Try Me (7 page)

YOU CAN'T, Fang confirmed. WERE YOU TRYING TO DRIVE DAN INTO HER ARMS? ‘CAUSE THAT'S WHAT JUST HAPPENED.

Yeah. Talk about a royal screw-up . . .

[Back to Table of Contents]

Dan stood and nodded. “Okay. Let's get to work, Nic."

They headed out the door and down the hall before I got my act together.

No, he couldn't leave like this. Heart in my throat, I blurted out, “Dan, wait."

He and Nicole turned to stare at me. Now what, genius? “Uh, can I talk to you, Dan? In private?"

"Is it really necessary, Val?"

Why did he look so annoyed, like I was some dumb kid hanging on his shirttail, or something? “Yes, it is.” I had to find out what the heck was the matter with him. Fang trotted forward and poked him in the shin for emphasis.

He heaved a sigh. “Okay. Nic, you want to wait for me in the break room?"

She nodded and gave me an odd look I couldn't interpret, then left. I wanted to grab his arm, turn him away from her, but was afraid he'd pull away. Not wanting to test it, I said, “Let's go back to the briefing room, okay?"

Dan followed me to the room, which was empty as I suspected. Good. I glanced down at Fang who backed up, saying, HOW ABOUT I JUST WAIT OUTSIDE?

"Thanks.” He could probably still hear my thoughts from there, but it was nice of him to give me the illusion of a little privacy.

The door shut behind Fang and I turned to face Dan. He stood there, arms crossed, annoyance on his face. “What was that all about?” he asked. “You're the best trainer we have. Do you want her to get killed?"

"No, of course not.” I wouldn't wish that kind of death on anyone. “But I have a good reason for wanting to train demons instead.” Such as finding a certain thief . . .

"Like what?"

I hunched my shoulders and glanced away from his hard stare. “I . . . can't tell you."

"More secrets, Val? Why can't you tell me?"

"This involves Micah—something I have to do for him. It's his secret, and I don't have permission to share it with you.” I'd already shared too many of Micah's secrets with Dan. “But Ramirez knows about it."

Dan nodded. He understood honor and duty. “I thought—” He broke off and rubbed his neck with one hand.

"Thought what?"

"That you might be jealous of Nic,” he said reluctantly.

Lola rose within me, jealous, possessive . . . her emotions focused into a single word: Mine. It reverberated throughout my body, demanding Dan's absolute obedience. Lola was like a genie in a bottle, desperately rocking to get out and sink her hooks into Dan.

Oh, crap. I had to keep her from popping the cork. Enslaving Dan each time I saw him was not the way to win him over. I closed my eyes and fought Lola to a standstill. Luckily, it seemed to be easier this time.

Once I had her under control, I opened my eyes to see Dan watching me warily. “Should I be?” I asked as calmly as I could.

Dan wouldn't meet my eyes. “You and I were partners, Val. Nothing more."

My throat choked up and I barely got out, “That's a lie and you know it. What's the matter with you, Dan?” I asked it softly, hoping he'd see reason, not think this way, not treat me like this.

"Nothing."

Yeah, right. “Don't give me that crap. You act like I have Ebola or something."

He stuck his hands in his pockets and shrugged. “I'm just keeping my distance."

"Why?” I hated that it came out more as a wail.

"Come on, Val. You know how it is. People bond during intense situations, but it's not based on anything real. It never lasts."

"You don't know that.” When he did nothing but shrug, I added, “You said you were cool with what I am, that every man needs a little Lola in his life."

He sighed. “Yeah, but I still remember what it felt like to be totally owned by you. I still feel the pull, and I hate the fact that I can't trust my own emotions around you."

"Dan, I promise, I won't do it again—"

"You just did. Tonight, in this very room."

"I couldn't help it. They goaded me into it."

"And what happens when they goad you again? Or I do something that happens to tick you off? You're like a time bomb waiting to explode and I don't want to be in the blast zone again when it happens."

"I'm getting better, I swear it. Just let me—"

"No.” He cut me off with a weary sigh. “It won't work. It would never have worked. I'm too old for you, you have your whole life ahead of you—"

"Cut the crap, Dan.” He was pissing me off now. “Stop acting like you're doing this for me. Seven years difference isn't that much and you know it.” It certainly hadn't stopped him before. “Tell the truth. This is really about that little blonde, isn't it?"

