fists with the man before pulling out a chair for me to sit in. “Brian “Razor” Rollins, this is Anna, my new assistant.”

Brian stretches his arm across the table. “Nice to meet you.”

I shake his hand. “Likewise.”

Brian turns his attention from me back to Xavier. “Deena’s history then?”

“Ancient,” Xavier replies while taking the menu from the server who approached our table the moment we sat down.

Brian clears his throat and tilts his head to the left. “And she knows that, right?”

Both Xavier and I glance to the other side of the restaurant.

Oh, crap.

Deena glares back at us from where she sits, which is next to a rather built female who I can only assume is Star—the friend Xavier warned me about.

My heart races in my chest. For some reason I believed that night in the hotel would be the last time I ever had to lay eyes on this woman. I certainly didn’t expect her to be here.

The muscle under Xavier’s jaw works beneath his skin. “What the fuck is she doing here?”

“She came in here with Rex. We all were wondering what was going on when you weren’t with her. Is she working for him now?” Brian asks as he cuts into the huge steak on the plate in front of him.

The name Rex instantly rings a bell. That’s the guy who is Xavier’s rival for the championship belt. Why would she do that to Xavier, especially if she had a relationship with him?

Xavier sighs. “That bitch is vindictive as fuck.”

Brian chuckles. “I warned you, brother. That woman has evil written all over her. I just hope she doesn’t come after your new tail here.”

My eyes widen. “Whoa. We’re just—”

“Friends?” Brian cuts me off and winks with an ornery smile. “I know.”

I’m not sure I like his implied tone, and the concern I had once before resurfaces. Exactly how many other women have been in my position? That unnerves me. I’m not used to being just another woman in an absurdly long line.

After Xavier orders the biggest steak they have, I give my order and glance around the restaurant. All the muscle-type men in here seem to be eating like Xavier. It must be part of their training to get all those muscles.