Truly Madly Deeply Boxed Set (24 page)

She glanced up, meeting his gaze with serious, imploring eyes. “They miss Alix. They’d like to see her, and I’d like them to be her family, if you’ll let them.”

How like Chelsie to put her parents’ needs before her own, to risk his anger by pressing their case. “Of course they can see her. I never said they couldn’t.”

As Chelsie’s parents and Alix’s grandparents, he’d have to make peace with them eventually. It helped that they’d won Chelsie over, but it wasn’t a necessity. Blood bound them to his niece. He’d have given them another chance regardless. He paused before asking, “Did you tell them about your past?”

She nodded. “It was hard, but necessary—and in the end, cleansing for me. Very shocking for them. But the truth is out in the open now.” Her warm, dark eyes met his. “For all of us.”

“Speaking of truths, when were you going to tell me you’d been in touch with your ex?”

Her eyes narrowed. “At the same time you told me you’d done the same,” she said, challenge lacing her words.

Griff couldn’t help it. He burst out laughing. “I should have known you’d be one step ahead of me.”

“I’ve been in contact with Amanda. You shouldn’t have done it, Griff.”

“Neither should you. Why don’t we call it a good business decision and leave it at that?”

A smile tugged at the edges of her mouth. “It was a good plan.”

“Had to be. We both came up with it.”

“Yeah, we did.” She laughed again, and the heaviness weighting down his heart this last weekend seemed to ease.

From the side of her desk, she lifted an empty carton and placed it on top. His stomach twisted again. Once she made a decision, Chelsie obviously didn’t waste any time implementing it.

Forcing normal conversation while she packed to desert him wasn’t easy, but he managed. “How did your parents take the news?” he asked of her parents’ reaction to her abusive marriage.

“They didn’t fault me for any of my decisions.”

“That’s because you weren’t to blame.”

She smiled. “Thanks. It took me five long years to realize that, but at least it’s behind me now.” While she spoke, she transferred her books, tape dispenser, and other belongings from her desk into the large carton. When she reached for the tiny silver frames, he knew he was in trouble.

But because the distraction kept her talking without any awkward silences, Griff let her continue. Her weekend had been as cathartic as his. He wanted to hear as much as she was willing to divulge.

“Guess what?” she asked.

The pleased tone in her voice made him wary. “What?”

“I sublet my apartment, furniture and all.” Turning away, she began to collect books from the shelf behind the desk. “Before I left, I put up a sign. Someone left a message while I was away. Two law students love the area and were waiting for an opening in my building.”

“When do they want to move in?”

“The end of the month,” she said.

Two weeks away. “What made you decide to do that?”

She turned away from the bookshelves and she looked at him. “I don’t need it anymore.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s simple. I realized exactly why I’d chosen that apartment and decorated it the way I had—for the same reasons I pulled away from my sister and never allowed myself to get too close to Alix. All that crystal and glass told me every day that there would never be a child in my life.”

“And then I pulled you into our lives.”

“I think I pushed first,” she said, but she nodded, then squeezed her arms tight across her chest.

Griff knew the next few minutes were going to be painful for them both. He also knew that they were necessary if they wanted a future. And that was the problem. Although he now knew what he wanted, her thoughts and feelings were by no means transparent.

She’d closed herself off from him and he wanted back in. He’d thought this had to be accomplished in stages. Business first, personal later. He hadn’t liked it, but he’d understood. Having Chelsie in his future was well worth the wait. If she was planning on moving, he had less time than he originally thought.

“I did a lot of thinking this weekend about what you said before I left,” she said.

Apparently he was about to get his wish. “I said a lot of things.” None particularly correct or rational, he thought preparing himself for the verbal blast that was to come.

“Well, you were right about this one. I did love the idea of what you could give me. I loved the notion of a child and a husband who loved me, of a family that would be there every day when I got home. I wanted what I had growing up, but more. More emotion, more family.” She brushed at the stray tears dripping down her face, then wiped her wet hands on her jeans.

He wanted to spare her, to tell her that none of this mattered, but he could see in her eyes that it did.