"Nic?"

"Of course, Nic. Who else is slobbering all over you?” I knew I sounded like a jealous idiot, but I couldn't help myself. I had to know what he thought.

"She's not—"

"Okay, slight exaggeration. But the timing seems awfully convenient. You meet her and all of a sudden you're dumping me. What does that tell you?"

"Nothing. It's a coincidence, nothing more."

"That's not how it looks from this angle. Are you going to date her?” The thought made my gut tighten.

His jaw tightened. “I don't know. I hadn't thought about it. But if I do, it's none of your business."

I pressed my lips together and nodded. None of my business. Guess that told me where I stood. “Got it.” I was out, she was in. My eyes suddenly stung and I looked down so he wouldn't get the satisfaction of seeing me hurt.

"I need time, Val,” he said softly. “I need to think about this. It's better if we don't see each other for awhile. Maybe this is a good thing."

Not trusting myself to speak, I nodded again then turned my back on him, hunching forward against the pain.

I heard him walk away and the door close behind him.

Soon after came the click of nails against the linoleum floor. Fang nudged me. YOU OKAY?

Hot tears spilled down my cheeks and I dropped to the floor and hugged him to me, burying my face in his wiry fur. “No,” I choked out.

He licked my hand. HE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU.

Yeah, and he didn't deserve my tears either, the rotten insecure-with-my-power jerk. I raised my head and wiped away my tears. “I know.” A world of possibilities waited for me out there, and I hadn't even started to discover them. Time to make like Magellan and explore.

I rubbed Fang's ears, silently thanking him for being there for me. “He was right about one thing, though."

WHAT?

"I do need to find a way to control Lola. I can't let her get the best of me again."

Fang snuggled closer. MICAH CAN HELP.

I hoped so. ‘Cause if I didn't, I'd never be able to find a guy who loved me for myself . . . Lola and all.

[Back to Table of Contents]

I decided to take the rest of the night off and actually sleep in the dark, like most people do. Unfortunately, that meant I woke up late morning just as Dan's sister came home from work. Gwen Sullivan, normally a bouncing bubble of fun, greeted me from the kitchen as Fang went out the doggie door of the townhouse. Now, though, the redhead looked a little tired after her nursing shift in the ER.

She opened the refrigerator and put some eggs and cheese on the counter. “Want an omelet?” she asked.

Gwen was a great cook—something I was so not—but she was also Dan's sister, and I wasn't sure I wanted to talk to her right now. “No, thanks.” I grabbed a Coke, figuring I'd catch something to eat later.

"How are you doing, Val?” she persisted.

"Fine,” I muttered without meeting her eyes.

"Really? That's not what I hear."

Surprised, I glanced up to see her watching me with a combination of sympathy and pity in her eyes. I'd love to unload on her—the only girlfriend I had—but sheesh, Dan was her brother and she didn't know about my inner demon. “You heard wrong,” I said shortly, and headed toward my bedroom.

That didn't stop her. She followed me. “Dan told me what happened the other day.” She paused in the doorway to my room, then added softly, “All of it. The succubus and everything."

Oh crap. I closed my eyes briefly then turned around to see her expression. What did she think of me?

"Hey, I'm cool,” Gwen said softly, looking like she wished she could take my hurt away. “You can't help what you are. I told Dan that, too."

"It didn't do any good,” I muttered.

Fang came trotting in then and looked back and forth between the two of us. HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

She knows.

ABOUT ME, TOO?

Gwen answered that herself by saying, “He told me about Fang, too. Makes sense. I wondered why he only ate people food, was so well-mannered, and seemed to always understand what we said. He's a lot smarter than any dog I've ever known."

She bent down to pet him and Fang accepted it as his due. DID I MENTION HOW MUCH I LIKE HER?

"I don't know about the well-mannered part,” I said drily. “He's a bit of a smart-ass."

HEY, Fang objected. I AM NOT. I'M A WHOLE LOT OF SMART ASS.

I laughed and repeated it to Gwen. She chuckled, then said, “You're really good at that—changing the subject."

I tried to shrug it away, but Gwen wouldn't let me. “If you ever want to talk about it . . . “

My stomach churned at the thought. My emotions were still too raw, like an open wound. “Thanks, but I have help. My cousin Micah—” I stopped there, not knowing if Dan had told her about Micah and the Demon Underground. Again, it wasn't my secret to share.

