True Sisters (28 page)

The evening before, a woman who appeared half-dead had offered him a gold locket in exchange for food. She had made the rounds of the camp with the jewelry but found no takers. Finally, she approached Andrew, begging him to give her a bit of biscuit for it. “I’ve had nothing to eat for two days but a little piece of hide roasted over the fire, and that I chewed until it turned white,” she said. Andrew had only one biscuit, a poor thing that Nannie had made from flour and water, but he broke it in half and handed a piece to the woman. Then he’d refused to take the locket. She had sat down a little ways off, the biscuit in her hand, staring at it. She stayed that way so long that Andrew had gone to her to inquire if she was all right, and he’d discovered that she was dead, the biscuit clutched in her fingers. Such was their need that he had taken the food from the dead woman and given it to Ella.

It wasn’t just Andrew’s physical strength and generosity that impressed Nannie. As Ella grew weaker, she also grew discouraged, and it was Andrew who kept up her spirits, singing the songs of Zion and talking of the joy they would find in the valley. “All is well, my girls. We’ve a good day ahead,” he told them each morning when they rose and found each other yet alive, insisting each morning that he felt first-rate. And then he found some little bit of joy in the day. That morning he had said, “The blessed snow keeps the midges away,” and the women had laughed, because they’d complained about the flies that had plagued them on the prairie.

Nannie leaned over and wrapped her arms around her sister, holding her close to warm her.

“Andrew sleeps with one eye open and one foot out of bed, believing I might need him,” Ella said. “Ye and he pamper me.”

“Nay.” Nannie gave a bark of a laugh and replied, “Your clothes are worn through. We are starving. We are freezing to death in the middle of a blizzard. And yet ye say ye are pampered. God alone knows what things would be like if ye felt neglected.”

Ella laughed, too. “Ye keep me in good spirits, Nannie. I widna hae made it this far without ye—ye and Andrew. He is a good husband.”

“Aye. He’s better by half than any man here. If anyone can get us through to Utah, Andrew can.”

Ella stared into the falling snow and asked, “Do ye think they’ll come in time. Do ye think we’ll be rescued?”

“Of course we will.”

“What if no one knows we’re here? What if they think we stayed at Fort Laramie?” When Nannie didn’t answer, Ella continued: “They dinna hae supplies for us along the way. If they’d known we were on the road, widna they hae had flour and beef and blankets waiting for us?”

“I hae not come all this way just to die in the mountains, and neither hae ye. Or Andrew. Or the bairn. I canna believe it is the End of Days.”

The two sat there, rocking back and forth a little, Ella hugging her belly, as if her arms could warm the baby inside her. She had been growing like Jonah’s gourd vine and was heavy with child now. To distract her sister from her misery, Nannie asked, “What do ye think ye will do when we reach the valley?”

“First, I’ll eat a bowl of warm milk and a bap. Then, I think, a meat pie, two of them, a whole trayful. And a cake, an entire cake. Then I’ll take a lovely warm bath and put on clean clothes. Imagine, a clean dress with no tears in it. And warm slippers.” She sighed with pleasure. “What about ye?”

“I’d like a Sally Lund, a warm large one with fresh-made butter, and a tattie scone. Do ye think they make them here?”

“Of course. There are Scots already in the valley. What else?”

“A piece of beef as big as my fist. And turnips, although I canna tell ye why, for I never favored a neep before. And a platter of tarts—lemon and strawberry, I think, maybe mince. P’raps a dumpling.” She paused and then said, “But it’s not about that I’m asking. I was wondering if Andrew has decided what work he’ll do. I donna believe there are textile mills in Zion.”

“If there aren’t yet, there are bound to be soon, what with all the people coming to the valley. But if he canna be a mill worker, Andrew says he will labor as a carpenter.”

“Does he know a thing about building?”

“No, but he dinna know about handcarts, either, and it’s a fine job he’s done with ours.” Ella removed her shawl to fling off the snow that had fallen on it, then asked, “What about ye, Nannie? Will ye look for a husband—a young one—or do ye want to get work?”

Nannie ignored the question about a husband, for she did not want Ella to know she was considering Levi’s proposal. “Right off, I should like to find a job in a hotel, someplace nice where I can wear a white apron starched stiff as a plate and pour tea from a silver teapot into china cups as thin as onion skin. Do you suppose there’s such a place in the valley?”