“You wanted me to separate my feelings. I did that. I told you I loved you apart from my feelings for my niece. But that wasn’t enough. You wanted proof that I wasn’t using you and I can’t give you that. How can I?” She swallowed, choking on her words and her emotions.

He grasped her arms, noticing that her entire body trembled beneath his touch. “None of that matters.”

“I know. Because I realized something else this weekend.”

“What?”

“Even if you took that leap and believed in my feelings, it wouldn’t work. You’d end up resenting me in the end because I couldn’t give you your own child.”

Shifting positions, he wrapped one arm around her shoulders and led her to the couch. “Sit.”

She complied and he settled himself next to her. “I asked you before. Where did you get such nonsense?”

“From you.” She ran her tanned fingers over the raised pattern in the sofa, refusing to meet his gaze. “You love kids. You told me you’d like another.”

“Another doesn’t necessarily mean one of my own.”

She shrugged, as if dismissing his words as meaningless, although they were probably the most important he’d ever spoken. She just wasn’t hearing him, proof that his plan of winning her over in stages was necessary.

Although she claimed to want a family, she wasn’t ready. She would never believe he’d changed his mind, not without time and concrete proof.

“You and Jared had a rough life, but you bought this house. It’s got a bunch of empty rooms. I’ve seen you with Alix.” She jumped up from her seat “Why are we even discussing this? You made things clear before I left.”

“Yes, I guess I did.”

She bit down on her lip and nodded. “Okay, then. Boxes await.”

“Not yet.”

“Why draw out the inevitable?” she asked.

“Because maybe it isn’t. What’s the one thing your clients expect of you?”

She stared at him. “What’s going on, Griff?”

Apparently she wasn’t about to let him ease into this. “I want to keep our partnership alive.” In more ways than one, he thought.

“Impossible.”

“No. Dissolving it is. Your clients expect stability and an attorney they can trust. Not one who changes partners on a whim, gets involved, then backs off. You said yourself these women have fragile psyches. They need what we can offer them. If you back out now, you’ll scare them. They’ll think they can’t trust you to be there for the long haul. Is that what you want?”

She glared at him. “You don’t play fair, Griff.”

“Maybe not, but I play honest And, sweetheart this is as honest as it gets. So do I still have a partner, partner?” He extended his hand towards her.

“It’s not like you’ve given me a choice,” she muttered.

He groaned aloud. He wanted her by his side, but he wanted her to be there because she believed in him, believed they could have a future. No more stalling, he thought. “Come with me.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Where?”

Grasping her hand, he gave a gentle pull. Chelsie followed reluctantly. She wanted to get this morning over with as soon as possible. Her trip to Florida and the reconciliation with her parents had helped her put life in some sort of perspective and she’d reached a crossroads. It was time to move forward.

She’d survive without Griff. After all, she’d lived through worse. But not much, she thought, glancing at the man she loved.

Chelsie found herself in the downstairs den. Mrs. Baxter was attempting to fold laundry, while Alix thwarted her at every turn. No sooner would Mrs. Baxter fold an item than Alix would toss it in the air, undoing the older woman’s work.

Griff cleared his throat.

Alix glanced up from her important task. When her eyes lit on Chelsie, she let out an excited squeal and flew across the room.

Chelsie knelt down to catch her and fell backwards beneath the child’s assault. She laughed aloud. This little girl’s happiness was worth everything.

With much effort, Chelsie managed to maneuver into a sitting position and bring the little girl into her lap. From the corner of her eye, she saw Mrs. Baxter collect the scattered clothing and leave the room, laundry basket in hand.

Grateful for Alix’s warm welcome, Chelsie buried her head in the little girl’s neck, tickling her tummy at the same time. Her hair smelled of baby shampoo and talcum powder. A lump formed in Chelsie’s throat.

Griff’s insistence on keeping their partnership alive was based on valid business points, but he’d also given her a personal reprieve. Although things would never go back to the way they’d once been, the family dinners and the shared laughter, at least she’d be closer to Alix than she’d originally thought. The little girl twined her chubby fingers into Chelsie’s hair.

