Twilight 4 - Breaking dawn (21 page)

I could see how easy it would be—to think about nothing more than my part. It wasn’t hard to imaging attacking Jasper and Emmett. We’d been close to that before. I’d thought of them as enemies for a very long time. I could do that now again.

I just had to forget that they were protecting the same thing I would protect. I had to forget the reason why I might want them to win.…
Jake
, Embry warned.
Keep your head in the game
.
My feet moved sluggishly, pulling against the drag of the strings.
There’s no point fighting it,
Embry whispered again.
He was right. I would end up doing what Sam wanted, if he was willing to push it. And he was. Obviously.

There was a good reason for the Alpha’s authority. Even a pack as strong as ours wasn’t much of a force without a leader. We had to move together, to think together, in order to be effective. And that required the body to have a head.

So what if Sam was wrong now? There was nothing anyone could do. No one could dispute his decision.
Except.

And there it was—a thought I’d never, never wanted to have. But now, with my legs all tied up in strings, I recognized the exception with relief—more than relief, with a fierce joy.

No one could dispute the Alpha’s decision—except for
me
.
I hadn’t earned anything. But there were things that had been born in me, things that I’d left unclaimed.

I’d never wanted to lead the pack. I didn’t want to do it now. I didn’t want the responsibility for all our fates resting on my shoulders. Sam was better at that than I would ever be.

But he was wrong tonight.
And I had not been born to kneel to him.

The bonds fell off my body the second that I embraced my birthright. I could feel it gathering in me, both a freedom and also a strange, hollow power. Hollow because an Alpha’s power came from his pack, and I had no pack. For a second, loneliness overwhelmed me.

I had no pack now.
But I was straight and strong as I walked to where Sam stood, planning with Paul and Jared. He turned at the sound of my advance, and his black eyes narrowed.
No,
I told him again.
He heard it right away, heard the choice that I’d made in the sound of the Alpha voice in my thoughts.
He jumped back a half step with a shocked yelp.
Jacob? What have you done?
I won’t follow you, Sam. Not for something so wrong.
He stared at me, stunned.
You would… you would choose your enemies over your family?
They aren’t—
I shook my head, clearing it
—they aren’t our enemies. They never have been. Until I really thought about destroying them, thought it through, I didn’t see that.
This isn’t about them,
he snarled at me.
This is about Bella. She has never been the one for you, she has never chosen you, but you continue to destroy your life for her!
They were hard words, but true words. I sucked in a big gulp of air, breathing them in.
Maybe you’re right. But you’re going to destroy the pack over her, Sam. No matter how many of them survive tonight, they will always have murder on their hands.
We have to protect our families!
I know what you’ve decided, Sam. But you don’t decide for me, not anymore.
Jacob—you can’t turn your back on the tribe.
I heard the double echo of his Alpha command, but it was weightless this time. It no longer applied to me. He clenched his jaw, trying to
force
me to respond to his words.
I stared into his furious eyes.
Ephraim Black’s son was not born to follow Levi Uley’s.

Is this it, then, Jacob
Black
?
His hackles rose and his muzzle pulled back from his teeth. Paul and Jared snarled and bristled at his sides.
Even if you can defeat me, the pack will never follow you!

Now
I
jerked back, a surprised whine escaping my throat.
Defeat you? I’m not going to fight you, Sam.
Then what’s your plan? I’m not stepping aside so that you can protect the vampire spawn at the tribe’s expense.
I’m not telling you to step aside.
If you order them to follow you—
I’ll
never
take anyone’s will away from him.

His tail whipped back and forth as he recoiled from the judgment in my words. Then he took a step forward so that we were toe to toe, his exposed teeth inches from mine. I hadn’t noticed till this moment that I’d grown taller than him.

There cannot be more than one Alpha. The pack has chosen me. Will you rip us apart tonight? Will you turn on your brothers? Or will you end this insanity and join us again?
Every word was layered with command, but it couldn’t touch me. Alpha blood ran undiluted in my veins.

