Tumbleweed (7 page)

A nearby squirrel chattered angrily while Blue jumped back and forth, trying to get to the squirrel in the chicken wire without getting his buddy in the process. Rover continued to scream pitifully. I grabbed the first thing I could get my hands on, a stick, and whapped the furry little monster square on the head. It released Rover and he jumped free, his nose bleeding.

Now I had a problem. The squirrel was still alive. I dutifully went to find a shovel to finish the inevitable but when it came right down to it, I just couldn't do it. Partially because I had never taken a life before and didn't seem to be capable of it now; partially because the victim's stupid, chattering squirrel friend was a little scary. I could imagine it leaping on my head if I got any closer.

I'd seen Chevy Chase's Christmas Vacation. Flying squirrel to the face did not look fun. My solution presented itself when Ethan's truck appeared. I nearly bowled him over in my exuberance.

“You look happy to see me.” He grinned and waved hello.

“Ethan, I need you.” I breathlessly tugged at his hand.

“I must admit I'm flattered, darlin' but Jim'd have both our jobs if he caught us.”

“You know that's not what I meant,” I continued to tug him along. “Rover was attacked by a squirrel, and I need to whap it in the head with a shovel, but I just can't seem to bring myself to do it, and do you really think Jim would fire us?”

“That's what he said when I first brought you on.” He shrugged, and then furrowed his brow. “Did you just say Rover was attacked by a squirrel?”

“Yeah, apparently when you warned me about the mountain lions you neglected to tell me that the squirrels around here are vicious,” I accused.

“You know, I think this just might be the first squirrel attack we've had in these parts. I'll be sure to add it to the list of dangers,” he promised.

“Here. Here it is. The poor thing is hurt, but I don't know what to do with him.” We came to a stop at the scene of the crime, and I relayed the events of the afternoon to him. To his credit, he waited until I was finished to laugh. Even better, he took care of the squirrel issue for me while I tended to Rover's nose. Rover'd had his rabies shot, and the wound didn't seem to need stitches, so there was nothing really for me to do but keep it clean so infection wouldn't break out.

It wasn't until all of the hub-bub had settled down, and after I had fed Aaron and helped him with his homework, that the thought crossed my mind – why had Jim warned Ethan not to become involved with me when I first came on board? I poured myself a glass of wine and sat on my front porch.

The more I thought about it, the more it bothered me that the thought had not occurred to
me
. Ethan was a good looking man, nice to my son, and one of the few people in this world who seemed to
appreciate me just the way I was. He was fun to be around. Why didn't I have a crush on him? Did my girl parts still work? Was there an expiration date on my libido or some “use it or lose it” policy I had not been aware of? How long had it been since I'd thought twice about a guy? Suddenly I couldn't remember. Odd.

I set my wine glass aside and called out to Aaron so he would know where I was, then ambled towards the stables. Tomorrow looked to be one of the few remaining pretty days, and I wanted to try to get a ride in. I'd been grooming and doing ground work with two of the mares to get to know them. They were behaving beautifully with me on the ground; it was time to bite the bullet and hop on a horse's back.

Somehow my planned quiet ride had turned into an entire group of people and an all-day event, so I wanted to familiarize myself with the tack in hopes of looking a little less ridiculous the next day when I put it on the animal for the first time in my life. I was used to other people tacking them for me, and bridles could be trickier to put on a horse than one might realize, after all. Of course I nearly ran right over Ethan in the tack room.

“Hey.” He looked up at me and grinned. He smiled a lot; it was part of his charm.

“Hey,” I tried to sound nonchalant but backed away nonetheless. The room felt very small with him in it. There was a loud crash and a thud as I stumbled over a saddle stand, knocking the two thousand dollar saddle it held to the floor.

“Whatchya doin'?” He arched an eyebrow.

“Figuring out the tack without an audience,” I blurted out as I hurried to right the saddle stand. “I haven't ridden a horse in ages, and even then someone saddled it, and I was more passive cargo than a rider.”

“Ah.” He nodded as if considering what I had said. More likely, he was trying once again to not laugh at me.

“I didn't realize you'd be here.”

“Is that a problem?”