Chelsie laughed, then glanced over Alix’s head at Griff. He watched her with a strange expression on his face. “Well?” he asked.

“I guess she missed me, too.”

“Are you saying you missed her?”

“You know I did.” She inhaled, drawing on her stored energy. She’d be working in this house, but she wouldn’t be playing mommy anymore. The thought hurt. “That’s why we also need to work out scheduled times for me to see her, so she has some regularity in her life.”

She closed her eyes, realizing that she’d just given Griff more proof that her niece was a priority in her life. She was beginning to understand why he would never believe she loved him unconditionally and apart from his guardianship of Alix.

“Maybe.”

Her eyes opened wide. She’d never really expected him to deny her request, but she’d fight him if he did.

“After we settle one thing.”

Alix jumped off her lap and walked over to the cocktail table, pulling a thick magazine onto the floor. She contented herself ripping pages out of the center one at a time. Chelsie wanted to laugh, but she couldn’t focus on anything but Griff’s words.

“Settle what?”

He leaned against the wall. He’d pushed the sleeves of his navy sweater around his forearms and stuffed his hands into the front pocket of his khaki pants. “How much do you love her?”

“Is this a trick question?” Too much and she would prove Griff’s accusation correct. Too little and he’d begrudge her time with Alix.

“No. Just give me an honest answer.”

She nodded, deciding to tell him the truth. Except for liberal visiting privileges, she had nothing left to lose. “As much as if she were my own daughter, if not more.”

“Me, too.” He smiled, an open, honest smile that was so devastating in its impact that Chelsie almost forgot to breathe.

He cupped her face in his hands. “I love you. And I
was
looking for excuses to drive you away. But not anymore.”

“No?” She gazed at him through narrowed eyes. Never in her life had Chelsie wanted to believe in anyone or anything as badly as she wanted to believe Griff, but the hurt he’d inflicted still ran deep.

“Never again.” He brushed her lips with his, then rested his forehead against hers. “I barely remember who I was before I met you. I’d already been lost when Jared died. Afterwards, I went through the motions of living for Alix’s sake. But she wasn’t doing so hot, either, so we turned to you. And you saved us both.”

She shook her head in denial.

“Yes. We all started to live again. Even you. You’d buried yourself in that damned apartment and made sure you had enough work to cover every hour of every day. You didn’t have to remember and you didn’t have to feel.” He lifted his head and looked in her eyes. “Just like me.”

She opened her mouth to speak, but the words lodged in her throat. He was giving her everything she wanted, but she still couldn’t believe he’d changed his mind overnight. More importantly, she still couldn’t give him the children he both wanted and deserved. “What are you saying?” she asked.

“That I love you. I know I’ve given you every reason not to trust me or what I say, but that’s past. And I plan to prove it.”

“Griff, I...”

He placed a warm finger over her lips. “Not another word. I wanted you to hear the words. Believing them will come.”

How had he known what she was thinking? Her heart pounded painfully in her chest. She’d learned what was important in life. Love, family, and trust were the things that counted most. She and Griff had the first two, but something important was missing. He hadn’t trusted her at the moment she’d needed him most.

How could she know for sure he wouldn’t rip away her security once again? How could she know he wouldn’t come to resent her for not being able to give him the family he said he wanted?

Griff studied her intently, those dark eyes imploring her to believe.

He’d secured their partnership despite her belief that it was over. She wondered if he could do the same for the rest of their lives.

* * *

Chelsie stood by the copy machine, waiting as it spewed out pages of a deposition transcript. With Griff in court this afternoon, the office was quiet No hum of his low voice on the telephone, no incessant questions about family law and basic interviewing technique—questions he could have figured out for himself at this point, since Amanda had spread word of Griff and Chelsie’s practice throughout the women’s shelter. In just one short week, he carried his share of their workload and handled each case in a unique manner appropriate to the individual client. He was doing well and didn’t need her opinion on every minute detail, yet he asked anyway.