I could see why there was never more than one Alpha male in a pack. My body was responding to the challenge. I could feel the instinct to defend my claim rising in me. The primitive core of my wolf-self tensed for the battle of supremacy.

I focused all my energy to control that reaction. I would not fall into a pointless, destructive fight with Sam. He was my brother still, even though I was rejecting him.
There is only one Alpha for this pack. I’m not contesting that. I’m just choosing to go my own way.
Do you belong to a
coven
now, Jacob?
I flinched.
I don’t know, Sam. But I do know this—
He shrunk back as he felt the weight of the Alpha in my tone. It affected him more than his touched me. Because I
had
been born to lead him.

I
will
stand between you and the Cullens. I won’t just watch while the pack kills innocent—
it was hard to apply that word to vampires, but it was true—
people. The pack is better than that. Lead them in the right direction, Sam.

I turned my back on him, and a chorus of howls tore into the air around me.

Digging my nails into the earth, I raced away from the uproar I’d caused. I didn’t have much time. At least Leah was the only one with a prayer of outrunning me, and I had a head start.
The howling faded with the distance, and I took comfort as the sound continued to rip apart the quiet night. They weren’t after me yet.

I had to warn the Cullens before the pack could get it together and stop me. If the Cullens were prepared, it might give Sam a reason to rethink this before it was too late. I sprinted toward the white house I still hated, leaving my home behind me. Home didn’t belong to me anymore. I’d turned my back on it.

Today had begun like any other day. Made it home from patrol with the rainy sunrise, breakfast with Billy and Rachel, bad TV, bickering with Paul… How did it change so completely, turn all surreal? How did everything get messed up and twisted so that I was here now, all alone, an unwilling Alpha, cut off from my brothers, choosing vampires over them?

The sound I’d been fearing interrupted my dazed thoughts—it was the soft impact of big paws against the ground, chasing after me. I threw myself forward, rocketing through the black forest. I just had to get close enough so that Edward could hear the warning in my head. Leah wouldn’t be able to stop me alone.

And then I caught the mood of the thoughts behind me. Not anger, but enthusiasm. Not chasing… but following.
My stride broke. I staggered two steps before it evened out again.
Wait up. My legs aren’t as long as yours.
SETH! What do you think you’re DOING? GO HOME!

He didn’t answer, but I could feel his excitement as he kept right on after me. I could see through his eyes as he could see through mine. The night scene was bleak for me— full of despair. For him, it was hopeful.

I hadn’t realized I was slowing down, but suddenly he was on my flank, running in position beside me.
I am not joking, Seth! This is no place for you. Get out of here.
The gangly tan wolf snorted.
I’ve got your back, Jacob. I think you’re right. And I’m not going to stand behind Sam when—
Oh yes you are the hell going to stand behind Sam! Get your furry butt back to La Push and do what Sam tells you to do.
No.
Go, Seth!
Is that an
order
, Jacob?
His question brought me up short. I skidded to a halt, my nails gouging furrows in the mud.
I’m not ordering anyone to do anything. I’m just telling you what you already know.
He plopped down on his haunches beside me.
I’ll tell you what I know—I know that it’s awful quiet. Haven’t you noticed?
I blinked. My tail swished nervously as I realized what he was thinking underneath the words. It wasn’t quiet in one sense. Howls still filled the air, far away in the west.
They haven’t phased back,
Seth said.

I knew that. The pack would be on red alert now. They would be using the mind link to see all sides clearly. But I couldn’t hear what they were thinking. I could only hear Seth. No one else.

Looks to me like separate packs aren’t linked. Huh. Guess there was no reason for our fathers to know that before. ’Cause there was no reason for separate packs before. Never enough wolves for two. Wow. It’s
really
quiet. Sort of eerie. But also kinda nice, don’t you think? I bet it was easier, like this, for Ephraim and Quil and Levi. Not such a babble with just three. Or just two.