Ella shrugged.

“If there isn’t, I shall start one myself. Or maybe a shop that sells dainty sweets.”

“Then I canna think but what it is a shame ye traded your silver brooch at Fort Laramie, because ye could hae sold it to open your establishment.” Both sisters laughed and huddled together, Nannie wondering if any husband would ever make her as happy as Ella did. She rubbed her feet, then sat on them, hoping that would warm them.

She was adjusting her skirts and didn’t see the man approach, didn’t know he was there until Ella said, “Brother Levi.” Nannie looked up, startled.

“Sister Ella and Sister Nannie. Are you well?” he asked.

“Nay, we’re as cold as frozen potatoes,” Nannie replied, hoping Levi had not sought her out to discuss his marriage proposition again. She did not want him to speak of it in front of Ella, who would be scornful. Nannie had not seen him since he promised to ask Brother Martin for a shawl to replace the one that had been stolen from her, but since Levi held nothing in his hands, Nannie supposed he had come to tell her he’d been unsuccessful. That would not surprise her, since no matter how close Levi was to the leader of their company, he was not likely to interest the elder in procuring a shawl. After all, Brother Martin had hundreds of other brothers and sisters to worry about, and any extra shawls would have been handed out long since. She had seem him, gaunt and sorrowful, and she’d wondered if he was sorry he’d been asked to head the company. “And ye, Brother Levi, are ye enjoying this balmy day?” She hoped levity might turn his mind away from marriage, if that was indeed his reason for seeking her out.

Levi squatted beside her. “I am not so well. Patricia died last night. She was buried with the others this morning. During the service, Brother Martin had to fire his shotgun at the crows to keep them from the grave.”

Nannie was horrified at her light tone. She should have realized that Levi was there for a solemn purpose. “I am sorry. She was as beautiful a lass as I ever saw, so full of life.” Nannie tried to think of something more to say about Patricia but was hard-pressed to remember a thing that was nice.

Ella spoke up. “I recall her at prayer meeting, how she did sing. We’ve a good lot of singers amongst the Saints, but hers was the loveliest voice of all, like an angel’s. And now she is with the angels. Did she suffer much?”

Nannie remembered Patricia’s complaining and thought the woman suffered much even when she had no reason to, but she said, “I’m hoping she was not discomforted. Was she dangerous ill?”

“She went for a walk. I believe her mind was deranged from the cold, and she wandered away. A brother found her sitting in the snow. The wolves—”

Nannie gasped as she thought of the bodies she’d seen that the wolves had all but devoured, the ripped torsos and half-eaten arms and legs. The graves the men dug now in the frozen earth were shallow, and she knew that even if the Saints built fires on top of the graves to destroy the smell of flesh, the wolves would tear up the earth to get at the bodies. She’d heard the howls of the wolves at night, seen the animals prowling the edges of the camp, their ragged yellow teeth gleaming in the moonlight. She had not liked Patricia, had hated her, in fact, for marrying Levi on Nannie’s own wedding day, but she did not wish her body desecrated, did not wish her dead, either.

Finally, Levi said, “The wolves had not found her. She looked at peace.”

“Ye shall be reunited in the Lord’s own due time. We’ll neglect no opportunity to pray for her soul,” Ella said.

Nannie frowned at her sister, for Ella was not so pious as her words. But what else could one say? She hoped Levi did not find the remarks false. “I’m sorry we dinna know. We would hae attended the service. We will pray for Sister Patricia,” Nannie told him, thinking herself as insincere as her sister.

“Will you walk with me a little?” Levi asked Nannie.

“Nay, my feet…” she began, but Ella pushed at her and told her walking would bring the blood to her feet. Nannie was surprised, because she knew Ella disliked Levi, but maybe Ella’s heart had softened at the news of his wife’s death. Perhaps Ella did indeed mean those words. Whatever it was, Levi was a brother who needed consoling, so she could not turn him down.

Nannie put on her shoes, and Levi helped her to her feet, holding her up, because she had trouble standing. She realized that he was as strong as Andrew. Why was it, she wondered, that some men pulled the handcarts all day, deprived themselves of food so that they could feed their families, then died in the night, while others seemed to gain strength from the same sacrifices?