"Okay, but can I make a suggestion?"

"Sure.” Hey, if it would help remove some of this pain, I was willing to try anything.

"Think about who you are and who you want to be."

"Huh?"

She sank down onto my bed and asked, “Who is Val Shapiro? Are you just a bad-ass vampire hunter and a succubus? Is that all that defines you?"

I frowned and sat down beside her. “I don't get you."

She bumped my shoulder with hers. “What I'm asking is, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Fang cocked his head, also waiting for my answer. “I, uh . . . I don't know. I never thought about it."

"Do you want to still be staking vamps when you're forty?"

"Probably not.” I guess I figured I'd never live that long. “But what else can I do?"

"What do you want to do?” Gwen countered. “Do you have any other hobbies or interests?"

"Not really."

Gwen nodded and stood to look around my room, studying it like she was trying to find something. “So, you've lived here . . . what? Almost a month?"

"I guess. So?"

"So there's absolutely nothing personal here, nothing that screams ‘Val.’ It's all . . . generic."

I glanced around, noticing it did look kind of bare. Guess I didn't have the decorating gene. “Fang sometimes screams in my mind . . ."

Fang and Gwen snorted in unison. “Didn't you ask your parents for more of your things when you left?"

"What things? I have my furniture, my vampire doll, and some jewelry from Mom . . .” I stopped, realizing that sounded kind of lame. “I guess I'm just not the materialistic type."

Then again, the place did look kind of sterile, temporary. Especially compared to the decorating Gwen had done in the rest of the townhouse. She had lots of bright colors and funky doodads that really reflected her personality. What did this room say about mine?

She added gently, “I was hoping to learn more about you through the things you like to have around you.” She glanced down at Fang. “The only thing I can tell from this room is that you like smart-ass terriers."

DAMN BETCHA, the terrier in question said.

Yeah, but how was I supposed to figure out what my style was?

WHY DON'T YOU ASK GWEN FOR HELP? SHE HAS A GREAT SENSE OF STYLE.

Out of the mouths of hellhounds . . . Out loud, I said, “I guess it wouldn't hurt to add a bit of color or something.” Maybe then I'd actually want to stay here more often. “But will you help?"

Gwen grinned. “Of course. You know how much I love shopping."

I laughed. “Retail therapy?"

"Something like that. What decorating style do you like?"

What styles were there? “I like what you've done. It's fun."

She shook her head. “No, the point of this is not to copy my style, but to find one of your own. Define yourself your way. Define Val."

"Okay.” I nodded decisively, liking the idea of having something to focus on besides how miserable I felt. And it even sounded fun.

OH, JOY, Fang muttered. SHOPPING. I'LL PASS.

Just as well. I had special identification for him that said he was a working police dog, but it was still a hassle to take him in and out of stores.

"Good,” Gwen said with a little bounce. “Let's go on my next day off—"

A loud beep went off then, startling both of us. I hadn't had a cell long enough to get used to it. I glanced at the phone. It was a text message from Micah, asking if I could meet him in an hour. “I need to answer this."

"Okay,” Gwen said and exited the room. “I'll still make breakfast if you want some. For Fang, too."

YES! the walking garbage disposal said.

I grinned. “Thanks, we'll take you up on that after all."

Over breakfast, we made plans to go shopping on her next day off, then Fang and I headed to Micah's office at Club Purgatory. I paused at his office door, feeling my stomach churn again. Micah had promised to help me control Lola, and I really wanted to, but I wasn't sure what he had in mind or if I'd like how he planned to do it.

Fang shoved me with his nose. C'MON, TAKE IT LIKE A MAN. At my wry look, he corrected himself. ER, I MEAN, LIKE A VAMPIRE SLAYER.

Sighing, I raised my hand to knock but Tessa opened the door before my knuckles met the wood. “Hi. We're just finishing up our list of the demons who were at the party. Go on in—I'll see you later."

She left and I saw Shade and Micah conferring at the computer at Micah's desk. “We're printing it out now,” Micah said. When I glanced questioningly at Shade, Micah added, “I trust Shade completely."

Fang sniffed the air, looking disappointed. GUESS HE LEFT PRINCESS AT HOME.