Shut up, Seth.
Yes, sir.
Stop that! There are not two packs. There is THE pack, and then there is me. That’s all. So you can go home now.

If there aren’t two packs, then why can we hear each other and not the rest? I think that when you turned your back on Sam, that was a pretty significant move. A change. And when I followed you away, I think that was significant, too.

You’ve got a point, I conceded.
But what can change can change right back.
He got up and started trotting toward the east.
No time to argue about it now. We should be moving right along before Sam…

He was right about that part. There was no time for this argument. I fell into a run again, not pushing myself quite as hard. Seth stayed on my heels, holding the Second’s traditional place on my right flank.

I can run somewhere else,
he thought, his nose dipping a little.
I didn’t follow you because I was after a promotion.
Run wherever you want. Makes no difference to me.

There was no sound of pursuit, but we both stepped it up a little at the same time. I was worried now. If I couldn’t tap into the pack’s mind, it was going to make this more difficult. I’d have no more advance warning of attack than the Cullens.

We’ll run patrols,
Seth suggested.
And what do we do if the pack challenges us?
My eyes tightened.
Attack our brothers? Your sister?
No—we sound the alarm and fall back.
Good answer. But then what? I don’t think…

I know
, he agreed. Less confident now.
I don’t think I can fight them, either. But they won’t be any happier with the idea of attacking us than we are with attacking them. That might be enough to stop them right there. Plus, there’re only eight of them now.

Stop being so…
Took me a minute to decide on the right word.
Optimistic. It’s getting on my nerves.
No problem. You want me to be all doom and gloom, or just shut up?
Just shut up.
Can do.
Really? Doesn’t seem like it.
He was finally quiet.
And then we were across the road and moving through the forest that ringed the Cullens’ house. Could Edward hear us yet?
Maybe we should be thinking something like, “We come in peace.”
Go for it.
Edward?
He called the name tentatively.
Edward, you there? Okay, now I feel kinda stupid.
You sound stupid, too.
Think he can hear us?
We were less than a mile out now.
I think so. Hey, Edward. If you can hear me—circle the wagons, bloodsucker. You’ve got a problem.

We’ve
got a problem,
Seth corrected. Then we broke through the trees into the big lawn. The house was dark, but not empty. Edward stood on the porch between Emmett and Jasper. They were snow white in the pale light.

“Jacob? Seth? What’s going on?”

I slowed and then paced back a few steps. The smell was so sharp through this nose that it felt like it was honestly burning me. Seth whined quietly, hesitating, and then he fell back behind me.

To answer Edward’s question, I let my mind run over the confrontation with Sam, moving through it backward. Seth thought with me, filling in the gaps, showing the scene from another angle. We stopped when we got to the part about the “abomination,” because Edward hissed furiously and leaped off the porch.

“They want to kill Bella?” he snarled flatly.

Emmett and Jasper, not having heard the first part of the conversation, took his inflectionless question for a statement. They were right next to him in a flash, teeth exposed as they moved on us.

Hey, now,
Seth thought, backing away.
“Em, Jazz—not
them
! The others. The pack is coming.”
Emmett and Jasper rocked back on their heels; Emmett turned to Edward while Jasper kept his eyes locked on us.
“What’s
their
problem?” Emmett demanded.
“The same one as mine,” Edward hissed. “But they have their own plan to handle it. Get the others. Call Carlisle! He and Esme have to get back here now.”
I whined uneasily. They
were
separated.
“They aren’t far,” Edward said in the same dead voice as before.
I’m going to go take a look,
Seth said.
Run the western perimeter.
“Will you be in danger, Seth?” Edward asked.
Seth and I exchanged a glance.
Don’t think so,
we thought together. And then I added,
But maybe I should go. Just in case…
They’ll be less likely to challenge me,
Seth pointed out.
I’m just a kid to them.
You’re just a kid to me, kid. I’m outta here. You need to coordinate with the Cullens.
He wheeled and darted into the darkness. I wasn’t going to order Seth around, so I let him go.