“It is if I want to figure this out without an audience.”

“Should I go?” he offered.

“Don't worry about it. I've already blown not looking like an idiot. You might as well stay.”

“I could teach you if you'd like.” His voice rumbled low in the stillness of the room. I nodded, the words somehow gone.

“You want to start on Lady or Jezebel?” He rose from his chair and moved towards me.

“Somehow I think Jezebel and I might get along better.”

“Really now? Kindred spirits are you?” He tugged at my ponytail playfully.

“I meant because we've been doing well with ground work.” I blushed furiously after I caught his drift. Now that I'd caught on to the fact that he was a man, I seemed to have a one-track mind.

“Come on then, Jezebel it is.” He handed me a saddle, blanket, and bridle and grabbed some tack for himself. I followed him though the stable, a little in awe of the fact that I was actually getting to ride a horse. Now. Anytime I was near someone who knew what they were doing around horses, I watched them as intently and discreetly as possible to learn all I could.

So I was actually pretty confident through the process all the way to the point where I needed to clean her hooves. That one was trickier than it looked and her hoof was so heavy, it was a struggle to hold it in one hand. I sincerely hoped my assurance to Aaron that it would get easier with time was true. Once I struck what I thought was an okay position, it hit me that I had no clue just what I was supposed to be cleaning out of her foot and I didn't want to hurt her with my ineptitude.

Ethan must have picked up on my quandary because he came and knelt beside me, placing his hand over mine and guiding my movements as he explained just what and how to scrape out the horse's hoof. I swallowed hard and did my best to concentrate on the task at hand.

“Dig in hard here; move up with a clean steady stroke…. Now back down here.” The cadence emerged, with him kneeling beside me at each leg and taking me through the process again, his breath soft and warm on my neck as he leaned over me. I was a nervous wreck by the fourth hoof.

It was amazing to me that I could stand when we were done. Even more amazing, I didn't need all that much help as I finished the process of tacking up the horse. Some, but not too much.

I couldn't shake the warmth that still radiated through me from his touch. Every time Ethan came to stand behind me, looking over my shoulder to check a cinch or adjust a stirrup, the warmth flared anew. Somehow I made it all the way through the process, and I found myself on the back of a big, beautiful gray mare.

The night was crisp and cool. The stars were brilliant. They never ceased to amaze me. Surely they weren't the same stars I had gazed upon back in the city. Riding alongside Ethan down the little dirt lane, my smile must have been nearly as brilliant as the stars. I was riding a horse, and pretty darn well, if I did say so myself.

“Well lookee there, you're a natural,” he declared.

“I am.” I couldn't help being a little surprised. “But I don't remember it being this bumpy.”

“That's the Fox Trotter gait. You either love it or hate it. And you'll hurt in places you didn't know you had tomorrow.”

“Now you tell me.” I didn't care at that particular moment. I was on a horse!

“So what do you think of the Fox Trotter experience?”

“I think I like a good old quarter horse,” I admitted.

“Yeah, me too,” he confessed sheepishly. “Mac here is a mustang. I'll never own anything else.”

“Tumbleweed's a mustang too, isn't he?” It dawned on me why he seemed to move differently than the other foals on the farm that were his age. He was a different breed.

“Yep, I picked his mama up from a government auction last year. I was hoping to use her to start my own place.” He absentmindedly fiddled with Mac's mane.

“I'm sorry,” I whispered. What could I say that didn't fall short? The loss of the horse had been a double whammy.

“Can't change what's done,” he shrugged it off. “Boy that kid of yours is doing well with Tumbleweed, though. You should poke your head out of the office long enough to watch him in action.”

“I'll do that,” I promised and then paused. “I haven't been ignoring Aaron, have I? I mean—this place, this job means so much to me, to us, that I don't want to mess things up. I do seem to have trouble tearing myself away at the end of the day, though.”

“That's pretty normal on a place like this. It's not a job; it's a way of life. We all struggle to find the balance.”

