Truth and Sparta (13 page)

“
Yes,” she replied trying not to sound nervous. It was a
blatant lie considering she had been working very hard to abscond
without him even knowing. She actually felt bad for being so
duplicitous, but she saw no alternative.

He sat down on
the chair and held out a cup for her to take. She took tentative
steps forward and took the cup. His hand reached softly around her
wrist when he relinquished the cup to her. He tugged her toward
him, into his lap. She sat down as he wanted and she was again
reminded how large, warm and strong his body was. He was completely
solid and he seemed to take her weight like it was nothing. He
reached for her again and kissed her further. She could taste the
wine on his lips. There was something deeply beckoning in the kiss,
reminding her of the response he’d garnered in her the last she had
been with him—feelings she should not have been having.

“
Stay with me,” he repeated. Chara realized she hadn’t given
him an answer, which also meant that he was asking her and not
ordering her. She wanted to pull away; she suddenly felt very
uncomfortable, but she couldn’t, she had to stay the course as more
than her own life depended on it. She nodded and his mouth grew
into a smile that lit up his eyes.

Chara let
Nicias pull her up on the back of his horse. He wanted to go
somewhere. It was Chara’s first time on a horse and it was a long
way to the ground from this high up. She’d ridden the occasional
mule, but this was something else entirely. The horse started
moving and she wrapped her arms around Nicias’ waist as the long
strides of the horse moved them forward.

He’d lain with
her in the morning as well as the previous night. He’d made her
body respond powerfully and she couldn’t deny the underlying
tension she felt even now being near him. They seemed to fit
together so perfectly and he drew responses from her body whether
she wanted them or not. She wondered if he was unique in some way,
if he was the only one who could make her feel such exquisite
sensations.

Now he was
leading her somewhere and she wasn’t sure where or for what
purpose—he’d said it was a surprise. There was a part of her that
wondered how things would go if the situation had been different
and she would be staying. She wondered what it would be like to
truly be his, to live in his house and to wait for his return each
time he goes away. She knew it would be a life of responsibility,
but also of greater leisure. She would be responsible for running
his estate while he was gone, including directing his servants,
being above them in the hierarchy—not quite the station of a wife,
but above the others. Chara knew there would be many who would jump
at such a life, and an opportunity to elevate their station. Chara
didn’t feel that it was right to consider herself better than
others, particularly other Helots, but not everyone thought that
way.

These thought
made her feel very uncomfortable, but there was also something
about the idea of being his that was very exciting—not that it was
something she would consider choosing because Elphia meant there
were no choices. The beautiful baby that carried his blood and some
of his features was more important than anything else, and that
included the intense feelings when he touched her. Everything she
did was for her baby, the wondrous little creature he would never
know—it was his loss. On some level she wished he would understand
the loss he faced, but she also knew she had to keep her a
secret.

They rode for
a long time, climbing until they reached a precipice where they
could view the land as far as the eye could see. She could see the
undulation of the land, the fields and a few small huts in the
distance. She could see wind blowing fields of growing crops and
the shadows of clouds moving changing patterns across the land.

“
I used to come here when I was younger,” he said and
dismounted. He turned and lifted her off the back of the horse and
gently lowering her down.

“
Did you have time for such exploring?” she asked knowing that
he had left the area when he was very young to commence his
training, probably too young to go exploring this far away on his
own. She also knew that he’d lived with a brutal regiment of
training, discipline and deprivation—all the things that the
Spartan’s believed molded young boys into strong men and good
soldiers.

“
Not much, but I snuck away a few times.”

This surprised
Chara, she’d never heard of anyone defying the Spartan rules and
sneaking away, but then she wasn’t that familiar with their ways.
It made her curious about what he was like as a boy. She did have
an image in her head because she remembered seeing him in passing
once or twice. He’d been older than her and he’d looked serious and
unapproachable—a boy that carried his responsibilities with
gravity. Now he just looked dangerous—a man capable of inflicting
terror in the eyes of enemy soldiers, but she was also starting to
see more sides to him. She just couldn’t quite figure out what
those other sides consisted of.

“
Have you been here before?”

“
No,” she answered looking around the spectacular view. They
were up high and she could see until the haze of the very far
horizon. She wondered if the sea was just past what her eyes could
see, but she had no real clue about the land beyond the few places
she’d travelled, with the exception of the road to Megara and
Athens. “This must be what the birds see.”

He chuckled
and sat down. He had a satchel with bread and cheese inside and he
tore some for himself and handed it to her. She took the bread and
tore a bit off; it was much finer in texture from the barley bread
her kind ate. She gathered that it must be made of wheat, the more
expensive crop than the barley they had to contend themselves with.
It tasted different and it required much less chewing.

“
Is this what you normally eat, when you are out on
campaign?”

“
More or less—and meat. Although when the supply lines are cut,
we eat very little.”

“
When are you leaving?” she asked remembering that he was on a
short stop on his way somewhere.

“
I leave tomorrow.”

Chara tried to
consider what that meant for her schedule in terms of organizing
their move north.

“
We’ve marching for Megara,” he continued. “The Athenians have
invaded—a direct assault on one of our allies. They have called for
assistance and we need to drive the Athenian dogs out.”

She felt her
heart sink as the Spartans were effectively going to block the only
road to Athens. Chara’s mind started to churn through the
implications. They could not travel through Megara as they had
planned—they would be highly suspicious travelling there in cart
full of Helots at such a time. It meant they could not take the ox
and cart unless they waited for the Spartans to withdraw, which
would likely be after they lost or they won. The militarisation she
had seen when she passed through Megara was obviously in
expectation that the Athenians were invading. Why hadn’t she seen
it coming or hear of the invasion?