“She did not live easy, nor make it easy for me. The pretty ones are the lazy ones,” Levi said as he walked slowly among the tents and handcarts, Nannie hobbling beside him. “Patricia was one to complain. She said toward the end that all she asked of the world was to be comfortably out of it.”

“Hush,” Nannie told him, a little shocked at his words about the dead. “Ye mustna tell me about that. Ye are distressed.”

“You would not have complained. You are not lazy.”

Nannie frowned, wondering if that meant he thought she was not pretty, and did not reply.

“I tell you now she’s gone, you would be the first wife.”

Nannie stopped, holding on to the wheel of a handcart to keep from falling. “It isnae fitting for ye to say that, Levi.”

“It’s not fitting that the Camp of Israel should be starved and frozen, either. If this is not a godforsaken country, it is a God-forgotten one. These are hard days for Mormons, and we can no longer observe the conventions we once did.”

“We are being tested. There’s not one amongst us who’s not been tested.”

“So we are.”

Nannie hoped that Levi would turn his thoughts away from the proposal, but he did not. “If we were at home, I wouldn’t dare to discuss such a subject, with my wife still warm in her grave.…” He cleared his throat, and Nannie wondered if he had the same thought she did, that no one, not the newly dead nor the living, could be called warm. A giggle started in her throat at the idea, but, horrified, she coughed it down. Levi continued: “But we aren’t at home, and I believe we ought to settle this thing between us. You told me you did not care to be a second wife. Now I can promise that you will be the first.”

Nannie could not look at Levi. Instead, she stared into the falling snow that swirled around the carts. Except for a few green and blue shawls, red ones faded to the color of heather, everything in front of her was gray. “The first but not the only wife,” she said at last.

“We are Mormons. You know it precious well we are expected to embrace the principle.”

“Andrew widna. He promised. He wrote it in Ella’s Bible on their wedding day. She would not hae married him otherwise.”

“She is selfish. Such promises are not binding. He will change.”

“Like that, is it?” she said scornfully.

Levi shrugged. “It’s very well for them, then, if that’s what they want. I won’t promise you I won’t take other wives. You know as well as I do that the prophet says it’s our duty. Our salvation depends on it. No other man you would marry, if he’s a good Saint, would make you that promise, either. But I tell you, Nannie, that you will be first in my heart, first in my esteem.”

Nannie turned her back on Levi and put both hands on a wheel, a blue blanket attached to it for a shelter. Blue was her favorite color, because it reminded her of the sky. She wondered how many in the camp would live to see the sky turn blue again. “I was not first before.”

“You’re right to be angry. Only after I married Patricia did I realize what a fool I was. Not a day went by that I didn’t regret that impulse. Where she would cry, you would have laughed; where she complained, you would have carried on with a smile. It was being married to her that made me realize you were meant to be my wife. When I looked at Patricia, I saw her soul was dross, but glory shines around your head.”

Nannie glowed at the compliments but said, “Ye are harsh in regards to Patricia.”

“I am honest.”

Yes, Nannie thought, he is that, just as he’d been honest about embracing plural marriage.

“Now there is no obstacle to our being married. If I have caused you grief, I beg pardon and ask you to forgive me. Forgiveness is a part of our religion, too.” He grinned at Nannie, and she could not help but smile back. “I will make it all up to you by being a good husband. Will you say yes, then?”

Nannie put her hands over her face and breathed into the wet wool of her shawl. She wondered if the cold had affected her mind, because she could not think clearly. She knew there was a reason she ought to say no, but she couldn’t remember what it was. Oh, she did love Levi. There was no question of that. Her darkest hour had been her wedding day, when she’d read Levi’s note telling her that he was casting her aside for Patricia. But now it was as if that had never happened. Nannie envisioned herself as she had once dreamed, wearing a wedding dress and the precious red silk slippers, the past months erased. There would be other wives. Levi had been frank about that, but there could be other wives no matter which Saint she wed. Was it better to be married to a man she loved and watch him court other women or to wed a man she didn’t care about and therefore wouldn’t be as hurt when he chose subsequent wives? For a little while, at least, she would be happy with Levi, and they would be together in the celestial kingdom. What was a little unhappiness in life if she were assured of eternal bliss?