“That's not limited to farm life,” I muttered, thinking of my family in St. Louis. They were always headed somewhere, always busy. I couldn't remember the last time we all just sat around and watched the sun set in St. Louis. Here was different, though. Here I worked harder than I ever had in my life, but the sunsets demanded my attention. Tonight, as the stars glittered on an inky backdrop, the insects provided a symphony, and the breeze caressed my cheek, I decided that surely heaven wouldn't be complete without the Ozark Mountains.

“Thank you for this,” I hugged Ethan briefly but fiercely after we had brushed the horses down and put our things away. “I had an amazing evening.”

“Good. We'll have to do it again sometime. Just don't tell Jim.” He lightly kissed my nose and then strode away. I floated back to my cabin and fell asleep with a contented smile on my lips.

Chapter Five

I woke up
the next morning completely certain that if my girl parts had not been previously broken, they were now. So that's what Ethan meant when he said I would be sore from the Fox Trotter gait. Huh. I wasn't really sure anymore what I'd thought he was talking about at the time, but I was pretty certain I would have been a little less blasé about it had I known he meant this. The pain started in my calves and ran straight up and around my legs to the inner thigh.

As I gingerly made my way to the bathroom to grab a hot shower it hit me, I was supposed to get back on a horse today. Well crap. There was no way I was letting Aaron down, so I'd just have to suck it up and do it. A nice long shower and a strong cup of coffee would surely do the trick. Or so I told myself. I was still moving slowly and trying my best not to grimace when Aaron and I made our way to the stables.

“Hey there.” Ethan tousled Aaron's hair in greeting as he met us at the stable doors.

“Hi!” Aaron exuded enthusiasm. “Can I ride Jezebel this morning?”

“You read my mind, kiddo.” Ethan motioned to the horse already cross-tied and waiting for her tack.

“Who am I on?” My entire body screamed at the thought of climbing back on another bobbing beast.

“You know, I thought I'd get some time in on Lady today. How about you take Mac out?” There was a twinkle in his eye that told me he knew. If I weren't so relieved to be riding his mustang, I'd be embarrassed that he knew how badly my inner thighs were hurting.

“Thank you,” I mouthed, almost melting with relief. He tipped his hat, grinned again, and moved on to help Aaron saddle his horse. I made it all the way through tacking up Mac without incident, and we were soon en route. Cheyenne and David met us at the edge of their property and our little procession slowly made our way to what they had deemed the perfect picnic spot.

The young couple bantered cutely back and forth. Every so often David would give his wife a devil's grin and she would blush prettily in response. I really wanted to hate them both. I wasn't at ease in my own skin when I was their age. I still wasn't. Cheyenne's words from before came back to haunt me, and I tortured myself for the thousandth time – had I given up too easily on my dreams as a girl?

It was entirely possible that my contentment to blame my parents and circumstance – while letting my dreams slip away – had cost me the life this girl had now. I shook those troubling thoughts off and set my mind to not become jealous of a 22-year-old with a size two behind. What a waste of a good horseback ride.

Something about being in an open field on the back of a mustang made me forget how sore I was. I don't know why, but it was exhilarating to watch the cattle startle and then part like the Red Sea as we approached.

Mac's entire body changed whenever there was a cow within range. His muscles were suddenly more taut, his expression alert. He was waiting for a cue from me, I could sense it. I'd heard of a horse having cow sense but hadn't really known what that meant. Even a fool like me could tell this horse had cow sense.

The pasture leveled out some and Ethan clucked his tongue. Immediately Lady responded by picking up the pace. The other horses were quick to join her and I found myself riding at a lope. It was exhilarating and terrifying. When I was a little girl, I would look out over hills just like these and imagine myself galloping across the fields on the back of a trusty steed, free as the wind. Well, a lope was just shy of a gallop and I probably wasn't quite as stunning as I had been in my daydreams, but this was still amazing.

By the time we headed back, I was feeling less like Sheena, Queen of the Jungle, and more like a frozen Popsicle. Winters in these parts
might be milder than they used to be, but it was still pretty danged chilly. My fingers were starting to go numb despite the gloves and the screaming in my thighs had taken on a banshee-esque quality. I hunkered down into my coat and scowled at nobody in particular.

“What in the….” Ethan pulled up short, his jaw clenched in anger as he glared ahead.