“
Will there be a battle there?” she asked.

“
Oh yes,” he responded. “Well, you never know. The Athenians
are weak and feckless, sometimes they just withdraw. They might
have had luck on their side at Pylos, strengthened by their navy,
but Megara will never be theirs. The Megarans will work against
them and will clear the gates for us. We will make it too difficult
for them to hold onto it.”

Chara
recognized that even if they were successful and drove the
Athenians back, there may be Spartans left there to guard Megara in
case the Athenians returned. Megara would be dangerous to traverse
even when the battle was over.

They were
going to have to travel beyond the roads, which meant travelling
over rough terrain. It would make for a much more uncomfortable
trip—not to mention more dangerous as they would have trouble
defending their activities sneaking away from the road. They also
needed the ox as it would be infinitely more difficult to cultivate
the land in Achernae without a beast to plough. Chara rubbed her
temple to ease some of the tension, but checked herself to ensure
she didn’t appear too distraught at the news. She tried to look
calm and to smile.

There was a
moment of silence and Chara thought of something to fill it as it
stretched. Things between them were easier when simply involving
acts of intimacy, but outside of that, it felt awkward as they
really didn’t have much in common. She wasn’t sure if he felt the
same; although he didn’t look like he did—he looked relaxed and
calm as he lay back on the grass, his white tunic bright in the
sun, contrasting with his long, muscular legs.

“
You must have seen much of Greece in your travels,” she
finally said.

“
Yes, but there is no place like Sparta. Our state is powerful
and our women are beautiful.” He smiled at her and Chara couldn’t
look away. He studied her then and she felt self-conscious under
his scrutiny, wondering what it was he saw when he looked at her,
if he just saw a slave girl that he could toy with. She didn’t
think so anymore—she had at first—but his interest in her seemed
more constant. She remembered that he’d called her beautiful and
she couldn’t help but blush. His features turned serious again like
a thought had occurred to him and he looked out at the view from
their perch on the hill as he lay back supporting himself with his
elbow.

“
Sometimes I worry that I will never know anything but war—that
I will never experience a life away from the battlefield—sleeping
in tents and eating when food is available. I used to feel the
excitement and the honor in it, but I have grown weary now. I have
never known anything else and I fear that I might be cut down
before I do.”

Chara didn’t
know what to say, it was a heavy confession of his deeper thoughts.
Chara suspected that these were not thoughts he’d shared with
anyone before and they were not something the Spartan soldiers were
expected to say, or sentiments they should feel. She’d never
considered him to be trapped in his life, like she was trapped in
hers. He might not have the luxuries that the Athenians provided
their higher members of society, but he had status and respect.
Seemingly he didn’t have freedom, which was something she was about
to gain when she left this place behind. On some levels they were
actually similar in that respect. She had an urge to tell him about
there being choices if one pursued them, but she couldn’t. She must
never forget that he was a Spartan and his allegiance was to his
state above all else—above his own fears and happiness, let alone
hers. She could not afford to feel for him even if he was confiding
his deepest thoughts.

“
I don’t see an end to this war and I’m not sure anyone does,”
he continued.

“
It can’t go on forever,” she said although she had no basis
for saying that.

“
Can’t it? Is Victory truly attainable?” He wasn’t looking at
her and he wasn’t looking for her to answer his questions. He was
watching the landscape again and Chara could see him frowning at
his own suspicions.

“
Come on,” he said and got up. “Let’s go.” He mounted his horse
and pulled Chara up behind him. He guided the horse down the hill
and Chara had to hold on tight to ensure she didn’t fall off on the
unstable ground.

Last time
she’d seen Nicias, she had thought it was the last time, but it
hadn’t been true. There was a chance that this wasn’t the last time
either now that their passage through Megara was blocked. They
could still go if they rode mules, but it would be much more
difficult and dangerous. They had to plan their escape much more
carefully.

She didn’t
want to think how Nicias would react when he found out that she’d
gone. She wondered if he would be angry—it was highly likely. She
couldn’t imagine what he would be like angry—a fearful sight, no
doubt. She was certain it wasn’t something she wanted to see. She
certainly didn’t want to bear the brunt of his anger. She looked
down his side and saw the sword that he always carried with him and
wondered if he would draw it on her.

“
There is a waterfall not far away, do you want to see it?” he
asked. She nodded and he ran his large warm hand down over her knee
and she felt her body heat in response.

Chara said
goodbye to Nicias in the morning. He kissed her deeply inside his
room before leaving. His father waited to say goodbye to him in the
courtyard and Chara discreetly snuck out of the gate while Nicias
said his farewells to his father.

Chara ran home
in the early morning light. Her feelings were highly conflicted,
but she knew it fundamentally didn’t matter. Her mission was
spelled out as clearly as his seemed to be; although there were
some details that she needed to work through. She was not going to
let this setback stop her from finding a way. Part of her
determination lay in the fact that she wasn’t sure she could deal
with Nicias anymore. She hated the deception and she was also
weakening toward him, which she could not afford. It was just a
thing that could not be and the sooner that was firmly established,
the better.

There was no
one at home when she got there and for a moment she wondered if
they had left without her. She felt a spear of panic shoot through
her, but then rationalized that it was unlikely that her father
would leave while her situation was so uncertain. She found her
father and the young boy who were to travel with them in the
fields.